Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

wait what the hell is DH

if it is "da husband" then i reserve the right to be rationally angry

33. bars that have no free option for sober dudes (doesn't affect me but hey i have sober friends)

irrational largely because i expect bar peeps to give out stuff for free, which makes no sense. but cmon fuckers pony up

34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh." Just don't. BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING LAZY. USE YOUR GODDAMN WORDS.

35. 20-something Little Miss Sunshine barista at my local Starbucks omg I fucking hate you: unless you are 50+ years old, you cannot call me 'sweetie' or 'sweetheart' or 'hon'. In fact, UNLESS YOU ARE A FUCKING WAITRESS FRESHENING MY COFFEE AT A TRUCKSTOP IN EAST FUCKOFF IOWA, YOU CAN EAT A DICK. JUST SHUT UP AND MAKE MY COFFEE. Please.

36. Friendly, engaging conversation first thing in the morning. SHUT UP SHUT SHUT UP YOU RIDICULOUS FREAK OF NATURE.

37. "Orientated".

if it is "da husband" then i reserve the right to be rationally angry

Its "dear husband" afaik. Theres horrid acronyms for the kids too, tho I forget what they are now.

And it makes me think of those columns in womens trashy mags, like "Mere Male" that are all "lol! hubby put a shoe in the REFRIGERATOR, he is SUCH A DUMMY!"

&*^^&% uuughhh.

38. I really hate that sound in YouTubes when there's no sound but breathing and the camera moving around in someone's hand, all Kkkkllonnkkkuuhhhh

east fuckoff

Bicyclists who run stop signs because THEY ARE INVINCIBLE.

39. I really do get irrationally angry on internet AND irl when anyone does the "well CRYSTAL bands are the new WOLF bands" joke or any of its variants ("I'm starting a band called Black Deer Crystal Wolf Bear, right?").

Most people think it's a cute joke, but I've heard it like nine bazillion times. It's like a warning flag that someone pays a enough attention to music to joke about it, but not enough to actually form a substantive opinion on anything.

the fact that LAFTH guy--a professional comedian!--has a variant of it in the jacket copy of his book pretty much cements the fact that he is a total hack

We were making wolf band jokes, like 4-5 years ago

To be fair, the people who usually do this are 20 year old boys who have a tenuous relationship with the physical world and their frontal lobe.

(xp to myself... or maybe not)

For that matter, WOLVES are no longer a hip or funny reference

40. People who eat noisily at their desk in a cramped shared office space. There's someone who's manages to slurp when eating an apple - how's that possible?

41. people who litter
42. people who don't clean their dogs' poop off the sidewalk

actually these belong on the "disgusting savages" thread.

43. people who say they are "going down to X" when they are actually travelling north or vice-versa

17. People who make left turns on red. THAT'S ILLEGAL.

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 5:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

hey, this is OK in seattle. one-way onto a one-way.

44. people shouting into cell phones
45. people shouting upon exiting bars & clubs
46. people shouting to one another as "conversation" in any environment

47. people who frequently want to tell you how incredible their kids and/or pets are

48. people who have to think things over once they get to the register. you're there, fucking buy something.

that's not innocuous that's actively reprehensible

hey, this is OK in seattle. one-way onto a one-way

It's legal here too if you're going one-way onto a one-way, but in FL people do it everywhere, even 4-way traffic lights. Often to make a U-Turn, but sometimes to actually turn left. buncha dumbfucks here.

49. white people who use hip-hop slang ironically, to be funny. OK WE GET IT, IT'S NOT FUNNY, FUCK OFF.

that's not innocuous that's actively reprehensible

yeah half of these thingsa are stright up dickish, not borderline or innocuous!

^was gonna say

There's someone who's manages to slurp when eating an apple - how's that possible?

You have heard of this thing "apple juice?" I don't want to blow your mind, but it comes from APPLES. And sometimes it comes out when you're EATING THE APPLE. Apple juice dribbling down your face is nagl.

like dudes never proof reading their posts (keyboard issues really beginning to cramp my style)

Assumed "thingsa are stright up dickish" was your Italian/Cockney heritage coming through tbh.

ha!

50. People that list Passion of the Christ as an 'important' film.

Italian/Cockney heritage

Italney? Cocklian?

I'm just imagining a mashup of those two accents

romeford

51. I have a friend who corrects me every time I say "black comedy" as she says the proper term is obviously "dark comedy" since the prior one obviously means stuff like Richard Pryor. OH YEA THEN WHY COME EVERYBODY ELSE USES THAT TERM, FECK OFF!

besides, Richard Pryor would be "Black comedy", not "black comedy"

Ha, my wife refers to African-American comedies as "black comedies". I'm trying to slowly and gently correct her. This weekend we'll be watching Dr. Strangelove, for instance.

52. Hear me out here:

I go to this bus stop every morning. The first people to arrive sit down on the bench under the shelter, then everybody else wraps around the outside of the shelter, with the line forming a bit of a tail once the number of people grows so large that they can't fit around the edge of the bus shelter.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/busstop1.jpg

However, once the bus arrives, the tail group of people break off from the line and form their own line that simply waits there until everybody else has wound their way around the bus shelter and into the bus.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/busstop2.jpg

I guess that the intent is to somehow be efficient and save the extra ten steps or so that it would take to get around the bus shelter, but it drives me nuts, like to the point where I want to yell at them.

God, I'm really glad to have gotten that off my chest.

yr friend is being just ridiculous.

34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh."

I only hear this in the States and every time I can't quite believe it. I'm saying Thank you here!! Say anything but Uh huh. so weird.

Sry - xps

xxxp Try it Italney/Cocklian style, where everyone tries to cram on board the bus at once without regard for their place in the queue, all the while saying things like "'ere Guvnor! you just elbowed me in the apples and pears! Cock sparra' 'ow's yer diddler macaroni pastrami marscapone?!"

stuff like that irks the hell out of me.

xxxpost - yea I remember when I was a kid, the girl who used to pick us up and drive us home always said "uh huh" after I said thanks and I interpreted it to mean "yep, I did something for you", which came off as rude.

53. People who sit and wait for someone to back out of a parking spot when there are 3,000 other parking spots available in the lot. IS IT THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU SAVE YOURSELF THREE EXTRA STEPS, GO MATE WITH A KANGAROO YOU NUNRAPING SON OF A DISHTOWEL

34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh."

I only hear this in the States and every time I can't quite believe it. I'm saying Thank you here!! Say anything but Uh huh. so weird

I only recently realized that I do this. I've been making a concerted effort to say "you're welcome". No idea where I picked it up.

probably from one of the people at the bus stop

You have heard of this thing "apple juice?" I don't want to blow your mind, but it comes from APPLES. And sometimes it comes out when you're EATING THE APPLE.

Doesn't seem to bother me when I eat apples. I thought the juice came from crushing apples.

most of the apple juice I drink doesn't come from real apples.

"you got it" is my go-to when thanked

21. People who don't have enough/any change for the tollbooth, and actually get out of their car to ask the cars behind them for change. THESE ARE UNMANNED BOOTHS AND THEY GIVE YOU THREE FREEBIES, JUST DRIVE THROUGH YOU COCKFARMER.

― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:46 (11 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

They do? I never heard of that.

I often say "no problem", which actually is a response that irks a lot of people too.

Compared to places like Minnesota, Idaho, Washington, and Oregon that have one state-run liquor store per town that close at 7pm and aren't open Sundays it was positively luxurious.

You can buy booze in grocery stores in WA now!

― kate78, Thursday, May 30, 2013 9:26 PM (2 hours ago)

hey wait now, mn does not have state owned liquor stores, and they close at 10 on weekdays depending on city ordinance. they are closed sundays which is stuuuupid

State owned or not, it just seems that buying liquor or higher than 3.2 beer in MN is a pain in the ass.

I didn't mind while I worked at Liquor Depot off Washington. "New Year's Eve? Let's close at 10, and buy the way, feel free to buy your drinking resources at cost."

*Sniff*

the sound of drumsticks clicking to count off a song

relatedly, bass players who do brief little noodly things right after a song finishes, like a little string slide or a quick thump.

I believe I have the same hatred for guitar solos.

FYI: This thread has been retired. Here is the new one:

Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier