― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 26 October 2003 21:50 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 26 October 2003 22:05 (twenty years ago) link
― RJG (RJG), Monday, 27 October 2003 01:32 (twenty years ago) link
― Ian Grey (Ian_G), Monday, 27 October 2003 05:19 (twenty years ago) link
Grieving does nothing for the dead. We grieve for ourselves, for what we can no longer have. Elliott Smith got exactly what he wanted, and we can give and take nothing else from the man. Because it provided a sense of approval and connection, Smith's old concerts can now be remembered as sacred events. But what a failure of the imagination: all moments are equally rare, whether someone is playing a guitar or not, whether Smith is alive or dead. Those on the message boards who are grateful they saw him perform live are fully vested in the lie that somehow the story, the man, and the experience of the music are all bound together, that the aggregate pleasure of thousands can be summed up into one living soul, one ex-addict with a beating heart, and now his entirely solitary act—seppuku without the second—can be seen as some kind of communion, a concluding act to his oeuvre of bitter depression. A pair of round cracked eyeglasses on an album cover, and a ticket stub from 1998. A bit of cloth dipped in his blood, a fragment of the true cross. It's all abouttakingthe easy way outfor you,I suppose.
― alex in mainhattan (alex63), Monday, 27 October 2003 22:37 (twenty years ago) link
(yes the 14 year old is back)
― Caitlin O'Neil (kurdtkobain205), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 03:20 (twenty years ago) link
― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 04:54 (twenty years ago) link
― Pete Scholtes, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 18:40 (twenty years ago) link
Everyone says they’re happy pills. They’re not. If I’m having a shit day I still have a shit day. But it’s not like a shit day/week/month/half-a-fucking year like I used to have. I used to wake up every morning thinking about death.
Not in a wanky self-absorbed romanticised ‘everyone will miss me when I’m gone’ kind of way. More like an animal that knows it’s gonna die soon. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, be around a dying dog.
My conscious mind was in denial about suicide, my unconscious mind was running amok. I was dreaming about how I was gonna go. I had preferred method, location, time – all ‘hypothetical’ of course. The shadows that took me at night were always present in my waking time. Turning ‘the act’ over and over. Refining. Planning. Don’t tell me that‘s a fucking normal state of mind,
People think of suicide like an act. It’s more like an unstoppable motion, a whirlpool event that becomes irreversible at a certain point down the spiral wall. You can see clearly where it all went wrong, back at the outer reaches before you went down the flume. At this point you’re at the mercy of the beast. It either spins itself out or you go down the hole. Depression is cyclical. Next time round it may not be so benevolent.
I was lucky. I got help in time and made it through the potentially dangerous first 2 weeks of treatment. My dosage is now reduced although I accept that I may have to be on medication for the rest of my life. Life still has it’s attendant miseries and humiliations – ho, ho. Still,I can deal with them better without this dark ambient noise that drowns out everything else.
― P.Penn, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:06 (twenty years ago) link
― squirlplise, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 22:18 (twenty years ago) link
― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 29 October 2003 09:23 (twenty years ago) link
― janni (janni), Friday, 9 January 2004 20:13 (twenty years ago) link
ten years gone
― Johnny Fever, Monday, 21 October 2013 20:35 (ten years ago) link
47 minutes gone hahahahaha never change ILX
― rip van wanko, Monday, 21 October 2013 21:23 (ten years ago) link
maybe i was a little misguided upthread. i don't think i would romanticize suicide as much anymore. in any case i still believe there are situations where suicide may be a relief. like when you have a tumor which eats up your brain. like this guy for example.
― it's the distortion, stupid! (alex in mainhattan), Monday, 21 October 2013 21:51 (ten years ago) link
Would have been 50. RIP.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 00:48 (four years ago) link
Man everyone was so mean 15 years ago
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 7 August 2019 01:11 (four years ago) link
I knew better than to read posts, this was just the first non album Smith thread I saw.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 01:57 (four years ago) link