taking sides: single, childless men in their mid-thirties vs single, childless women in their mid-thirties

at least until they were thirteen or so, the threat would probably seem pretty plausible.

This wasn't really a problem in NY, where none of my friends were baby makers, but now that I live in VA (temporarily) I'm in a much more conservative environment, and I think it is a bit of a mystery to my coworkers now as to why I am not married and making babies. If/when I move back to a large city this will hopefully change.

Also, now I work with a lot of kids and parents and I think the kids are so charming and wonder if I shouldn't embark on my own little vanity project after all. But I like to come home to peace and quiet and I wonder how I could deal with raising a child and being peppy and not cranky. Because I realize how depression in parents easily manifests itself (somewhere down the line) in depression in children. Luckily, there's no sperm donor in the picture so I don't have an opportunity to test my recent musings.

FInally, dealing with my mom's health now makes me think about who will look after me when I get older...and maybe I should have a child as a form of security. But again, this is fear speaking.

So childness for now and for the forseeable future, but not ruling out possible changes of mind, as circumstances permit.

Also very disturbed with why someone would state point-blank that childness women are somehow going against their nature. If you feel that you are not going to be a good mother, or don't have the wherewithal to raise a child, or simply aren't interested in having children, surely it's better to realize that than to blindly go along and have a child for the sake of it?

I also respect those who do have children, whatever their motivations, the delivery process itself seems massive, and all of those minutes and hours and days dedicated to childcare. I wonder how people entertain their children all day? I think I was just put in front of the tv or left with a good book, but I feel like it's important these days to be stimulating baby's brain at every moment.

Way to generalise!

-- ailsa (ailsa.watso...), April 6th, 2006.

Whoa there, Alisa. You sound a little neurotic

For Markelby:

(I'm kind of playing devil's advocate here a bit. I have no *desire* to give birth to a child. I'm not going to rush out and adopt a kid either. If I were to find myself pregnant, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I'm only thinking about the issue right now because this thread is here.)
-- ailsa (ailsa.watso...), April 6th, 2006 4:44 PM. (ailsa) (later)

And, as Andrew F pointed out, I wasn't extrapolating to the whole world. Basically, *I* don't have the desire to experience pregnancy, give birth, etc. And I don't really understand this urge in others. I do get that it's there, but without having experienced it, I can't understand how it would drive, for example, Nathalie to question Trayce's decision to not bring another child into the world, given that Trayce is a grown-up intelligent woman who has, presumably, given this matter a bit of thought.

I *do* understand that everything changes when you have a kid (I do have a mother, after all, and she didn't really want kids either, but has managed more than OK). I just don't understand this rampant biological ticking clock stuff. I can't imagine a point ever in my life where I'll go, "oh, what I need now is a baby". I'm 33, I've been happily married for five years. If I was going to do it, now would be as good a time as any. I JUST DON'T WANT TO.

I think I have stuff I could pass on to the next generation (I do "mother" problem teenagers for a living, you know) and I have considered fostering, as it's not so *final* as adopting and having a kid, but it can be... (my big brother was fosterered by us when he was 11, he's now in his late 30s and very much part of the family).

Sorry, Mark, you called me a robot (and you know me well enough, I hope, to know that I'm not) so I just wasn't sure. Also because I use "cheers" in a sarky voice more often than not. Thanks :-)

Seconded on Mary's post. Much more eloquent than my ramblings.

If it helps - I have fallen pregnant before. I had an abortion. No regrets. Sorry. Not going to apologise for it.

?

there is nothing inherently wrong with either group

i just found out my mom smoked throughout her pregnancy with me. thanks mom!
― the man from mars won't eat up bars where the tv's on (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, April 6, 2006 11:54 AM (fifteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

she did look cool tho
― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, April 6, 2006 11:55 AM (fifteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hahahaha

sarahell otm. the thread title sets up a pointless opposition that the OP then blithely ignores in order to make a blandly 'trenchant' observation. bfd.