the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

Obi Wan Kenobthree

LOOK skywalker

And shame on Roger Ebert for lauding visuals over story and characters. He KNOWS better.

― kenan, Wednesday, September 29, 2010 1:56 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

He's ALWAYS done that. He gave Spawn, a movie that's arguably even worse than the Phantom Menace (and has even worse effects), three and a half stars.

Yeah, I guess he does give a multipass to all things comic-book-ish.

hahaha

"Use the Force 3D goggles"

C3-DO

some points in favor of dark city:
kiefer is pretty good as the nerd
it never inspired any fanfiction (i have this theory that fanfiction is a kind of autoimmune response by an audience spurred by intrinsic defects in the source material [this would be supported if we could count up the number of prequel fanfics vs. original trilogy])

i can't think of any in favor of spawn.

I never watched "The Cell" but I'm pretty sure it didn't deserve the four stars Ebert gave it.

I kind of tuned out the rest of the movie, but this scene is worth 4 stars!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDGLkpSUFhM

The Cell reminded me of a hundred-minute version of Madonna's "Nothing Really Matters"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAVx9RKaLPU

that is the meanest thing I've ever seen written about The Cell

ha - I'm pretty sure it isn't.

"scena del cavallo"

"but this scene is worth 4 stars!"
what i meant was 'this scene is worth HORSE stars!'

i can't think of a single scene in star wars that's worth 3D-izing more than a cross-sectioned horse.

^^^ list thread

he should make jar jar 3-d and keep everything else in 2-d

I wonder if this is happening because someone complained the characters in the prequels "were two-dimensional" and Lucas got confused.

calling them two-dimensional is being generous

How come every fucking scene in these movies involves someone standing in front of a window with a million fucking things happening in the background.

― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 19:22 (1 year ago)

Well now Lucas can remake the films so that there's a million things flying around in the foreground right in front of your face.

STAR WARS 3-D: THEY FLY @ U FACE

Especially that scene with the shapeshifter assassin and Obi-Wan is hanging onto that flying droid and Anakin is chasing after them. You know that scene is just going to be five minutes of shit and wacky aliens in flying clown cars careering towards you constantly.

I hope we'll be able to smell Watto's burps.

And Jabba's farts!

George Lucas does not exist - he never did. He is manage by a robo-star in manner of #2536. He will soon introduce something for you - THE CHOMPING DUCK GETS HIS FATTY OUT FOR VADAR

can this be the thread where we just recycle complaints from red letter media? because seriously why did the shape-shifting assassin need to hide its face with a veil.

If the assassin was shape-shifting why didnt it just become Padame and kill itself?

The senate chamber will look pretty dope, tho.

truu dat!

This pretty much sums up the prequels:

http://i.imgur.com/95WpR.gif

By the way, the Red Letter Media guy's Star Trek reviews are hilarious, maybe better than the SW ones (depending on whether or not you're a Trek fan)

Lucas now forced to shill for PC World, just to make a bit of money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVjTBHEnj04

(actually it's quite well made, and feels old school Star Wars-y. I like the scene wipes, or whatever they're called. Despite that, it still somehow leaves a bad taste)

That's going to be in the 3D version of ANH. The inside of the Jawa transport is going to look like a branch of PC World.

Totally always wished they had made Star Wars graphic adventures back in the day. Those two based on Indiana Jones were great. The Fate Of Atlantis was 1000x better than the new movie too....

http://www.redlettermedia.com/sith.html

the episode 3 review is finally up... 2 hours long!

but it just flies by!

Yes, it does. Pretty good, but not as good as the ep 2 review. Really like how he pointed out certain things that were spoiled because of the over-reliance on green screen, like Obi-Wan's non-reaction at a four-armed robot unsheathing multiple lightsabers right in front of his face. Also the bit about how unimaginatively the talking scenes were shot.

Yeah I thought that bit was pretty illuminating.

I had a dream last night that Peter Jackson decided to do Lucas-style re-releases of all the LOTR movies that included new footage of new characters, a corsair played by Nic Cage in an eyepatch and an evil witch played by Andie McDowell.

a corsair played by Nic Cage in an eyepatch

I would watch a film about this.

I think that Star Wars III review (review!?) is tremendous - it took me an age to watch but then really made me think. Real insight, comparative analysis and a passion for the original pictures, as well as laughs and some OTT maybe self-publicizing digressions.

i like this series. baby han solol!

but i think the original trilogy films have a lot of shit in them too. i don't like he holds them up as great filmmaking.

"evil witch played by Andie McDowell"

there's this movie with a bond girl who looks just like andie mcdowell playing some flying witch called her majesty's secret elements or something like that.

is there really a baby Han Solo in the prequels? how did that work

its a joke in the video shakey

"even ray charles could see that coming... and he doesn't know anything about Star Wars!"

LOL @ that one!

love when he asks 'is it something that should've been done' about a story element and then answers with the clip of vader screaming NOOOOOO

I think what's great about these is how much it digs past the superficial reasons I thought these movies sucked and really gets into the mechanics of it - - - it's like a master's course in the ways and means of dullness. The discussion of the limitations created by green screen and the incredibly lazy blocking is soooooooooooo OTM.

Totally agree, the amazing thing is they make you realize that the movies are even worse than you had previously thought. It illuminates The sheer totality of their crapness