vadge horror stories

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Is your beau's expression's strained?
Do you have got a rankling uterus?
It's time you got your pooky drained;
your timing's mightily fortuitous!
For Lysol Douche's new product line
Will leave your beaver feeling fine!

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:40 (nineteen years ago) link

tep, after your work
on this thread, your compliment
rings like golden bells

that having been said

what's the matter?
he won't try
a single slice
of your hair pie?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:41 (nineteen years ago) link

uterus/fortuitous WOW

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I was trying to work out a pudenda / Nintedo rhyme but it sorta just fell through...

i got as far as

he played my pudenda
with skill and with style
like the control pad of a nintenda
holding his breath the whole while

but it didn't seem to have any panache.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:44 (nineteen years ago) link

message to
the nation's foxes:
keep your boxes
unobnoxious
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:45 (nineteen years ago) link

When it's tough
To take the stuff
He's say "enough"
So clean your muff.
LYSOL DOUCHE

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Just a sprinkle
On your quim
And he'll play it
Like a theremin!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Let your soldier's
Flag unfurl
And wash that clam
You salty girl
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:55 (nineteen years ago) link

won't eat the vadge, madge?
won't munch the quim, kim?
you don't need a new boy toy
just douche yourself clean.

scrub out that clam, pam
you don't need to be shy, mai
just hose out that pita, rita
and douche yourself clean.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:55 (nineteen years ago) link

is the stench of your vaj
driving your man to self-neuter?
try LYSOL DOUCHE
like roto rooter, but for you cooter

― oops (Oops), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:56 (nineteen years ago) link

(I'm so sorry, 50 ways to leave your lover has been in my head all day. I should be shot)

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:56 (nineteen years ago) link

HOSE OUT THAT PITA.

Well, looks like I'm never having tzatziki sauce ever again.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:57 (nineteen years ago) link

A little splash on wifey's gash
when she drives commando, the car won't crash
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:57 (nineteen years ago) link

just hose out that pita, rita

xpost

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:58 (nineteen years ago) link

whaaaaaat?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:58 (nineteen years ago) link

'Well, looks like I'm never having tzatziki sauce ever again'

Taramasalata, anyone?

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Who knew that a vagina that smells like antiseptic was so integral to car safety!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:59 (nineteen years ago) link

"Remember kids, buckle up... AND DOUCHE!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Thanks, Officer Overly Friendly!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:01 (nineteen years ago) link

A thoroughly neutralised vaginal passage is the key to success in every sphere of life, I find.

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:02 (nineteen years ago) link

It's definitely U&K if you wanna get with these SPHERES OF LIFE, right here! ayy oh!

― diceman (Oops), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:05 (nineteen years ago) link

cunnilingus
may be wanting
if your "thing" is
something daunting

LYSOL DOUCHE

― antexit (antexit), Friday, 18 June 2004 23:36 (nineteen years ago) link

The "germs" Lysol allegedly would kill were sperm. "Protect your married happiness" = prevent a pregnancy.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Now we've gotta start over!

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:11 (nineteen years ago) link

If you want
To keep your fun,
Rid your oven
Of tha bun!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:40 (nineteen years ago) link

pH balance
"right" today?
wash those buggers
clean away!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Anytime
You need to throw a
Curve ball
At spermatozoa:
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh dear oh dear, what's going on?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Stand-up guy,
terrific feller -
sense of timing
less than stellar?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Rhythm method
out of synch?
wash those peskies
down the sink!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:52 (nineteen years ago) link

me and my ex-catholic posse will probably be harping at this particular angle for DAYS

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:53 (nineteen years ago) link

So you are all recording these, right?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:53 (nineteen years ago) link

No lovin'
from Jim?
Nourish
your quim!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Hello to last week me. Fair enough.

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:55 (nineteen years ago) link

*hysterics*

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:57 (nineteen years ago) link

ok for those who object to "perfect" rhymes:

Guesswork's good
for Roman types.
Who here needs
these Handi-Wipes?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:58 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG ALBUM WAITING TO HAPPEN: "Ned Raggett Reads Slogans For Lysol Douche Written In The Burma-Shave Style"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Husband'd rather
have a beer?
Get some Lysol
Up yer labia
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:01 (nineteen years ago) link

28 days
Through the thrush;
Time to clean
That uterus!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:05 (nineteen years ago) link

After Mass,
things got real hot -
said he'd pull out,
then forgot?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Men all think
you're just a strumpet?
Sterilise
thy facking crumpet
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Halt that odour
sweet and true
emanating
from your smoo
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:10 (nineteen years ago) link

"smoo"!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:11 (nineteen years ago) link

http://img71.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/red_vadge_copy.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Lovin' at an
all-time low?
Whack some up
your camel toe
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:16 (nineteen years ago) link

couldn't say no
to sailor boy?
lather up
and smiles ahoy!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:21 (nineteen years ago) link

hide your shame
from prying eyes--
stop their stares
and sterilize!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:23 (nineteen years ago) link

works on counters
works on grout
works to flush
the fetus out
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:23 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG ALBUM WAITING TO HAPPEN: "Ned Raggett Reads Slogans For Lysol Douche Written In The Burma-Shave Style"

This COULD occur...

Dan and I, it should be noted, are currently creating the world's worst Lysol Douche TV commercials in chat.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:24 (nineteen years ago) link

I am very ashamed of myself.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:24 (nineteen years ago) link

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