In Honor Of ILX Being Ten, How About Some Quotable Posts Of Yore.

also i'm pretty sure he posted on ilx about the first time he sucked a dude off

i would have to ask ethan where that post is tho i don't remember

can't believe keller of all ppl is posting that quote -_-

it was his first time with a hooker, get it right

nah i'm talking about another post

Q: who invented nerd rap?
A: Nerds!!!!!! (Who rap!!!!!)

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Monday, December 27, 2004 9:55 AM

dylannn!!!!

Hell yeah! SO many stupid bitches out there. TYou really got to get a handle on some shit, man!
Yuo gotta be looking out for yourself. You don't want so,me stupid bitch getting one or two over on you, motherfucker.
I ain't met a bitch yet5 who didn't turn out to be some stupid ass opain in the ass fuckhat!

-- black anus (phookyeahbyotc...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Fuck yeah, bitch!

-- black anus (kojk...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Motherucker!

-- black anus (juj...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Shitfaced in Brooklyn!

-- black anus (lala...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Can I buy you a fucking beer?

-- black anus (hol...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

This ain't Miami, bitch!

-- black anus (marbl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Ain't this some fucking bullshit or what?

-- black anus (klakl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

-- black anus (nmnm...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Oh my motherfucking GOD!

-- black anus (l;klkl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

La la pa fucking looza!

-- black anus (lklakl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Come on my face, why don't you?

-- black anus (klakl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Can't really help it, motherfucker, if the bitches be stpid as hell and can't fuck worth a goddam motherfucking nickel.

-- black anus (shoeitupyouras...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Motherfuckah! Cain't get no fucking releef from these stupid bitches no way!

-- black anus (shitcak...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

These is some stupid bitches.

-- black anus (lala...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

This ain't no fucking MALL RATS, bitch.

-- black anus (klka...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

God fucking damn!

-- black anus (klkl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Fuck off, twat!

-- black anus (klkalkl...), November 16th, 2004.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

-- black anus (jklaklkl...), November 16th, 2004.

Dirty fucking bastard!

-- black anus (klka...), November 16th, 2004.

Alrite. Rap sucks. "duh rap has so much meaning like we so tite we can make up namez such as FASHEEZY cuz we be bored aight son? ye ye time to do shrooms so bounce" and rock "AHHHHH!!!!!KILL ME KILL YOU FUCK YOU!" What I find better is RAP ROCK. YEA THATS THE SHIT. LISTEN TO KID ROCK SND YOU'LL LOVE THE COMBINATION. BOTH RAP AND ROCK SUCK ALONE. RAP ROCK RULES.

L8ER.

― TOE-KNEE IM A PLAYER THAT YOU LOVE TO HATE,GOT UR GIRL SUCKIN DICK ON VIDEOTAPE, Wednesday, July 24, 2002 12:00 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wonder what rap would be like if more rappers did shrooms

what person said the first van halen was a bad album? i want to come to your house and kick your teeth in while blasting "on fire" super loud. call me..

― cornelius crash (cornelius crash), Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:24 PM

Just seen this but if this thread continues to descend into meta snark (rather than, y'know, quotable posts that are actually interesting or funny) then it's going to be locked.

(That Old Fart!!! post is classic btw).

"Total bullshit (but it's abbey, so who expects anything else?). The Sound Museum albums and Colors: Live in Leipzig (duets with pianist Joachim Kühn) are terrific, Sound Grammar kicks ass, and while I don't love Prime Time the way I do his acoustic stuff, Virgin Beauty and In All Languages are both great."

we get it, Phil, you've swallowed the incomprehensible Kool-Aid, your loving hummer in the Wire showed us that (god knows why they still let you write there).

I continue to call bullshit on his last 40 or so years of recorded output, I don't especially care if anyone agrees with me. I also call bullshit on pretty much everything he's ever said in any interview ever, I think he made some incredible, essential music in the early sixties and has basically been a fraud ever since.

― jon abbey, Sunday, June 28, 2009 3:39 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ re: ornette coleman

i wonder if he ever did familiarize himself with crabcore ?

Q: who invented nerd rap?
A: Nerds!!!!!! (Who rap!!!!!)

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Monday, December 27, 2004 9:55 AM

― am0n, Monday, September 20, 2010 1:08 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this needed a repost for emphasis

Not a fan of Biggie at all, although I didn't hate him...he was just kinda "eh" to me, and was brought down bigtime by the people he constantly hung out with (Puff Daddy, ick).
Nas, I know very little about. Of course I hated that stupid "If I Ruled the World", song, but who didn't...

Friends of mine heavily into rap suggest "Illmatic", but I haven't heard it.

― uh, Sunday, April 25, 2004 6:23 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a very SMH post from my very embarassing past. the funny thing is at the time I wrote this about Biggie, I'd heard only three of his singles, and nothing much else, so I was clearly BSing.

Friends of mine heavily into rap suggest "Illmatic", but I haven't heard it.

i bought it like the next day iirc.

god i hate autumn. it's the "i don't watch television" of seasons.

― well pull down my pants and call me swamp thing (latebloomer), Wednesday, October 14, 2009 12:30 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha

Yes, Buck I have noticed that too. The clothing stores are selling tackier and tackier jewelry, and tacky things that they never sold before.
Thing are really swinging low.

The music is very poor and annoying when I shop these days.
Once in a while I enjoy it.
People are in denial.
The clothing looks frumpy even in the most exclusive stores.
I went to a food store and they sell this snack food called "Girlfriend's Booty."
This means buttock.
Pimp juice is in the stores. People are looking disheveled.
spelling>?
When people say I am not great, are they comparing me to people who have four people in a band?
It is very difficult to have no help. I try to connect with people, i like men, but they become competitive and they are no romantic..just competitive. What a disappointment.

― Marissa MM, Monday, August 8, 2005 8:26 PM (5 years ago)

great find

i feel liek thats the final step on the ilx journey: earnest music poster > stando ile person > sub bord mainstay > indecipherable one liners > sock master

― ice cr?m, Thursday, February 26, 2009 9:21 PM (1 year ago)

xpp
I'm a romantic Marissa

i don't have anything against it, myself. but the poignant beauty of ordinary humanity - the bathetic infatuation with clumsy frailty and endearing failure, as communicated by amateurish blankness and infantile affectation - has been exploited to death for decades by indie and post-indie and would-be-indie everything. in movies like juno and thumbsucker, on indie prints and greeting cards featuring awkward line drawings of birds (currently on sale in a bunch tiny shops on 5h in park slope), in back issues of mcsweeney's, in album after pitchfork-approved album of wounded & comforting soft sweater teatime glockenspiel music listened to, most likely, by someone you know and love. it's by no means an ineffective artistic stance: it works, communicates, gets a feeling across. but it's also so far beyond played that it's become a sickening zombie sham, a horrible cloud of kitsch that sucks the life out of everything it touches.

this hyundai ad is just the they live moment - the point at which the whole world gets to try on the glasses and see what's really been going down.

― carles marx (contenderizer), Wednesday, January 5, 2011 1:37 AM Bookmark

And why would anyone could think "super soak that ho" could have any other meaning than a playful water gun fight? I used to super soak hos all the time, and it was definitely platonic.

-- dabug, Monday, 21 January 2008

gotta be a sock

i thought as much when he reviewed the arcade fire

It's crap. More meaningless pabulum. Raise your standards.
― alex in nyc, Friday, September 7, 2001 1:00 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark

Yup. If you spend long getting friendly before you bring "I want to be on you" into it, then you're kind of betraying whatever friendship you've established beforehand. She's gonna think you were sweaty-palming it all along (which you were), and it might make things difficult for a while.

And you know this, that's why you (probably) never reveal the sexual tension you've built into yr. "friendships", thus sparing yrself the ugliness. And possible blowjobs.

Moral: you have to be creepy. You have to make your fuck-want clear from the beginning, even if you choose to go smooth and disguise it as "romantic interest". I understand that the romantic interest route is very popular.

I didn't get fucked, didn't get kissed until I was in my 20s. Drove me fucking crazy. I obsessed about it and about my own sexual loserdom to the point of incapacitating mental illness and listening to Swans records. Then I got drunk, hooked up with a lovely and similarly enabled girl, and ... well, let's discreetly draw the blinds on the indiscretions of the past.

Disagree that getting laid is not a curative, though. It is a curative. I never worried about it after that, and never had trouble making my intentions clear to girls I liked.

― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:38 AM (5 years ago)

now time DR DRE is made England boss. SLY SVEN has sent him hate mail saying "dre fell off". Dre has just been in THE LAB, with a PEN AND A PAD, trying to get his DAMN LABEL OFF.
When will BARWANK step down and allow proper Englishman PAUL WELLER to lead the FA away from EUROPHILE SCUM, REAMS OF RED TAPE.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, May 9, 2006 3:19 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so, for a million posts...

lol @ u arguing with a pizza hut product

― am0n, Friday, August 24, 2007 12:42 PM bookmarkflaglink

Predicting the brands-on-social-media future right there.

These posts are not all that funny, sorry.

Pvmic

"Your face will be a mashup" is probably my favourite thing that anyone has posted ever.

Pooping at your Significant Other's House within First 2 Months of Dating

ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww
ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww
ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww ahahaha eeww

― ahahaha eeww, Tuesday, May 31, 2005 8:07 AM bookmarkflaglink

clothing designers must think fat women's lives are nothing but disco parties 24/7 because there is no other explanation for all of the sequins and shiny bullshit

my wife got a gift certificate to this really clubbed out mall store. total euro trash clothing. she figured why not go look, maybe she can find something tastefull. she was trying on some jeans and she noticed some shiny bedazzled shit on the ass pockets. she said no thanks, but the salesperson said to her "no really. think of it like this. you're in the club and the light hits your ass like pow and that guy notices. these pants are hot". she gave him back his pants and threw away the GC

― jaxon, Friday, June 17, 2011 2:10 PM bookmarkflaglink

i had forgotten about "you're in the club and the light hits your ass like pow" and I'm smiling now that I remember it

i got fucked up to the day dimebag left this erth. its like why dimbag and not saddam? this planit is fucked up and its like god is a crul ringmaster
― animal, Thursday, April 27, 2006 11:31 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark

Amazing.

there a bit rubbish themm like proper plop like a bum did a plop through your fingers and typed your script for youu what a load of plop
― john snowly, Saturday, August 27, 2005 11:46 AM bookmarkflaglink

I don't want to associate Geir with buttsex okay thx bye.
― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, April 14, 2004 1:09 PM bookmarkflaglink