Pitchfork Reviews Reviews

I pressed post too early. I was going to add, "And he had no clue about the place's reputation?"

Maybe Pitchfork hadn't covered it.

and he referred to Baltimore, Maryland as bodymore murderland

instant cred imo

it's like he's never even seen the wire

and me and chris couldn’t believe it because we thought brooklyn was pretty gritty
and me and chris couldn’t believe it because we thought brooklyn was pretty gritty
and me and chris couldn’t believe it because we thought brooklyn was pretty gritty

I was going to add, "And he had no clue about the place's reputation?"

In the full piece you find out that he knew nothing about SF and chose a hostel in the Tenderloin solely because it was mentioned in a Belle & Sebastian song. He also spent the entire time there listening to B&S on his headphones and texting while his buddy was hooking up with a girl who worked at the hostel.

like a young hemingway, this kid

and every time i turn around there’s one less number to text to go get dinner

like a modern-day hal david, this kid

Wait, the Kelly Osbourne bit was quoted already but not this:

courtney love looks at me like she’s a bull about to charge me and goes “YOU WRITE FOR PITCHFORK?!” and before she maybe would have started throwing punches, i quickly clarify, “no i write a blog ABOUT pitchfork and other stuff” which doesn’t seem to pacify her that much because she says “WHY would you write a blog about pitchfork? WHY?”

If Courtney Love ever tells me I'm being obsessive and unhinged on the internet I like to think I'll take that as some sort of sign

i just fucking saw that!

it must be really really rare that courtney love comes off as the sane, OTM one in any given exchange these days

also, a brief perusal of his blog (this is actually the first time i've read it directly) = i do not believe he is 4 real, he is totally putting this shit on

I feel like its part Klosterman faux-naive shtick--but then I also work with a guy who talks kind of like this, in long inexact metaphors that make you uncomfortable and angry. Like this one:

i am thinking about how when someone moves away from somewhere they change the place that they moved away from for everyone else who still lives there but they don’t realize it, like if someone delivers you a pizza they are not thinking about you after they drop the pizza off, they are just thinking about the next pizza and the next place to go.

i'm not actually sure that makes any sort of sense at all. wtf is he trying to say?

I know. You just want to say, "No, it isn't like that. Not at all."

jesus, that fashion party post is something.

longer blog title:

"it doesn’t really have to do with pitchfork but i started out writing extensively about pitchfork like every day and it was just boring after a while, like there’s only so many ways to examine pitchfork you know? it stopped being as fun to write and probably was annoying to read. and i just like writing about parties in new york"

for a long time i didn’t wanna tell anyone how much belle and sebastian i listen to because they are a band so firmly entrenched in the indie music starter kit that if you are not over them by 10th grade than that makes you a music n00b

but i am not over them or above listening to Belle and Sebastian, or the Shins or any other band in the indie starter kit, and i guess anyone who tells you they are or thinks they are too good for any art has maybe lost the ability to discern what is important in art and what is just politics, and not that i am not thinking about politics too but i am trying to force myself to think about politics less and i wish i hadn’t spent so much time thinking that listening to popular indie bands like The Shins or Belle and Sebastian and being a cool guy were mutually exclusive tendencies. you might not listen to Belle and Sebastian for a non-political reason but that’s why i didn’t listen to them for like 4 years, i am a fool

I mean, I don't listen to Belle & Sebastian either, but it's not because of indie politics or any sort of cool factor or avoidance of "indie music starter kit" bands... it's because Belle & Sebastian make unlistenable, horrid, awful, shitty music.

Btw "indie music starter kit" is totally a 9.0 Best New Phrase.

The Shins blow, too, sorry I didn't point that out as well.

Also, this is fucking hilarious:

it sullies an otherwise palatable review in which fitzmaurice capably dismantles the new El Guincho record

except where he writes “[El Guincho’s first record’s] formula seemed as if it would benefit from further refinery” because a refinery is an industrial plant where crude substances get purified. “refinement” is the word he’s looking for here

loooooooooool

he's right!

Courtney Love OTM though. Can someone get her to post here?

still think PRR should just drop the reviewing the reviews schtick and just do the long entries about random stuff he does

lol @ Pitchfork being sonned by indie grammar cowboy

I'm pretty burnt out on music writing these days but still check PRR and usually skim it

If this had been 20 years ago and Pitchfork had been around then, Courtney would have been on her knees in the bathroom blowing this kid if he'd said "yes" to the “YOU WRITE FOR PITCHFORK?!” question.

Man, this new functional SB button is GREAT

I mostly hate Courtney but accusing her of blowing journalists is um, going a bit too far

she fucks rock STARS not journalists dontchaknow

I'm pretty burnt out on music writing these days but still check PRR and usually skim it

― (markers)___(/O_O)-☞___ (markers)

you read this site?

ILX or PRR? I read both

I doubt anyone would get down on their knees and blow somebody to get a good notice on ILX, for one thing.

i bet more BJs have resulted from the existence of ILX than PF, though

why do you think they call it "giving Ned"?

loooooool

omg

why do you think they call it "giving Ned"?

*clap, clap, clap*

i bet more BJs have resulted from the existence of ILX than PF, though

― some dude, Thursday, September 16, 2010 3:07 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

why do you think they call it "giving Ned"?

― some dude, Thursday, September 16, 2010

how do you sleep at night?
― Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 12 October 2007 19:03 (2 years ago) Bookmark

heavens!

ilx glory hole

Cannot believe you guys don't read PRR when there are brilliant insights like these ALMOST EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY:

now i am thinking about when ezra sings, “you can turn your back on the bitter world!!!” and also when kurt cobain sings, “i found it hard / it’s hard to find / oh well, whatever, nevermind” but maybe it’s a double-entendre because it sounds like he’s singing, “it’s hard to find the will, whatever, nevermind…”

I don't need to read his blog because I know you guys will c&p the best bits here. Which I appreciate because he is an enjoyable writer but I don't want to have to wade through all that extraneous Pitchfork crap to get to the money quotes.

speaking of money quotes - let us know when he starts posting about his sex life

Your search - site:pitchforkreviewsreviews.com sex - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

* Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
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Probably shouldn't have typed "s*x" into Google @ work tbh...

and then i came out of the bathroom and i felt sort of bashful looking at the topless women so i kept my eyes on the floor and i picked a seat around the bar because that seemed like the appropriate place to sit based on where everyone else had positioned themselves. inside the club were 2 middle eastern middle-aged men, the bouncer, about 15 strippers, and me.

the bartender came up to me and said “what would you like?”

http://www.pitchforkreviewsreviews.com/post/862043235/i-went-to-a-strip-club-for-the-first-time

watching does not equal doing

no, but makes for a great read:

and then one of the strippers’ routines was over and she came down off the stage and got tips from the middle-eastern men and then came over to me and held her bra open expectantly and i took my $1 out of my wallet and put it on the bar, i think the idea was to put it right in her bra but i thought “i don’t even know this woman” and she picked it up and walked away

okay now I'm lolling

strip clubs are pretty fucking weird t bh

wow.

i know this whole thing sort of feels like that scene with the prostitute in Catcher in the Rye but our conversation was much more amiable than that one

that whole entry is awesome