Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

um you can email me maybe? name dot name at gmail...

Will do, this afternoon, L-Jagz.

Also, I think I need to stop now because emil.y has a point, that it isn't really fair to deconstruct the email of someone who isn't here to defend himself.

I am just very very o_0 at this email, and I'm glad that other people share my reaction because this morning I was feeling very very rattled by it.

I thought 'auto-sorority nerve' was quite a clever turn of phrase. 'Troubled and quite unbearable' is a more dickish move, I think, as it takes any and all blame away from his obviously saintly self. Although if you shared your story about Mongolia-girlfriend man, I could totally see why he might be perplexed at your dislike of him sharing his own terrible date stories.

But YES, we should stop, this really isn't fair.

out of the ash
i rise with my red hair,
and i eat vegetables like air.

'AUTO-sorority' implies that Kate has no control over her impulses or beliefs imho

OMG estela <3

I didn't share the story, I just said that my reason for not wanting to "dive straight in" was that I wanted to check that he wasn't married and didn't have a girlfriend in Mongolia, or Kent, or even Canada as ha ha, that has actually, unbelievably happened to me quite recently.

I did not expect, in return, a *detailed* date post-morten of the last eight women he had gone on dates with (including sexual proclivities) followed by another kick at his ex wife (in addition to the two pointed swipes he takes at his ex wife on his profile.) This really went beyond "ha ha, here is a funny story" and into the realm of "I either have some serious issues with women in general" or "I think it's really amusing to mock other people for the entertainment of others"

And yes, I realise that this thread is turning into both post mortem of a date that didn't happen and mocking or at least o_0 of a person for the entertainment of others.

I don't find it a clever turn of phrase because I've just heard too many times before, men blaming "oh noes, the Feminist Sorority is what turns women against me, rather than my actual behaviour being in any way questionable, ever."

I meant "Kent, or Canada, or even Mongolia, ha ha, that has just happened" in point of fact. I'm riled.

x-post estela, you are so great, you have just made me laugh so hard I want that for my screen name.

And so it shall be.

DAMN

Does this fit?

lol xp

I don't find it a clever turn of phrase because I've just heard too many times before, men blaming "oh noes, the Feminist Sorority is what turns women against me, rather than my actual behaviour being in any way questionable, ever."

Okay, I've not heard this before, and probably would've been more annoyed by it if it had been something I'd experienced. I guess I was just thinking that he may have been so pleased with his phrasing that he hadn't really thought through the implications of what he was communicating. People are often either lazy or hyperbolic when they talk to others, and that can lead to misunderstandings and arguments. But if it's a generally known 'thing', then yeah, you should recognise that in your own words straight away and excise it if that's not what you mean.

People are often either lazy or hyperbolic when they talk to others, and that can lead to misunderstandings and arguments.

Given that he wasn't willing to give *me* this benefit of the doubt and projected all kinds of crap into the lazy/hyperbolic things I said... I'm not really willing to give him the same leeway. Especially given that it is kind of a thing, at least in the blogosphere I surf.

sounds like you and he are a bit too similar for a functional relationship - needs to be more complementary, probably

That is the worst insult I've had in ... wow. Quite a long time actually.

That really kinda hurts, TBH.

well, you posted upthread about his email displaying some of your worst tendencies ... i mean, i'm guessing this email could be this guy at his worst - i didn't mean it as an insult. Honestly, I didn't find his email _that_ bad, but then I'm not clear on what he was responding to.

maybe he'd be a perfect match for you, sarahel

considering he lives in the UK, no.

You know, it's kinda like, I can *see* some of my worst tendencies in JK Huysmans' Against Nature. That doesn't mean that I think I am very much *like* the protagonist of the book?

And actually, as much as I like brooding on stuff, I really don't think I should be giving this guy any more thought. It was unpleasant, it is enough.

The thing is - people have their good sides and bad sides, and a lot of behavior, personality, etc. is contextual.

When I said that K and the dude that sent the really long email might be too similar, there was no good/bad value judgment involved, just that it appears that both of you seem to share certain sensitivities to language, articulate an ambivalence to your own self-worth, have a tendency to overanalyze things, and are wary of relationships with new people based on a number of bad experiences. These are not inherently bad traits.

I really don't think I should be giving this guy any more thought. It was unpleasant, it is enough.

good thinking!

"In relation to hooting" was my favorite turn of phrase.

The guy is nuts, but let us agree to treat each new dating experience as a fresh start and not weigh it down with the baggage of previous failures and nutcases. Nothing worse than being on a date and all she's talking about is all the shitty dates she's been on!

that can be funny sometimes - if the person tells good stories.

Right, Sarahel, this guy is perfect for you. All you have to do is dye your hair red, become a vegetarian, call yourself Kate and move to the UK.

I didn't bring up any previous dates. I asked if he had a girlfriend. In Mongolia.

Coz, quite frankly, dude having a girlfriend in Mongolia is in hindsight the funniest thing that's happened in my whole OKC experience. But, mind you, maybe I just find Mongolia funny. I blame the Mungolian Jetset.

no the Mongolia thing _is_ hilarious!

Were the stories of the previous dates good stories or were they boring/ranty? If they weren't good stories, he would definitely not be perfect for me.

I just found them a bit weird, to be honest. Like, ridiculously over-detailed in a way that I couldn't work out if it was meant to be sad or funny. And one or two of them would have been fair enough, but, like, eight of them was really a bit much. And not even in a funny entertaining "Scott Pilgrim vs The World" set up but just... why are you telling me this? I've only known you three days?

I think you have to refer to it as Outer Mongolia for greatest effect! Like "darkest Peru".

the brief duration thing wouldn't bother me, but the ambiguity of the intent - the was it meant to be sad or funny part - that might weird me out, I think.

I'm gonna steal it as an excuse to get out of bad dates from now on. Like, if the date isn't going well, I'm going to carefully explain that I'm sorry, I can't actually date you, I have a boyfriend, skydiving, in outer Mongolia.

maybe it should be something even more absurd than skydiving? Like building yurts out of 100% recycled materials - but i think it should involve yurts - because the word yurt is inherently funny to me.

Whenever I see that word I immediately think of a hut made entirely of yogurt. With, I don't know, a sort of igloo-like internal space, maybe some sturdy struts holding up the yogurt?

I did not say I thought this through properly.

it makes me think of yogurt, too - i think that's part of why it's funny.

This dude is not what anyone wants or needs in a partner, Kate. ENBB OTM, you dodges a bullet here.

Your boyfriend should construct artificial islands out of discarded soda bottles on Lake Khövsgöl, Kate.

The word yurt is hilarious. Your boyfriend is teaching the indigenous Mongolians how to make yurts out of...plastic grocery bags, because the non-recyclable grocery totes were starting to clog the steppes, collecting into giant balls that would blow across the landscape like tumbleweeds. Which was bad for the...rare Siberian crane, because they kept trying to build nests in them but the bags sink when they get waterlogged, drowning the eggs.

My god, Lake Khövsgöl is so beautiful. What am I doing here in this city?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/BlueHovsgol.jpg

eating a more varied diet?

RIP rare Siberian crane

haven't been msgd on here in more than a week, kinda don't care (but kinda do), going to a poetry party tonight

^^^this except fuck I envy your poetry party man oh man fucksake I HATE BRITAIN

j/k britain but more poetry parties plz

is it real poetry or slam stuff?

lol

it is "real" "poetry"

my editor is introducing me to some of the other people he's working with and we're all gonna get drunk and read poems

cool! I have issues with slam poetry that this is obv not the thread to get into -- i heckled a slam poet once, he totally deserved it.

my editor is introducing me to some of the other people he's working with and we're all gonna get drunk and read poems

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