Depression and what it's really like

I mean duh you know this, but just trying to offer my internets encouragement or whatnot.

wait - are you getting drunk as a means of dealing with depression? Bad bad bad bad bad idea. I've been there. The depression doesn't go away, you just end up with depression + a drinking problem.

^^^^ ditto, self-medicating not a good idea.

Right. Alcohol is a depressant.

co-signed. the other thing alcohol does is really fuck up your decision making. had to force myself away during my bouts.

It really sucks that intelligent people with excellent taste in music are all suffering when there are plenty of useless douchebags I know who are perfectly comfortable with themselves :/.

stay strong to all who are posting here with heavy hearts and tense minds!

alcohol is a depressant fyi

― BIG HOOS is the coxsteen of that particular groop (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, January 18, 2009 7:38 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark

this motherfucker knows whats up

Fifty days of Fluoxetine (20mg), how much better should I feel in your collective experiences? I don't feel as awful as I did, but I certainly don't feel "good" by any stretch.

― get the fuck out of my mouth (boxedjoy), Monday, 6 September 2010 18:10 (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I take something similar (Sertraline, 100mg daily) and yeah, its p much 'stopped crying myself to sleep every night', motivated to do one or two things a day - not skipping up the hillside. Baby steps innit.

stay strong to all who are posting here with heavy hearts and tense minds!

Group hug! Group hug!

But seriously, I'm glad that we've established this nice little support group here on ILX. I know it's been helpful to me.

Lost another friend to this motherfucker last night.

Don't know how yet...grad school admins. only confirmed that she did it herself.

poof! and gone

fuck

damn, so sorry hadrian.

:( i'm sorry, man.

Oh, shit. Keep in touch with us, OK?

Thank you guys

Is there a more simultaneously unbelievable and perfectly logical act than suicide?

rephrase: It just struck me again, immediately upon hearing of her death, that of course she killed herself

"I can't believe it—"
"I saw it coming—"
"I can't believe it—"
"I saw it coming—"
"I can't believe it—"
"I saw it coming—"

&etc.

If it's not too painful for you right now, tell us a little more about her.

She was quiet and small and reserved, until she punched you a new eye-hole. She wrote about piloting airplanes and was always spectacularly dressed. I got to know her best through her writing, which I guess is a specific and maybe narrow way point of entry. But deep. She had been hospitalized for a month earlier this year.

Hospitalized for depression?

I'm really sorry that you and her loved ones have to go through this.

Yeah.

I can't even begin to imagine what parents go through with this shit. I'm a dad myself and just...it's gotta be bottomless.

Hey way to depress the depression thread!

You guys were just group hugging too.

Sorry all.

So now we group hug you.

Had finished a bottle. Was reading some girl's poems. Heard my ex's voice in my head say "she's better than you." Stalked to the kiitchecn to finish the vodka left tin the freezer.

is a lowdown shakin chill

is an achin old heart disease

manic depression is a frustrating mess.

hate this shit

feel like the bottom has been falling out of my brain bit by bit since I started college

oh man hadrian, hugz.

by the end of today i am determined to tidy up. considering my room has become a festering mess of non living for about a month and a half, this will be quite an achievement. must shower, get dressed and open the curtains first. this is terrible form for nearly 4pm, i know, but i am determined(ish)!

maybe a nap first.

thoughts to all itt

Hadrian, how are you holding up?

A Hoy Hoy: Don't try to do everything at once or you'll get discouraged. Clean yourself first, then take care of anything unsanitary or dangerous, then anything that's just messy. I was deep into Level III clutter most of the time I was lived in Fort Myers, and I'm emerging from Level I now.

ok. 2 points down on my 15 pt list (shower, dress), now on 3rd - collect and throw away rubbish. might as well ask now for the time i get to it, any good tips on hoovering behind objects you aren't going to be moving any time soon? p certain the huge collection of dust under my bed is having an adverse reaction to my health

well i'm not going to be around tomorrow or thursday as i'm going to house/babysit for my sis, so i'd like to come back to organisation and cleanliness - think it'll be helpful in sorting shit out and easier to keep that way. already past my first cup of tea into it tho.

If you can't get the vacuum to reach behind something large and immobile, get a dirty Tshirt or towel out of the laundry, wrap it around the brushy part of a broom, and use it to dust/sweep behind the thing.

ty ty :)

np! gl!

ok taking a break for a walk for some chinese food and some headache tablets. but ticked off 'throw out rubbish' and 'sort clothes' although that last one is a cheat as it was really just 'fold clothes and throw them in the bottom of the wardrobe'.

whatever works!

dunno why i am liveblogging this.

Whatever helps.

Ugh, I'm in the same place with organization- I've had an ankle-deep layer of styrofoam peanuts around my TV/computer desk for months now because they're too big for the vacuum cleaner, too small and numerous to be worth the effort picking up one at a time, and nobody but me (and once, a couple of maintenance guys to fix the washing machine- the highlight of my social calendar) has ever been inside my apartment since I moved in over a year ago so who gives a shit? Not to mention the unassembled bookshelf still in its box, teetering piles of books and CDs, unread email, etc. Things reached a head this weekend when I realized I'd been stepping around a huge cardboard box full of recyclable paper for almost 6 months because I hadn't been able to work up the enthusiasm to leave my apartment and haul it to the dumpster.

I've got an unassembled bookcase still in its box that was delivered in early January, whilst we still had snow and ice in the UK. And I've been stepping round a bag of laundry from last November - the last batch I did at the laundrette whilst my washing machine was broken.

Haven't vacuumed for a couple of months - though that's more because vacuuming brings on my asthma really badly.

I know it probably wasn't the intention, but a hoy hoy and telephone thing, you've brightened up my evening, thanks

there's research on the subject of how one's environment affects one's mood - but someone else has posted about this in other threads

I'm feeling pretty good now after doing it. Ok so i only did about 4 parts of my 15 pt list and the stuff 'organised' has meant that i now have just some towers of mess in designated areas, like my desk but at least i am focussed on the football and not 'omg this is a hell hole' for now :)

Oh man, that is an awesome list. I should start doing that shit.

Inspired by this thread, I washed the dishes at half time rather than just sitting on my arse and waiting on my other half to do it. This is Progress.

I now want to eat grapes and learn to play the ukelule (loads of my friends seem to be doing the latter, perhaps it is a sign).