Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?

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shut up shut UP WHY DID I OPEN THIS THREAD

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Monday, 5 December 2005 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

err on the safe side i say... if you can wait til dinner... if you can wait for a smoke... if you can wait to go to the potty... you can wait for some alone/adult time to wank.

you could take a dump in somebody's living room and clean it up before they come home too, but why go there?

i don't even want to think about how to explain what was going on if somebody walked in.
m.

― msp (mspa), Monday, 5 December 2005 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

now i really don't understand this thread. who the hell really gives a fuck whether this question is a no brainer?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

oh wait i misread nevermind!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

i don't even want to think about how to explain what was going on if somebody walked in.

http://www.4catsproductions.com/svu/index1.jpg

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

i guess that's it actually. just the fact that there's no real need to do it while a baby is present and still doing it makes it kind of odd, and weird, and creepy.

like, if you're in a desert and you take a dump, there's no water, and then you need to eat, you eat without washing your hands, oh well, what else can you do eh?

but when you're in a house with running water and soap, you take a shit, and then for some reason not washing your hands before you eat. WEIRD.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:02 (eighteen years ago) link

You wash your hands with the sand. That is what devout muslims do.

― GET EQUIPPED WITH BUBBLE LEAD (ex machina), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

not to mention pooing on the floor in the desert. vs pooing on the floor in a house that has a WC.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost devout muslims who have access to sand, you mean.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:05 (eighteen years ago) link

but what if they need to take a dump in a place where there is no sand?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

it's all social conditioning

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

can i just interrupt to say that i've read this thread in one sitting, having been understandably scared to open it at work, and:

a) ken c, you were officially the funniest man in the universe until ...
b) ... a nairn turned up on strong mind-altering drugs at 5.08pm, then spent four minutes ingesting the world's remaining supply of mind-altering drugs before posting again
c) WHAT KIND OF FUCKED-UP FUCK HAS A CHUG ANYWHERE NEAR A BABY?

thank you. you may all resume where you left off.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:08 (eighteen years ago) link

or not.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:16 (eighteen years ago) link

In my experience dinner cloths are less likely to be used when people have underwear, t-shirts, perfectly good dress shirts, etc to use.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:27 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck off, weirdo

― gear (gear), Monday, 5 December 2005 23:28 (eighteen years ago) link

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxposts

― gear (gear), Monday, 5 December 2005 23:29 (eighteen years ago) link

ha ha, you should've just left it.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Monday, 5 December 2005 23:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Yikes! This thread is crazy. I've never even been able to masturbate in the same room with a cat or a dog in it (just in case reincarnation turned out to be true and the cat or dog turned out to be my grandma).

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 00:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I swear our goldfish used to make the weirdest clicking noises against the side of his bowl when I was engaged in self-love. But that was a fucking goldfish.

― Amity Wong (noodle vague), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 00:09 (eighteen years ago) link

doesn't howard stern's book start off with a guy jacking into a glove?

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 00:11 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost as opposed to the normal, non-fucking kind.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 00:11 (eighteen years ago) link

ARRON-DAN MIND MELD

― Dan (Ha Ha) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 00:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Goldfish don't fuck as such, do they? They just kind of jizz all round the bowl.

― Amity Wong (noodle vague), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 00:13 (eighteen years ago) link

So the final takeawy from this thread is don't leave your goldfish in the same room as a baby.

― Dan (Piscene Jizz Explosion) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 00:16 (eighteen years ago) link

yes, I think we can all agree, that would just be gross.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 03:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Tuomas has got everybody riled up on this thread. Y'all all be suckas. He's the same guy what says it's cool to hang out naked with your parent of the opposite sex. Natch it's all good with a baby.

What's the deal with Americans and nudity? [WORK-SAFE AGANE HURRAH]

Is it really true that many Americans have never seen their parents/siblings/firends naked?

― BenDover, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I just read through this thread and I haven't felt this queasy since I sat through Screwballs.

― 'Twan (miccio), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:00 (eighteen years ago) link

but these are questions that have to be asked.

― latebloomer: The Corridor (Yes, The Corridor) (latebloomer), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:07 (eighteen years ago) link

WHY IS THIS THREAD STILL GOING

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:11 (eighteen years ago) link

x-post

perhaps not by mentally sound adult human beings, but someone has to tackle them.

― latebloomer: The Corridor (Yes, The Corridor) (latebloomer), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:12 (eighteen years ago) link

i even think tuomas has a vague point on that other thread (vis a vis blah blah not all nudity = sexuality blah blah) but JESUS H PEOPLE

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:13 (eighteen years ago) link

that's the thing - not all nudity is sex, obviously. ALL JACKING OFF IS, THOUGH.

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:22 (eighteen years ago) link

anyone who can maintain an erection in that situation should be congratulated for completely abandoning any pretense to shared human morality. you might as well have just eaten the baby and been done with it.

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:25 (eighteen years ago) link

did somebody bring up the end of Flirting With Disaster yet?

― 'Twan (miccio), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:30 (eighteen years ago) link

ts: a dog watching you have sex vs. a cat watching you have sex

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:40 (eighteen years ago) link

i think families that had to live in the same room - and there are many, many places like this today, just not so much in the US - became either kind of fucked up or developed strict "moral" (i.e. "ewwwww!!!") rules to deal with the overbubbling of their dark materials, both minuses, really

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:43 (eighteen years ago) link

"if you really want to see an open-minded society, you ought to consider the russian tenement blocks of 1920s lower-east side new york"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 04:45 (eighteen years ago) link

odd, and weird, and creepy = your conscience giving you a hint about morality, maybe?

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 05:24 (eighteen years ago) link

nope.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 05:27 (eighteen years ago) link

that's just social conditioning talking.

― A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 05:27 (eighteen years ago) link

yup.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 05:28 (eighteen years ago) link

exactly.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 05:28 (eighteen years ago) link

HEY SMART PEOPLE!
MASTURBATING WITH A BABY IN THE ROOM WILL STILL BE GROSS AND WRONG NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU FUCKING MICROANALYZE IT!
THE HISTORICAL RECORD OF WHOLE FAMILIES SHARING ONE- OR TWO-ROOM DWELLINGS CAN FUCK OFF!

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), December 5th, 2005.

OTM x 1,000,000,000

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 09:31 (eighteen years ago) link

welcome to the modern world.

― AaronK (AaronK), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 13:45 (eighteen years ago) link

modern world is rubbish

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 13:47 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.funjunkie.co.uk/images/capwank1.jpg

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 14:53 (eighteen years ago) link

everyone is overstating everything. TO THE POWER OF TEN ZILLION!

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 14:56 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.dur.ac.uk/z.a.craven/breadcrumbs/hongkong/wanko.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 15:00 (eighteen years ago) link

"wanko" means puppy in Japanese.

― Super Cub (Debito), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 15:29 (eighteen years ago) link

shame it doesn't mean baby

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link

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