Taking Sides: Mayhem v. Burzum

The correct answer to this question is Darkthrone. Alternate answers which count include, but are not limited to; Emperor, Arcturus, Clandestine Blaze, Red Harvest, Dodheimsgard, Beherit, Immortal, Noctuary, and, because they're the answer to every question which involves Norway, Turbonegro.

-
Alan

(20.4.98) We arrived at the gates of Trondheim prison by noon-time.
Admission was granted easily and we've made our way
from the guard post to, what appears to be, an interrogation cell.
Sterile and white. It is like a hospital lobby room. It and
myself, with the inevitable company of Hans... the smug officer who
will over-see this interview, await Varg's entrance. Soon it
comes.

IT: Hello friend! Good to see you! And nice is your outfit!
VARG: Greetings, friend. They give only the best styles for me to make my selections from in this fashion house!

(We all, aside from Hans, laugh.)

IT: Well, having only a short time to conduct this interview, I say we start.
VARG: As long as you don't mind me munching on some prunes whilst we
talk...

IT: No problem... if you'd have told me they give you such foul
snacks, I could have brought you some peanuts. Maybe next
time, eh?
VARG: Huh? Oh! No, I eat these with purpose. I've been having some
problems with bowel movements and I was told this
fruit can ease my suffering a bit. They seem to be keeping my
intestines in order....

(Varg offers a prune to It and myself, then sits the small bag on the
table next to his chair.)

IT: So, the new BURZUM album has been received with mixed thoughts by
the black metal community at large. Have you received any feedback that you'd like to speak out about?
VARG: Well, that album was beyond anything that the general black
metal audience could comprehend. You see, the average "elite black metal" record buyer is actually some fat assed, greasy fingered American looser without the ability to meet females of his own species... or perhaps some feeble spined, thin haired, prepubescent Scandinavian dimwit with an over zealous interest in Dungeons and Dragons imagery. The opinions of these kinds of lower level primates do not interest me.

IT: I thought your new LP sounded like a bad tape recording of an
ATARI 2600 game machine being played through Mr. Microphone while submerged in monkey semen.
VARG: True! To be honest, all of BURZUM's past works have that similar sound. That is why I have abandoned, totally, all forms of audible sound.. music, if you like... as a way of expressing my ideas.

IT: And what is that you'd put your efforts into now?
VARG: The designation of the placement of items... furniture, drapes,
colors of paint to be used, wallpaper... inside the home. Creative inner-home decoration. It is a true art that, until being here, I did not realize I possessed.

IT: You plan to be an interior decorator?
VARG: Laugh if you will... but the re-creation of historic Nordic
room layout styles and ancient home decoration is a dying art that must be upheld.

IT: Um... on an art-related topic, something I have always wondered
about the cover of BURZUM's "Filosofem" LP.. was that...?
VARG: Ha ha ha! Yes it was... inspired by the fourth LED ZEPPELIN
album cover! That was a point in my life, my freedom having just been taken from me, that I was thinking in strange ways. That entire first year in Oslo... I would sit in my cell and fantasize about what it must have been like to be Jimmy Page... the adoration and lust of all those sticky thighed highschool girls... tight skirts pulled up over their... er, um... and um...well, it just came through in my work as well.

IT: So you dig LED ZEPPELIN?
VARG: Well... yes. As for your question... the man in the ZEPPELIN
cover is Yrgnoth Sloob, the "Stick Hauler" of Nordic mytholody. For BURZUM's cover, in a way of tribute, I selected a picture of Helga Hob, "The Horn Blower". As the ledgends tell, these two were both very silly... but very sexual people. How this related to blackmetal, I forget now.

(A second prison guard enters the room and discretely delivers a
verbal message to Hans. He visually surveys the occupants of
the room, then leaves.)

HANS: Vikernes, you have a phone call... long distance from the United States. Some guy named Lou... something about a half
gallon of rubber cement and a chicken?
VARG: I'll speak with this person later... privately.

(The interview continues...)

IT: Do you think, were things different then they are now, that BURZUM would have ever opened for VONDUR? Seeing as how both bands were and shall never be full musical units... just given some hypothetical leeway for discussion's sake...
VARG: I think I would rather rip out my teeth with telephone repair
tools! VONDUR is not, nor ever was, true!

(An uneasy silence falls over the room. Varg and It share a hateful glare. Hans does not look up from his newspaper, but has a loud sip of coffee. The slurping sound breaks the foul, silent air and the interview continues.)

IT: And you think nazi Euro-Pop is true?
VARG: Have you come all this way to insult me?! I was sent here because I was true enough to act on my hatred for the weak! From what I have gathered by my correspondence with those still involved in the blackmetal scene, you have skipped town...jumped ship... given up the unholy fight!

IT: Ha! Little do they know! I have only regrouped... I'm out in the
hills grinding my ax, so to speak. I'm preparing for the final war!
VARG: And what would this be?

IT: My newest, and most foul creation... the blackest, most blackened
elite and eternally pitch-dark blackest of all ultra-black blackmetal...
VARG: Which is?

IT: TRUE!
VARG: Huh? The name of the band is TRUE? I don't believe it...

IT: I am It and only I am truly true.
VARG: Get out of here...

(Both rise and face each other, like some ancient warring tyrants..perched at the brink of battle. Hans, however, has other plans.)

HANS: Sit down, both of you! If you're going to act like children,
I'll have to separate you...

(Varg takes his seat, but It remains standing. Hans offers a
solution.)

HANS: If you have just got to carry on like this... I guess I could
turn a blind eye to an arm wrestling match. But keep it short.

(It and Varg take the traditional arm wrestling position and I serve
as referee. Putting my own hand over the two clasped hands of these once great blackmetal warlords, I must fight back tears of
pride. Even in such a lost age... an age of perfumed porcelain, plush pink apolstery, plastic plates, and pathetic personal primping apparatus... these two warriors would engage in battle..)

IT: Bow before me, dog... for the glory of all that which is true and
elite...
VARG: As the gods of my forefathers look down upon me and smile, I
shall know victory...

IT: ...and elite and black truest elite and....
VARG: ...for the fallen warriors and those that shall sign praises to
Odin up on high....

This is where the transcript ends. We can only guess as to what Varg,
It, Og, and Hans bore witness to on that day. The winner? Who won the title of undisputedly truest black elite?

We may never know.

"What's your band's name?"

"We're called Bloo..."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS"

Someone must photoshop Varg with a raised eyebrow.

-quite fearful of the metal kids screeching "poseur"...or not-
Alan

in closing, what does it matter what side someone takes? it is a dead issue. the time for taking sides ended in august of 1993, probably before many of you even knew of the existance of mayhem or burzum. grow up.

paul ledney to thread!

This sentence is marvellous, it's like something out of Robert Howard.

i needed a giggle today and you just delivered.

I'm always murdering people because they get on my tits... WOOOPS! did I say that out loud?

mayhem, i have no intrest in, after euronymous dead. weakling.

neither band can of course compare to Byzantum, we who are now truest vanguard of black metal. the nightspirit can not approve of the old scene, whose tiome ahs passed. the time is now for CANADIAN WEREWOLF TRUE PITCH BLACK METAL!

http://www.angelfire.com/moon2/byzantum

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), September 19th, 2003 5:39 PM. (GeirHong)

HOLY MOLY

lol

http://www.thatsnotmetal.com/2012/03/news-that-matters-paint-norwegian.html

An airline in Norway, mysteriously named Norwegian Air Shuttle, is holding a vote online for people to choose their favorite popular Norwegian individual of cultural or historical importance. The person who gets the most votes will have their image immortalized on the tails of the airplanes to celebrate the company's 10th anniversary. Here's the company's description of the contest if you'd like more information:

"Her kan du blant annet stemme på en av kandidatene som en lokal nominasjonskomite bestående av: Fabian Stang (ordfører), Hans Edvardsen (Bymiljøetaten) og Lars Emil Hansen (Oslo Museum) har nominert. Komitemedlemmene er håndplukket basert på deres lokalkunnskap og engasjement. Se nedover på siden for flere nominerte kandidater. De fem kandidatene med flest stemmer etter at nominasjonsfasen er over, går videre til det endelige valget. Du kan avgi én stemme hver dag i hele nominasjonsfasen som varer frem til 28. mars kl. 23.59."

The late Øystein Aarseth, or as we all knew him, Euronymous of Mayhem, somehow made it onto the polls. The article I read about this on Gun Shy Assassin was posted two days ago, and at the time of that writing, Aarseth was in a bleak 23rd. At the time of this writing, he made it all the way to 5th place. The progress is staggering, and I want this to happen so bad now that I can taste the goat's blood.

To cast your vote, click http://www.halehelter.no/. The website isn't in English

lol make this happen

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gJTlI22JcCA/T24lDBWYP7I/AAAAAAAAAso/gxSkBysmvvI/s1600/19994.jpg

just click the heart to vote

Hah he's already in first place.

EURONYMOOSE

When it's cold

And when it's dark

Norwegian Air

Will express you

when they refuse to use it, metal press will make a fuss and national mainstream media will catch on and = free publicity.

Although you never know in Norway, they might put him on it, lol.

call me uninformed (which i am), but mayhem Live in Leipzig is way more METAL than what I have heard of Burzum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id9FarV4Rv8

I know barely anything about metal, but have listened to some first wave norwegian black metal stuff out of curiosity. From that standpoint, I think Burzum is better, or at least more accessible. Jesu Tod just rocks so fucking hard... It's not even eerie demonic sounding to me. Filosofem in general is really "cinematic" and I think anyone can appreciate it basically.

http://pitchfork.com/advance/451-esoteric-warfare/

^ new mayhem

mayhem was the shittiest of the early black metal bands in the norwegian scene and even though they have hell hammer they still sucked, BUT they now are a very good example of black metal. varg however has always been the leader in the movement, his albums (even his newer ones) are a shining example of what the true ideology of black metal is and was and should still be today. but now you have poloshed commercial crap like cradle of filth and dimmu borgir, or whatever the fuck they are called have diluted the scene with thier bubblegum pinkmetal. varg is and was a visionary, he is perhaps the best most talented blackmetal musician out there next to ihsahn of course. so therefore i would have to take the side of varg.
― azur gungnir, Wednesday, January 30, 2002 8:00 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Live in Leipzig is so fucking good

Also Esoteric Warfare is pretty good.

heh, this thread

If you can get past the edgy cover photo, Dawn of the Black Hearts actually sounds better than Leipzig--rawer but more bottom end and way less sterile. (Audience recording rather than straight through the soundboard.) That version of Freezing Moon sounds so unbelievably malefic.

Post-Euronymous Mayhem should go away.

To the person who said Burzum must die because of the law of the Talon, or the Satanist Law, is full of shit. If Euro was not accident prone, and a threat to Varg, Then it never would have happened. Varg simply took the opportunity that any of us would take. To rid ourselves of an enemy. I do support Burzum Musically, and I have heard his own mother say that he has dropped all contact with these Neo-Nazi Organizations. So, if its true, more power to him. I do not support racism, but I do support stratification. The Stronger person individually shall overcome. This doesnt just mean physically. How many members are there in Mayhem? How many in Burzum? The point is, is that a man that can create this beautiful haunting music by himself, is talented.

Post-Euronymous Mayhem should go away.

oh, you

Acting entitled about bands we like is sort of an arrogant internet thing and I try to avoid it but this band's early stuff is special to me, I can't help it. I just don't feel any spirit in any of the new stuff. Hellhammer (or whoever does his triggers) after the mid 90s might have the worst drum sound in metal :/

Got tix for DMDS at St Vitus next month. Expecting insanity.

Mayhem is the answer btw, pretty easily

i'm going to ATL in Feb to see that - $12 on Megabus round trip.

was supposed to see this same set at MDF and got drunk and missed it

I do love the way this thread is periodically googled by mentalists.

― DV (dirtyvicar),

registration killed off the random mentalist googler. Same happened to the dmb thread

that aforementioned set ruled btw

If Count is a nazi, so what? real bm means destruction and if you can't cope with that then you're in the wrong place.

― doesitmatter, Sunday, January 12, 2003 1:49 AM (fifteen years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Love this thread so much.

Had no idea a former Bathory member was directing this. Varg might not be happy with this portrayal by the sounds of it.
https://www.blackgate.com/2018/09/26/fantasia-2018-day-22-part-5-lords-of-chaos/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjfyfNAIAcA

holy shit this rules, i wish i had caught this tour

^it was pretty killer. I will say I never was in a more dangerous pit, though, the first time I saw Mayhem and they played "Deathcrush". it outright scared me the viciousness, it wasn't like, malevolent, but people were just jerkin' an berzerkin'

For a movie about metal, Lords of Chaos has zero energy. The Motley Crue biopic was more exciting.

I liked it, mainly for the aesthetics but for a movie that is clearly made by people who love metal it’s surprisingly uncommitted to the story. I watched it last year back to back with Straight Outta Compton which does completely buy into their whole mythos and is a much more entertaining movie for it. Also, that’s a movie about music with crazy/violent personal feuds as background, Lords Of Chaos is the exact opposite.

I mean, kids do stupid/violent things to each other, blow up stuff and try to give the establishment a kick in the balls, all over the world, all the time - that’s not very interesting in itself. In the end, the only thing that made any of these guys worthy of making a movie about is that their music got famous all over the world.

those live boots Peaceville put out last year for Mayhem are fuckin' terrible. idk why I am surprised though. one of them is just Dawn of the Black Hearts show without the brains cover