Golf - classic or dud

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I hate golf. Last Sunday whilst walking in the park talking to my mother and aunt whilst taking our dogs round a park that boarders on a golf course, a very rude old man starting telling us to be quiet as he wanted to tee off. Git. So, we just talked more loudly (we weren't shouting in the first place). So, anyway golf courses are evil. It is all fun shouting "skin" is you hear a golfer shout "fore".

jel --, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Tiger's petulant bitching at the photographers is by itself sufficient proof of ultimate dud-ness. Two words for all golfers, squatting to line up their putts as a reverential hush falls over the gallery: SWING BATTER!!

briania, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = hawaiian shirts. DO keep up! Classic obv.

Jeff W, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

leave us golfers alone!!! you can have your extreme in your face lets eat a gallon of high fructose corn syrup while we make funny faces sports. we just want to be left alone!!!

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf itself=neither classic or dud.

My husband streaking across golf courses at sunrise in the early 70's=classic.

Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

He has defiled the game I love. I weep.

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm with Mark Twain ("a good walk spoiled"). Dull, badly-dressed people playing a boring sport that has been dominated by upper class WASPs.

Martin Skidmore, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'll be hitting the links on Sunday. Can't stand to watch the sport on T.V. but enjoy playing. Plus it makes a great drinking game when your playing with your friends.

Chris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I openly challenge Tiger Woods to a fight -- anywhere, anytime. Golf is the worst.

Kris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

how can a sport you essentially play by yourself be dominated by anybody (upper middle class WASPs or whoever)?

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = classic. Tiger = Super-Classic.

Dan Perry, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf-Huge amounts of land cleared out so that people can hit a ball around-D

Miniture Golf- A good time for druken teenagers on a Saturday Night. Watch where your standing at the ramp over water hole, I was hit with a flying ball and got a bruised collar bone. It was funny till the booze wore off...

brg30, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'Peter Allis = Satan' = the strangest and silliest statement I've ever seen; I can hardly think of anyone harder to despise. The man is a god.

Classic Allis - Hay exchange from yesterday;

Allis (lamenting Seve's withdrawal due to being rubbish now): 'I'm afraid there aren't too many things you get better at as you get older'.

Hay: 'Sweeping?'.

Ally C, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know their names but.

today they showed a bunch of CLIPS together [highlights, perhaps] with some krazy 'dance' music over the top.

one commentator: is that the sort of music you like to dance to?

another commentator: no, actually. I'm more of a gavotte-merchant.

I have an inkling that the another one was allis. if so: AllyC is OTM.

RJG, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

ben wright's comments about women's breasts getting in the way of their swing was pretty classic. i like how another name for the mullet is 'lpga'.

keith, Saturday, 20 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Bah Peter Allis is a 19th hole saloon bar reactionary sexist BORE who thinks that the 'little woman' shld never be allowed near a golf course and who in interviews makes dull and predictable comments abt the 'menace' of political correctness (which just means he can't tell his racist jokes anymore...)

Andrew L, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf is classic because Jesper Parnevik plays it.

Ally, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes the land is all "ruined". Of course!

Ronan, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

walter benjamin to thread!!

mark s, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

AllyC is, as he so often is, bang OTM.

and the end of the open yesterday was rather thrilling

chris, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Commentary during a lull in yesterday's final round (which, contrary to most, I found infinitely less entertainng than when the leaders were shedding shots like confetti in Saturday's gale in front of no spectators whatsoever):

Allis: A mention to Mrs [x] who's just about recovered now from the shock of the burglary. I hope they catch the culprits soon.
Hay: Terrible. [Proceeds to say something about appropriate capital punishment to apply when they are caught]
Allis: Ooh no, surely a bit of flogging first. So the punishment lasts longer.
Hay: Oh yes, of course.

Jeff W, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

eleven months pass...
Lehman Vaginal Overload, "Pin High (Parnevik's Panda Remix)"

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: the american dudes are like "hi sam, you've got a tan"
z3mk0: "yes well done beverley you were right"
thegardencentre: american commentators are like that for every sport though
thegardencentre: in fact ther news too
Ronan909: yeah zemko, and everytime someone wins and the wife comes on camera he goes
"now you can have that new kitchen love"
thegardencentre: "and a difficult genocide in central africa pete"
z3mk0: haha
*************: that's pretty OTM
Ronan909: he's said it at least three times
thegardencentre: "yes, a tricky situation for the malawians lesley"
*************: "that's right bob"
Ronan909: seve ballesteros was a great commentator
Ronan909: when he did it
Ronan909: is he on again this time
z3mk0: yesterday they werre discussing wind pattertsn and one said "he's talkign out his isobarse"
Ronan909: haha
cozenyo: haha
z3mk0: i was shocked!
thegardencentre: "1500 a day dead dave, the strike rate is rising"
Ronan909: it is so great, the best hangover tv ever
cozenyo: PARTAY tv
Ronan909: "war in iraq, wrap up warm folks"
thegardencentre: COMEDOWN TV
thegardencentre: HANGOVER TV
thegardencentre: PARTAAAAY TV
Ronan909: payne stewart
Ronan909: i miss him
thegardencentre: yea:-(
*************: "too bad about the fire that killed 15, ted"
z3mk0: bring the payne
Ronan909: haha
thegardencentre: too bad i fucked your wife pacey
Ronan909: FORE!
*************: :-)

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: people should shout fore at raves
Ronan909: and wear golf clothes
*************: hahaha
cozenyo: you don;t?
*************: walk around with golf clubs
Ronan909: i do now
z3mk0: glow clubs
*************: and tee off
thegardencentre: peopel should weaer plus fours at raves
Ronan909: tee up on stage
Ronan909: plus 4s as in
Ronan909: turn up the pitch
thegardencentre: haha, i notice ed is being markedly silent!!!;-)
cozenyo: ian woosnam's so weird
Ronan909: you wave them at the dj
z3mk0: the big raver pants are already in effect!
z3mk0: kinda
*************: you use the clubs to adjust the lighting
Ronan909: people do wear golf visers
Ronan909: already
z3mk0: when i go raving i take a caddy
thegardencentre: there is a photo of me in a gold visor winging its way towards ilx
Ronan909: i have visions of homelands with 10000 people all in cheque trousers and sleeveless pringle sweaters
z3mk0: in a little buggy
thegardencentre: i need a new caddy
thegardencentre: my last one got uppity
z3mk0: and he hands me diff drugs and water and stuff
*************: david thomas from pere ubu/rftt uses his cane as a weapon... it's a little frightening
Ronan909: "i reckon you need to take the white mitsubishi this time zemko"
Ronan909: "the next hour could be tricky, have a pint"
thegardencentre: hah, this is a challenging rotterdam track, caddy hand me another half wrap of whizz, the bpm is realy high on this one
z3mk0: and waits patiently in the revving car while i dance in fornt of him
Ronan909: i fired my caddy after i passed out one time
Ronan909: he gave me a 7 iron when i needed some vodka
Ronan909: "a challenging rotterdam track"
*************: i'm going to open a club called "caddyshack"
thegardencentre: caddyshack is the best film ever!"
thegardencentre: apart from caddyshack 2

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Tiger Woods should drink farm cider.

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 14:01 (sixteen years ago) link

i'm not sure if i want to know whether ILx chat transcripts are real or not. ah, mystery.

i hit golf balls this week. i have more natural ability at it than most other things that involve hitting balls. fun. and v. satisfying when you actually get it up in the air and far away. though i usually don't get quite as much distance as others. dunno if that's a strength thing or a technique thing (or the stella i had?). not too much exercise if you're just driving, though.

(we never heard of Africa in America, btw. TS: chatty, bubbleheaded non-news v. snide content.)

gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

doesn't Tolkien say that one of Bilbo Baggins's ancestors was the inventor of golf?

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

dud for land and water-use issues alone. have any of you been to Arizona? it's fucking horrifying.

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:09 (sixteen years ago) link

as an AZ resident I can attest to that and then some

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:20 (sixteen years ago) link

ten months pass...
wentworth.

I've started playing again recently too and my handicaps gone down from a 14 to about an 11/10 - played ardeer and carded an 84 (an unecessary 7 [!!!], and three unecessary 6s) but shoulda been a 79. that is playing to handicap I guess (it was 14) but I reckon markers would have given me the 7 and 6s as 5s (taking into account the rest of my card.)

I love golf.

soft hands!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

talk about golf.

do you like it? do you play? are you watching wentworth? will you play golf with me?

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd love to play some golf! But I need to work on my 1) putting 2) short game and 3) long game. And by "work on" I mean "gain even minimal competency."

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

I used to, I wasn't very good though. I will play when I'm older again. I like to watch golf obviously, and clearly I am a fan of it. I own 2 golf sweaters.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

I need to work on my golf sweaters!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 16:06 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...
having just vanquished my slice i must say super classic. as for it not being "strenuous" i sort of disagree.

ryan (ryan), Sunday, 26 June 2005 03:38 (fourteen years ago) link

so fkn classic

let's play golf

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:54 (fourteen years ago) link

I would gladly play golf with all of you. I'm not very good. I had lessons when I was about 13.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:59 (fourteen years ago) link

I've been really really wanting to play recently. I have to make do with Hot Shots on the PS2. An ILX golf thing would be great. Ronan can come.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

I would love to play golf with ronan.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

on E.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

rex the dog can caddy.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

just wait for the vitalic remix.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Golf FAP. It can only end in hideous disaster.

Yay!

Ally C (Ally C), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:06 (fourteen years ago) link

I hit the ball like I'm skipping stones. Still, the guy I used to go to the range with would bring a box of Franzia with him, so Classic.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Your search - hipster golfing - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:

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Gear! (Ill Cajun Gunsmith) (Gear!), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:07 (fourteen years ago) link

you can get mizuno t-zoid irons at around £100 on ebay nowadays!

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:09 (fourteen years ago) link

[xpost to Gear!]

ahem:
http://sports.yahoo.golfserv.com/apps/courses/profile.asp?Crs=14815

gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I broke 80, once, a couple of years ago. Now I'm down to playing once a year.

9-hole courses: dud.
18-hole courses where one of the hole designs is repeated a half-dozen times: dud.
Lots of changes in elevation: classic.

Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link

can someone here, once and for all, explain what a "links" course is and how it differs from other courses, without resorting to mysticism?

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:55 (fourteen years ago) link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Links_course

Golf is classic so long as you're playing well...

gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:58 (fourteen years ago) link

lol Westwood at -1

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 18 July 2019 15:38 (six days ago) link

spiethery going on right now. birdie-birdie-eagle-birdie

oscar bravo, Friday, 19 July 2019 09:56 (five days ago) link

trying to ignore the fact that jb holmes is leading. couldn't abide either he or matt kuchar winning.

rahm greenside in 2 shots with a lie so good he could putt it, walks off with a 7. no wind good scores.

oscar bravo, Friday, 19 July 2019 10:05 (five days ago) link

Westwood on -7 is it

xyzzzz__, Friday, 19 July 2019 15:38 (five days ago) link

he's going to do this to us again isn't he

dynamicinterface, Friday, 19 July 2019 16:09 (five days ago) link

Rory on +6 fuck knows why he hasn't thrown a sickie

xyzzzz__, Friday, 19 July 2019 16:22 (five days ago) link

some dude with massive glasses is leading now. i will root for him

imago, Friday, 19 July 2019 17:09 (five days ago) link

can ronan start posting again pls

imago, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:19 (four days ago) link

or deems get into golf idk

imago, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:19 (four days ago) link

but yeah, lowry is a giant with the hands of a clockmaker

imago, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:25 (four days ago) link

Weather forecast for today is, uh, interesting.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:16 (three days ago) link

im into golf!

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:17 (three days ago) link

thoughts on yerman?

imago, Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:18 (three days ago) link

rooney

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:59 (three days ago) link

but good

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:59 (three days ago) link

twc (the white cabrera)

imago, Sunday, 21 July 2019 10:38 (three days ago) link

Some pretty good scoring already today. Rain and wind hasn't kicked in yet though.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 11:41 (three days ago) link

Have so much envy about how Tommy Fleetwood hits his irons. So pure.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:13 (three days ago) link

Two pretty poor birdie attempts by him on the first two holes though.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:16 (three days ago) link

Rickie out of bounds at the first thus a double bogey followed by three straight birdies.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:22 (three days ago) link

Man Fleetwood's putter is stone cold. This could be over fast.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:26 (three days ago) link

BBC is showing 3 hours solid of netball at the same time as the conclusion of the Open is on. Not too happy about that, to be honest. Not too happy.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 15:58 (three days ago) link

stream. or channel anyone

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:43 (three days ago) link

Radio.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:47 (three days ago) link

JB Holmes +14 for the day. Ouch.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:50 (three days ago) link

cricfree

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:59 (three days ago) link

Cool, I can see the last hole at least.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:03 (three days ago) link

Easy peasy in the end.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:13 (three days ago) link

crowd was pretty quiet on that stream i presume a quirk of the coverage

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:17 (three days ago) link

Anything but quiet on the radio!

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:21 (three days ago) link

Grats to lowry he owned it. Everyone else choked at least once.

big city slam (Spottie), Monday, 22 July 2019 00:02 (two days ago) link


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