Worst TV adverts of the moment

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those new six flags are pretty disturbing. i never thought the best way to pack the theme parks was with some crazy person made up to look like an old man cabbage patching to the 'venga bus.'

still bevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:33 (nineteen years ago) link

I just saw an ad for washing-up liquid that featured the line "limes are nature's cleansers"!

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:36 (nineteen years ago) link

They are good at cleansing scurvy.

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:48 (nineteen years ago) link

And you feel refreshingly sticky after washing all over with them.

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

five months pass...
three words: Pot Noodle Horn

koogs (koogs), Friday, 1 April 2005 09:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Disagree. When he smacks the woman in the face with his enormous pant protuberance it's pure, unfettered visual comedy.

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 April 2005 09:25 (nineteen years ago) link

"Did you see that puff?"

Oral B Brush Ups - Rip, Slip, Brush....ARGH!

koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 15:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Yakult with the nerds in y-fronts, friendly bacteria and supposedly foxy women. I just don't get it.

Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:11 (nineteen years ago) link

the best bit in the pot noodle horn ad is when he knocks over the decks, i don't know why. i find it hilarious.

pete b. (pete b.), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:12 (nineteen years ago) link

The Burger King ads featuring this guy:
http://www.npr.org/business/images/graphics/burgerking_200.jpg
CREEPY

Dan M. (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh god, there's one that makes me practically gnash my teeth with rage every time it comes on (in fact it was on last night) but now I can't remember what it is. Gah. I'm sure it will come back to me.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Bluescope Steel has a jingle that's (a) annoying as all fuck; (b) has nothing to do with steel.

Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:45 (nineteen years ago) link

The Mercedes A Class advert, nice music, but what a horrible ad - guy stressing at work all day then getting into his car.

I don't understand it, he's obviously on the verge of some kind of breakdown, and no wonder being in a job like that just so he can afford the car? I bet he's driving home to attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and end it all.

Rumpie, Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:55 (nineteen years ago) link

The AWFUL Being Michael Winner ads:
*falsetto* a mouse! in a net!
calm down dear etc

KILL ME NOW

sgs (sgs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:01 (nineteen years ago) link

The AWFUL Being Michael Winner ads:
*falsetto* a mouse! in a net!
calm down dear etc

No, this is genius!

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Cocking Toucan. OK, so the ads announce the return of lovely lovely CSI after the break, but ARRRRRRGH. "I'm looking forward to meeting you, detective." Why don't they just use the "I can smell your ****" line from Silence of the Lambs and be done with it?

Haha those Michael Winner ads have gone beyond the annoyance horizon and now I just chuckle weakly and sip more gin.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:06 (nineteen years ago) link

since we see loads of films with our unlimited cards, toby and i end up sitting through the commercials way too much to enjoy. he REALLY hates two or three of them, but several are older so we figured they were gone for good.

last night, i was laughing out loud because it was like they'd set up the commercials just to make toby swear at the screen (1st the levis gang/shakespeare ad, 2nd the san miguel 'you know ines de cortes?!' ad, 3rd the toyota 'he stole my car!!' ad, and followed up by the orange board with daryl hannah 'you're a idiot')

i said that was such a bad sign that we should just leave before the movie started (especially when they previewed 9 songs again. ugh). i was right, turns out.

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Aw, I like the Orange cinema ads, even though it makes me squirm slightly that they are so precision-engineered.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, Toucan are starting to wear really, *really* thin. Because they NEVER CHANGE THEM!!! Not only that, but they never change the order. So you can TELL by whether it's "I prefer the phone..." (just starting) or "Believed to reside in apartment 214 (eighth floor)" or "I'm jet lagged..." (underlines LONG DISTANCE) where exactly in the programme you are.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Obviously I need to start drinking gin.
Or stop watching TV....no, drinking gin.

sgs (sgs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:10 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not sure whether the

HI! BARRY SCOTT HERE!

Sillit Bang adverts are accidentally terrible or purposefully awful.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:11 (nineteen years ago) link

I bet he's driving home to attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and end it all.

Bet it has a catalytic converter, thereby rumbling his game.

Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:14 (nineteen years ago) link

I still find Michael Winner hilarious.

However, I find the Joanna Lumley "You don't have to be posh to be privileged" the most hillarious at all. The amusement never wears off, no matter how many times I see them. (Though I'm glad that there's another in the series now.)

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Those Cillit Bang adverts are terrifying. Who the fuck is Barry Scott? And why is he shouting at us?

Everyone, quite, rightly has been mentioning their hatred for Johnny Vaughan's hateful smugness, but, unless I've missed it, nobody's missed the ad's where he takes that to it's logical extreme. Yes, the Nuts adverts! Some busty blonde babe haplessly tries to change a tyre, while her ordinary bloke boyf is engrossed in a copy of Nuts. To make things worse, Vaughan pipes up in the most condescending voice possible and scoffs, "Women, don't expect any help on a Thursday!". The emphasis he puts on "women" wiii-men-ah is all the more horrid. Not only are these adverts shockingly sexist, they're patronising to both sexes. As if men would be stupid enough to be lost in the pages of Nuts. Oh yeah...

Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:22 (nineteen years ago) link

That Carlsberg ad with the ordinary geezers (interesting that lager companies and lad mag publishers go for exactly the same type. Affluent, but still ordinary blokes) getting a Chinese meal. What ill conceived orientalist claptrap!

Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Nuts seems to be selling reasonably well tho...

xpost

Sven Basted (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Nuts is indeed selling weel, hence the "oh yeah..." I see loads of people reading it on the train or bus. I suppose that's its trick - the short articles, lots of pics and eye grabbing content, nothing too demanding.

Sorry, on a bit of a rant here, but just remembered the ad from a couple of years back that was based on middle class school run one upmanship. What was even worse was the one upmanship wasn't depicted through the adults but the kids. Absolutely disgusting. Capitalism will destroy your soul!

Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:30 (nineteen years ago) link

The toucan adverts rile, yes.

similar are the Vodafone gossiping over the fence ads they have on T4. they just seem very female-aimed but go out during very male-targetted programming (is it Enterprise?).

koogs (koogs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:48 (nineteen years ago) link

I love Barry Scott. He's like a character from Dare To Believe.

A possible clue to the Scott conundrum is the second ad, which implies he actually MAKES Cillit Bang. This might explain why we've never seen him before, and his peculiar on-camera personality.

Philip Alderman (Phil A), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:57 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.cillitbang.co.uk/images/home_promo_left.jpg

lock robster (robster), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:21 (nineteen years ago) link

I just love the colours of the cillit bang ads. They've clearly done their market research about what colours (purple and fuschia) appeal most to womens. (Or was it little girls that prefered purple?)

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Vanish are totally trying to out-manic Cillit BANG! at the moment, with their shocking pink and high-NRG ads.

Haha, oh something else about ads during CSI: they frequently advertise Canesten anti-thrush treatments halfway through. Target audience: yeasty ladies, ta very much.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:51 (nineteen years ago) link

at least it's not a case of product placement in the show itself

$V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:54 (nineteen years ago) link

The orange ads are fantastic, particularly the one where they give Spike Lee a baseball cap to wear.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:59 (nineteen years ago) link

No, no, Vanish feature those horrible pushy ladies in pink shellsuits assaulting people with dirt and I don't like it.

Cillit bang adverts show DEFACEMENT OF THE COIN OF THE REALM!!! and therefore is subversivly cool.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:01 (nineteen years ago) link

something else about ads during CSI: they frequently advertise Canesten anti-thrush treatments halfway through. Target audience: yeasty ladies, ta very much.

The worst time to watch TV, advert-wise, is Channel 4 in the afternoons, around Countdown. Nothing but adverts for loan consolidation companies, ambulance-chasing solicitors, or devices to help you get out of the bath easier.

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:23 (nineteen years ago) link

some of the orange ads are funny (and i still laugh at the 'bob's your uncle' bit the american guy doesn't get), but the one with daryl hannah is just SO BAD and NOT FUNNY AT ALL.

perhaps because she's a crap actress, dunno.

colette (a2lette), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:28 (nineteen years ago) link

The Phones 4U adverts with the American guy are without doubt the worst television adverts I have ever seen, what exactly are they trying to do with these adverts? Everyone involved, from the people who commissioned them, to the people who made them, to the people who appear them should be fired - from a howitzer.

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

the one with the squeaky voiced chick ringtone thing. even worse than Crazy Frog.

$V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:39 (nineteen years ago) link

DON'T DISRESPECT THE FROG!

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:41 (nineteen years ago) link

No. Kill him instead.

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:42 (nineteen years ago) link

At least they blackbarred out his wee willie.

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:43 (nineteen years ago) link

I may be small,
I may be sweet,
But baby - I know how to move my feet.

Every time I hear the beat,
I just have to move my feet,
And it makes me wanna tweet,
TWEET-TWEET TWEET TWEET-TWEET-TWEET!

(or something)

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Is it wrong to say that I think Canesten would do a lot better if their slogan was "Itchy twat? - Try that!"

Alix with an I ? (alix), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:54 (nineteen years ago) link

They need a new name that, like Anusol, describes the area of application. "Vageze", maybe. "Cervicon" (too like a Dr Who enemy?).

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"No need to scratch your snatch with...."

Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:03 (nineteen years ago) link

it's all about your daily digestive transit, and filling up your handbag with food, and then emptying it (which = VOMIT) at the end of the day.

or have we done that one?

Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I especially like when they show that handbag one during "You Are What You Eat"!

We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:07 (nineteen years ago) link

The Phones 4U adverts with the American guy are without doubt the worst television adverts I have ever seen, what exactly are they trying to do with these adverts? Everyone involved, from the people who commissioned them, to the people who made them, to the people who appear them should be fired - from a howitzer

I love these too, especially the one with the megaphones.

The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:08 (nineteen years ago) link


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