Depression and what it's really like

I can't recommend strongly enough working with your doctor if you want to get off anti-depressants. There is no possible way to do it too slowly or gingerly, imo. Seriously, this shit goes best if you work with a sympathetic professional who knows what they're doing! This goes not just SSRIs but any mental health med. Getting off SSRIs was a like petting a pile of puppies compared to tapering off Lamictal. Dear God.

My doc was really nice about it, and even following her advice I still had a seizure from going off Lamictal the last week I was working on tapering off. Scary. But, ultimately, it worked out OK. I don't think I ever should have been put on Lamictal in the first place tbh.

I was ANGRY six months later when I went to a doctor for the flu or something like that. He saw in my records what meds I used to be on, and started just chastising me and telling me I was a bad and irresponsible person for "refusing to take my meds." When I hadn't talked to him 1x the whole time about the situation (the doctor I had been seeing for my mental health was at a free clinic, this dude was not). It was just so presumptuous and entitled. I just needed to complain to someone about that, sorry guys!

the bullshit is rooted in side-effects & social stigmas

xp

(couple xposts)

Racing heart and shaking hands, sure; leg twitching and blackouts, not so much, but ymmv.

I was on Celexa for a short time, no real problems with it*, although it had a reputation for leading to suicidal ideation/behaviour at the time.

*Except, when tapering off, I had a similar experience to moonship I called brain taffy, whereby my brain felt like it would occasionally stretch out in a weird kind of slo-mo.

Just a quick reply (I'm going to look up Pillbox's meds in Medscape sometime tonight). Will you all please stop acting as if SSRIs are just another bad habit to break rather than a medication that may be vital to your health? First off, SSRIs do not = antidepressants. Second off, if you feel better on them, barring any troublesome side effects, then stay on them, for heaven's sake. Don't get off of them just because of some misguided desire for A Drug Free Life.

Look, I'm sorry for that rant, but it's just something that's been building up for a while.

Oh, and Abbott, I started writing that reply before your recent post, so if I hurt you, I'm sorry.

Hahaha, no, not at all. It's not like you jumped to any fucked-up conclusions about me, plus also you are not my doctor.

I went off my meds because after four years of taking them & doing therapy both me & a doctor & my therapist all decided I did not need them at this point in my life. I'm comfortable w/my decision.

I totally think people should make whatever decision is best for them! And that they should make it with the help of professionals who know about the person & about the meds in question. I hope I did not make anyone feel like it's time to get off the anti-depressant train. I don't have an agenda except people having the best possible mental health! Which, if that means taking whatever helps, that's great that you found a helpful solution! Nothing to feel guilty about.

i usually wanted to stop because I hated the side effects - lethargy, weight gain, sex dysfunction, etc

but yeah, i've learned that means adjusting my dose and/or rotating my meds

That's a different thing that you're talking about--you made that decision on the advice of a professional. I've seen people get talked/talk themselves off their meds before, often with horrible results.

I have had a bad week and I feel so weird right now.

maybe I should smoke a cigarette. I have some and I have been good about not getting back into the habit when I do smoke the occasional cig.

maybe you should put on some music and see how many jumping jacks you can do

That shivering, twitching thing described upthread happened to me once when I was coming down off LSD (no antidepressants involved). I searched it up but it wasn't 100% conclusive what it was. It was very, very unpleasant and I had read enough about serotonin syndrome to assume this was what I'd managed to do to myself, which made it much, much worse. I don't know if it was shivering or some kind of tremor. Terrible shit.

"I have had a bad week and I feel so weird right now."

Hugs,dude. How do you feel weird?

Stopped smoking the day I took my first pill (sipralexa). I was so nauseous, I couldn't do anything but lie down. It's been great so far. Decided I had to quit cause my husband was going to as well. I have been smoking off and on for the last seven years. I still don't consider myself a smoker weirdly. But I never do the occasional cigarette anymore, cause I know by the end of the month I'm doing almost a pack. I miss it but otoh I am happy to be an ex-smoker.

Anyway, decided after the advice here, to do some sports. Although I hate running, I think I'm gonna give it another try. Or at least do some major walking.

My mom's been asking how things are. For the first time in my life I have decided not to tell her anything. So nothing about the pills. I told her several times before I had anxiety attacks and felt depressed, but she never took it really serioulsy. So why make her worry now? She's too far away (in Japan) and can't do much.

is there a difference between which SSRIs are generally prescribed for men vs. women? For some reason, I think that Lexapro tends to be prescribed more often to men because it has less severe sexual side effects.

female lexapro taker here. i kinda hate it, but it's worked better than anything else i've tried. i think my doctor only put me on it because that's what the drug rep happened to be pushing that month.

did i say i *kinda* hate it? i really hate it. i hate the side effects (mostly weight gain) and i hate how shitty i feel when i have to be without it for even a few days. more generally, i hate dealing with doctors and insurers and pharmacists and the whole stupid circus every month when i need a refill or whatever.

*camera 2, close up* THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!

Welcome to the world of chronic illnesses. At least you don't have to go through dialysis or chemotherapy.

My parents are medicated for the first time in their lives and it's doing a world of good, afaik. My mom has had depression/social anxiety issues to an extent for most of her adult life and my dad is an anxiety addict who has some obsessive-type habits.

I went on celexa at the end of last year when I finally admitted I was at the end of my rope. Still going to get into talk therapy "at some point," which actually seems the truth now and not some sort of excuse. Basically, having the chemical balance shift at the same time I was making huge life changes made me a lot more confident so it was a partial red herring that made me put off completing the mental health puzzle.

I've been fucking things up a little the last few weeks because I've gone back to dating after a year hiatus and celexa can cause... hell, is it called anorgasmia in men? I think it's called "retarded ejaculation" or somesuch. So I've been staggering pills at 36 hour intervals and it's starting to catch up to me, especially since I've been drinking a bit more.

Pre-SSRIs, if I was a touch hungover I would get a thought or a song stuck in my head and lay awake at 4am after the alcohol cleared my system and be unable to fall asleep. This kicked in again the other day, although thankfully not until 8AM.

I believe retarded ejaculation is a normal orgasm where the semen is retained by the body.

nah, that's retrograde

Yes, that was the word I was trying to think of.

Feel better now. Fixed my car with the assistance of a friend last night, have an interview tomorrow, might have another one lined up. Much of the weekend was taken over by stress & anxiety & feeling-shittyness from the stupid engine trouble, and whether I would be able to afford to or just fix the car in time to motor the 40 mins out to the interview tomorrow.

turns out I was able to, and my buddy stopped by to help me fix a spark plug I couldn't reach, and everything worked.

that's a good feeling! for me - it's like the small incidents like that come to symbolize a larger threat, a feeling of never being able to win or have control, etc. I had a similar thing happen a few months back when I had a problem with my toilet (which my ex was the one to fix when we were together), and i managed to figure out how to fix it, and after that i felt a lot less anxious about my life, the break up, etc.

BTW, I left my IPod's charging cord at home today (I'm at work, watching my patient pretend to eat), so my posting will be sporadic until later on tonight.

Ha. That's why I wound up buying 3 cords. one for the house, one for the auto, one for the desk.

So I've been staggering pills at 36 hour intervals and it's starting to catch up to me, especially since I've been drinking a bit more.

the pills are timed to release every 24 hours. let's say you are taking 30 mg a day and you try to cut down to 20 mg a day by increasing the interval to 36 hours all you're really doing is getting your normal dose for 24 hrs and then going unmedicated for 12 hours. i'd check with your doctor, you would probably be much better off just getting a pill cutter or a lower dosage.

all you're really doing is getting your normal dose for 24 hrs and then going unmedicated for 12 hours

doesn't take into account serum levels

A pill cutter won't work with an extended release pill, though.

ok so you guys are seriously saying stretching out the interval is a better idea than taking a lower dose?

up to a point yeah

well, i mean, get down to the lowest practical dose first

ok so you guys are seriously saying stretching out the interval is a better idea than taking a lower dose?

I'm not saying that. I just looked it up in Medscape--its peak plasma level only lasts 2-4 hours.

wait are we still talking abt lexapro

No, we're talking about Celexa now.

oh. are almost the same thing tho, lexapro is just the active isomer of celexa. wikipedia sez the half-life is 35 hours, which i'd think would be more relevant than peak plasma concentration, particularly as if you've been taking it for any length of time you have a plasma level that should make the peaks and valleys not really a thing if yr taking it every 36 hours.

but it's been a while since i've been on ssri's so someone who is would know more abt the subjective effects.

but I'm gonna be having sex for that 12 hours so I'm not going to care, right?

(kidding)

dude my problem with too high of a dose was that it took 12 hours to finish

I'm on Wellbutrin, which *increases* sexual desire, at least in women. The thing I've noticed with it is that I feel a little less sensation during sex but stronger orgasms at the end. (And I can move myself much longer along the way just by mental imagery than I used to.)

oh. are almost the same thing tho, lexapro is just the active isomer of celexa. wikipedia sez the half-life is 35 hours, which i'd think would be more relevant than peak plasma concentration, particularly as if you've been taking it for any length of time you have a plasma level that should make the peaks and valleys not really a thing if yr taking it every 36 hours.

It depends on how narrow the therapeutic range is. (I'm on lithium, which has a very, very narrow range, so I'm probably a little more conscious of this than you all are.)

dude my problem with too high of a dose was that it took 12 hours to finish

this is pretty much what I was talking about upthread

cognitive therapy all the way man

ok so you guys are seriously saying stretching out the interval is a better idea than taking a lower dose?

These questions require a doctor.

I'm on Wellbutrin, which *increases* sexual desire, at least in women.

i remember a doctor telling me that when i tried it briefly! i, erm, didn't notice any difference.

It doesn't have that effect on everyone.

These questions require a doctor.

I'm the only one out of all of the medical personnel that post to ILX that's bothered to post to this thread. And I'm the least qualified out of all of them.

And that's really too bad.

so i was on 50mg of lexapro before and i went down to 30 a couple months ago b/c of side effects. yesterday my new doctor pushed me back up to 40. why yes, i'd love to spend labor day weekend adjusting to a dosage increase!

the good news is: welcome back to my arsenal, xanax! i've missed you so.

got prescribed lexapro in like october (of 09 holy fuck) and was still finishing that bottle as of june. ran out sometime in july. considering refilling? cause i mean...it's cheaper than whiskey every night. i know this feeling. the whole "i hate my job, what am i doing with my life, i will drink it away every single night and lose track of the days" thing. done it before, and i recognize its resurgence. would rather not.

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