Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

Capello half out - next boss to be an Englishman

Have any of these fuckers ever put together a coherent argument as to what the advantage is of having an English manager, or do their eyes just mist over and they start singing "Theme from Carling Black Label" and flexing their bulldog tattoos?

I kind of see the logic behind wanting the national team to be a reflection of the best players, manager and coaches that England has to offer, but that doesn't seem to be the reasoning behind this statement.

The FA always just bows to any kind of pressure, whatever it happens to be at the time in question. I doubt there's any kind of strategic thought going on, but if there is it'll be something like "hopefully this'll keep the redknapps off our backs for a while"

For some dudes running a business worth billions or something, they sure do spend a lot of time listening to what the gutter press tells them to do.

'To be honest, I watched in the first game and we got a free-kick just inside our half. John Terry knocked it long for Emile Heskey into the box and I was thinking: "You wouldn't have done that for Chelsea. You'd have passed that straight to Ashley Cole and just started playing again". Is it the fear? I don't know. I can't explain it, but that wouldn't have happened at Chelsea.

'As players, you obviously speak about this. I was sat on the bench with Michael Carrick watching the Germany game. And don't get me wrong, Germany were one of the best teams at the World Cup, but I was saying: "If Man United played them at Old Trafford you'd beat them 2-0". If Liverpool played Germany at Anfield, I think we'd beat them. Chelsea would beat them. If they were a Premier League team, they wouldn't win it.

Tactically, though, he concedes, England are lacking. 'I think it's the brain. I think they're cleverer than us'.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1303119/JAMIE-CARRAGHER-EXCLUSIVE-On-England-Capello-Liverpools-foreign-owners.html

Carra using the royal "us" there

Yet, what of the severity of the remote training camp in Rustenburg, where the players were restricted to the confines of a luxury hotel with only the occasional golf day and safari to amuse them?

'To be honest I don't get that,' adds Carragher. 'I mean, what do you expect from a World Cup? Are you expecting the fair every afternoon?'

Kudos on that tho.

Wow, that's really good!

some other player - ozil or a dutch fella or someone - also came out with a similar "HOW CAN U BE BORED AT THE FUCKING WORLD CUP" quote at the time iirc

That one line has pretty much given him a free pass from me until the next time he gets away with suplexing some guy on the edge of the box.

It's the image of Rooney moaning cos he hasn't got a balloon that makes it I think.

joe cole crying because he's dropped his twist behind the waltzer

John Barnes qualifed to play for England because he'd lived here for a certain amount of years right. So no different to Arteta really? Was there a shitstorm when Barnes was selected?

there were the england fans claiming england won 1-0 when they defeated brazil 2-0 and he scored...

tho that's cos they were racists whereas hating other europeans is perfectly alright

I'm not interested in rescinding the policy unless it's to allow Almunia to continue a fine tradition. Actually no, the qualifying period's only about five years, I'd *love* it if Capello were to troll the entire media and find an entire XI of these guys

Scotland gets first dibs on Arteta, right? Right?

always wondered about this (like if i become recognised suddenly as the genius football player that i am, will i get to choose whether to play for hong kong, england, scotland, northern ireland or wales? despite never have stepped foot in northern ireland???)

Yeah, you would. UK passport with no ties to any of the constituent parts means you can play for any of them.

Raises an interesting question about identity and all that. Unless I'm looking too deeply into this. Fair to say (if you regard the national team as a reflection of national identity/culture etc) that there's as many England fans that "identify" with Mikel Arteta as there are that "identify" with John Terry or Steven Gerrard? i.e. Arteta appears to be a sound guy who keeps out of trouble and is Spanish and therefore amazing at football and we're a tolerant, multi-cultural society etc etc.

i thought this was gonna about the back page of today's sun.

wouldn't agree with arteta 4 england personally.

*googles* - that is majestic, well done the Sun

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01112/capello-splash_1112586a.jpg

'arry was never interested in the job, he just wanted to adopt fab for the sanctuary

seriously tho i dont even get that the sun is saying - that even a donkey is smart enough not to pick an injured player?

"axes Carroll"? from what?

        Almunia
_______  ________  ______  _______
        Denilson   Arteta
_______      _______       _______
             _______

feel free to fill in blanks.

Also, is it possible to axe a player who you haven't called up?

xpost

you can have Nacho Novo in that squad if you like, we don't want him.

since when was capello a david lynch extra

it's hard, but we're getting towards a team I could get behind:

              almunia
hargreaves distin jagielka konchesky
malbranque denilson arteta n'zogbia
            ______ ______

I've had to put in a couple of ringers with suspicious foreign-sounding names while we wait for Cuellar and Kaboul to qualify. France claimed N'Zogbia only last week, but that was just a friendly so I think he's in at least until Aurelio notches up the five years. Strikers are a problem, but maybe Zamora and Defoe would do?

Do properly English players ever decide at age 30 or whatever that they're never going to be called up, and apply to play for N.I.? It seems like it should happen more.

Jamie Redknapp on punditry duty, obviously

Strikers are a problem, but maybe Zamora and Defoe would do?

― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 25 August 2010 19:50 (3 minutes ago)

not like the best uncapped strike partnership in the land didn't score FIVE GOALS last weekend amirite

dunno who you mean, but if they would annoy Wrighty they're in

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00798/kevin_nolan_798721c.jpg

sitting at home sharpening his shiv and crying into his tripe right now

Do properly English players ever decide at age 30 or whatever that they're never going to be called up, and apply to play for N.I.? It seems like it should happen more.

I don't think they can, can they? As far as I know, if you actually *are* British then you have to play for the country/ies that you qualify for (i.e. where you were born or where your parents are from or something similar). So I couldn't play for Wales because I have no connection with the place. I think it's just that if someone who isn't British lives and plays here long enough to be able to represent one of the countries then they could choose any of the four countries.

Also Channel Islanders.

xp. yeah i think that's correct. with the proviso that the FAs of the four countries have an agreement that players who gain british citizenship would not be picked for any of the national teams. players only being picked if they are eligible by bloodline.

that was the line during the recent "novo for scotland" debacle/pish/hun-press trolling.

Re: Arteta/John Barnes comparisons:

John Barnes may have been proud to wear the England jersey, but admits his citizenship was clearly Jamaican for at least part of his international playing career.

The former Watford, Liverpool, Newcastle and Charlton Athletic playmaker, said he could not recall exactly when he acquired a British passport, but revealed that during his early years with England's national team, starting as a teenager in 1983, he carried a Jamaican passport.

"At 19, I don't remember, I don't think I even became even a British citizen," said Barnes while in Jamaica recently to watch the Reggae Boyz beat Mexico and Honduras in World Cup qualifiers.

" ... For my first 18 months playing for England I had a Jamaican passport. I never had a British passport."

"So when we used to go to Russia, Czech Republic, I've got my England suit on, I have to go into a different queue than the England team," he recalled. "And the Russian man would look at this Jamaican passport, see me with an England thing and he would like keep me at the airport for two hours." The situation later changed, but Barnes is still not sure how.

"So as a matter of convenience, I got a British passport," he said. "I don't remember filling any forms in. I don't remember applying for a British passport. I just became (a British citizen) ... So maybe I played (for England) illegally, right? So, that's how I played for England."

"I wanna play in the World Cup," Barnes said, "but I'm 18, a little black boy from Jamaica. So I can play for England or I can play for Jamaica. But also, as it turned out, I could play for England, Ireland, Scotland or Wales. I never signed anything, but I could play for any of the British teams ...

"So as stupid as it seems, the only reason I played for England was because they were the first to ask. They were the biggest and the best country, but if Scotland had asked me first I wouldn't have thought I would be good enough to play for England. You go and play for Scotland."

There's a whole separate thing for citizens of Commonwealth countries though, isn't there? (is that how Owen Hargreaves gets in?)

That used to be the case, but i don't know about that anymore. Hargreaves has English / Welsh parentage I think?

Wasn't sure about Hargreaves, tbh, but I'm guessing that's how Barnes managed it? Or else he's just making stuff up/not knowing what he's talking about.

Interview with a Jamaican journalist, so maybe he was playing up his roots, man

Barnes basically just started playing for England and no-one questioned it. He was ineligible under any of the criteria - residency stuff (Arteta, Novo, etc) was introduced much later.

(citations needed, I know, but I've seen Barnes saying as much in interviews)

"But also, as it turned out, I could play for England, Ireland, Scotland or Wales."

^this is only after he got citizenship, by which time he was already and England internationalist.

I think I'm havering about Commonwealth countries, btw, I seem to be conflating this with work permit rules to play in the UK, which I've been reading up on recently.

He never really sounded very Jamaican - posh boy, son of an army colonel - so that prob'ly made it easier for him to be accepted as English. Arteta sounds pretty Spanish to me.

Unbeaten in 11 matches as Jamaica manager with 7 wins and 4 draws and picked up the Caribbean Cup yet still had a lower win %age than at Celtic where he was universally acknowledged as being shit.

Commonwealth and Irelanders aren't foreigners as such (get to vote in our elections for example) so i expect it's easier for them to get citizenship-type things done too.