Pitchfork Reviews Reviews

perpetua said: All the activities you do, I sometimes wonder if you’re starring in some kind of reality show that will air sometime early next year.

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/events/readings/refresh-refresh-refresh-happy-ending

someone who lives near this thing needs to go & report back

also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New
also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New
also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New
also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New
also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New
also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New
also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New
also this review is smug too but not Smuggest New

i passed a man wearing a shirt that said LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD WINE and that’s how i feel except replace “bad wine” with “smug pitchfork reviews”
i passed a man wearing a shirt that said LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD WINE and that’s how i feel except replace “bad wine” with “smug pitchfork reviews”
i passed a man wearing a shirt that said LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD WINE and that’s how i feel except replace “bad wine” with “smug pitchfork reviews”
i passed a man wearing a shirt that said LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD WINE and that’s how i feel except replace “bad wine” with “smug pitchfork reviews”i passed a man wearing a shirt that said LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD WINE and that’s how i feel except replace “bad wine” with “smug pitchfork reviews”

i will pour a little out for dude when i am smugly drinking whatever the payment for that review affords.

this guy is functionally retarded

wife went to that reading (a pal was also on the line-up), said dude was "really earnest"

i'm shocked, just shocked!

my dad used to have a "LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD WINE" t-shirt

what i don't get is that i took a big steaming dump on zero 7 the other day and dude flipped in the good way. yet i get a throw a little lazy snark at isis and life's too short?

oh god i've fallen down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out the p.r.r. guy.

it's very easy to figure out

1. take someone incredibly stupid, or someone who can accurately portray someone incredibly stupid
2. give him a blog
3. PROFIT

It's not "purely" earnest any more. Like, he's in his Neon Bible phase.

― scott pgwp (pgwp), Saturday, August 7, 2010 10:24 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark

http://s3.amazonaws.com/files.posterous.com/killermelons/pyoCcT4ZPl0HgDRPCJw5OVbgyxZ204WhsM6pYLivi0DOiD5fFx2BoQ3DgKm5/image001.png?AWSAccessKeyId=1C9REJR1EMRZ83Q7QRG2&Expires=1282085572&Signature=vTPxjvglw7ZL0FImuxymCQc%2BKzs%3D

oh for days of the dot.com boom...

okay so when i was in high school i was visiting family friends in california with my mom and they had a home video of me from when i was like six years old and i was at the zoo, and i am walking around on a leash with a little harness around my torso, i guess because i am an only child and my parents didn’t really have experience dealing with kids and i was in the habit of talking to strangers and my parents needed to keep me close in public so i wouldn’t get kidnapped

^solitary posts that effortlessly summarize the spirit of pitchfork reviews reviews

i guess because i am an only child and my parents didn’t really have experience dealing with kids and i was in the habit of talking to strangers and my parents needed to keep me close in public so i wouldn’t get kidnapped

my mom still does this with me.

i'm 42.

haaaaa

http://ripfork.com/2010/08/jess-harvells-review-of-isismelvins-split-by-isis-and-the-melvins/

i almost don't want anyone to tell this guy i'm not a chick. also there are a couple sentences in there that i could REALLY use some help in parsing.

i don't understand that post or why these people are acting like you're the first guy to call isis boring.

whenever i read that ripfork site, especially the grammar grammar critiques and the stuff where this guy unashamedly complains about writers using "big" words unfamiliar to him, i can't help but think of that line from dfw's updike takedown about how it "ends up being embarrassing in the special way something pretentious is embarrassing when it's also wrong."

then mike introduced me to one of the male DJs, he was wearing a purple sparkly American Apparel backpack, and i asked him if i could ask him some questions for my blog and he said yes and i say “what music do you listen to when you’re sad?” and he instantly said “morrissey” and elizabeth whispered “obvious” to me because it was her question and i think she was looking for a less predictable answer. i asked what kind of drugs he did and he said “i’ve never done drugs” and smirked, and then he was like “actually, i do b12!” and he takes a little bottle of b12 out of his backpack and draws some liquid from the bottle with an eyedropper that was attached to the cap and squirts it into his mouth

then i asked him what the going rate was to hire the MisShapes for a night and he said he didn’t talk about money and i said “god, no drugs, no money, you guys are lame” and he laughed and i go, “what’s the craziest night of your life?” and he thought about it for a second and then said “it was this new year’s eve i guess?…” and he pauses and goes, “okay actually i’m lying, i DO do drugs, on new years i ate some quackabees and then took a nice little tour of the city and didn’t get back until the morning.” i don’t know what quackabees are or if i even heard him correctly but i didn’t wanna ask him for clarification on drug slang and look like a herb so i just assumed it was some long-lasting stimulant and kept my mouth shut. then i thanked him and went to try to track down the hors d’oeuvres

Leaving aside their respective turn of phrase, I think what the Ripfork guy does with his time is (not really even being flippant here) more indicative of actual mental instability than the PRR kid - in that he composes long, detailed, regular takedowns of people working in a medium that he appears to have no interest in at all

i'd say the problem is just the opposite: he's got FAR too much interest in it.

#2 by Dave Ohno on August 18, 2010 - 10:59 am

I went to Sunday School with Jessica – I think she matriculated at UM – College Park, but that’s the last I heard from her. Do you know how I can get in touch?

^lawl

okay actual lolz.

xp yeah in a sense but he actually seems to be disgusted that there is such a thing as music journalism, and chooses to express this through long, detailed etc etc... I'm not a believer in the 'no such thing as bad publicity' canard but he spends a thousand words zinging, like, writers from Drowned in Sound on about their fourth review :/

well wasn't he kicking around the ass-end of online music sites for a while and then decided to stick it to the man? i'm not trying to be all "lol u failed and now u mad" but uh...seems pretty obvious.

i'd say the problem is just the opposite: he's got FAR too much interest in it.

― strongohulkingtonsghost, Wednesday, August 18, 2010 11:01 AM

^^^ 100% otm

"lol u failed and now u mad" <-- should more or less be that sites tagline

xp (again) that's why he strikes me as basically a headcase - you got some stuff printed online, decided that the whole gig was a bit boring and silly, no problem w/ that - why then spend hours and HOURS picking apart ppl half of whom are barely higher up the ladder than you were? Wait don't tell me I know this one

see, thats the thing. with prr, you can chalk it all up to youthful enthusiasm, and its all good pretty much, even if the kid does go overboard at times. plus, his writing can be interesting, so theres that. with ripfork, which i dont read, the dude just comes off as kinda off, and the entire raison detre for his site is just 'lol music critics'

failed music writer jealous of working music writers, some of whom are working for highly visible, reputable publications

basically a headcase - you got some stuff printed online, decided that the whole gig was a bit boring and silly, no problem w/ that - why then spend hours and HOURS picking apart ppl half of whom are barely higher up the ladder than you were?

hey some of our best posters resemble this remark

gotta get my hands on some quackabees

then he was like “actually, i do b12!” and he takes a little bottle of b12 out of his backpack and draws some liquid from the bottle with an eyedropper that was attached to the cap and squirts it into his mouth

i am really loving imagining this moment, the announcement followed by the totally wordless ritual which everyone stands and watches in awe

when oh when is predictfork gonna drop?

OK DUDE'S, WHAT THE

http://www.pitchforkreviewsreviews.com/post/1043570259/getting-my-lil-wayne-tattoo

I just skimmed that, but . . .

can someone read that whole thing & tell me if that's really his tattoo, 'cause I think it is

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l815kdFZYO1qb52lo.jpg

Shut the fuck up you retards.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RETARDS

*REVS MOTORCYCLE*

kind of lol but mostly sad

like yesterday i was walking past Ground Zero and i have been watching the building there rise as it is being built because i work near it, and Wayne says on that same song i just quoted, “switchin up my flows like a nigga do construction” and i never understood it after 3 years of listening and like 400 itunes plays but then as i was walking past Ground Zero i realized he is saying flows and also floors with a southern accent, like a construction worker builds the floors of a building!!

Ott clearly wishes he could write like this.

ott has a point tbh

He does?

theres a wry ott goin on

― ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Wednesday, March 1, 2006