Craigslist hilarity

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can I just say that pouring out this much invective towards w in a m4w ad is either incredibly funny or the most pathetic thing ever, or possibly both

Mayor Hickenlooper and the liberal agenda (HI DERE), Thursday, 5 August 2010 19:46 (thirteen years ago) link

better they get their sexual repression aggression out on craigslist, i guess

why does he keep calling these girls "bud"?

โ€• ('_') (omar little), Thursday, August 5, 2010 2:44 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark

i find this the most insulating component of his rant tbh

Regarding all my exs are psychos even the straight forward chick dude:

...you're the f*cking devil incarnate. Not only are you predictable,...

pretty sure devil would be seriously insulted by this which = bigger problems than karma 4 U. Also coming off a little mel gibsonesque. Just sayin'.

Lastly, crazy no drink buying guy story is fatally flawed from the opening cast credits:
You: Cute girl at the bar
Me: The guy you chatted with while waiting for our drinks

why would she ask him to buy her a drink when she already had one coming. Also, makes me think all of this drama unfolded in his head over the period of time it takes a bartender to make two drinks.

sunny successor, Monday, 9 August 2010 22:55 (thirteen years ago) link

oh, so that's where deeznuts went

people are for loving (HI DERE), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:23 (thirteen years ago) link

"everyone knows you're a slut"

Tolaca Luke (admrl), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:30 (thirteen years ago) link

"EVERY night is ladies night"

Tolaca Luke (admrl), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:32 (thirteen years ago) link

trader joes silverlake tonight - m4w - 34

circa 8pm tonight you were wearing black yoga pants and caught my eye several times but as you were hitting the check out line we locked eyes
i was in the plaid cowboy shirt

i was with my girlfriend but would love to meet up anyway

('_') (omar little), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:36 (thirteen years ago) link

UGH trader joes silverlake is so rapey

Tolaca Luke (admrl), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:37 (thirteen years ago) link

at a trader joes at 8 pm in black yoga pants could be, like, millions of women

horseshoe, Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:38 (thirteen years ago) link

i am really hoping dude's gf spots that one though "plaid cowboy shirt" doesn't narrow it down too much either

('_') (omar little), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:41 (thirteen years ago) link

i guess he is casting as wide a net as possible

horseshoe, Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:41 (thirteen years ago) link

trader joe's and whole foods are filled with dudes attempting to create missed connection scenarios.

('_') (omar little), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:42 (thirteen years ago) link

This is why I go to Super King in Glassell Park. Just me and the Armenian housewives.

Tolaca Luke (admrl), Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:43 (thirteen years ago) link

otmmmm xpost

proprietor of gib (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 03:38 (thirteen years ago) link

trader joe's and whole foods are filled with dudes attempting to create missed connection scenarios.

I go there with my 4-year-old and am constantly saying "come here, sweetie," only to have four or five women turn their heads my way

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 04:16 (thirteen years ago) link

jeez where do you live where so many women are named sweetie

max, Wednesday, 11 August 2010 04:28 (thirteen years ago) link

c1925 is my guess

sunny successor, Wednesday, 11 August 2010 04:40 (thirteen years ago) link

Can we C&P craigslist entries for when the links die?

jabulani hands (S-), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 04:52 (thirteen years ago) link

I second that emotion.

next person tries to teach me about JOY IN LIFE gets a tubgirl in return (Jesse), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 16:21 (thirteen years ago) link

or maybe you can just GET. ON. THE. FUCKING. BALL.

god

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 16:22 (thirteen years ago) link

posted in the inception thread originally
http://img.skitch.com/20100811-c22mfmadcm9yt91y6b16u38ymf.jpg

cozen, Wednesday, 11 August 2010 16:22 (thirteen years ago) link

It's interesting that this is in w4m.

next person tries to teach me about JOY IN LIFE gets a tubgirl in return (Jesse), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 16:26 (thirteen years ago) link

or maybe you can just GET. ON. THE. FUCKING. BALL.

god

โ€• congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, August 11, 2010 11:22 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

you talk like a dad now

sunny successor, Wednesday, 11 August 2010 19:12 (thirteen years ago) link

haha

horseshoe, Wednesday, 11 August 2010 19:14 (thirteen years ago) link

LOL

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 19:18 (thirteen years ago) link

Ok, so I'm a young minded and looking 42 year old song writer/singer/guitarist who wants to build a band surrounding my own material. Maybe a few covers here and there, for fun, but mainly focused on originals. I have written quite a few songs...some never quite finished, others are...some just need finishing touches, etc. I want to try something different. I'd like to keep it simple...let you listen to what I've written, decide if you like it, and maybe add a bass and possibly another guitarist later on. I'm highly experimental and have a bit of a sloppy style. I tend to play heavy metallic riffs and bluesy leads. I love eerie sounding progressions that kind of bite your soul. I'm a bit rusty, but I can and do rock. It would be cool if you sing, too! I'd absolutely love female backup and vice versa. If you play other instruments and write your own songs, that's an added plus! I'm open to helpful creativity, for sure.
I was watching the White Stripes on HBO and thought to myself, "That's kind of my style. Maybe I should find a female drummer and see what it adds to my sound?" If you can keep a beat and you can hear the talent in my original songs, then we'll go from there. You don't have to be any musical genius or anything. I used to have a non-pro three piece power blues/metal band together down south. It was just me, a rhythm guitarist, and a drummer. We never found a bassist, and they were never quite as serious about the music as I am. Our drummer definitely had different tastes in music. I had to leave due to legal problems just when we started getting pretty damn good. They basically kicked me out of the state! LOL I really miss jamming now. I fear I'll go insane if I don't start playing again. I need to channel this energy back into my music and I want to start with a new feeling and a bit of a female touch.
I'm not really looking for romance. I'm kind of fed up with love right now. The music is more important to me, although if we do happen to find a unique connection that would be interesting too. I've always thought it would be cool to share a musical passion with someone who is also my muse, so to speak. If you have a place to jam, that would make it a lot easier, since it's a PITA to move drums around all the time and my house is not always available for jamming. I'm currently staying with relatives. We may be able to jam here occasionally, but probably not extremely often. I am also looking for a roommate and my own place. Life is rather complicated right now, but I have a lot of free time. My life needs a change. Want to be part of it? If we get tight, we'd definitely be working toward gigs. I don't really want to stay in this cold place forever. Yeah, I know...it's not cold now, but if you blink, you might miss the nice weather! ; )

All 10 songs permeate the organs (Dan Peterson), Thursday, 12 August 2010 16:47 (thirteen years ago) link

On the fence about whether that is 4 real. What city is this?

The world's leaders on pills (admrl), Thursday, 12 August 2010 16:48 (thirteen years ago) link

Minneapolis. I love how it veers suddenly into "I'm not really looking for romance..."

All 10 songs permeate the organs (Dan Peterson), Thursday, 12 August 2010 16:54 (thirteen years ago) link

oh man that is kind of heartbreaking

goole, Thursday, 12 August 2010 16:58 (thirteen years ago) link

On the real, straight up, listen up Ladies; (South Bay cities/310, Cali)

My website: w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

I do not do, nor deal with 3rd party pay websites, which in fact, my website is not a pay site. And, on the real . . . please. Ironic people keep on spamming, putting other's ad's on auto - sender's, not being on the real, this, that, hence what, humanity? guy's/men hiding behind computers as women, like wolves in sheep's clothing, etc. sigh . . .

Why's thing's like mere sincere friendship with the opposite sex, be it, female, seem like harder to attain, and be without contamination with a secret agenda, like sex, selfish - (?), (i.e.: friendship with benefit's), or, those of some men that get a great girl, but don't exhibit to know what they have, hurt the girl or cause themselves to lose her and/or what they may have had, be it, (thing's were great, misc., then the guy started screwing up). I mean, who doesn't already know that 'life is short', moment's (are suppose to be) worth cherishing, sigh . . . and even though God's Word says it's gonna get worse before it gets better, some people seem to go on clueless as to somehow self destroy; I mean, Arnold said in the movie, T2, (It's in your nature to destroy yourselves). Why do we as humanity prove that to be true? w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

It just seems that humanity for as long as I've been on this rock, humanity seems to keep justifying 'judgment day', as everything is recording where Father is, and still some people continue to smoke other's while other's are getting smoked, even careless, endless death's due to either someone driving too fast, further due to drinking and driving or otherwise, and still other's, back to my original thought, other's not knowing what they have, be it a great girl to hold, love and cherish, hurting her (physically, emotionally, or otherwise); sure, I've seen some women sitting on the curb, crying their eyes out from time to time in my life, but continued walking on by, it just being another one of my observation's of humanity during my time among humanity on this rock. w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

And because I'm among humanity, I'm no different than other people, I'm as human as the next person, but my observation's seem to plague me in sadness as well as self-dislike of being down here, thus, of course, yeah, sure, I'd love to be back, as a non-individual, inside and a part of Father, whom dispensed me forward, out of Himself, just like He's done with every other Soul. And sure, JC/Father doesn't give us more than we can handle, and knows us (individually) more than we know, but that feeling, that feeling inside of us, where ya just feel the overall, overwhelming feeling of sadness, like to see and hear what Father sees and hears but for a mere moment, we'd be so totally blown away, it'd leave us speechless, but I remember (for myself), to never question the Father ever, to accept, and to try and bring alittle peace and love to another , playing a (honest, truthful, sincere, etc.) part in another's life, (i.e.: a female friendship where both are free to be themselves, where the (right knowing moral's) or trust and respect are exhibited, because I was (One) of those whom had, but lost due to not knowing what I had, no shame, but being human, I chose to learn, grow and mature from. w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

Do I want a woman I can learn to love (again), to hold and cherish, not with marriage or children, but with just her and I thus, an experience where each are able to grow and learn from each other and grow together in love, peace and live our life in that, we are not depended on each other, that we depend on our self, but that our relationship, friendship, bond, of any kind, is (complementary), not anything else. I love WOMAN. I weep though for humanity in general as well as myself that Father created something beyond our imagination so beautiful, and we as a humanity seemed to, throughout the age's unto each other, have just mucked it all up, so no wonder love among our humanity may be over rated or abused, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Where is the love? - some popular song I've heard on the radio, as well as some other's I like. w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

The sign's are all around us (i.e.: in music lyrics, film, life), who's to say that we as humanity are so clueless that we have no idea how much Father may be using for the better of us those thing's that are so much around us, that we use to entertain us, communicate, etc. (i.e.: music, film, etc.) to open our eyes to not only each other, but as well as Him, and He who designed all life for us to enjoy, but we just go on (i.e.: next party, next drink, next sex mate, next (?) I'm not gonna judge other's but I can speak for myself, that, sure, maybe I have played it safe for year's by staying alone, regardless of how many extremely gorgeous women there are in Los Angeles alone, I can't bring myself to exhibiting like some of those of my gender that hurt and destroy so much of what Father utterly wanted us to enjoy and appreciate, but in essence, honor Him, by treating those thing's we all take for granted, with the due respect, etc, regardless of what or how some other person may treat us. w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

Call me 'old school', call me a fool, call me what ya will, but I will continue living, I will continue seeking a female whom I can share my heart with, and I will continue learning and growing to the best of my ability as much as Father allows. Sure, I may not read Father's Word nearly as much as I should, but Father knows my heart, and personally knows I just wanna be close to a woman that I can learn to love, respect, cherish, and support but without a woman taking my 'kindness for weakness', and abusing that which should be appreciated. I mean isn't there enough stupidity, psychoticism, and hating, to say the least among humanity? Geez . . . I am so freaking sure. To have some front it with 'It's like that', is just crap and so Lucifer - like nature? Sigh . . . Father wants us all to be happy, but not at the expense of some of humanity hurting, etc. others to attain that happiness, 'kno' what I'm saying'? I mean, on the real. But sure, some of humanity will read all this, and laugh, wanna smoke me, say this and/or that, but ya know what, I really don't freaking care anymore. w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

Father's giving me the gift of music via iTunes or elsewhere, and the beautiful sight, of my non - human baby, Lake Hollywood, and if I end up remaining alone 'til' the end of my day's, so be it. If love comes forth from a desirable female I, want to be with, then fine, that's cool too. Maybe that why I like, what I call the Faith (actress Eliza Dushku) Psychological and Personality Profile, or why my upbringing was alittle like that of the movie, The Outsiders, or even why I still today like the movie, Young Guns - the first film. Maybe I feel my search to inner happiness is in Cunnilingus (more about her than I), maybe it's in my music, maybe it's in the beauty of a woman's smile, eyes, laugh, I don't know; I'm down here just like everyone else, trying to live in peace and happiness. Well, guess I've bored humanity enough with my (?), wish everyone much love and happiness in your life. Ya know what I think I adore the most, it that love, hug, care, support, misc women share with each other; loving Angel's. Take care. w✧✧.jeffr✧✧✧@vidm0r✧✧✧.c✧✧

('_') (omar little), Thursday, 12 August 2010 16:58 (thirteen years ago) link

That reads like it was run thru Babelfish!

All 10 songs permeate the organs (Dan Peterson), Thursday, 12 August 2010 17:00 (thirteen years ago) link

the beautiful sight, of my non - human baby
Maybe I feel my search to inner happiness is in Cunnilingus

lolol

peacocks, Thursday, 12 August 2010 17:15 (thirteen years ago) link

Why's thing's like mere sincere friendship with the opposite sex, be it, female, seem like harder to attain, and be without contamination with a secret agenda, like sex, selfish - (?), (i.e.: friendship with benefit's)

Maybe I feel my search to inner happiness is in Cunnilingus (more about her than I)

('_') (omar little), Thursday, 12 August 2010 18:32 (thirteen years ago) link

I mean, Arnold said in the movie, T2, (It's in your nature to destroy yourselves).

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 12 August 2010 20:23 (thirteen years ago) link

That guy's been posting long rambling screeds on craigslist for years, either asking for women or work. One of his pictures of himself looks like Lux Interior (or maybe it is Lux), and his ideal woman is Eliza Dushku in her Faith character.

nickn, Thursday, 12 August 2010 20:33 (thirteen years ago) link

girl driving a honda and sucking on a lollipop - m4w (torrance)

yesterday (wednesday) night around 10.45 pm you were driving a dark honda on Torrance blvd. I think you were from Alabama.

You were playing with a lollipop and the circles you were doing with your tongue, as well as the way your lips sucked on your lollipop were very, I mean VERY inspiring

you are a very cute young blonde or light brunette...

Funny fact is that my nickname is lollipop and I would loooove to let you play the same way with me....
I wonder if Alabama grils have a special talent for that.....

('_') (omar little), Thursday, 12 August 2010 21:28 (thirteen years ago) link

mmm yes I wonder.....

stop staring at my daughter (slight return) (admrl), Thursday, 12 August 2010 21:29 (thirteen years ago) link

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/tlg/1893560318.html

I have no words for this.

รด_o (Nicole), Friday, 13 August 2010 02:54 (thirteen years ago) link

I feel disappointed about the relative relevance of her sexual orientation. These things are never sexy to read.

fear mongrels (Abbott), Friday, 13 August 2010 04:44 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm c/p'ing for future generations' sake

Be the Edward to my Bella (Dallas)
Date: 2010-08-11, 4:10PM CDT
Reply to: gigs-6wpak-1893560✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧ [Errors when replying to ads?]

My aunt just died and left me some cash with instructions to blow it however I want. Not into drugs. Fucking LOVE Twilight. Also, a lesbian. It's relevant, I swear.

I'm sure this ad will get me some creepers, but it might be worth it.

I will pay you $50 an hour to act like Edward for me. My schedule is flexible, and it would only be a few hours a week. I do NOT want any sex or kissing, but some platonic cuddling would be nice. You need to physically resemble Edward to some degree. You need to put on some sort of sparkly stuff on your face before hand. I'll ask you to hold ice for a while (not a dangerous while) so that when you touch me your hands are cold.

I'm going to be clumsy, and you're going to stare at me and tell me how awesome I am and treat me amazingly. If you can quote the book/act out small scenes with me I'll even pay you more.

I know this is stupid, but this book is the first time I've understood being attracted to any guy, and I want to play with it. Reminder: this is NOT SEXUAL. It's an emotional itch that I can now afford to scratch.

Please send me a picture to confirm that you somewhat resemble Edward (hair length/color, skin color, build of body are most important). If you wear glasses you'll need to be able to function without them. I'm willing to buy you the right outfits so don't worry about clothes.

Serious replies only.

* Location: Dallas
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $50 per hour

next person tries to teach me about JOY IN LIFE gets a tubgirl in return (Jesse), Friday, 13 August 2010 04:45 (thirteen years ago) link

I feel really bad for people who get their emotional jollies from imaginging themselves into Twilight/Supernatural/Harry Potter/House/WTF ever, the way a scary number of people seem to :(

Mr Bungleow (Trayce), Friday, 13 August 2010 05:23 (thirteen years ago) link

I mean its one thing to read and enjoy and think about a great set of books or a tv show, but its something else to let it take over everything you do and think about.

Mr Bungleow (Trayce), Friday, 13 August 2010 05:24 (thirteen years ago) link

It's harder the more obscure it gets โ€“ I have long had fantasies about being Pamela of Pamela, Or Virtue Rewarded. I even have a petticoat into which I have sewn a bunch of very long, very boring letters to my parents, and I would love to wear it while a man pretending to be "Mr B." jumps out of a closet while wearing women's clothing and attempts to rape me for the 435th time. But for some reason I can't find a guy open minded enough to participate.

fear mongrels (Abbott), Friday, 13 August 2010 05:38 (thirteen years ago) link

(not really)

fear mongrels (Abbott), Friday, 13 August 2010 05:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Hahahah <3

Mr Bungleow (Trayce), Friday, 13 August 2010 05:46 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh Abbott, I <3 you so much.

Wonder if I could hire some pointy nosed floppy young man to be unwashed and twiddle oscillators for me.

(must provide own oscillators.)

ALTERN K8 (Masonic Boom), Friday, 13 August 2010 09:13 (thirteen years ago) link

how d'you titillate an ocelot etc

"It's far from 'loi' you were reared, boy" (darraghmac), Friday, 13 August 2010 09:38 (thirteen years ago) link

twitterpate an ostrogoth

a CRASBO is a "criminally related" ASBO (contenderizer), Friday, 13 August 2010 10:19 (thirteen years ago) link

no, dont!

proprietor of gib (roxymuzak), Saturday, 14 August 2010 20:52 (thirteen years ago) link

casting the net wide

Cute Amoeba music cashier girl - m4w - 26 (Hollywood)

You checked me out, thought we had something a spark maybe, if so, tell me what type of shirt I was wearing and or the two cds I bought.

('_') (omar little), Thursday, 26 August 2010 14:33 (thirteen years ago) link


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