OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (8942 of them)

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (twelve years ago) link

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (twelve years ago) link

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (twelve years ago) link

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (twelve years ago) link

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (twelve years ago) link

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (twelve years ago) link

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (twelve years ago) link

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (twelve years ago) link

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (twelve years ago) link

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (twelve years ago) link

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (twelve years ago) link

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (twelve years ago) link

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (twelve years ago) link

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (twelve years ago) link

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (twelve years ago) link

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (twelve years ago) link

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (twelve years ago) link

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (twelve years ago) link

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (twelve years ago) link

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (twelve years ago) link

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (twelve years ago) link

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (twelve years ago) link

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (twelve years ago) link

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (twelve years ago) link

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (twelve years ago) link

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (twelve years ago) link

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (twelve years ago) link

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (twelve years ago) link

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (twelve years ago) link

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (twelve years ago) link

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (twelve years ago) link

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (twelve years ago) link

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:39 (twelve years ago) link

keep in mind this kid was like 8 when Kurdt committed suicide and has probably been bombarded by Nirvana mythologies since he started showing an interest in altrock

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:40 (twelve years ago) link

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Heh, this is a great idea. Yeah gotta say though, opinion pieces like this are ten a penny in this strange little further education world

DJ Mencap, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:41 (twelve years ago) link

there is thou a difference between "analyse and discuss" and "attack and dismiss"

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:42 (twelve years ago) link

Maybe in the real world, but on ILM?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:43 (twelve years ago) link

I'm still not sure when Cobain was adopted as an indie icon, tbh. When I was a teen, Melody Maker was still all "lol miserable junkie loved by them Kerrang oafs" about him.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:44 (twelve years ago) link

I disagree that student writing is exempt from criticism. One's worldview may not be fully formed by the age of 20, but a journalistic voice should be.

Plus, this is just too awful to leave it alone. A phrase like "There has been a movement against corporate music, labels and magazines, which is thankfully disappearing, probably ever since Bob Dylan's move from acoustic to electric" is a jaw-dropper in any context.

Erroneous Botch, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (twelve years ago) link

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

This, totally; what kind of culture are we propagating where these attitudes develop? Why does this guy think this? He's in a band, he's at university, he'd self-identify as 'loving music', he obviously has journalistic ambitions at the same time, and he writes this? Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (twelve years ago) link

young aspiring music journalists should go to ILM training camp

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:48 (twelve years ago) link

more liek:

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0001Y9YAW.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:52 (twelve years ago) link

Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

most of them are, most of them always have, some of them get better as they, you know, grow up - i'm not denying that it's awful writing but i guess the question for me is, do you not feel your life ebbing away from you with every second you spend contemplating this rote and in no way unusual piece of student hackery? do you have this much spare time?? at this point i'mma take my own advice and exit thread stage left.

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:53 (twelve years ago) link

My

We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Thursday, 28 March 2019 17:24 (three months ago) link

so you’re saying he made your calves cramp?

recreational colonoscopies 4 u (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 March 2019 19:25 (three months ago) link

can't believe the editor unearthed one of beto's since-now-undiscovered textfiles before the textfiles guy did

like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Thursday, 28 March 2019 21:16 (three months ago) link

Beto won't win the election but everyone who sees him speak will run for President in the future.

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, 28 March 2019 22:24 (three months ago) link

Fugazi capitalism would be inclusive, consumer-friendly and ethical.

http://i63.tinypic.com/bim98z.jpg

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 28 March 2019 23:32 (three months ago) link

My neighborhood 7-11 is upstairs from Dischord btw

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 29 March 2019 16:33 (three months ago) link

Ftr I could find no entry for Fugazi in the RIAA's gold and platinum database.

All along there is the sound of feedback (Sund4r), Friday, 29 March 2019 16:44 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

In that respect, Tame Impala did more than enough to fill that void by drenching the crowd with their LSD-drenched visuals and even a little more crowd work than usual. (During one of their final songs, Parker crept onto the festival’s projectors with five eyeballs.)

sounds trippy

Frozen CD, Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:37 (three months ago) link

read that three times, still can't parse

where have all the editors gone?

Paul Ponzi, Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:42 (three months ago) link

so the projector had ... or wait, Parker had.... hang on now

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 14 April 2019 23:00 (three months ago) link

Team Drench

get your hand outta my pocket universe (morrisp), Sunday, 14 April 2019 23:08 (three months ago) link

I drenched my body with flavor drenched gatorade because I was working my body more than usual.

Evan, Monday, 15 April 2019 00:45 (three months ago) link

got me a movie oh ho ho ho
crept on five eyeballs oh ho ho ho

also whut

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 15 April 2019 03:02 (three months ago) link

editors the profession are pretty much like editors the band, they're still around but nobody gives a shit about them

Jaki Liebowitz (rushomancy), Monday, 15 April 2019 12:55 (three months ago) link

The editor is dead, long live the involuntary poet!

pomenitul, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:03 (three months ago) link

editors the profession are pretty much like editors the band, they're still around but nobody gives a shit about them

― Jaki Liebowitz (rushomancy), Monday, April 15, 2019 1:55 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hm

mark s, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:05 (three months ago) link

"crowd work"

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:07 (three months ago) link

If this exercise in space-filling were printed in a college newspaper, I wouldn’t pick on it, but it’s in the L.A. Times:

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/la-et-ms-coachella-1975-rock-dead-20190420-story.html

get your hand outta my pocket universe (morrisp), Sunday, 21 April 2019 04:10 (three months ago) link

can we start one of these for weed writing

What name evokes so much? That of a world leader, a humanitarian or Nobel laureate? That of a sports legend, inventor, philanthropist or explorer? No. Once thought to be the most simple and humble of plants, it's now believed to be the most complex in Mother Nature’s entire garden. In existence since pre-biblical times, its cross-continent voyage began in Asia thousands of years ago, when a Chinese emperor discovered and unleashed its healing powers. Whether you use the Latin name of science, "cannabis," the U.S. government-imposed name, "mari(h)juana" or the 100-plus slang terms, its scope, breadth and reach is profound.

maura, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:37 (two months ago) link

whoa i never knew cannabis was latin for science

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:45 (two months ago) link

so much evoking

mookieproof, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:49 (two months ago) link

It is Mother Nature’s Steve Jobs; celestially conceived to meet our bodies' built-in demand.

jmm, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:59 (two months ago) link

can we start one of these for weed writing

I feel like "Vichy LA Weekly hires" is a separate category all of its own

blokes you can't rust (sic), Thursday, 25 April 2019 12:35 (two months ago) link

The cannabis industry has its own "F" word. Instead of the letter "F," the letter is "H," and the word is "high."

mick signals, Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:05 (two months ago) link

Loving that LA Times piece

Friday’s set offered a mix-and-match roll of contemporary rock varietals. Lemony new wave. Cherry-flavored ballads. Pineapple pop songs. Lime rockers.

Yum!

One Eye Open, Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:14 (two months ago) link

what the flying high?

Evan, Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:15 (two months ago) link

who the hell thinks cannabis is a simple, humble plant?

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:23 (two months ago) link

two months pass...

This feature reads like it was begrudgingly written as a favor to someone:

In Carly Rose’s knockout of a debut single, this sly young pop singer describes her burning desire to disappear with somebody from an overcrowded gathering.

“I don’t want to dance, so just finish your Bacardi,” she moans over the creeping, bottom-heavy groove of “Birds & Bees,” which came out last month and quickly racked up nearly a quarter-million streams on Spotify and YouTube. And just before she rhymes "party" with the name-brand rum, she drops an unprintable modifier — two syllables, starts with F — to show how serious she is about leaving.

(.....)

stan by me (morrisp), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:20 (two weeks ago) link

An unprintable modifier, you guys! Pop music is sure crazy these days, lol

stan by me (morrisp), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:21 (two weeks ago) link

I too am faggot about leaving

flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:31 (two weeks ago) link

Felcher

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:37 (two weeks ago) link

lmao fgti

space invaders are smokin penises!!!! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 06:03 (two weeks ago) link

I checked out the song; it’s a few degrees better / more interesting than the description makes it sound, IMO (another failure of the writing).

stan by me (morrisp), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 06:30 (two weeks ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.