OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (twelve years ago) link

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:37 (twelve years ago) link

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (twelve years ago) link

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (twelve years ago) link

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (twelve years ago) link

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (twelve years ago) link

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (twelve years ago) link

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (twelve years ago) link

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (twelve years ago) link

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (twelve years ago) link

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (twelve years ago) link

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (twelve years ago) link

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (twelve years ago) link

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (twelve years ago) link

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (twelve years ago) link

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (twelve years ago) link

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (twelve years ago) link

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (twelve years ago) link

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (twelve years ago) link

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (twelve years ago) link

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (twelve years ago) link

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (twelve years ago) link

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (twelve years ago) link

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (twelve years ago) link

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (twelve years ago) link

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (twelve years ago) link

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (twelve years ago) link

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (twelve years ago) link

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (twelve years ago) link

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (twelve years ago) link

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (twelve years ago) link

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (twelve years ago) link

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:39 (twelve years ago) link

keep in mind this kid was like 8 when Kurdt committed suicide and has probably been bombarded by Nirvana mythologies since he started showing an interest in altrock

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:40 (twelve years ago) link

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Heh, this is a great idea. Yeah gotta say though, opinion pieces like this are ten a penny in this strange little further education world

DJ Mencap, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:41 (twelve years ago) link

there is thou a difference between "analyse and discuss" and "attack and dismiss"

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:42 (twelve years ago) link

Maybe in the real world, but on ILM?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:43 (twelve years ago) link

I'm still not sure when Cobain was adopted as an indie icon, tbh. When I was a teen, Melody Maker was still all "lol miserable junkie loved by them Kerrang oafs" about him.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:44 (twelve years ago) link

I disagree that student writing is exempt from criticism. One's worldview may not be fully formed by the age of 20, but a journalistic voice should be.

Plus, this is just too awful to leave it alone. A phrase like "There has been a movement against corporate music, labels and magazines, which is thankfully disappearing, probably ever since Bob Dylan's move from acoustic to electric" is a jaw-dropper in any context.

Erroneous Botch, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (twelve years ago) link

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

This, totally; what kind of culture are we propagating where these attitudes develop? Why does this guy think this? He's in a band, he's at university, he'd self-identify as 'loving music', he obviously has journalistic ambitions at the same time, and he writes this? Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (twelve years ago) link

young aspiring music journalists should go to ILM training camp

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:48 (twelve years ago) link

more liek:

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0001Y9YAW.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:52 (twelve years ago) link

Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

most of them are, most of them always have, some of them get better as they, you know, grow up - i'm not denying that it's awful writing but i guess the question for me is, do you not feel your life ebbing away from you with every second you spend contemplating this rote and in no way unusual piece of student hackery? do you have this much spare time?? at this point i'mma take my own advice and exit thread stage left.

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:53 (twelve years ago) link

or maybe it’s that some people love imposing brilliance on vapid people because they’re pretty

maura, Thursday, 12 September 2019 02:32 (two months ago) link

i do like seeing someone fail now and then but i'm not super picky about who

j., Thursday, 12 September 2019 03:24 (two months ago) link

I mean I like LDR but jfc comparing her to Joan Didion my god

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:28 (two months ago) link

or maybe it’s that some people love imposing brilliance on vapid people because they’re pretty

I would like to put this on a t-shirt

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:31 (two months ago) link

Norman Fucking Rockwell! slaps in all the right places.
― american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, September 11, 2019 2:05 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

like "the face"

Mommy...can I go out and VAPE tonight? (voodoo chili), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:31 (two months ago) link

sorry, should clarify that brad was quoting somebody there

Mommy...can I go out and VAPE tonight? (voodoo chili), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:31 (two months ago) link

I keep imagining Meghan Trainor singing "All the right slaps/In all the right places"

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:32 (two months ago) link

I decided to read this piece as opposed to just making fun of it from afar and I don't think I'm going to get past the subhead:

The singer has defied critics and graduated summa cum laude from the pop pantheon into the hall of legends. Her latest album proves she deserves the respect of legends like Joni Mitchell and Carole King.

o rly

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:35 (two months ago) link

It must be true. *dies*

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:36 (two months ago) link

In 2012, Del Rey’s debut album, Born to Die, delivered a complex satire of American neediness far ahead of its time, which combined babylike vocals with crushing instrumentals and lyrics rife with literary references to everything from Walt Whitman to Vladimir Nabokov. The net effect was like listening to a toddler recite passages from The Bell Jar: mesmerizing and depressing

what

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:37 (two months ago) link

If my toddler was reciting passages from The Bell Jar my reaction would probably be "HELLO WORLD? LOOK AT MY FUCKING TODDLER"

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:39 (two months ago) link

if my toddler recited passages from the bell jar i'd be like - this slaps

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:40 (two months ago) link

Elsewhere, she’s gloriously despondent. “Fresh out of fucks forever,” she sings on the prodigious “Venice Bitch” song. “Ice cream, ice queen, I dream in jeans and leather.”

I don't think this writer knows the definitions of the words he is using.

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:42 (two months ago) link

Thesaurus.com got a lot of clicks that night

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:04 (two months ago) link

Looks like that guy usually only writes about art

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:06 (two months ago) link

Does the writer give any specific examples of how one of the "crushing instrumentals" aids the "complex satire of American neediness" or is that just one of those things people say when they mean "I like to get high and listen to this record and I hate Trump"?

chr1sb3singer, Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:27 (two months ago) link

speaking of "crushing instrumentals" I would like both Lana Del Rey and Deafheaven more if she was their lead singer

brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 16:58 (two months ago) link

she doesn't have the range

j., Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:00 (two months ago) link

If my toddler recited The Bell Jar, I'd put it in an oven.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:00 (two months ago) link

Alfred, Edgelord Sotosyn

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:08 (two months ago) link

I would like Lana Del Rey more if she'd named her album Norman Fucking Podhoretz

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:43 (two months ago) link

why speak ill of the dead when MSNBC employs his chickenshit son?

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:48 (two months ago) link

I'm all out of fucks and feeling really low

untuned mass damper (mh), Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:56 (two months ago) link

if my toddler recited passages from the bell jar i'd be like - this slaps

in all the wrong places :(

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Thursday, 12 September 2019 18:50 (two months ago) link

that toddler sounds brilliant

Frozen CD, Thursday, 12 September 2019 19:01 (two months ago) link

but not Joan Didion brilliant. Let's calm down.

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 12 September 2019 19:04 (two months ago) link

Slouching Towards Bedtime

Ramen? No thanks, I prefer them cooked (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 13 September 2019 14:51 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

This review of the new Neil Young album is kind of glorious. First, we get this opening paragraph:

‘Colorado’ is Neil Young’s 39th album. Let’s just let that sink in for a moment. He’s reached that point in his career where very few people have constructed as large a catalogue, while delivering a consistent level of quality.

"A consistent level of quality"? Are we still talking about Neil Young here?

That line gets even better when you hit paragraph 9 (of 10):

The return of Lofgren is inspired and Crazy Horse sound better than they have since 'Greendale' in 2003. The guitars feel tighter and have more bite. Young sounds invigorated but comfortable. In all fairness ‘Colorado’ isn’t going to join the pantheon of classic Neil Young albums, but few of his recent releases will, 'Le Noise' being the last that came close, but ‘Colorado’ is still a very good album.

What happened to that "consistent level of quality"?

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 11:43 (three weeks ago) link

I've never heard of this site.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 12:30 (three weeks ago) link

UK music title founded -- with a bit of noise, posters all over London and presumably elsewhere -- in 2004. I'm always startled to discover it still persists, and I think it is too.

mark s, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 12:42 (three weeks ago) link

I dunno the writer says 'Colorado is still a very good album. 'Good' has something to do with quality iirc

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 13:29 (three weeks ago) link

https://ktla.com/2019/10/26/kurt-cobains-green-cardigan-from-unplugged-performance-sells-for-record-breaking-334k/

“The cardigan has never been washed since the concert and has all the original stains, too, so the new owner is sure to smell a lot like teen spirit.”

dracula et son fils (morrisp), Sunday, 27 October 2019 20:10 (two weeks ago) link

does the writer know what teen spirit is?

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 27 October 2019 20:12 (two weeks ago) link


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