Star Trek: Classic or Dud?

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Kirk boffed green alien slave girls with cleavage one could ski down. That alone made him cooler than any subsequent Captain. Other than him, my favorite Star Trek character was Q (what an asshole! what's there not to love about Q?)

All-time favorite episode is "Charlie X," where the Enterprise picks up some teenaged human waif from a planet, who then runs around the ship melting off the faces through telekinesis (?) of various crew members whenever he's teased or horny. What teenager couldn't identify with that?

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Chekov wasn't so bad in the TV series. He was essential because he had the greatest scream, which talent always came in handy when some breed of nasty aliens had some fiendish torture device. Ergo, Chekov = classic.

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

q was awesome, yeah, but just because he made fun of picard. the whole concept was ripped off from that original series episode with the godlike alien who turns out to be just a spoiled kid, and that storyline is better than anything that ever had q in it anyway.

ethan, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Does knowing the difference between a trekker and a trekkie and then claiming you're a trekker instantly make you a trekkie?

I remembered TNG being great when I was 12, but I watched a few of them more recently and they were AWFUL, even the later ones. I think I might have quite liked Deep Space Nine later on, when they started having season-long story arcs, but I never saw enough of them to make sense of what was going on.

John Davey, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

everyone likes ricardo montalban, no?

gareth, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

D U D!

How come most of the crew are American yet NONE of them are chronically obese? (except Scotty who's - ahem - ""Scottish"")

In the 60s it was a bizarre mix of US military 'might is right' fascism and Hippy-dippy, 'why can't all nations hold hands?' idealism (though still managing to be sexist ~ Uhura the Captains secretary and Yoaman Rand (is that right) the Captains bit of [onboard] fluff. AND THATS IT SISTERS!)

It should have ended there as it ran out of ideas and people stopped watching it. But OH NO, they had to bring it back in the 80s with over-long, plodding bore-a-thon 'Next Generation' episodes that tapped into the touchy-feely / inner-child / New-Age nonsense that was on the go at the time. I mean - Counsellor Troi = WHY? She even sits on the bridge next to the Captain!! the message is in the 25th Century a bloody social worker is one of the most important jobs on a space ship.

But it was all so clinical and corperate and soul-less, advocating Pro-conformity and how you should be a good citizen. And too much sanctimonious liberal finger-wagging for my liking.

And it starred Whoopi Goldberg.

And how come all the baddies end up as the Federation's (UGH!) freind, taking tokenistic jobs as Navigators etc?

And why was it always so fucking BORING?

D*A*V*I*D*M, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

star trek. sanctimonious. surely not? heh heh heh

gareth, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Voyager totally kicks the ass of *all* previous incarnations. Because Voyager slash fiction features 7of9, who iz meh on- screen, sexwise, but as a conceptual device in print iz rowr

mark s, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

What is the point of Riker? What the hell is his 'schtick'?

dave q, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The point of Riker was to dilute the Wesley Hatred. This plan backfired when Wesley left and Riker grew a smug beard, turning him into one of the worst things ever. I kept hoping that he and Troi would get sucked into a black hole.

Dan Perry, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I could tolerate Troi's psychobabble only because of her cleavage. And her ass. Other than that, she was useless.

Another Star Trek I had over the other incarnations -- BETTER BACKGROUND MUSIC! Esp. that duh-dum-duh-dum-DUH-DUM-duh-dum theme whenever Kirk's ass was in deep ship.

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I second the post about Troi's assets! The 'psychobabble' thing was hilarious - somebody's biting their nails quickly and their eyes are darting around the room, and Troi's insight is, "He is obviously nervous and anxious about something."

dave q, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

orig.Star Trek composer = v.influenced by Varese... hey, like someone else TS has a tatse for, methinks?

mark s, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

My problem is that I never thought Troi was all that attractive. I mean, Dr. Crusher had more going for her on a purely physical level, IMO, and she wasn't saddled with blurting out painfully obvious lines that inadvertantly made the rest of the crew seem retarded for not being able to pick up on obvious visual cues.

On the other hand, Troi's mother was AWESOME.

Dan Perry, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

dan, you're scaring me now.

gareth, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Troi's Mom more attractive than Troi? Dan, you really are the Evil Clown ;-)

And the original ST's music was Varese-influenced, hey? Hmmmm ... never knew that! Maybe I should go over to that "Who Opened Your Ears" thread in ILM and change an answer or two of mine :-)

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

NONONONONONO!

Troi's mom was cooler than Troi, not more attractive! Aigh, my eyes!

Dan Perry, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Trying to advance the human race through space diplomacy... until they kill all the people [aliens] at the end of the episode/movie. At least Star Wars was honest.

JM, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Why, Dan, why can't you admit that you've got some love of the grey in you? Before Joei came along, I'm sure you were searching for your own Mrs. Robinson for after-school lessons...

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

star wars, honest? it makes no fuckin sense. darth vader tells luke that if he strikes out against him in anger then he will become just like him, and then luke strikes out in anger, and then he wins and everyone's happy? that whole movie is shit anyway because george lucas had an INFINITE fucking pool of ideas to choose from and a huge budget to carry it out, and what does he do? ANOTHER death star and ANOTHER darth/luke lightsaber battle. fuck george lucas, the only good one was empire strikes back and he didn't direct that.

troi: not attractive.

crusher: nuh-uh.

troi's mom: uh.

that guy who was troi's mom's butler or something and was the guy who played lurch in the addams family movies: mrowr.

question: who liked first contact? it was like a next generation episode, only like, cool. plus, supercool supporting cast with alfre woodard and the farmer guy from babe.

someone start a star wars thread so i can bitch about how much that sucks except for empire strikes back.

ethan, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Ethan:
1) There already is a Star Wars thread, it should be in the 'films' category, though it might be under 'culture', not sure.
2) First Contact was wicked at the cinema, but overall I found it a bit disappointing they had to spend the middle part of the film trying to make it like 'Aliens'.

DG, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I like the way the guys in the red shirts who form part of the away team with the main characters always get killed. Original series only for me, Dr McCoy is great! I wish I could be more like Spock.

james e l, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Ah, this is great, I was expecting to be beaten about the head by fans of TNG...the original series rules!

DG, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm glad they tried to make the middle of it like aliens. aliens was wicked. anything that makes next generation have more explosions and blood is good.

hey i just remembered something else i liked in next generation, although it's from that bastard movie where kirk dies (falling off a walkway! the fuck? he's saved the universe like two hundred times and he falls of a walkway and dies? fuck). um anyway, i liked when data said 'shit'.

ethan, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Counsellor Trios ass and tits were ok, but that nose ruined all. Still I bet Riker would often chuckle with Warf about how if she had a abg over her head he'd do her, and then Warf would probaby say "Yeah, and her fore head isnt bumpy enough". There was an episode when the crew was all morphin ginto prehistoric froms of themselves and Warf came on to Trio by saying "GET OUT OF THAT BATH! " and biting her. Not very romantic, those Vulcans.

Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Riker and Picard are both closeted fags ( in trek and IRL)

anthony, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

THey didn't seem to be too closeted to me. PIcard always strutted about like a flamboyant ass -peacock in heat.

Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 25 July 2001 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

one year passes...
I kinda like Enterprise, especially that superflous shower scene in the first epidode. And the 80's power ballad theme tune is great.

jel --, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Jel, are you on Klingon Krack? That is the worst theme song ever ever ever!

Andrew L, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Andrew said it all. Jel, you have given way to insanity.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Riker was surely a weak attempt at a Kirk junior. Troi was hilarious. On the viewscreen appears some sweaty guy with his clothes torn and blood running down one shoulder, screaming in the background, phaser blasts zooming past his ears saying "No, no, everything is fine. DON'T BRING ANY WEAPONS WHEN YOU BEAM DOWN!" and she says "Captain - I sense he may not be telling us the whole truth".

Andrew L has not mentioned his great expertness in this area, for some reason. I know about it because I very briefly worked under him on a Star Trek magazine!

Martin Skidmore, Friday, 26 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...
Nope, the theme tune is definetely great. Sort of like all those brilliant power ballads that were number one in the 1980's. Anyway, the new captain is about to probe a planet...

jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 16:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Another new euphemism! But you're still insane, Jel.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 16:36 (sixteen years ago) link

I saw an episode of Enterprise that featured a lacrosse game on a desert planet played in slow motion. I felt like I was watching an extended Abercrombie and Fitch ad.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 16:43 (sixteen years ago) link

I hated TNG - data,wesley and riker's beardless phases espesh. voyager had that one cool story about that temporal ship, DS9 was mostly good - playing up the existence of factions within cultures/races - the plot arc better than that on the later Babylon5.

Enterprise - trip is annoying but that vulcan's fit.

s.r.w. (s.r.w.), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 17:53 (sixteen years ago) link

today is actually the first time I got around to watching a full episode of enterprise and its not bad in a back-to-basics way but please drop the theme tune please (I didn't watch any becuz I was in canada and I ddin't watch any telly for 3 months apart from world cup).

first series: like what i haf seen but haven't watched many episodes.

Next generation: only reached goodeness after the Borg came in the picture.

Deep space nine: deeply flawed (a space station in the middle of nowhere and they had to make a war to make it interesting so it had problems just like next generation) though I did watch most of it.

Voyager: the absolute fucking classic. They are stranded and haf to go back but they explore the other side of the quadrant which means all sorts of storylines, (this aspect is exploited to the full) and if that isn't enough then here are the words that settle this argument.

SEVEN OF NINE.

The woman of my dreams (Troi is an ugly witch compared to my seven). She's like Data (both trying to gain 'humanity') but she's a woman. And what a woman. Then the doctor who i think is rilly rilly funny too.

I was pissed off that my brother missed taping two episodes and I made him aware of that to say the least(only six were taped, I had to spend all night watching them on the day i got back from canada and it was time well spent though seven is breaking my heart trying to 'get' chakotay).

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 21 August 2002 18:32 (sixteen years ago) link

The original series had those cool mini-skirt uniforms, beehive hair styles, & Klingons as thinly disguised Cold war-era Russians. What's not to like?

(Fun fact: The student services building at my school is called the William Shatner building & even has the Shatner Ballroom. Classic!)

Miss Laura, Thursday, 22 August 2002 08:17 (sixteen years ago) link

students, what will they think of next? the little rascals.

angela, Thursday, 22 August 2002 08:49 (sixteen years ago) link

julio: "why you little **** you forgot to tape two episodes"

julio's brother: "quit yer whining improv-boy, i taped seven of nine" (or it may be "13 of 15 etc etc")


DO YOU SEE!!?

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 22 August 2002 10:03 (sixteen years ago) link

i never really got into star trek, but archer is best. because he's scott bakula. and scott bakula is yum.

g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 22 August 2002 10:22 (sixteen years ago) link

''julio's brother: "quit yer whining improv-boy, i taped seven of nine"''

heh. Alex (my brother's name) would never say 'improv' as he doesn't know what that is. or wants to know.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 22 August 2002 10:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Has anyone yet mentioned the "Even Star Trek films good, odd Star Trek films pants" theory?

Good: Wrath Of Khan, The Voyage Home (time travel, whales), The Undiscovered Country (Peace with the Klingons), First Contact (The Borg hit Earth), hopefully Nemesis

Bad: Star Trek: the Motionless Picture, The Search For Spock, The Final Frontier (Crazy Vulcan searches for God), Generations (Malcom MacDowell froths, Kirk dies), Insurrections (not that terrible, just a double length TNG episode).

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 22 August 2002 10:51 (sixteen years ago) link

hopefully Nemesis

Having finally seen the trailer, my hopes for the film are now quite high.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:08 (sixteen years ago) link

My sweetie was excited about the new movie, but then he heard Wil Wheaton was goint to be in it and was massively disapointed. It was funny...

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Wil Wheaton was going to be in it

ARGH. Now I'm massively disappointed as well!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:36 (sixteen years ago) link

nah i'm pretty sure Wesley got left on the cutting room floor... there was an Empire article about this but their website is currently down, so can't check. i'm pretty sure tho like i say.

katie (katie), Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:43 (sixteen years ago) link


The world, including the acting world, is full of beautiful women. Presumably if you're making a high-profile TV SF show, it's not hard to get some beautiful women to appear in it.

So while I can see the intrinsic appeal of the attractiveness of the women in late STrek progs, I can't see it as a tribute to the imagination, skill and integrity of the programme makers.

the pinefox, Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:49 (sixteen years ago) link

nah i'm pretty sure Wesley got left on the cutting room floor...

There is hope left in this sad world.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:50 (sixteen years ago) link

SPOILER ALERT!!

Riker and Troi get married in the new movie...

Andrew L (Andrew L), Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:50 (sixteen years ago) link

So I heard. About damn time!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 August 2002 14:54 (sixteen years ago) link

Fantastic news. "Calypso" was one of discovery's highlights and Chabon has written a lot of books I like.

The redlettermedia video on discovery s2 pointed out that the show has over 20 producers listed in the opening credits. That's crazy.

adam the (abanana), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 12:51 (two weeks ago) link

working my way through ds9 right now and just watched the episode where quark's bar forms a union...maybe the most class conscious episode of tv i've ever seen?

ds9 is really wonderful, the only character that i find a bit boring is dax but other than that i think everyone can carry their own episode and i'll be equally excited. i love tng but for the most part the picard stories are the strongest and he's defined more by his individual character than by his relationships with others. whereas ds9 character pairings and relationships are so great. i could watch bashir and o'brien hang out for hours.

oiocha, Wednesday, 3 July 2019 16:53 (two weeks ago) link

The redlettermedia video on discovery s2 pointed out that the show has over 20 producers listed in the opening credits. That's crazy.

I think Fosse/Verdon had about the same. Some properties have long tails, I guess.

trishyb, Wednesday, 3 July 2019 16:57 (two weeks ago) link

Which Dax?

(Spoiler)

koogs, Wednesday, 3 July 2019 18:22 (two weeks ago) link

The thing with Jadzia is that a) it was Terry Farrell's first real long-term acting gig and b) the writers hadn't really fleshed out Jadzia at that point.

I've been having some minor trepidation about the Picard series; for me, he's a paragon of virtue, something that humanity should strive for, and when he's characterized differently (e.g. Generations), the psychology feels off. And if the Picard series is going grimdark (which is pure speculation on my part), that would be awful.

Garbo Pond (Leee), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 18:29 (two weeks ago) link

Dax was written in some conflicting ways in the early seasons. In one episode she'll be playful while being groped by Ferengis, the next episode she'll be scared by a big spider.

adam the (abanana), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 19:38 (two weeks ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D_ISDiwXkAAxwPO.jpg:small

mookieproof, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 17:02 (one week ago) link

J-LP, his dog, and a vineyard? Hell yes. I truly hope there is zero space travel in this show.

the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 17:09 (one week ago) link

Turns out it's all about his 24th century cooking reality-holodeck show.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 17:11 (one week ago) link

hope the dog's name is number one

mookieproof, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 17:16 (one week ago) link

Guess what...

His name is NUMBER ONE.
I KNEW IT. #picard pic.twitter.com/5OpHQI2j8f

— Ani Bundel 🔜 #SDCC (@anibundel) July 10, 2019

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 17:58 (one week ago) link

Calling it: dog has internal monologues voiced by Jonathan Frakes.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:09 (one week ago) link

big reveal at the end of episode one: riker’s brain is in that dog

A comical 'blobbumentary' programme (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:09 (one week ago) link

lol jinx

A comical 'blobbumentary' programme (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:09 (one week ago) link

"Lead the away team."

"Ruff."

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:12 (one week ago) link

'Whatsamatter, boy? Does Number One need to number two?'

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:32 (one week ago) link

In all seriousness, I'll be thrilled beyond words if this show winds up being nothing more than a slow and meditative series about a geriatric ex-space captain puttering around in his vineyard.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:34 (one week ago) link

This week: Jean-Luc takes a bushel of surplus grapes over to his neighbor's and they sit a spell. Also, Number One has an encounter with a mischievous mouse.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:36 (one week ago) link

This is gonna be on amazon in the uk. Discovery was on netflix. Pricks.

The Pingularity (ledge), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:39 (one week ago) link

They just need to make every episode on par with The Inner Light and they’ll be fine

the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 18:40 (one week ago) link

This is gonna be on amazon in the uk. Discovery was on netflix. Pricks.

who are you mad at

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:06 (one week ago) link

I think there's ire enough to spread evenly among all of the streaming services who feel that customers should pay $10.99/mo. for the 1-2 non-garbage original series they offer.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:18 (one week ago) link

As much as I want to see this show there is no way I’m subscribing to cbs all access

the public eating of beans (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:30 (one week ago) link

https://trekkiefeminist.tumblr.com/post/65758607073/tng-7x14-sub-rosa

A friend reminded me of this forgotten (by me) episode and holy shit.

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:31 (one week ago) link

that episode is astonishing on many levels

A comical 'blobbumentary' programme (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 19:43 (one week ago) link

I think there's ire enough to spread evenly among all of the streaming services who feel that customers should pay $10.99/mo. for the 1-2 non-garbage original series they offer.

neither of those services have produced either of these series

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 20:04 (one week ago) link

I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally (frequently?) half-ass a post in eager anticipation of a patented sic correction.

'Beverly's Gothic Travails' is a thoroughly wackadoo Trek installment.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 21:26 (one week ago) link

omfg:

The swimming lesson that wasn't. Our foster pibble Ginger is perfect afternoon company. @ASPCA @WagsandWalks #AdoptDontShop pic.twitter.com/yDWiXbCSXS

— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) March 9, 2017

Garbo Pond (Leee), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 22:29 (one week ago) link

a patented sic correction

I asked a sincere question, shrug emoji

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 23:16 (one week ago) link

ok a sincere answer: I'm mad at cbs for switching from netflix which i subscribe to to amazon which i don't; less selfishly, as OL says i am mad at the fragmentation of streaming services, which completely destroys the whole point of them.

The Pingularity (ledge), Thursday, 11 July 2019 10:41 (one week ago) link

that is in no way the point of them! but it's not really important for this thread to lurch down that road

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Thursday, 11 July 2019 10:45 (one week ago) link

Yeah in terms of 'point' it's like that thing where television programs basically exist to fill time between commercials.

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Thursday, 11 July 2019 11:50 (one week ago) link


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