Quick answer - job application help.

PS. Alright then mark, maybe I wont email yer!

if not, arts funding in any particular area - ie. arts & development, specific fields, only in UK, exchange related etc

Just applied for a new job, does this supporting statement(with some sensitive info removed) sound ok?

I am applying for this vacancy as it offers an excellent opportunity to both develop and consolidate the extensive experience I've gained in more than 10 years in administration in the public, commercial and banking sectors. The University of Life represents exactly the sort of dynamic and progressive organisation I aspire to work for. The Management School holds a special interest as since 1998 I’ve worked as a Civil Servant in the Department of Silly Walks , the remit of which coincides with many of the key strength areas the Management School focuses on and which has afforded me a good knowledge base of the concerns and demands on the corporate sector both by statute and wider society.

My primary role in the last six years has been within the Compliance section of XXX which is the government body that xxx, I am charged with the preparation of reports to the XXX against XXX who do not comply with the XXX and file statutory returns each year. In selecting xxx for prosecution I have to make judgements using a number of variables and sources, taking account of the policy of my own and partner agencies; the viability of the case and the probability of a positive result. As the successful end result of a case is the criminal conviction of a xxx, it is essential that I’m constantly aware of the high stakes involved with consistent and sound analysis. In addition to my prosecution role I manage complaints from xxx and other interested parties about the quality of data on the xxx and liaise with our in-house accountant, the xxx and the presenter of the accounts to achieve a satisfactory result.

Due to the nature of compliance a significant part of this job is spent dealing with difficult and distressed callers on the telephone and in person so a sensitive and nuanced approach is paramount when handling customers’ concerns. Their knowledge base can be wildly varied, ranging from experienced professional advisors such as solicitors and accountants to new directors and interested members of the public who can be unfamiliar with the statutory filing requirements, so I must use my judgement to pitch my answers to the appropriate level and avoid jargon wherever possible.

There is a strong emphasis on multidisciplinary cooperation in both of my roles within the agency. On the prosecution side I work closely with the XXXX and the XXXX to build a case and achieve a successful conviction. These agencies as well as my own are publicly accountable and have published targets which all work to different timescales, as such it is of the utmost importance to be able to plan and prioritise my work effectively to meet these targets.
In my complaint handling duties I act as a conduit between the initial complainer and the offending xxx, in conjunction with our accountant. A high standard of record keeping is required in this role as workflow can be unpredictable and the information I have to convey can be highly technical.

I am an experienced and confident user of Microsoft Office. I was responsible for detailed testing and troubleshooting of a new Access database and have been heavily involved in the development and testing of a new agency-wide IT system.

I work within a small team of seven people and am sensitive to the wider demands of the team and help out wherever possible when colleagues are under pressure. I work closely with my line manager in deciding which course of action to take in less clear-cut cases and am able to suggest and implement ways to refine and improve our service delivery.

In conclusion I believe that these skills equip me with the ideal foundation to fulfil the requirements your vacancy and become an asset to the Management School.

Quick question -

WTF is the difference between a strength and an attribute?

Specifically for a job application with list your skills, strengths and attributes, with 3 separate sections.

that moment in a cover letter when you realise you actually do probably need to discuss dank memes

do you row it back or press forward?

(it's less a cover letter than an unsolicited essay on how media is changing, but the info given abt the publication start-up is so limited that i might as well take this route: not just "what i've done and why i'm good at it" but "where we all are and what we should do about it")

in sum i propose to hire dril and er bizarro gazzarra, and where you say this is a pub dedicated to longform, i'm going to counterpoint with this: fav tumblr post thread, a thread in which we link to threads which listpost fav tumblr posts

in 18 months or less all communication of any value will be via dank memes, press on and be hailed as a prophet imo

gnna print this out on a sheet of A2 then laminate it instead of a CV

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/q8j6OC_V5Qo/maxresdefault.jpg

https://i.chzbgr.com/full/8795739904/h315D298A/

btw u should print that a0 instead of a2

go big or go home imo

TBF, even if 99 places reject your froggy doodle out of hand, that hundredth place that gets you is gonna be one hell of a sweet fit.

pro-tip: under no circumstances should you show the interview panel your froggy doodle

the whispers in my head: do it
bizarro g: DO IT DO IT
ilx (banging clipboards): DO IT DO IT DO IT

bizarro g: wait i meant

no no, you don't understand, froggy doodle is the name of my

https://i.imgur.com/jMTCaqk.jpg

gnna need a bigger a0

The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo) at 2:43 12 Jan 12
Quick question -
WTF is the difference between a strength and an attribute?
Specifically for a job application with list your skills, strengths and attributes, with 3 separate sections.

big ticket energy

https://66.media.tumblr.com/97f85210b903b32f0d312e17c964e356/8aed261bfeb7c524-b9/s1280x1920/df9502071738e22d87a777662bf1e465fcb5f4bb.jpg

today's session -- "job application advice TO THE XTREME" -- has been very helpful, thank you everyone

Look, I'm good for at least two or three things but job search advice is not one of them (considers length of tenure at current 'job', sobs inconsolably).

what was the actual question again

it was whether mark should write a bonkers critical disquisition on the state of contemporary life as part of his cover letter for an application for a job with a start-up publication

actual answer is: lol dude

ans js yes but dont submit it

i submitted it -- i'm not going to get this job anyway but it was a useful thing to write up

https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/image/5617654-3x4-220x293.jpg

mark i need you to get this job i've already handed in my resignation based on your offer of employment upthread

ahem

https://66.media.tumblr.com/2fc9cd19c84b8977de0cbc3db89d2513/tumblr_oli554TjXs1qjobhbo1_1280.pnj

HIRET

when yr coverletter needs to refer to the workshop you run so you shorthand those who attended as "my workshoppers" but don't notice that autocorrect then calls them "my worshippers"

obviously i am still going for the bold approach so maybe i'll stick with it

(this is not the job mentioned above -- no word from them so far -- but it too demands the "A0 laminate of orange lad"-instead-of-a-CV tactic tbrr)

pull out the ol' froggy doodle and talk up your worshippers and the job is yours tbrr

also my family is dying pls to give me job as promised

probably can't hire you for this one but i can develop a popular module based on yr posting style (= "as you normally do" obv)

AYND.rar if compressed, which is a lil close for comfort imo

damn right it'll be a popular module, people love my posts, they say it to me all the time

post-post-untruth society

https://media1.tenor.com/images/fb3f2d1e814190100a4ae401b1660d5b/tenor.gif

https://media1.tenor.com/images/fb3f2d1e814190100a4ae401b1660d5b/tenor.gif

the truth is out there*

*this is not a useful direction

or true

I believe that it's perfectly acceptable, in the process of a job hunt, to present oneself as one would in day-to-day, 'business casual' interactions with peers. Prospective employers want to know a little about who you are outside of the office, so you can only benefit from sprinkling offhanded mentions of your death cult throughout your CV. Have the courage to staple your manifesto to the back if you really want to show them how well-rounded and blindly-obeyed an individual you are.

i just missed a job app deadline bcz they brought it forward (when i printed the spec out it was tomorrow, now the site says "deadline july 30, deadline no longer available")

if you’ve got the printout, without being passagg about it, can you query that? that doesn’t seem right and they’re potentially missing out on someone good!

lol it turns out it's still open (till 25 aug!) on linked-in so i think it's either an admin screw-up or they're advertising in some weird rolling cohort fashion -- anyway pitch sent in and orange lad unleashed

:)

just stopped myself tweeting critical support for this excellent lady and her ways with a working day (since future employers can easily find my current twitter account):

immense respect for this bold attempt on the way out https://t.co/hTskm9OrJX pic.twitter.com/0i3LtmOWTc

— Sigh Hersh (still a yianni d. fan) (@Ugarles) August 20, 2019

I'm not sure I understand what the issue is (uses company card to spread caviar onto Swarovski crystal-encrusted cracker).

lol writing yr own references is a poisoned chalice isn’t it?

how does the referee resist adding, right before their signature, “He wrote this all himself, about himself, and excepts me to sign it. WOT A DOUCHE!”

i mean it’s all true, i am in fact marvellous in every way, but i like to be winningly bashful about it

I joke itt because the job search processes described herein are basically a finely-rendered conception of my personal hell.

veering wildly today towards a new model: you the prestigious food emporium put up a job vacancy online, i don't want to do that but apply for it anyway, making clear in the cover letter that i will only accept the very different role i'm actually after

i am become the icarus of employment mendicancy

a good way to spot typos in old cover letters is to repurpose them via c&p, yes i did mean "mteiculous"

exactni sarntads

presented my standard CV to an "internet CV service" to comment on -- apparently i'm sending the message that i am a "doer" rather than an "achiever"

which rereading it is fair, esp.as i sent a version w/o the usual summary paragraph at the start

how do they distinguish, mark? putting down skills rather than things you’ve done/problems solved/particular achievements etc?

i did mine again recently with a manager and it took me four drafts - lot of it representing myself better than i perceive myself. painful but worth it.

i sent them the big wall of places i'd worked at and things i'd published, which is def.a bit non-explanatory -- esp.if i'm going for more "creative" things*, which i am now i got the book off my desk.

*i.e. not just part-time subbing posts, where "what achieved" = everything read well and was spelled correctly. my cover letters are much better at conveying this and are probably part of the CV i shd have sent them, but redrafting the CV to have difft versions, to point at specific types of application isn't a bad idea i don't think

doing cv cover letter right now for a job i dont want, have now convinced myself im the only possible candidate for and will be enraged when not shortlisted next week

rollercoaster of promotions

i just ran the revised CV through a different "instant CV checker" websites (i can't go back to the first one w/o paying) and it tells me (among other things, some useful) that hiring software mainly indicates i am based in "information technology" lol (true but what a a to say it) plus i have had "34% exposure to engineering" wtf

i mean no wonder i am not getting responses to my work pitches but how do you game the machines when the machines are very dumb

write various keywords in white text so you get picked up

problem solved

jk but apparently people do this...

how do you game the machines when the machines are very dumb

you might have been able to figure this out if your exposure to engineering had reached 35%

the upshot of the above is that a friend (who often vets CVs and works in my microsector) finally got sick of my whining and took a look and gave me some excellent tips, so i now have a CV that does actually tell ppl what i can do and what i'm corrently looking for lol

ps i'm not running it through any more stupid machines

(the machines were good at noting i wasn't doing some things well, very bad at explaining how to make them better)