no boys allowed in the room!!!!

i liked history of violence. i also like d cronenberg - when i heard abt the sex on set thing, i was like, yep. i only wish to one day be that free and crazy with my freak flag (in my own way, not his way, i mean, i'm not going to make a movie like Dead Ringers either, so..)

Jenny those end tables are beautiful!

The only Cronenberg movie I have seen other than AHOV is Spider. I remember liking that one, I got sucked into it. I can also understand how that sex scene could be a turning point for the wife's character but I remember it moving so seamlessly from me being freaked out about him getting rough with her to them f-ing. I don't think I've ever had angry sex or had sex after a fight like that, so maybe I just can't relate. The main thing is there was so much more in the movie that I didn't care for.

I rly like those tables too, although they're quite busy! Tell Jeff you can put some white cloth napkins on them as drip-catchers that will calm the pattern down. I bought retro-printed yellow cloth table napkins at Target and use them to protect the top of my teak coffee table. Spread them flat, iron flatter if you're feeling OCD.

Or go to second-hand stores and buy old embroidered handkerchiefs or linens for same thing. Very handy.

crush i tried to stop having on someone i thought was kinda just too flakey has returned! with heart-stopping vengence...
dammit. i mean, hm. i mean, ow.

Aww. Do you still think he's too flaky?

ooh i hate that. i had that experience semi-recently - return of crush - it went away a lot faster this time than the first time. the feeling, not the person.

i think that b/c the crush waned, i was able to see him more clearly as a person, which was good, but also i didn't see him that often in general - partly b/c i never chase people and make all these assumptions abt others' 'busy lives' and how i don't have a place in them (am working on changing that ridic pattern...) - and now i just spent well over an hour w him and am just like omg kindred spirit.

totally done w/chasing people

it's good when you can see crushes more clearly as people, though sometimes crushes become crushes because the person in question sorta obfuscates their identity and is aloof

I know some girls who get guys to fall for him by remaining aloof for as long as possible. I can never do that, I'm so transparent.

for them* ugh.

http://www.tallkiss.com/

oh internet

but yeah, there's aloof and knowing that you're going to be chased, and then there's aloof and feeling like they might or might not chase you, pretending you don't care, but actually caring, etc.

the same person i've been plant-watering for (and using washer & dryer of - ALL my laundry is done! unprecidented) has a lot of self-empowerment books, not crappy ones, but fairly intellectual ones tbh, and i've been browsing through them. it's been interesting. so i'm rethinking what 'chasing' means, and while i wldn't chase in many forms, i need to at least put effort/energy in and see myself as chase-able - i mean, i have all kinds of evidence of that having actually and in fact happened throughout my adult life and yet i discount it these days. being 30-something is so weird. better than 20-something, but weirder.

i don't care anymore

i dunno -- i think chasing makes sense if you genuinely like the person. otherwise you just sit there pretending to not care and that doesn't work when both people do it, now does it

chasing worked for me, though i didn't do it with the embarrassing fervor i had done it in the past

also this is like 150,000 xposts, but riding to and from social events is pretty much the reason that i can get myself to go to social events like 90% of the time

i'm seriously thinking abt winterizing my mountain bike this year! at least for neighbourhood jaunts (my road bike is too much summer fun, don't want to wreck it)

i think my new answer is to just let my true loving self shine through any silly anxieties these days tbh. getting over caring abt what people think as long as i'm not hurting anyone, right? embrace the weirdness

that's my motto
it's part of the true unfettered glory of one's 30s imo

the only time i have to rein it in a little is at work, but students aren't allowed to see full on 100% me anyway. too vulnerable!

OTM

I didn't even realize how liberating this actually was until Jeff and I were at this free outdoor concert that was well attended by many cool kids and I started to get anxious about whether I was reading as appropriate hip for my surroundings and it hit me: I'm a 37-year-old fat lady here straight from my business casual lawyer job and of COURSE I don't fit in, but I'm really happy to be sitting outside and watching this band I really like and *mental bird-flipping to all concern attendees*.

Let's address some typos, shall we? "Appropriate" should be "appropriately" and "concern" should be "concert."

Sheesh.

if you're over 30 and you're still making yourself sick about what other people think, yr doin it rong

i didn't go to pfork at all, but that's because i forgot when it was and i was on vacation

heh, i read it as "concerned attendees" and that made sense too!

i'm totally unconcerned about being too weird or uncool because i'm "old" - i was at a friend's house about a month ago, and looking at his hipster roommate's tape collection, which is in the kitchen, and commented that it really resembled my tape collection circa 1987, and hipster roommate got a bit defensive, and we got into an argument about what was the best New Order album - he disputed my assertion that it was Power Corruption & Lies, but it turned out he really likes to argue, so I think I actually rose in his estimation.

Oh, the concert in question was the Caribou show in Millennium Park. I didn't go to Pitchfork either b/c it's hot outside and we're moving plus fuck portapotties. Another thing I get to not care about now that I'm over 30: prioritizing sanitation and personal comfort over wanting everybody to think I'm the kind of person who doesn't care about portapotties or filthy dive bar bathrooms. It turns out I do care. I fucking care a lot.

xp Of course it's Power Corruption & Lies (although I am very fond of Brotherhood in a totally uncool way).

"Age of Consent" has an eerie habit of coming up on shuffle on my ipod when i'm leaving a show or party having had bad guy chasing experiences

I am listening to that right now. Which is actually not that odd since I put on PC&L because you just mentioned it.

hahaha re: prioritizing sanitation - like how at age 28 i was travelling and suddenly was just like fuck this hostel shit we're staying in a hotel. never go back.

lol - roxy is on tour and can't contribute to this thread right now

YES. The days of using a bag of my own dirty clothes as a pillow are OVER, motherfuckers.

Well, Roxy is a rock star so that's different.

also - sleeping on mattresses on the floor - i don't care if i lost punk or boho cred or whatever, i really like sleeping on an actual bed

as long as it's a mattress and not a futon, i'm okay with it being on the floor.

We just bought a real bed w/ headboard (the first I have owned since I went to college and my parents cleared out my teenage bedroom!), but the delivery date is after we move and I'm loathe to move anything unnecessarily so we're leaving the metal bed-frame thinger behind and going back to mattress-on-the-floor for however long it takes them to deliver the bed.

I've been reading a lot of home decorating blogs in an attempt to not suck at decorating my home and I have noticed that putting the mattress right on the floor is kind of trendy again.

i don't care about trendy, i'm in my mid-30s. i like the elevation that a bed provides, it's a kinda regal feeling

another advantage: cats won't be able to hide underneath for sneakattack.

my parents have had the same crummy mattress on the floor for my entire life (my first bed was a mattress on the floor too)
not surprisingly, this has made me long for a really tall cushiony bed
mattress on the floor with no box spring reminds me of the sad scene of duckie's bedroom

haha totally. duckie listening to the smiths, tossing cards into a hat.

please please please let me get what i want

mattress on the floor with no box spring reminds me of the sad scene of duckie's bedroom

i thought that was the coolest thing when i was a teenager, though!

lol - Jenny - I was thinking the New Order "Age of Consent" topic - not the mattresses/hostel topic

Me, toooooooooooo I tossed so many cards into hats. It's funny. I was supposed to identify with Andy, but she was so defined by the dudes around her, that instead I just desperately wanted to be Ducky.

HA, sarahel, okay! Haha.

i tried for years to find a Ducky-like jacket! That was my vintage store holy grail for a while.

i never tossed a single card into a hat in my life
that scene made me think that duckie might be homeless/a squatter/orphaned, but as a kid i always thought that when one character never had on-screen parents and the other one did (see also: some kind of wonderful)

i mean, i didn't REALLY think he was a street waif (he did go to school and try to do his homework), but the thought crossed my mind

yeah i was mildly curious as to duckie's home life situation. i didn't think he was a squatter but i did think maybe his parents weren't in the picture and he was renting a room somewhere.

but if he was renting a room he probably would have to quit high school and get a job so no.

but almost all of those 80s teen movies had minimal parental presence! My mom referred to the characters in those movies as "pod children" because they never seemed to have any parents, as if they were generated from pods like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers

but john hughes was invested in at least getting a representative moment of parents being awful onscreen. and harry dean stanton is fairly prominent in pretty in pink. kids bitch about their parents in john hughes movies at least. with duckie, it was like his entire life involved trailing andie around.

Pretty in Pink means a lot to me, guys.