D:
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:11 (thirteen years ago) link
Satan bets he'll make you curse your existance. God accepts.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:11 (thirteen years ago) link
diarrhea rainstorm
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:15 (thirteen years ago) link
lol, nice, two words.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:16 (thirteen years ago) link
girlfriend screams at 4AM, flashlight shines into bedroom window
really happened^
old lady standing at the foot of your bed, staring
― rent, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:17 (thirteen years ago) link
omg!
xpost
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:17 (thirteen years ago) link
all your cell walls collapse.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:18 (thirteen years ago) link
your cock is a spiral ham
― Lamp, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:18 (thirteen years ago) link
looooool
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:19 (thirteen years ago) link
an idiot gets ahold of a nuclear weapon
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:19 (thirteen years ago) link
bleeding from the ankle in open waters, great white approaching.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (thirteen years ago) link
parks and recreation marathon
― I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (thirteen years ago) link
i wanna hear the rest of that flashlight story!
xpost ha aa haa ha ha ha haaa
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (thirteen years ago) link
bound & gagged by cannibal dwarfs
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:23 (thirteen years ago) link
the flashlight moved away from the window seconds after my girlfriend woke me up and my initial reaction was, surprisingly, delirious anger. i ran outside in my boxers to see if i could see someone running away but by the time i got out there they were gone. end of story. i'm thinking aliens.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:25 (thirteen years ago) link
every Cannibal Corpse song ever
― the new hot dawg stand in compton (Pillbox), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:29 (thirteen years ago) link
Ebola everywhere. Bleeding from eyes only a matter of time.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:30 (thirteen years ago) link
wake up, no light, can't move
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:32 (thirteen years ago) link
Everything starts catching on fire.
― kkvgz, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:42 (thirteen years ago) link
Oops that's a penis
― i maybe does drugs (rip van wanko), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:43 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^^^^^^^ next m. knight shyamalan film.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (thirteen years ago) link
Relative says "Let's have a big family Christmas!"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (thirteen years ago) link
next m. knight shyamalan film.
^^ most terrifying scenario so far
― goth (crüt), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (thirteen years ago) link
― kkvgz, Sunday, July 18, 2010 6:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQZ3nICd8uk
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:46 (thirteen years ago) link
worms start wriggling out the pores of your skin
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:47 (thirteen years ago) link
world's fattest man sits on you, doesn't get up
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:48 (thirteen years ago) link
stuck in an elevator for 72 hours
Your martini arrives garnished with a tiny shrunken head.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:50 (thirteen years ago) link
you are marrying an otter
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:55 (thirteen years ago) link
you marry an otter who turns out to be gay
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:56 (thirteen years ago) link
still posting to ILX in 10 years
― al-goreda (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:57 (thirteen years ago) link
still alive in 10 years
― Lamp, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:59 (thirteen years ago) link
still D.R.E. in 10 years
― al-goreda (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:00 (thirteen years ago) link
lol
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:04 (thirteen years ago) link
The Republicans retake control of the House and Senate.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:04 (thirteen years ago) link
president palin
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:08 (thirteen years ago) link
fellow apartment-resident palin
― goth (crüt), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:08 (thirteen years ago) link
palin takes over the tonight show
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:09 (thirteen years ago) link
While eating a chocolate bar, someone says "That's not chocolate"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:12 (thirteen years ago) link
all the world's food becomes carob
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:14 (thirteen years ago) link
soy-based alternative to sex invented & becomes norm
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:15 (thirteen years ago) link
GB General Election decided by ILX poll
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:16 (thirteen years ago) link
Every time you fall asleep, you die and are replaced.
― Darramouss, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:27 (thirteen years ago) link
actually alive during your autopsy.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:29 (thirteen years ago) link
Joseph Stalin having butt sex with your mom (without lube)
― Michael B, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:30 (thirteen years ago) link
World Cup Final 2010 : Netherlands vs Spain - Netherlands wins.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:31 (thirteen years ago) link
England wins World Cup
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:32 (thirteen years ago) link
trapped in a commercial airplane, over the ocean, careening downwards.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:32 (thirteen years ago) link
There was a good one in the back of Eno's Diary book that I was rereading, in an appendix called Unthinkable Futures.
People of different astrological signs wage war with each other.
― MaresNest, Saturday, 18 August 2018 10:34 (five years ago) link
Bono - Morrissey collaboration
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 August 2018 13:08 (five years ago) link
socialism and anarchism found willing ears into which to pour
― reggie (qualmsley), Saturday, 18 August 2018 20:51 (five years ago) link
imagoPosted: August 18, 2018 at 1:47:44 PMbirdwatching and experimental writing crew that meets for afternoon tea
― F# A# (∞), Saturday, 18 August 2018 20:54 (five years ago) link
you clearly ordered the wrong thing
― a roomba of one's own (rip van wanko), Saturday, 18 August 2018 21:12 (five years ago) link
Guy Fieri, US Secretary of Flavor
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:20 (five years ago) link
Contagious scaly butt warts
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:23 (five years ago) link
The Beatles featuring Adam Levine
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:25 (five years ago) link
Misread that as 'The Beatles fucking Adam Levine'. I assume that also counts as an entry itt.
― Goody Rickels on the Dime (Old Lunch), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:27 (five years ago) link
Compulsory gyro-based autophagia. And you're all out of tzatziki.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:13 (four years ago) link
Tears that smell like doodoo
― FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:20 (four years ago) link
water slide gets progressively smaller, you become wedged, dying slowly
― boobie, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:57 (four years ago) link
2020
― LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Sunday, 27 September 2020 01:37 (three years ago) link
haunting. even knowing I don't have any.
― swing out sister: live in new donk city (geoffreyess), Sunday, 27 September 2020 04:23 (three years ago) link
Rolling Stone lists the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.
― Deflatormouse, Sunday, 27 September 2020 06:54 (three years ago) link
Dying just restarts your life DVD
― LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Sunday, 27 September 2020 07:17 (three years ago) link
xp :D <3 :D
― Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:02 (three years ago) link
the world today ... and tomorrow
― Stevolende, Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:18 (three years ago) link
white privileged theatre group tackle racism
― Stevolende, Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:19 (three years ago) link
your life has always been narrated by larry king
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 27 September 2020 15:53 (three years ago) link
(^a very personal message from Mr. Karl Malone)
also:
you dream you're a butterfly. waken as a butterfly. it sucks.
― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Sunday, 27 September 2020 19:05 (three years ago) link
iPad stations being prepared for virtual ICU end-of-life visits
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:55 (three years ago) link
Lloris gets injured after January, that’s the season done.
― Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari),
― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:09 (three years ago) link
antibiotics don't seem to be working, how's your roommate feeling?
― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:19 (three years ago) link
your taint appears on MS Teams in Executive meeting
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:23 (three years ago) link
instinctively knowing how to handle that situation (zoom in)
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:26 (three years ago) link
Giuliani sponge bath
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 9 December 2020 05:39 (three years ago) link
zooming in on Giuliani spongebathing, trying to prove something
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 9 December 2020 05:45 (three years ago) link
Giuliani handkerchief bath
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 9 December 2020 12:12 (three years ago) link
white pseudoliberal writes play on ethnicity
― Stevolende, Wednesday, 9 December 2020 12:28 (three years ago) link
Starland Vocal Band, house band in Hell
― Slowzy LOLtidore (Neanderthal), Monday, 20 June 2022 15:33 (one year ago) link
stuck in time warp between 2020-2022
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 5 October 2022 14:53 (one year ago) link
your balls are alive and hate each other
― ultimate worrier (goole), Sunday, July 18, 2010 11:32 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― jmm, Wednesday, 5 October 2022 15:41 (one year ago) link
"X goes live in ten.." said Elon.
― “uhh”—like, this is an insane oatmeal raisin cookie “uhh” (President Keyes), Wednesday, 5 October 2022 15:48 (one year ago) link
Tim Rogers Custer's Revenge review video is fourteen hours long.
― “Cheeky cheeky!” she trills, nearly demolishing a roadside post (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 6 October 2022 15:13 (one year ago) link
Open driver's side door, bear in passenger seat
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 6 October 2022 16:47 (one year ago) link
TV is now only reaction videos
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Monday, 10 October 2022 14:56 (one year ago) link
you release surprise album, nobody cares
― sad Mings of dynasty (Neanderthal), Friday, 30 June 2023 03:21 (nine months ago) link
Heat dome forms from stagnant high-pressure system trapping hot air.
― calzino, Friday, 30 June 2023 08:28 (nine months ago) link
“As part of the role you are responsible for managing our social media accounts”
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 30 June 2023 08:46 (nine months ago) link
lmao
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 30 June 2023 16:25 (nine months ago) link
pitchfork reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews reviews
― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Friday, 4 August 2023 02:19 (eight months ago) link
https://i.ibb.co/HGDyBqd/Screenshot-20230906-102144.jpg
― Dinglebert Humperstink (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 September 2023 14:23 (seven months ago) link
Mambo No.5 is now a big culture war issue.
― van der gragt generator (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 6 September 2023 14:26 (seven months ago) link
mandatory work field trip to see Ricky Gervais standup
― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 March 2024 17:15 (one month ago) link
jfc
― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Friday, 8 March 2024 17:41 (one month ago) link
A.I. Generates EDM waltz music, floods all steaming platforms globally
― Agnes, Agatha, Germaine and Jack (Willl), Friday, 8 March 2024 18:19 (one month ago) link
(a i is two words)
― koogs, Friday, 8 March 2024 20:06 (one month ago) link
turns out COVID causes early dementia
― I painted my teeth (sleeve), Friday, 8 March 2024 20:08 (one month ago) link