Worst TV adverts of the moment

5 brothers ad. ruining pulp fiction music and making me want to smash.

Peter Mandelson

the new whiskers ad!

What is iPad?

iPad is thin!

dunno if it's on tv, but in the cinema i saw this appalling advert for calvin klein underwear, in which a succession of male models say stuff like "you wanna see my [bleep]?", over and over again. the bleep is the concept. and at the end one of them says: "what the [bleep] are you wearing?" n e way, oddly confrontational. guess it targets dudes w. low self-esteem (and, in this case, who like nicole holofcener movies).

[bleep]

sorry, was just checking how you get square brackets on non code stuff

the new whiskers ad!

Is that the one where the woman claims the cat is "having a friend over", ie. next door's moggy gets quid-a-pouch food too?

Because that advert really, really blows.

Halifax are the eternal champions of the mindblowingly awful ad campaigns. The current Radio Halifax ones for current eg.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7mmXeRvgLo
...although it does have Lionel Richie being thrown through plate glass window

i dunno, i found it quite amusing, and kind of surreal that LR would be appearing in an ad for a food brand he's most likely never heard of next to a sportsman he's most likely never to have heard of either.

http://files.adme.ru/files/news/part_2/22304/9lays.jpg

walkers are the UK equiv of american lay's both owned by pepsico and everycunt's heard of gary lineker rubbish advert

churhill - "told me he was in a tug of war competition" that womans voice and the blokes reaction. also, it's on ALL THE FOOKING TIME

we buy any car dot com. with the gang of people singing down the phone, hate the way that woman says her line really fast and looks smug about it.

I've been noticing a trend where the ad is basically the standard customer talking with a salesman. Except the gimmick is the customer is SHOUTING and EXCLAIMING!!! everything in a pseudo-ironic and completely obnoxious way. Almost like the company is saying "We know our customers secretly think that we think they are whining assholes! So we're going to be straight up about it and it'll appear ironic and funny!"

This gets on my nerves soooooo much. Some rent-a-car company does this on TBS or Comedy Central, the salesman is like "You just take any car you like." and the customer goes "CHOOSE ANY CAR???? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!" It's also in some Best Buy and Progressive ads.

"I CANT BELIEVE WHAT A DEAL I'M GETTING EVEN THOUGH I AM AN OBNOXIOUS, LOUD CUSTOMER!!!"

consumer's gettin' negged

guilty lols from the richie walkers ad.

Computer superstores like PC World do this sort of thing a lot. It's almost like they're saying "we know you are a total niddiock at computers, so why not come in and be condescended to by one of our slick-haired salesmonkeys?"

not on tv but still qualifies IMO:

http://consumerist.com/2010/08/summers-eve-to-ladies-if-you-want-a-raise-youd-better-douche-first.html

Dear confused.com, the internet is not the most important invention of the 21st century. It was in fact not invented in the 21st century at all, as millions (if not billions) of people around the globe could tell you. If you did not mean to insinuate this erroneous date of creation, but rather intended to convey that it is the most important invention that has ever been invented and remains in operation during this, the 21st century, I must still take issue with you. The wheel is still pretty important iirc. Microchips, heating, furniture. Most of us would not be able to access the internet without the invention of computers, or even, DUH, electricity. So please, please, please, stfu.

>Microchips, heating, furniture

Quite right, luckily McCain used to recognise the importance of the first, although they're remiss these days. Doubtless another feature of Britain under the ConDems broken, in the gutter, in pieces etc:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9R_QrbLDiw

Micro Chips were a real failure - soggy, and the packet was so small that you needed two.

enstein advertising bread? sample dialogue: "energy = mass times the velocity of an egg mayonnaise sandwich... stop thinking about the bread, albert..." dreadful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z2nLwEfAoo

Would be better if it ended on a long shot of a dog freezing to death.

Iceland party foods: stuff you could easily make yourself for a tenth of the cost!

you really couldn't, it's mega cheapness is the one thing it has going for it.

the advert for the pedigree chum jumbone where the manky dog jumps on the white sheets of the bed is stomach turning. they are obv trying to go for the cute youtube angle and seriously misfiring.

its

this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F57RqqsTRc

repulsive.

Online dating from Uniform Dating, as seen on TV, is for women and men in uniform and anyone who wants to date a man in uniform – date a policeman, date a fireman ...

wtmff

the kelloggs christmas advert.

Was it a dream or did I see an ad for Weetabix a couple of weeks ago featuring a talking family dog saying "get it down ya boy"? If so, I think this will be enough to put me off Weetabix forever, thanks.

Can confirm.

you didn't. dog is voiced by simon farnaby, the bloke with the conker for a head / head of pieface records in mighty boosh. (i have seen him twice walking about hammersmith, both times on a pelican crossing going in the opposite direction)

oh he's quite funny, or at least quite a likeable bloke in general. i just don't think a slobbering pet dog should be used to advertise quite-sloppy made-for-humans breakfast cereals. And then "get it down ya boy" is just... I don't know, it makes me feel really sick.

DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY Cat fucking Deeley going "Swish!" argh please god no

"Don't get into bed and dirty your sheets when it only takes it a minute to use Easy Feet !"

As if...

dunno how widespread it is but over here renault are running an absolute embarrassment of an ad comprising 90 seconds of meaningless random free love and let's all get along pseudo environmentalist platitudes over the obligatory clips of happy kids and norwegian executive golfers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaM3Ku_KKRw

This kinda makes me want to do horrible things to everyone involved in this advert. Including me for having such a violent reaction to something as painfully unimportant as an smug annoying advert.

All the Miller Lite ads where hot girls insult their customers (the ones who dress in 80's clothes and do things that no actual human being has ever done)

eh, you know the paul whitehouse aviva insurance ads which are puportedly humorous and consist of him being unfunny and doing daft voices? well they've not been great, wouldn't say the worst though. however today i saw the life insurance one, and fuck me, they only have whitehouse as a father watching over his family as they leave for a holiday, enumerating all the different ways they will be provided for, because dun dun dun, he's pan bread and he's talking about his life insurance policy. just horrible, especially because it's jarring in contrast to what had came before.

does he wear an hilarious false nose in the afterlife? it seems reasonable that the conclusion of his painful 10-year journey into deep, rounded characters and no jokes is a bunch of shitty adverts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVkVUJ3HaLA

How the mighty have etc etc.

Idgi?

Guy in the hat is Gaz Coombes from Supergrass.

Yes but I still don't understand

Boyfriend gets toast and jam all over the fascia of girlfriend's Toyota Yaris. Girlfriend gets revenge by deliberately taking a bad photo of boyfriend with Gaz Coombes.

Yea I don't understand either. The girlfriend should be happy that her boyfriend made the interior of her car slightly less boring by the application of breakfast condiments and toasted bread products. And Gaz Coombes? Guess that Liam was unavailable.

It's basically yet another car ad that tells us nothing at all about the product.

Can't wait to see Simon Fowler in the next Volvo campaign.

"The Day We Caught The Train (Because My Volvo's Engine Packed Up)"

"I never saw it as a coupe, it's more like a spacious estate"

Mark from Ride is lined up for the next Renault ad...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02i5GfKiVrQ
(@ 3 minutes)