Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

is this some sort of office survivor?

I feel accomplished when I wake up 5 mins before my alarm goes off
― iatee, Thursday, July 8, 2010 9:31 AM

^^^ this!

Christ, shut UP woman. Is it just how people speak in hindi anyway, or are you honestly someone who speaks incredibly rapidly and without taking a breath for 15 minutes at a stretch? Seriously, its like listening to an auctioneer.

Its like a little yammering radio batting constantly at my ears. AARRGH *puts on headphones*.

Pronounces bodega as "BO-dega" and seems really pleased with himself everytime he says the word, which is about once a day: "I'm going down to the BO-dega *pause* to get a bag of chips."

And I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure a convenience store is not even called a bodega if it's not owned by Puerto Ricans and it's not in NYC?

Also fuck you because every time you say it, I get "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes" stuck in my head.

And she said honey take me dancing
But they ended up by sleeping in a doorway
By the bodegas and the lights on upper broadway
Wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes

office mate at my new gig speaks about 5 times a day. and what he says is typically funny. it's so great :) :) :)

srsly the last 2 years are like a really bad dream

Yikes, now the endlessly talking accounts lady is sitting at her desk crying. Always so awkward :/

she just read this thread and that's why she's crying, trayce. that's why.

OH GOD DONT SAY THAT TO ME.

haha that is so mean

classic suggestion

UGGGHHH this is one of my most loathed things ever. Seems to be common among SE Asian ppl for some reason, mayb a cultural thing I dunno. A taxi driver did it the other day while driving me home - horked up a gob, wound down his window and hocked it out. BLEUGH. DONT GIVE ME YOUR PLEURISY YOU FUCK.

just to say some people have really fucked up phlegm issues they can't help, i have phlegm in my throat non stop...i have to do this sometimes cos it's hard to breathe otherwise! i don't ever spit it out or whatever in public but i do the hocking noise wherever i can most get away with it.

Yeah I guess thats a fair point :(

no need to feel bad, i was just repping for my phlegm brothers.

The guy at my place makes a point of doing it as loudly as possible and saying things like "that was a good one" so I think it's fair to say he's a stupid annoying dick. Some of your brothers in phlegm are giving you a bad name.

"I was telling my sixteen-year-old niece, I said "When you grow up, you can do anything you want. You can eat Gummi Bears and Mountain Dewbfor lunch every day, like I do. It's great!" Guy is 30 years old and has a beachball physique. He was trying to convince me to go try out a frozen yogurt stand for lunch.

Maybe he plans on eating the whole stand.

I mean, no wonder he has emotional problems and can't get along with people.

Actual email I just received:

Hi - via the new report what does true and false mean?

Sent from my iPhone

Do I just send her a link to dictionary.com? How is it possible to answer this without being patronising/condescending?

context is everything

True enough, I can't even see anywhere on the report I assume she is talking about where it says true or false.

I just emailed her back asking for more information...

pending confirmation of idiocy so

I'm more annoyed by the ham-handed use of "via." What the hell is that?

Bet they meant "vis a vis".

I have a coworker whom I quite like who always uses "vice" instead of "versus" as in "I think we should have the meeting over lunch vice having it after hours." I'm guessing it's some corruption of "vice versa."

So, I had a terrible day at work yesterday thanks to a couple of stupid annoying coworkers. It's much too long and dry to get into, but involved them requesting extra (and by all accounts unneccessary) work from me after I had already given them a stellar product.

The level of dipshittery involved:

The initial product that I gave them had been pulled together from a list of people who had already donated money to our organization, and who they had specifically asked me to look at for that reason. The request for additional info included the following as one of its many criteria: "[organization name] giving history, if any."

Bet they meant "vis a vis".

― more lunacy and witchcraft! (kkvgz), Tuesday, August 10, 2010 12:19 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

vis a vis how "i.e." is always used incorrectly instead of "e.g." [/pedant]

In contractual negotiations you really have to watch muddling up i.e. (the things you name are ALL you are referring to) vs e.g. (the things you name are just some of what you're referring to). Use the former when you mean the latter and you're screwed.

from an advertiser making his 5th round of changes (in one 12 hr period):

"Ok....here we go....and don't roll your eyes at me. I know I'm an anal retentive freak. I try to convince people that it's part of my charm! (of which I'm routinely accused of having none).

[...] [four paragraphs describing changes]

And I SWEAR this is it. I'm just on a word pruning spree. Maybe it's cause too many people talk too long to me at work all day, but I'm subscribing to the belief that "less is more" at the moment.

Thanks, Sorry, and all that jazz. I owe you a beer."

Kind of familiar...

ah yes. the magical "beer", that while never showing up is somehow supposed to make everything ok.

hahaha, yeah.

The "lol, ain't I a stinker?" writing style reminded me of someone...I almost wrote back "kid, why don't I just temp-ban you now and save us both a lot of trouble..."

If I had every beer I've ever been "owed" I'd be, er, very drunk...

One thing positive I will say about where I currently work is that I have been bought at least 6 beers for doing things for people. It helps that one of them is one of my regular work drinking buddies tho.

Oh man I am so guilty of the insincere beer offer at work... I'm going to go sit quietly and think about what I've done.

In 100% of cases, a beer is not what I want from an advertiser. I want an "ok to print."

I love when people like that, especially if you are in face to face contact with em, realize you're pissed and go either "Are you mad at me?" or "By now I'm sure you're pissed off at me" as they expect you to say "nawwwwwwww, it's ok" but it's impossible to withhold your disgust. I quit trying.

I tell people they owe ME a beer, frequently. Sick of doing favours for everyone at work.

Can confirm that it's pronounced bo-dega. how the fuck else?

I never got an answer from true/false woman. I assume she worked it out herself!

I got through 3 1/2 years of my job before blowing up and walking off the job (for a while). Yay me.

entire server goes down at work today and tech people give us a workaround, telling us we can check our email by using a replica of our mailbox.

..........

REPLICAS REQUIRE THAT THE SERVER THAT YOU HAVE THE REPLICA ON WORKS, AND THEY ARE ALL DOWN. AND, TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, IF YOUR PROGRAM WAS CLOSED OUT FOR ANY REASON, YOU CAN'T GET TO THE SCREEN WHERE YOU REQUEST THE REPLICA.

fucking idiots. it's like telling someone to FTP a patch when they call to say their Internet is out.

Our IT dept's favorite trick is to insist that we submit a help request via email when we call because we can't connect to the network/the computer won't start, etc.

The IT MANAGER actually kept telling me that he couldn't do anything until I submitted a help ticket when I called to explain that my monitor had shuffled off its mortal coil and I was unable to access anything or do any of the deadline driven, time sensitive work that comprises my job duties. I finally got him to understand the dilemma I faced, and explained that I had a deadline and could not work at all, and three hours later, he sent a tech over to bring me a new monitor. In the meantime, I finished my book. Thanks, tax payers!

Can confirm that it's pronounced bo-dega. how the fuck else?

― paulhw, Wednesday, August 11, 2010 9:41 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I would pronounce it bo-DE-ga, but he's started doing this recently too.

boddy-ga

I finally got a reply from true/false woman, edited for anonymity:

"if you tick no states false. So does false mean we haven't "xxxx blah blah blah" and true mean we have?

What do you reckon?

OK wow, what the heck, how does this woman get dressed of a morning?!

STATEMENT 1: Statement 2 is true
STATEMENT 2: Statement 1 is false

this one dept we use makes mistake after mistake, but if they make one to report it to em we have to fill out a stupid ticket rather than the old system where we'd open the original ticket. screw that -- you open the ticket after I report it to you by reopening the old issue. or stop making mistakes. uRHGGGGGGGGGHHHH.

Actually if you actually use the word 'actually' one more time I might actually scream, actually.