Bearsharktopus v. Bearotaur

what is hundred acre woods?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Acre_Wood

but back on topic - bearsharktopus FTW!

the key thing is that the bearotaur's strength and power only appears useful against things at his level of height - he is not going to be able to bend down so low as to damage bearsharktopus if it keeps itself low to the ground and goes for the legs

HELLO HUGE FUCKIN MACE!!!!!!

Maces that are stapled to yr hands aren't very effective

shaving octopus is making me cringe

it's like shaving your nipples off

... well, I suppose, only I don't have that many nipples

speak for yourself

HELLO HUGE FUCKIN MACE!!!!!!

hello! we already covered this!

Even if Bearotaur employed the morningstar it would only cause a slight gash in the furry dorsal feature.

so since people keep coming back to the mace, would it be safe to assume that you dudes would have also voted for "regular old bear with a mace" because i am trying to figure out what posi effect the horse legs really have here

beatotaur is a fucking bitch. put your spiky bat down and we'll see what happens.

― goole, Monday, June 14, 2010 3:10 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

i mean i guess that his terrible shame at being seen in public and being so damn stupid looking could maybe make him meaner and more itching for a fight

this reminds me of the time that a whole bunch of you saps were dead wrong on the riding dinosaurs jpg thread

another problem with the bearotaur is... you throw a salt block at it and the fight is over

"regular old bear with opposable thumbs and a mace" would beat both Bearotaur and Bearsharktopus easily

horse legs equal huge speed, heavy cavalry style with the mace, devastating.

Hows Bearsharktopus gonna fend that of with its spindly tentacles.

it is true that bearsharktopus might be so overcome with laughter wrt the lameness of bearotaur that he might get a cheap shot in but after that its all death in the briny deep

well, i don't think bearsharktopus is capable of laughter, per se, can sharks laugh?

You know, horses can deliver some filthy kicks.

it bothers me that there is any debate here, because A) yes, horses can deliver some filthy kicks. plus bearotaur B) is huge and filthy and has opposable thumbs with which to grasp not only grotesquely huge maces, but any other bashing things that might be within paw's reach. and he's fast as shit, right, because he's basically a huge horse with half a somewhat less huge bear strapped to him.

the bearsharktopus is tragically top-heavy and can barely support himself on his little furry legs. as you can see in the (artfully though misleadingly posed) photo, he's gonna topple forward onto his flopping appendages at any moment. at which point his fearsome teath will be good for little but gnawing sand.

bearotaur is majestic and stinky master of all he surveys. bearsharktopus is flopping, serrated monstrosity, master only of dorsal featurs. how do hair gills work? can he actually swim with dysplasiac bear hips? too many questions, not enough blows to the head. suspect he would be fearsome in a moggy swimming pool tho.

i don't think it is a fact at all that bearotaur has opposable thumbs! that is not established anywhere, you are being homosapien-ist assuming that just because bearotaur has a weapon like a homosapien, that it has opposable thumbs like a homosapien!

plus, bearotaur is really a misnomer as "taur" refers to a bull, and the bottom half of bearotaur is actually a horse, it's totally fronting with the name bearotaur

this is not a name contest. and horsotaur has to hold that mace somehow. maybe he has les sapienist opposable pinkies or extremely advanced cilia-type bear polyps on his palms like spiderman. there are many possibilities which have not yet been considered. the primary point is that bearsharktopus is primarily threatening to children who attempt to cuddle him at night, mistaking him for a large stuffed animal. so terror of faceless children, yes. threat to well-armed bearotaur, no.

or were you saying he should be called bearoquine?

the bearse bearotaur has the top half of a bear, why would you assume that his paws are not completely ursine? And would you be completely blasé when faced with the immense jaw and sharp teeth of bearsharktopus? I think not!

plus anyone, child or adult, that came into contact with the terrorizing countenance of bearsharktopus would end up faceless -- bearsharktopus would rip it off and eat it!

the paws are probably not totally ursine because they come equipped with mace. and if bears could carry maces, they would, and we would be totally fucked. even without the horse part. they would hit us with maces and then eat our cans of beer which we carried like 50 miles even though they are heavy (youtubes of this).

that said, i'm not inclined to be blase about my face, and therefore would therefore not likely entrust it to fursharktopus, who doubtless has plans in mind.

god shark eyes are really creepy

like squirrels

maybe if this battle were to take place on dry land, the bearse would have the advantage, but clearly, the epic confrontation will occur in the water, which is obviously bearsharktopus' domain, as it is 2/3 sea creature.

plus bearsharktopus is composed of multiple predatory creatures, so it would have a greater genetic need and capacity for hunting and killing, as opposed to the bearse, which is part horse, which is a grazing animal.

i mean, maybe if it was squirrelsharktopus and not bearsharktopus, then the bear-horse creature would stand a chance ...

so many wrong thoughts. the reticence and nobility of the horse give the bearseotaursesses an advantage over the trembly, blood-mad octobearoshark, who can really only comprehend the world in terms of the fleshy rended bits that will (hopefully) soon hang limp from its trembly shark lips. one might suppose that the brain of the wily, jar-negotiating octopus would grant similar adbvantage to the monstrosity, but no, because it's really only the tentacles, and tentacles are not notably the most intelligent part, being just tentacles.

plus bearotaur has elegance of design, very desirable quality. bearsharktopus is questionable, result of last minute weed inspiration, subject to harsh crit.

sqirrelsharktopus would be really funny in calamari. because of squirrel head which would look at you menacingly as you tried to eat it. terrifying in packs though.

plus, see? the hundred aker wood. shit comes around.

i like how the creature smart enough to get a weapon is the one assumed to be dumb enough to fight its opponent in the only conceivable environment that would be a disadvantage

and there you go

"taur" refers to a bull

Either your joking or your knowledge of mythological creatures is sorely lacking.

argh, you're.

lol @ all this.

wow btwn jj and hi dere fence-sitting on the green/brown banana question and now pash lolling @ this, i'm beginning to think that perhaps ILX mods aren't really in touch with the vital issues for the ilxor on the street.

uh.

:)

"taur" refers to a bull

Either your joking or your knowledge of mythological creatures is sorely lacking.

Don't get this - the Minotaur was half bull, not half horse, so surely sarahel's point stands?

Yeah but centaurs...

Centaurs aren't real, tho

But it doesn't follow the same word creation rule! It would be BEARTAUR.

Unless it is Mr. Bear O'Taur, perhaps.

fucking blame it on the irish, i see what's happening here

So, even if the etymology of bearotaur is from centaur rather than Minotaur (which I doubt very much, from the appended 'o'), the name STILL means 'bear-bull', 'centaur' most likely meaning 'bull-slayer'. So the bearotaur proves himself even weaker, having had to have the 'slayer' part of his name removed... BECAUSE HE IS A WUSS.