Cricket

God he's a berk. Like Sophia Gardens is a results pitch (if anyone other than the woeful Glamorgan is playing). Like either side is remotely capable of taking twenty at the Oval unless Monty develops something approaching variation; an arm ball, at least, would be nice. I'd incline to 1-1, maybe 2-1 England, myself, but the bat will dominate. Is it Lords, Sophia Gardens, Trent Bridge, Edgbaston, Oval? I know Old Trafford lost its spot (which is a spectacular case of the ECB shooting itself in the foot, given that that's the one strip that Harmison always looks the most terrifying bowler in the world on) the omission of Headingley is also less than bright in terms of actually wanting england to win games.

So England to win at Trent Bridge thanks to Jimmy Anderson, Aus at Lords thanks to Clark and Johnson, High scoring draws in Cardiff and at the Oval, so it's all down to Edgbaston. And Botham's a pillock.

That makes sense. I will try to make my own prediction once I see how "the lads" fare in their titanic 2-Test clash with tonight's Border-Gavaskar champions.

such ineptness yesterday. we had india 6 for 160-something and then took the foot off the throat because of the slow over rate. i reckon cricket aus bigwigs might've made ponting's decision for him, in which case they should resign if they want to put sponsors ahead of saving a series; but surely bowling watson off a short run would've been better than mr cricket's harmless trundling, clarke, white etc.

levelling the india series wouuld be worth ponting missing all the games vs the kiwis, imo.

SACK PONTING

He's already lower than Mark Taylor levels. Fuck, he's almost at Kim Hughes levels.

(And no, this does not mean promote Michael Clarke.)

Krejza for captain!

Three words: BRING BACK BOOF

(Those words are sponsored by A Salute to the Legends of the Sheffield Shield)

Weird how Peter Siddle didn't get another Test. I think he has something.

And are you talking about Mark Cosgrove?

No, I'm saying bring Darren Lehmann out of retirement (this was the sports policy of a minor Australian political party).

Yeah I know, but there's a new baby BOOF out there nowadays, a maverick who can't tidy his room. I think he's exactly what you need.

Yeah but I don't think Mark Cosgrove will ever come to terms with being a drinking, smoking, gambling fat bastard like Boof did.

Also racist, cf. "Black bastards!" when given out against Sri Lanka

Brilliant batsman mind.

And heroic Jayasuriya-style flat-left-arm pie-chucker to boot

Later sold out and turned his back on the great state of South Australia to become a spokesman for XXXX.

AUSTRALIA VERSUS AUSTRALIA TWENTY20 -- TONIGHT!!

As I have to get up at the crack of dawn to check out a place at Drummoyne, I'll be here watching the madness.

My mistake, it's Australia versus the Johnnie Walker XI.

OMG ROY IS BACK

as a long-time supporter of mr walker's product, i am excited

lol, what on earth ARE they wearing??

That bloody grey and gold again!

OMG THEY HAVE RED CARPET TONIGHT

Mr. Cricket is captain tonight which is a much better choice than Ponting or Der Bingle's Significant Other.

jeez this bloke's off to a flyer

That's a future Legend of the Sheffield Shield right there unless he does something stupid like get a regular Test spot.

SHAUN TAIT IS BACK

EVERYBODY'S BACK!!

I mean, I even saw Bruce Reid at the bar earlier.

was he snapped in half?

tait looking brisk as usual, if totally lacking any control

Dodgy decision?

0/50 in the third over!

Classy over from that man Tait.

they need to stop this 'music after every ball' nonsense, i mean really.

siddle nearly grabbed that!

why he didn't play instead of that pretender johnson in the fourth test, i'll never know.

BRAD HODGE, A CURRENT LEGEND OF THE SHEFFIELD SHIELD, TAKES THE CREASE

bye gilly ;___;

As the KFC XI take on the Johnnie Walker XI, I am reading a piece of EM Swanton from 1977 delightfully entitled 'And the devil take Kerry Packer': http://content-aus.cricinfo.com/cricketer/content/story/316467.html

FREE HIT!!!!!

Daniel Marsh! Here's a future Legend of the Sheffield Shield!!

The bloke looks like a Tasmanian that ate Boonie.

he comes out to the sounds of 'in between days'. wouldn't have happened in the old days!

Golden Duck!! That's the stuff of Legends (of the Sheffield Shield)!

slowed the scoring a bit now, they've still made 100 in 9 overs mind

I have a libelous anecdote about Mark Nicholas which I unfortunately can't share here.

o you tease

THEY GOT TWO KIDS ON THE OVAL WITH ROY

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME

<insert favourite pre-1977 English cricket writer> must be spinning in his grave at 8000rpm

Oh, COME ON. They let the kid field!

wu-tang roy is for the children

NATALIE BASSINGWAITHE PERFORMING HER LATEST HITS DURING THE INTERVAL -- DON'T CHANGE THAT CHANNEL