how do you hide underwater? it's clear!
― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:27 (thirteen years ago) link
wtf seawater is not clear!
― sarahel, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:34 (thirteen years ago) link
Only 37 people voted in this vital poll?
― Madchen, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 11:21 (thirteen years ago) link
more importantly, only 21 of them voted correctly
― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 11:22 (thirteen years ago) link
I think sarahel is without question otm and sharks hide underwater all the dang time. Bearotaur is up on their high horse legs and would never suspect bearsharktopus' tentacles OR gaping jaws. Even if Bearotaur employed the morningstar it would only cause a slight gash in the furry dorsal feature.
― peacocks, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 13:21 (thirteen years ago) link
there's no way that bearsharktopus could even swim ffs
― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 13:23 (thirteen years ago) link
i want to believe!
― sarahel, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:19 (thirteen years ago) link
next poll to include
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/science_and_environment/10461066.stm
― Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:42 (thirteen years ago) link
THIS RESULT IS A FUCKING TRAVESTY
― AESTHOLE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:45 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^^^
― based on logical thinking (HI DERE), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:46 (thirteen years ago) link
so magical awesome creature lost to basically a centaur with the added power of biting? wtf people
― AESTHOLE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:47 (thirteen years ago) link
john, you're a mod, can't you do something about this?
― sarahel, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:48 (thirteen years ago) link
come on bearsharktopus has a dodgy comb over
― Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:48 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah which just makes him MORE PISSED AND DANGEROUS
― AESTHOLE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:49 (thirteen years ago) link
embarrassing hairstyles are irrelevant here!
― sarahel, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:50 (thirteen years ago) link
I wonder if this piece of evidence re: the octopus capabilities might have changed outcomes:
http://www.sevennationarmy.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/octopus_lg.jpg
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:52 (thirteen years ago) link
agh
― based on logical thinking (HI DERE), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:53 (thirteen years ago) link
lets do a little reductive work here
BEAR VS. BEAR - DRAWSHARK VS. HORSE - SHARKOCTOPUS VS> CORPSE OF CRAPPY BEAROTAUR - OCTOPUS
― AESTHOLE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:55 (thirteen years ago) link
the key thing is that the bearotaur's strength and power only appears useful against things at his level of height - he is not going to be able to bend down so low as to damage bearsharktopus if it keeps itself low to the ground and goes for the legs
― sarahel, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 17:57 (thirteen years ago) link
Also it's all bearotaur can do to keep from barfing as he watches bearsharktopus groom himself. bearotaur will be sent running back to hundredotaur acre woods crying to christotaur robin. silly old bearotaur!
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 18:02 (thirteen years ago) link
for real lolz @ hundredotaur acre woods
― peacocks, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 18:11 (thirteen years ago) link
what is hundred acre woods?
― sarahel, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 18:16 (thirteen years ago) link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Acre_Wood
― Madchen, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 18:25 (thirteen years ago) link
but back on topic - bearsharktopus FTW!
― sarahel, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 18:33 (thirteen years ago) link
HELLO HUGE FUCKIN MACE!!!!!!
― Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 20:49 (thirteen years ago) link
Maces that are stapled to yr hands aren't very effective
― based on logical thinking (HI DERE), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 20:54 (thirteen years ago) link
shaving octopus is making me cringe
― got you all in ♜ ♔ (dyao), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 20:55 (thirteen years ago) link
it's like shaving your nipples off
... well, I suppose, only I don't have that many nipples
― based on logical thinking (HI DERE), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 20:56 (thirteen years ago) link
speak for yourself
― got you all in ♜ ♔ (dyao), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 20:57 (thirteen years ago) link
hello! we already covered this!
Even if Bearotaur employed the morningstar it would only cause a slight gash in the furry dorsal feature.
― peacocks, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:00 (thirteen years ago) link
so since people keep coming back to the mace, would it be safe to assume that you dudes would have also voted for "regular old bear with a mace" because i am trying to figure out what posi effect the horse legs really have here
― AESTHOLE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:03 (thirteen years ago) link
beatotaur is a fucking bitch. put your spiky bat down and we'll see what happens.
― goole, Monday, June 14, 2010 3:10 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark
― goole, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:03 (thirteen years ago) link
i mean i guess that his terrible shame at being seen in public and being so damn stupid looking could maybe make him meaner and more itching for a fight
― AESTHOLE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:04 (thirteen years ago) link
this reminds me of the time that a whole bunch of you saps were dead wrong on the riding dinosaurs jpg thread
― AESTHOLE (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:05 (thirteen years ago) link
another problem with the bearotaur is... you throw a salt block at it and the fight is over
― got you all in ♜ ♔ (dyao), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:09 (thirteen years ago) link
"regular old bear with opposable thumbs and a mace" would beat both Bearotaur and Bearsharktopus easily
― peter in montreal, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:37 (thirteen years ago) link
horse legs equal huge speed, heavy cavalry style with the mace, devastating.
Hows Bearsharktopus gonna fend that of with its spindly tentacles.
― Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 30 June 2010 21:42 (thirteen years ago) link
it is true that bearsharktopus might be so overcome with laughter wrt the lameness of bearotaur that he might get a cheap shot in but after that its all death in the briny deep
― Kool G. Frap (jjjusten), Wednesday, 30 June 2010 22:08 (thirteen years ago) link
well, i don't think bearsharktopus is capable of laughter, per se, can sharks laugh?
― sarahel, Thursday, 1 July 2010 01:32 (thirteen years ago) link
You know, horses can deliver some filthy kicks.
― Madchen, Thursday, 1 July 2010 07:09 (thirteen years ago) link
it bothers me that there is any debate here, because A) yes, horses can deliver some filthy kicks. plus bearotaur B) is huge and filthy and has opposable thumbs with which to grasp not only grotesquely huge maces, but any other bashing things that might be within paw's reach. and he's fast as shit, right, because he's basically a huge horse with half a somewhat less huge bear strapped to him.
the bearsharktopus is tragically top-heavy and can barely support himself on his little furry legs. as you can see in the (artfully though misleadingly posed) photo, he's gonna topple forward onto his flopping appendages at any moment. at which point his fearsome teath will be good for little but gnawing sand.
bearotaur is majestic and stinky master of all he surveys. bearsharktopus is flopping, serrated monstrosity, master only of dorsal featurs. how do hair gills work? can he actually swim with dysplasiac bear hips? too many questions, not enough blows to the head. suspect he would be fearsome in a moggy swimming pool tho.
― interstellar overdraft (contenderizer), Thursday, 1 July 2010 07:54 (thirteen years ago) link
i don't think it is a fact at all that bearotaur has opposable thumbs! that is not established anywhere, you are being homosapien-ist assuming that just because bearotaur has a weapon like a homosapien, that it has opposable thumbs like a homosapien!
― sarahel, Thursday, 1 July 2010 07:58 (thirteen years ago) link
plus, bearotaur is really a misnomer as "taur" refers to a bull, and the bottom half of bearotaur is actually a horse, it's totally fronting with the name bearotaur
― sarahel, Thursday, 1 July 2010 08:03 (thirteen years ago) link
this is not a name contest. and horsotaur has to hold that mace somehow. maybe he has les sapienist opposable pinkies or extremely advanced cilia-type bear polyps on his palms like spiderman. there are many possibilities which have not yet been considered. the primary point is that bearsharktopus is primarily threatening to children who attempt to cuddle him at night, mistaking him for a large stuffed animal. so terror of faceless children, yes. threat to well-armed bearotaur, no.
― interstellar overdraft (contenderizer), Thursday, 1 July 2010 08:05 (thirteen years ago) link
or were you saying he should be called bearoquine?
― interstellar overdraft (contenderizer), Thursday, 1 July 2010 08:06 (thirteen years ago) link
the bearse bearotaur has the top half of a bear, why would you assume that his paws are not completely ursine? And would you be completely blasé when faced with the immense jaw and sharp teeth of bearsharktopus? I think not!
― sarahel, Thursday, 1 July 2010 08:07 (thirteen years ago) link
plus anyone, child or adult, that came into contact with the terrorizing countenance of bearsharktopus would end up faceless -- bearsharktopus would rip it off and eat it!
― sarahel, Thursday, 1 July 2010 08:10 (thirteen years ago) link
the paws are probably not totally ursine because they come equipped with mace. and if bears could carry maces, they would, and we would be totally fucked. even without the horse part. they would hit us with maces and then eat our cans of beer which we carried like 50 miles even though they are heavy (youtubes of this).
that said, i'm not inclined to be blase about my face, and therefore would therefore not likely entrust it to fursharktopus, who doubtless has plans in mind.
― interstellar overdraft (contenderizer), Thursday, 1 July 2010 08:19 (thirteen years ago) link
god shark eyes are really creepy
― interstellar overdraft (contenderizer), Thursday, 1 July 2010 08:20 (thirteen years ago) link
BEARSHARK
A cursory web search finds no bands named something identical or similar to Bearotaur. Advantage: Bearsharktopus.
― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Wednesday, 13 January 2021 17:07 (three years ago) link