Bearsharktopus v. Bearotaur

although i will concede it could breath just fine down there.

in the episode of X-Files, the thing that could breathe underwater won vs. that which could not

Mulder was which one?

at any rate - the battle is not happening in the deep blue depths, but the shoreline in which both are photographed.

no, it was alien-human underwater hybrid breathing creature vs. helpful sewer system supervisor and before him, hapless sewer maintenance technician

basically bearsharktopus could employ a similar strategy and hide underwater until bearotaur enters the water, then knock bearotaur off-balance by grabbing bearotaur with the tentacles, then delivering fatal bites

how do you hide underwater? it's clear!

wtf seawater is not clear!

Only 37 people voted in this vital poll?

more importantly, only 21 of them voted correctly

I think sarahel is without question otm and sharks hide underwater all the dang time. Bearotaur is up on their high horse legs and would never suspect bearsharktopus' tentacles OR gaping jaws. Even if Bearotaur employed the morningstar it would only cause a slight gash in the furry dorsal feature.

there's no way that bearsharktopus could even swim ffs

i want to believe!

next poll to include

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/science_and_environment/10461066.stm

THIS RESULT IS A FUCKING TRAVESTY

^^^^^

so magical awesome creature lost to basically a centaur with the added power of biting? wtf people

john, you're a mod, can't you do something about this?

come on bearsharktopus has a dodgy comb over

yeah which just makes him MORE PISSED AND DANGEROUS

embarrassing hairstyles are irrelevant here!

I wonder if this piece of evidence re: the octopus capabilities might have changed outcomes:

http://www.sevennationarmy.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/octopus_lg.jpg

agh

lets do a little reductive work here

BEAR VS. BEAR - DRAW
SHARK VS. HORSE - SHARK
OCTOPUS VS> CORPSE OF CRAPPY BEAROTAUR - OCTOPUS

the key thing is that the bearotaur's strength and power only appears useful against things at his level of height - he is not going to be able to bend down so low as to damage bearsharktopus if it keeps itself low to the ground and goes for the legs

Also it's all bearotaur can do to keep from barfing as he watches bearsharktopus groom himself. bearotaur will be sent running back to hundredotaur acre woods crying to christotaur robin.
silly old bearotaur!

for real lolz @ hundredotaur acre woods

what is hundred acre woods?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Acre_Wood

but back on topic - bearsharktopus FTW!

the key thing is that the bearotaur's strength and power only appears useful against things at his level of height - he is not going to be able to bend down so low as to damage bearsharktopus if it keeps itself low to the ground and goes for the legs

HELLO HUGE FUCKIN MACE!!!!!!

Maces that are stapled to yr hands aren't very effective

shaving octopus is making me cringe

it's like shaving your nipples off

... well, I suppose, only I don't have that many nipples

speak for yourself

HELLO HUGE FUCKIN MACE!!!!!!

hello! we already covered this!

Even if Bearotaur employed the morningstar it would only cause a slight gash in the furry dorsal feature.

so since people keep coming back to the mace, would it be safe to assume that you dudes would have also voted for "regular old bear with a mace" because i am trying to figure out what posi effect the horse legs really have here

beatotaur is a fucking bitch. put your spiky bat down and we'll see what happens.

― goole, Monday, June 14, 2010 3:10 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

i mean i guess that his terrible shame at being seen in public and being so damn stupid looking could maybe make him meaner and more itching for a fight

this reminds me of the time that a whole bunch of you saps were dead wrong on the riding dinosaurs jpg thread

another problem with the bearotaur is... you throw a salt block at it and the fight is over

"regular old bear with opposable thumbs and a mace" would beat both Bearotaur and Bearsharktopus easily

horse legs equal huge speed, heavy cavalry style with the mace, devastating.

Hows Bearsharktopus gonna fend that of with its spindly tentacles.

it is true that bearsharktopus might be so overcome with laughter wrt the lameness of bearotaur that he might get a cheap shot in but after that its all death in the briny deep

well, i don't think bearsharktopus is capable of laughter, per se, can sharks laugh?

You know, horses can deliver some filthy kicks.

it bothers me that there is any debate here, because A) yes, horses can deliver some filthy kicks. plus bearotaur B) is huge and filthy and has opposable thumbs with which to grasp not only grotesquely huge maces, but any other bashing things that might be within paw's reach. and he's fast as shit, right, because he's basically a huge horse with half a somewhat less huge bear strapped to him.

the bearsharktopus is tragically top-heavy and can barely support himself on his little furry legs. as you can see in the (artfully though misleadingly posed) photo, he's gonna topple forward onto his flopping appendages at any moment. at which point his fearsome teath will be good for little but gnawing sand.

bearotaur is majestic and stinky master of all he surveys. bearsharktopus is flopping, serrated monstrosity, master only of dorsal featurs. how do hair gills work? can he actually swim with dysplasiac bear hips? too many questions, not enough blows to the head. suspect he would be fearsome in a moggy swimming pool tho.

i don't think it is a fact at all that bearotaur has opposable thumbs! that is not established anywhere, you are being homosapien-ist assuming that just because bearotaur has a weapon like a homosapien, that it has opposable thumbs like a homosapien!

plus, bearotaur is really a misnomer as "taur" refers to a bull, and the bottom half of bearotaur is actually a horse, it's totally fronting with the name bearotaur

bearsharktopus sux

Clearly bearsharktopus is the ultimate winner here, since bearotaur has run away.

fair point, but our cavedrawing tributes remain in tribute as secondary evidence

It's a movie now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTJ4Cv5ktE

Bump for contritionbearotaur sketchings, go

bearotaur and kanye kicking each other in the head forever would be a funny vision of the future

― sarahel, Wednesday, July 14, 2010 12:18 PM (ten years ago)

i kinda feel like we are living in that future rn

BEARSHARK

A cursory web search finds no bands named something identical or similar to Bearotaur. Advantage: Bearsharktopus.