Bearsharktopus v. Bearotaur

so are these SyFy original movies or what

I'm a sucker for suction cups, tbqh

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

a travesty - bearsharktopus should have won!

nonsense. it can barely stand.
the people have spoken.

bearsharktopus can both stand and swim! It can probably breathe underwater, unlike bearotaur.

if by "swim" you mean "thrash about frantically until it sinks to the ocean floor" i would be in agreement.

although i will concede it could breath just fine down there.

in the episode of X-Files, the thing that could breathe underwater won vs. that which could not

Mulder was which one?

at any rate - the battle is not happening in the deep blue depths, but the shoreline in which both are photographed.

no, it was alien-human underwater hybrid breathing creature vs. helpful sewer system supervisor and before him, hapless sewer maintenance technician

basically bearsharktopus could employ a similar strategy and hide underwater until bearotaur enters the water, then knock bearotaur off-balance by grabbing bearotaur with the tentacles, then delivering fatal bites

how do you hide underwater? it's clear!

wtf seawater is not clear!

Only 37 people voted in this vital poll?

more importantly, only 21 of them voted correctly

I think sarahel is without question otm and sharks hide underwater all the dang time. Bearotaur is up on their high horse legs and would never suspect bearsharktopus' tentacles OR gaping jaws. Even if Bearotaur employed the morningstar it would only cause a slight gash in the furry dorsal feature.

there's no way that bearsharktopus could even swim ffs

i want to believe!

next poll to include

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/science_and_environment/10461066.stm

THIS RESULT IS A FUCKING TRAVESTY

^^^^^

so magical awesome creature lost to basically a centaur with the added power of biting? wtf people

john, you're a mod, can't you do something about this?

come on bearsharktopus has a dodgy comb over

yeah which just makes him MORE PISSED AND DANGEROUS

embarrassing hairstyles are irrelevant here!

I wonder if this piece of evidence re: the octopus capabilities might have changed outcomes:

http://www.sevennationarmy.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/octopus_lg.jpg

agh

lets do a little reductive work here

BEAR VS. BEAR - DRAW
SHARK VS. HORSE - SHARK
OCTOPUS VS> CORPSE OF CRAPPY BEAROTAUR - OCTOPUS

the key thing is that the bearotaur's strength and power only appears useful against things at his level of height - he is not going to be able to bend down so low as to damage bearsharktopus if it keeps itself low to the ground and goes for the legs

Also it's all bearotaur can do to keep from barfing as he watches bearsharktopus groom himself. bearotaur will be sent running back to hundredotaur acre woods crying to christotaur robin.
silly old bearotaur!

for real lolz @ hundredotaur acre woods

what is hundred acre woods?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Acre_Wood

but back on topic - bearsharktopus FTW!

the key thing is that the bearotaur's strength and power only appears useful against things at his level of height - he is not going to be able to bend down so low as to damage bearsharktopus if it keeps itself low to the ground and goes for the legs

HELLO HUGE FUCKIN MACE!!!!!!

Maces that are stapled to yr hands aren't very effective

shaving octopus is making me cringe

it's like shaving your nipples off

... well, I suppose, only I don't have that many nipples

speak for yourself

HELLO HUGE FUCKIN MACE!!!!!!

hello! we already covered this!

Even if Bearotaur employed the morningstar it would only cause a slight gash in the furry dorsal feature.

so since people keep coming back to the mace, would it be safe to assume that you dudes would have also voted for "regular old bear with a mace" because i am trying to figure out what posi effect the horse legs really have here

beatotaur is a fucking bitch. put your spiky bat down and we'll see what happens.

― goole, Monday, June 14, 2010 3:10 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

i mean i guess that his terrible shame at being seen in public and being so damn stupid looking could maybe make him meaner and more itching for a fight

this reminds me of the time that a whole bunch of you saps were dead wrong on the riding dinosaurs jpg thread

another problem with the bearotaur is... you throw a salt block at it and the fight is over

"regular old bear with opposable thumbs and a mace" would beat both Bearotaur and Bearsharktopus easily

http://i29.tinypic.com/307n8ef.jpg

Bondage Goat Zombie vs. Bearotaur

the picture is kinda blurry - what Bondage Goat Zombie holds in its hoof is Bearotaur's Little Brain

did a goat zombie take that picture?

while drunk?!

and with auto focus off?

you saw the picture before you uploaded it and you thought it'd be fine, i'm happy with this out of focus picture to go up on the net for many people to see and went ahead and posted it?

lol that image is to the Bearotaur detractors what the Hitler billboard is to the tea partiers!

bearsharktopus sux

Clearly bearsharktopus is the ultimate winner here, since bearotaur has run away.

fair point, but our cavedrawing tributes remain in tribute as secondary evidence

It's a movie now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTJ4Cv5ktE

Bump for contritionbearotaur sketchings, go

bearotaur and kanye kicking each other in the head forever would be a funny vision of the future

― sarahel, Wednesday, July 14, 2010 12:18 PM (ten years ago)

i kinda feel like we are living in that future rn

BEARSHARK

A cursory web search finds no bands named something identical or similar to Bearotaur. Advantage: Bearsharktopus.