Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

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"ey Fabio this ain't the league mate" pretty much sums up dude's failings, yeah

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:14 (nine years ago) link

Arry is also a great exponent of 442. Sticking with Capello would be the 451 thing to do, IMO

^yes I went there

so you want Mark Ronson to cry into your ass (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:15 (nine years ago) link

Redknapp would be a disastrous international manager, he thrives on being able to bring in players to solve problems and if those players are just not out there in the 'market' I'm not sure he'd be able to fix things. Also the FA were pretty nervous about Venables' dodgy dealings and I'm not sure they'd take that risk with Redknapp. Also I don't want him to leave Spurs.

Hodgson at least has some experience as an international manager. He'll do.

Vulvuzela (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:15 (nine years ago) link

Far as I can see, only 3 English managers having any degree of success at the moment: 'Arry, Hodgson (off to the 'Pool) and, errrr, Steve McClaren. Go for the younger man I say.

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:16 (nine years ago) link

classic material from alan shearer's column in the sun today. it begins: "NO ONE likes kicking a man when he is down..."

oh yeah? http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/85000/images/_86318_alan_shearer_and_neil_lennon_after_kicking_incident300%2830-04-98%29allsport.jpg

joe, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (nine years ago) link

Remember when Kings used to lead their armies back in ye olde times? Get Prince William in there and make that sponger earn his salary from The FA.

They'll be dancing in the streets of Košice tonight (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (nine years ago) link

DAER SPURB FANZ wud u take swop caleppo and renkdapp

so you want Mark Ronson to cry into your ass (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (nine years ago) link

i can't remember where i read the slow cooking/fast food domestic league vs internationals analogy but i'd trust arry & sandra to whip a quick buffet sooner than fabio or woy tbh

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:18 (nine years ago) link

Redknapp, and I don't want it to happen for two main reasons, would be the ideal manager for this group, and I think that he's done well out of players he already had at Spurs as well as buying them in Matt.

Also, that would be ignoring that he could 'bring in' any number of players like Walcott, Huddlestone, Dawson, Rodwell, Wilshere, Zamora, whoever.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:18 (nine years ago) link

Bentley and Bent could suck it tho

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:19 (nine years ago) link

Did Arry really say that about swapping a bentley for a honda on BBC after the Japan game btw?

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:19 (nine years ago) link

Honda have quality cars, get into a Civic.

They'll be dancing in the streets of Košice tonight (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:20 (nine years ago) link

he did

it was a groaner but the shaggy-dog delivery was kinda impressive for a pundit imo

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:21 (nine years ago) link

Remember when Kings used to lead their armies back in ye olde times? Get Prince William in there and make that sponger earn his salary from The FA.

― They'll be dancing in the streets of Košice tonight (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Astride a horse = unwanted redux of Crouchch-on-as-sub high ball tactics

matthew ugh, son (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:23 (nine years ago) link

er, Crouch

matthew ugh, son (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:23 (nine years ago) link

DAER SPURB FANZ wud u take swop caleppo and renkdapp

― so you want Mark Ronson to cry into your ass (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes; Calippo would not

matthew ugh, son (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:25 (nine years ago) link

would definitely have capello as the successor to arry. he'd cane bentley up and down bill nick way imo

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:28 (nine years ago) link

sorry usually means you'll try not to let it happen again.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:36 (nine years ago) link

An idea that just occurred to me - absolute squad limits. Clubs pick their 23 men on day one and are stuck with them. You *can* buy youngsters to sit in the stands, but everyone would have to be honest about it. Any kids in the 23 would be guaranteed playing time. The other kids, if they had any useful mentality whatsoever, would go elsewhere. Also a handy way of (i) shifting talent down the pyramid a bit, and (ii) keeping budgets down a little.

Of course it'd have to apply to the premier league to achieve anything, and there's almost no incentive for the premier league to agree to it. Which seems to be the problem with English football in a nutshell.

Ismael Klata, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:37 (nine years ago) link

xp Try telling that to Bernie Taupin...

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:37 (nine years ago) link

Squad capped at 25 is not a new idea, i think, and yeah all for it.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:38 (nine years ago) link

Of course it'd have to apply to the premier league to achieve anything, and there's almost no incentive for the premier league to agree to it. Which seems to be the problem with English football in a nutshell.

Well quite. And expecting any new law to be followed in spirit rather than pushed to a meaningless breaking point is optimistic given the current climate. Now the question is, how far could the FA push the Premier League in theory, and why does it choose not to do so. DJ Shadow answers coming up after this break.

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:42 (nine years ago) link

Man utd and Chelsea would just break it with impunity anyway

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:43 (nine years ago) link

am I right that teams have to submit their 25 man league squads next season? Except you can play all the players under X age (I forget) you want. Will this make any difference?

NYC Goatse.cx and Flowers (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:47 (nine years ago) link

how far could the FA push the Premier League in theory

Is the ångström still a unit of measurement?

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:47 (nine years ago) link

cunt-hair is workable

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:48 (nine years ago) link

Prefer ba' hair

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:48 (nine years ago) link

am I right that teams have to submit their 25 man league squads next season? Except you can play all the players under X age (I forget) you want. Will this make any difference?

i think they're some stipulations about those under-25's, whether they're developed by the club, brought in, brought in from abroad, w/e. gets complicated.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:49 (nine years ago) link

This is like the Football League rules that I abuse on FM 2010 but having 4 crappy homegrown dudes on my subs bench every match, right?

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:01 (nine years ago) link

Yeah.

Was the thinking behind having 7 subs and not 5 iirc

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:02 (nine years ago) link

I think the foreigners debate is worth having but not in the Blatter 6+5 or the 'I'm a racist Sun reader but' sense. I just don't understand what football teams get from buying the majority of foreign footballers. Was John Utaka really worth spending all that money on? Couldn't Portsmouth have spent 1/50th of his wages+bonus+transferfee+agentkickbacks to improve their academy and potentially get a decent striker or three come through every year? What do Mido and Benni McCarthy offer West Ham that Sears and Hines don't, other than limited ability to move away from a pie stand? Southampton were able to create at least 2 wingers of Champions League ability in the past 10 years, the type of players that earned them 10m each, so they use that money to buy Papa Waigo? Is there really no more Bales or Walcotts coming through with the same coaching staff and techniques, so you go for Papa fucking Waigo instead? Or does the giant Senegalise population of Southampton bring in extra needed revenue?

Basically my point is our academies and coaching may suck but really they cannot suck so much that John Utaka seems a valid option ahead of them, surely? Until all academies in the country get to the point where they notice that they can make a Champions League ability player (which Theo is and Bale will be next season) instead of closing your eyes on Football Manager and clicking at random until you find your next signing, English football can get tae fuck. We will continue to have the Gerrard-Lampard debate because there is no-one else of the top quality to make the fucking first eleven, let alone the squad, let alone Premiership teams.

samuel :D (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:09 (nine years ago) link

I just don't understand what football teams get from buying the majority of foreign footballers

very much my point from earlier on. Redknapp style payoffs from agents?

What do Mido and Benni McCarthy offer West Ham that Sears and Hines don't, other than limited ability to move away from a pie stand?

consider this english-football imaginary board excelsiored

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:10 (nine years ago) link

lol tho theo walcott is not a champion's league quality player

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:11 (nine years ago) link

As of next season-

Clubs have to declare an A squad of which 8 must be trained (3 years in the country before the age of 21, i.e. buying a player from abroad at 17 is fine but as Brazilian's can't travel till 18, Rafael or Denilson for example, do not count) within the UK and 4 of those must be trained by the club itself. They may also declare a B squad of any youngsters under 21.

samuel :D (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:11 (nine years ago) link

just don't understand what football teams get from buying the majority of foreign footballers

*splutter*

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:12 (nine years ago) link

All morning now I've been thinking "ten two-footed dudes who can pass short" is the way to go, really.

― Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:09 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

england don't have ten of these guys- by the time they get to full-international age they've all given up and gone breadman

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:12 (29 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I should be posting this in the other thread, soz.

― Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:12 (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Remove Bookmark from this Thread

Clearly England don't, I was positing it as some kind of development plan.

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:13 (nine years ago) link

I know you are trolling so I won't go into it but I was thinking of smaller clubs making money or having top class players (and as lol as me saying it is, anyone who plays for a top 3 side usually = top class) come through their academy. Whether that guy who has demolished teams such as Liverpool and Barcelona and Porto in the CL is of that quality or not then you decide whether to troll or not. :)

samuel :D (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:14 (nine years ago) link

teams such as Liverpool, you say?

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:16 (nine years ago) link

Tom top level players are different. I can obviously understand what Torres or Drogba add. Or as I said in the other thread, Wigan's ability to buy foreigners makes perfect sense. But what has Newcastle's proven track record of buying from outside the country added to their game, let alone the national side, other than complete and utter failure? Did *sorry Ronan* Rafa need to buy 97 players in his time at Liverpool?

samuel :D (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:17 (nine years ago) link

demolished liverpool in that loss that time?

walcott has played in the CL, and if that's the only stipulation then that's the mark i guess.

I'll choke the first time someone describes benoit assou-ekotto or jermaine jenas as CL 'quality' players. I sincerely hope you think about that

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:17 (nine years ago) link

don't undertand the confusion about ahh's basic point- why do southampton need to buy a bad player from spain for ££££ as opposed to promoting a bad player from the reserves in that position?

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:18 (nine years ago) link

why do liverpool? Spurs?

were all of our right backs worse than alan hutton?

9m worse?

don't for a second buy that.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:19 (nine years ago) link

Tom top level players are different. I can obviously understand what Torres or Drogba add. Or as I said in the other thread, Wigan's ability to buy foreigners makes perfect sense. But what has Newcastle's proven track record of buying from outside the country added to their game, let alone the national side, other than complete and utter failure?

*cough cough* Scottish football *tumbleweeds*

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:20 (nine years ago) link

'xactly! 9 poxy million put back into the academy compared to the fucking pittance any club currently spends on it would give you four thousand alan huttons!

samuel :D (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:21 (nine years ago) link

Yes, why are English clubs wasting millions on players from a strange culture and who don't speak the language like Alan Hutton

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:23 (nine years ago) link

at least then we'd have more than one right back to take to the fucking competition let alone choose from.

samuel :D (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:23 (nine years ago) link

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT FOUR THOUSAND ALAN HUTTONS

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:25 (nine years ago) link

'twas a joke my maine, calm it

samuel :D (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:29 (nine years ago) link

fair pen imo

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:08 (six days ago) link

nuh uh give me more kosovo goals pls

oh lol

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:08 (six days ago) link

xxp

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:09 (six days ago) link

oof

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:10 (six days ago) link

Glad I bore with it

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:10 (six days ago) link

hahahahaha come back NV come baaaaack this is so much fun

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:11 (six days ago) link

these lads are a bit eh demonstrative

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:12 (six days ago) link

is this that forest keeper? he was good at the valley except for his kicking

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:12 (six days ago) link

starting to think that any free kick should be passed rather than shot regardless of position

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:16 (six days ago) link

england on the attack, given free kick when they had advantage, shot wide from 30 yards. just pick up where you left off

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:17 (six days ago) link

imagine in ten years time when that era's pep comes up with the idea of kickouts

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:18 (six days ago) link

I'm pretty sure this is terrible but it is's entertaining af

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:20 (six days ago) link

keane is such a graceless lump, what the hell is he doing in this side

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:21 (six days ago) link

england are so purposeless now, sancho and sterling aside. it's almost like GCHQ had a word at half time

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:26 (six days ago) link

wooof welcome to the game mason

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:31 (six days ago) link

kosovo #9 > kane

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:32 (six days ago) link

I'm pretty sure this is terrible but it is's entertaining af

― a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:20 (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

not messing but approaching these games like this is marketing/morale genius from southgate

stressing over tactics against vastly inferior teams is toxic, poch out

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:33 (six days ago) link

lessons I will never learn no matter what: 1. buying fruit from supermarkets 2. watching the latter stages of football matches I'm not otherwise arsed about when I notice an unusually high score

wot's the tea mum? (not beef again) (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:35 (six days ago) link

aggregate rien

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:36 (six days ago) link

omg

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:37 (six days ago) link

Ffs don't cut to a break while they're playing "Gold Dust", that were the highlight

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:42 (six days ago) link

Sancho made a moving tribute to his dead nan and the interviewer just ignored him and asked him about the 2nd half o_O

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:49 (six days ago) link


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