Banal phrases that pepper everyday office conversation

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I have a friend that speaks "office-ese" habitually. To her "going out drinking" is "implimenting a beverage consumtion plan of action".
She lost her job a while abck and I think she just needs a way to get that sort of jargon out of her system.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:52 (eighteen years ago) link

"Turn everything off, then turn everything on again, then turn the video off."

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:56 (eighteen years ago) link

In my mind, I'm trying to see if it raises any red flags.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Friday, 10 June 2005 11:42 (eighteen years ago) link

four months pass...

"I can't perform miracles here, I can only work with what i'm given"

― gear (gear), Saturday, 15 October 2005 04:55 (eighteen years ago) link

"just checking in on the ETA of that project you're working on. Sooner the better."

― gear (gear), Saturday, 15 October 2005 04:56 (eighteen years ago) link

"could you send me that file?"
"sure! (pause, typing...) you should be getting it....right....now..."
"thanks"

― gear (gear), Saturday, 15 October 2005 05:05 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha, good call on that last one!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 15 October 2005 05:10 (eighteen years ago) link

"hey i couldn't open that file, could you resend it?"
"oh i see, i should have sent it as a doc file, not as a txt file. you should be getting it....right....about.....now!"
"thanks"

― gear (gear), Saturday, 15 October 2005 05:13 (eighteen years ago) link

"I swear I'm not staying in this place another year"

― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 15 October 2005 05:14 (eighteen years ago) link

"I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page"

― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 15 October 2005 05:15 (eighteen years ago) link

"no, the channel editors do that now"

"yes, 18 hours a day"

"it's not within the window"

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Saturday, 15 October 2005 06:01 (eighteen years ago) link

"I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page"

See also "I just want to make sure we're all singing from the same hymnsheet".

"Just nipping out to Greggs, anyone want anything?"

"Oh, I can't have that, that's [consults Weightwatchers handbook] 14 points, and I've only got 10 left because I put butter on my toast this morning blah blah" FUCK OFF!!!!

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 15 October 2005 07:53 (eighteen years ago) link

"Obviously I reserve our client's right to comment"

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 15 October 2005 10:29 (eighteen years ago) link

"so when are we gonna fuck?"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 16 October 2005 06:14 (eighteen years ago) link

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Banal phrases that pepper everyday office conversation - report them here