Worst TV adverts of the moment

Remember the Oreck vacuum cleaner? "I can hold a bowling ball above my head with the powerful suction" - Quick! Switch off the power!

"But there's one thing I wont let her touch, MY COCK!!!!!!!!!!"

It's entirely possible that this is discussed upthread, but I became infuriated after just a handful of posts here, because they were making me think of brutal ads, and had to skip straight to the bottom.

But the one that's especially givin' me a headache these days -- played often on CNN and MSNBC (which we have our sets glued to here at the office) is one of IHOP's spicy popcorn shrip. The scenario is a popcorn-shrimp obsessed gym instructor who's strenuously leading his class through some shrimp-centric excercises while bemused muscleheads look on. What makes it so irritating is the instructor's SHRILL fuckin' castigations: "TAKE IT, AND DIP IT, AND DUNK IT, OOOOH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, TAKE IT AND DIP IT...!" It's exceptionally migraine-inducing.

I totally hate the Sears ad campaign starring Ty Pennington. I mean, not only is Ty Pennington one of the butt-ugliest guys ever to walk this planet, but the whole of the ad campaign is uselessly stereotypical and pro-breeder. Which is a shame because I actually really like Sears (i.e. my "high end" clothing store), but hey, I'd like for once for Sears to advertise a woman checking out miter saws and a man ogling the selection of dress slacks, end of ad. No kids. And no Ty Pennington.

The Nutri-Grain fruit bar commercial with the moving signs. You know a commercial has failed miserably when it compels you to turn the channel at the moment you see it start to come on.

The McDonald's chicken selects commercials. i.e., "Making Paranoid Schizophrenia Marketable 101"!

Any Total cereal commerical. "Provides you with 100% of the recommended daily amount of [x number of] vitamins and minerals in one bowl!" Um, have these people heard of the concept of THREE MEALS A DAY? Unless all you're going to be eating throughout the day is that one lousy bowl of cereal (in which case, wise nutritional choices are not going to be the strongest of your suits), you don't NEED to worry about getting ALL of the RDA of ANY of the vitamins and minerals recommended for keeping up a healthy diet!

There's some other car advert with a bunch of tortoises crawling along - what's that about? Is it saying there car is durable but slow as fuck?

I haven't seen this follow-up Michael Winner ad. FWIW, First Alternative refused to insure me because I work in television. Cunts.

The current one. Where some perfectly normal folk are settling into their sleeping bunk seat thingys, nods/smiles around. And they get to their destination the next morning, and all have turned into plastic supermodel types. The blokes also. And 'Alice Cooper' at the end, supposedly, too. Except it wasn't him in the first place but a younger version. (Maybe he took an earlie flight and had two regenerations like Dr. Who)

ANYWAY!!! PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE! AND SO THEY SHOULD BE!

(agreed re the KFC ads. They are fine. You can like the music and ignore the product.)

What I hate is that Kodak one with the smug voiceover guy saying how much "we miss real pictures, and we want them back!" Who the fuck are 'we'? Do they think we're going to believe this smoothe-voiced meeja cunt is speaking on OUR behalf? Fuck him! And fuck YOU Kodak!

And another thing about the Head and Shoulders advert: it doesn't make any fucking sense! If, as it points out, she has no problem wearing his aftershave, why is she suddenly unable to touch his shampoo just because it has the word 'men' on it? Aftershave is for men and that didn't stop her! I think they should go the whole hog and call it "Womanthrax." That'll stop the klepto-bitch from touching it.

hell yeah! but she'd have to have the manly man power-tool salesdude making untoward comments and trying to scam her into buying something more expensive.

It's not so much the ad itself which annoys me but the fact that they're doing another one with...wait for it...Johnny Vaughan. Unfortunately I suspect he won't the one who gets hit by the car, followed by the slogan "Should Have Happened Ten Years Ago."

Oral B Brush Ups - Rip, Slip, Brush....ARGH!

I don't understand it, he's obviously on the verge of some kind of breakdown, and no wonder being in a job like that just so he can afford the car? I bet he's driving home to attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and end it all.

KILL ME NOW

No, this is genius!

Haha those Michael Winner ads have gone beyond the annoyance horizon and now I just chuckle weakly and sip more gin.

last night, i was laughing out loud because it was like they'd set up the commercials just to make toby swear at the screen (1st the levis gang/shakespeare ad, 2nd the san miguel 'you know ines de cortes?!' ad, 3rd the toyota 'he stole my car!!' ad, and followed up by the orange board with daryl hannah 'you're a idiot')

i said that was such a bad sign that we should just leave before the movie started (especially when they previewed 9 songs again. ugh). i was right, turns out.