fake Hold Steady Lyrics

We drove out to the lake with a case full of Miller
and Springstein on the ra-a-a-dioooooo

― sinister chemical wisdom (Jenny)

20,000 kids making out to the strains of bob seger
she said she knew the roadie but I didn't believe her
(insert reference to minneapolis rock scene landmark)

― congratulations (n/a)

She never thought that Jesus was her savior
He was always just a scenester
But she never said anything
'Cause she was worried that he'd leave her

― Jack Human (kenan)

Some children died the other day
We fed machines and then we prayed
Puked up and down in morbid faith
You should have seen the ratings that day

- Marilyn Manson

Lacks a Billy Joel reference

A think tank of aloof multiplication
A nicotine wish and a columbus decanter
Retrenchment and hoggishness
The aristocrat choir sings
"What's the ruckus?"
The haves have not a clue
The immenseness of suffering
And the odd negotiation, a rarity
With onionskin plausibility of life,
And a keyboard reaffirmation.

There was an Ybor City riot
It was like Iggy Pop's The Idiot
all sheet metal and violence
and now the dum dum boys are silent

She sticks herself in the shower and kneels down to pray
She says it's like karaoke, but not in a bad way

Hollie came in all stoned and dethroned
Talking through her teeth to the prepaid phone.
She said, "I'm all chained up to Jesus and Mary,
cause I got born again in the apothecary."

We got drunk and we got high and we never made it out of the back room
(Whoo-oo-oo)
I had mystical vibrations and and said she had to go to the bathroom
(Whoo-oo-oo)

That hippie chick was full of shit when she sold us hits out by St. Anthony's Falls.
She said that Anthony's from Padua, but the only Anthony I know is from Wayzata.
We were trippin' balls.

She was chewin' on a hangnail the first time she took me back to her place
She had a Tweetybird backpatch on her jacket and a rash on her face
I think this coffee is laced!
So turn up the Ace of Base...

Are these red stains Faygo, baby? Or have you been making crystal meth?
Have you been talking about what happens to your soul after death with some roly-poly Juggalette with drugs on her breath?

Your mom almost killed me.
Your mom almost killed me.
Your mom almost killed me.
Your mom almost killed me.
Your mom almost killed me.

He was half-dead out in Hopkins
She was makin' out in Maple Grove.

The kids were taking acid that they bought during the Phish show
Jeannie got molested while Jewel played on the radio

kingkongvsgodzilla otm

Thanks! My favorite so far is Brad Nelson's line about the prepaid phone.

We started out like the strings on Prince's guitar
But things went down more like Har Mar Superstar
Greasy and tubby and hot and white
Dancin' to eighties music under the barlight

how well would Hold Steady lyrics transplant elsewhere in the world?

I was forty she was flighty, she wore uggs and her best nightie,
We got too high for higher thoughts, made out in tesco forecourt

Yesssss

He'd been my room-mate since college
but this hood rat chick was his latest prize
Doing anal on our new white couch
Dirty trucker hat pulled down over his eyes

The dirt and stains on it reminded him of girls
Eyes closed he could almost see her
"Fuck washing a hat" he used to say
And then we'd send out for pizza

He said he'd been to Australia
Learned to play didgeridoo
Hung out watching rugby
And got high with kangaroos

Perhaps Ben Ratliff from the NY Times has been reading this thread. (Scroll down):

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/03/arts/music/03choi.html

Bad case of reviewer being half as funny and clever as he thinks he is, and doing disservice to both reader and record as a result.

it's a pretty good review i think. ("it was two years since irony": heh.)

Much amusement

Oh my god yes:

Everyone's been calling me Disco Doug / Cuz I've gone out of style but the kids still want my drugs
9:57 PM May 23rd via web

I told her hard drugs are for bartenders when she pulled out the E / She said, "How many times you gonna tell me that?" I said, "Three."
4:17 AM May 10th via web

Cryin' over here.

It is pretty great, yes.

the minnesota thunder reference was too much, and the nicollet mall one, must be someone from mpls

would be awesome if it was really him

The weird thing about the second quote I posted is that it would fit pretty well into "Ballad of a Thin Man."