thread to get over a breakup

Oh, Trayce, what a meltdown. My best pal let her ex keep living with her for four months after they broke up. It sounded really lonely & painful. This was six years ago, but still sometimes she'll mention how she would have felt a lot better, about life and herself, if she'd have said, "Just move in with the new chick, or figure something out, but get out of here." She's her and you're you and I'm not trying to tell you "Trayce, do X bcz I, internets person, know what is best for you." But if you've been entertaining those thoughts, don't ignore them. Also, ****hugs****

I feared this eventuality for a long time. It just blows that it came to pass. Starting all over again and thinking of trusting *anyone* is so hard.

Bla bla whine. Sorry.

Pretty sure this situation more than entitles you a bit of bla bla whine. and this is really the thread for it. mega sorry trayce.

an anecdote offered to the unwashed mashes of ILX

Board description!

Hey thanks to you all btw - this is an incredibly difficult thing for me and it means a lot that youse guys have some kind words and good advices.

<3 trayce, you'll get through this, take care of yourself and don't worry if you fuck up a bit here and there, there's no perfect way to do anything.

the less worthy part of me can't help thinking he would be a bit less attractive to his new girl if he suddenly had all sort of boring logistical problems.

I keep wondering similar. Its like.. if I was in her shoes, wtf? I stole someone's guy, well thats a great way to hook up with someone innit?

if he has financial troubles, it's the new gf's problem - not yours. he should be shacking up with her if he can't afford something else. why does he want to drag this out for you? you both want to remain friends, but imo this is the sure way to ensure you ~won't~... resentment's gonna start building and it'll eventually destroy any last bit of good will that remains.

Or if it's unfeasible for him to stay with the girl, can he stay with friends? Even if it had to be a different sofa each week - surely worth it to take the burden off you?

ksh speaks many truths above.

the less worthy part of me can't help thinking he would be a bit less attractive to his new girl if he suddenly had all sort of boring logistical problems.

perfect point made perfectly. but it would also be a lot easier on you for the time being, and if he can't understand or doesn't care why that's important, then.... y'know?

my ex and I are finally getting along now but aren't real tight friends. I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. Now, in the words of Jay-Z, "on to the next one"

Last night R came home (finally) and we had a big hugathon and talked baot things, and it was all terribly sad and I don't quite know what to think. But he's at least trying to be good to me.

I cant decide if that makes it better or worse.

it was all terribly sad

:( i feel for u

feel like i need a thread to get over when two friends of mine are breaking up w each other. "it was all terribly sad" is like a recurring keynote in that partic. story. involves a kid from a prev. relationship being "left" again and a few late-night conversations which leave the sucky bleak realities dawning flatly clear through bleary eyes, out there to be looked at and dealt with somehow.

it didn't work out. "it didn't work out". it didn't "work out". it didn't work out. numbly to the next thing, the practicalities. how to tell, what to tell, who goes where now, or when, how will anyone pay for anything. & whatever fresh rounds of hurt there are still left to play out. not my story to tell but it's all terribly sad tbh.

Oh god, a kid. I think I need a thread to get over your post. :' (

But he's at least trying to be good to me.

trayce, i feel you, but listen to yourself here. at least hes trying to be good to you?! he broke up with you and is now making your life miserable. you can think of him fondly in a few years, right now, kick him the fuck out.

^^^

^^^^

trayce, i feel you, but listen to yourself here. at least hes trying to be good to you?! he broke up with you and is now making your life miserable. you can think of him fondly in a few years, right now, kick him the fuck out.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
let's dial it back a little

him >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the fuck out

http://rofl.wheresthebeef.co.uk/Get%20the%20Fuck%20Out%2001.jpeg

LOL. Yes well, thanks all. I guess.

so my "best friend" and his girl are on facebook, both simultaneously leaving cryptic status updates that suggest something is amiss -- doesn't look like they're fighting, but that something major happened and both of them are upset. It just strikes me as poor taste to do something like this. I don't think any of us need to see the intimate interworkings of their relationship struggle, no more than we need to be constantly assaulted with their nauseating hyperbolic love notes that they send every hour on the hour. Just feel like if they want help and support from their friends, they should ask for it rather than indirectly hint that they need it. Plus it's uncomfortable because you know, do you say anything, or not?

I put "best friend" in air quotes because he is more best friend in name only, raelly another one of my guyf riends who is more reliable has taken his place. I have known him fifteen years, but the only words of support he could muster when I told him I broke up with my ex (the first time) was "sucks". When my dog died, that I was really attached to, his only message to me was "Aw", while other friends called me. Meanwhile, when he got divorced, I did everything possible to help him and be there for him, including moving in (I don't live with him anymore).

So I'm torn as to whether I even feel like offering support at the moment, because he's in his own little world now. But I feel like one of us needs to be the bigger person. Think I'll just wait for him to ask for help. Besides, I'm still having my own issues getting over my last one, which is startin to get ridiculous since we split on Halloween :/. Although I suppose time is not what matters as much as how you feel about the person.

also note I mean it's awkward that they posted all this on facebok for the world to see.

lucky it's not awkward for you to go on about it here

a bit different iirc

thread to get over other ppls breakups

it's sad, they were other ppl

sic: how are the two even remotely comparable? On Facebook they're using their real names and displaying these personal details for everyone they know to see, which is akin to airing dirty laundry in public. Nobody here knows who my friends are, I haven't named their names or even gone into any specifics of what they posted there. No idea what you're on about.

we need a thread to get over thread to get over a breakup

Pooping During A Breakup

well some breakups go on for a couple hours, so i'm pretty sure that there's a chance at least of a #2

You could just "hide" both of their updates until it's over, if it's bothering you so much.

just to xp a little bit - Trayce, chuck all his shit on the curb and eat mr noodles for a few months so that you can afford the rent all on your own - don't let this asshole take advantage of you!

Isn't Mr. Noodles an ilxor username?

yeah, from waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day

lol well maybe a little early to jump into a new relationship but cheap ramen is always welcome.

abbott i think its bothering him that he has now seen these updates and does not know how to react

obviously

from what he posted

imo

Right, I also thought that the constant barrage of updates was a secondary and minor continuing issue, near as I could tell, which Is why I said what I did.

I considered it, then whatever "it" was apparently blew over. truth be told I have a lot of tweaking to do with my base facebook settings anyway, so this gives me an excuse.

Isn't Mr. Noodles an ilxor username?

At first I thought Finefinemusic was referring to the former ILX poster Mr. Noodles, so it was kinda hard to parse her post.

^ non-native

"former ILX poster"

former canado-fascist ilx mod, surely?

we need a thread to get over thread to get over a breakup

― ksh, Monday, May 3, 2010 12:05 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i lol'd

Geez so Mr. Noodles the thirty-three cent pack of ramen is a Canadian thing eh? Damn.

Don't eat Mr. Noodles...he might not appreciate that.

TBH, back in the day I always confused Mr. Noodles, Noodle Vague, and Donut Christ with each other. It's easier now when only one of them is left.

how in the world did you confuse donuts and noodles?