The most interesting pieces of soccerball trivia you know (that are 100% false)

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7. Frank Sidebottom made 14 appearances from the bench for Manchester City in th 1973/74 season

8. Israel's 1970 World Cup squad spent 3 days in a London CGI studio recording the motion capture for the football scenes in Disney's Bedknobs and Broomsticks

Thomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:26 (sixteen years ago) link

15. Sir Alex Ferguson was the original choice for the role of Jimmy Krankie

Tom D., Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:26 (sixteen years ago) link

16. Doncaster Rover's official matchday theme song is MC Tunes' "The North at its Heights".

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:27 (sixteen years ago) link

17. Graham le Saux is actually as thick as fucking donkeyshit.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:28 (sixteen years ago) link

18. Pat Nevin can be heard dropping an ecstasy tablet in the background of The Durutti Column's "English Landscape Tradition".

King Boy Pato, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:28 (sixteen years ago) link

19. Angelo Di Livio has no anus

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:29 (sixteen years ago) link

20. Accrington Stanley were named in honour of Paul Stanley of Kiss, the so-called "Starchild" of the band

Tom D., Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:29 (sixteen years ago) link

21. Frank McAvennie once lost a battle of the bands to Tallulah Gosh

Thomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:29 (sixteen years ago) link

22. Bobby Robson could once remember his own name

Thomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:30 (sixteen years ago) link

23. Molineux is the only ground in the English league with an M in its name

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:30 (sixteen years ago) link

24. David Seaman is godfather to Donny Tourette.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:30 (sixteen years ago) link

25. In 1990, Andy Hinchcliffe became the first ever white footballer to play a full league match for Everton

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:31 (sixteen years ago) link

26. Ulises De La Cruz' real name is Richard Higgins. A native of Blackheath, he adopted the gimmick of an Ecuadorian footballer who donates his salary to his home village from a recurring minor strip in the short-lived 1990s relaunch of Roy of the Rovers. The strip centred around De La Cruz' far-fetched exploits to support the fictional village of Piquiucho and was once famously described by Alan Parry as "the second most racist thing I have ever seen".

That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:31 (sixteen years ago) link

27. Steve McClaren is the most successful England manager in terms of second quarter records, with his England team conceding 0 goals and scored on average 0.15 goals per match in all matches between 22:30-45:00.

ken c, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:32 (sixteen years ago) link

28. The Brazillian version of Deal Or No Deal is hosted by Cafu wearing a sailor's outfit.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

29. During a fourth round tie in the 1976-7 season, Mr Brian Kettlechip of Bradford became the first supporter in England to give a fuck about the League Cup. The feat has yet to be repeated.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

30. John Robert Parker Motsoncroft, OBE (30 August 1939 – 25 October 2004), known professionally as John Motson, was an English disc jockey, radio presenter and journalist. Known for his eclectic taste in music and his honest and warm broadcasting style, John Motson was a popular and respected DJ and broadcaster. He was one of the first to play reggae and punk on British radio. His significant influence on alternative rock, Pop, British hip hop and dance music is acknowledged. He was the longest-serving of the original DJs of BBC Radio 1, broadcasting on it from 1967 until his death in 2004.

Thomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

31. An anagram of Rangers FC is "Hot Anal Nuns".

King Boy Pato, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

32. That Was A Toepoke

That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

33. They'll bring back the Watney Cup.

King Boy Pato, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:34 (sixteen years ago) link

34. Players at the Ryman's leagues second-most famous breakaway club touch a sign above their heads' proclaiming 'This is Enfield' before taking to the pitch.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:34 (sixteen years ago) link

35. Ever wondered what happened to the bits of 'Dead' from Mayhem's skull that didn't get made into a necklace? Next time Jan Aage Fjortoft is on Footballer's Cribs, take a close look at the headboard above his bed...

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:35 (sixteen years ago) link

36. Jay Boothroyd was an original member of Another Level, eventually being replaced by Dane Bowers when his football career took off

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:35 (sixteen years ago) link

37. Hardline Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad is an ardent follower of St. Mirren FC: the result of a torrid teenage affair with former Saints midfield hardman, Billy Abercrombie.

Tom D., Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:36 (sixteen years ago) link

38. In terms of goals per minutes on the pitch, the most prolific striker of all time is Ricky Shakes.

That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:37 (sixteen years ago) link

39. The Royal Engineers enjoyed an unbeaten run of 257 matches between 1907 and 1916, which only came to an end after the side's 5 England midfielders were wiped out on the first morning of the Battle of the Somme.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:37 (sixteen years ago) link

40. Your favourite footballer is Ebbe Sand.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:38 (sixteen years ago) link

41. Viera vs Keane was a work.

That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:39 (sixteen years ago) link

42. Sammy Lee holds two European Cup winners medals and represented England on 14 occasions.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:39 (sixteen years ago) link

43. There is no scientific evidence that Scottish Third Division club Stenhousemuir actually exist

Tom D., Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:39 (sixteen years ago) link

44. The first American to play in the English First Division was Samuel Butthurt IV who was goalkeeper for Oldham Athletic between 1920 and 1932.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:40 (sixteen years ago) link

45. West Adelaide FC was a football team.

King Boy Pato, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:41 (sixteen years ago) link

46. "lol britpop zing culture" was invented by Walter Winterbottom, who once passed the time between England games by writing sarcastic missives about The Hollies to the Daily Telegraph. None were ever published.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:42 (sixteen years ago) link

47. Kenny Miller holds dual Scottish and Argentinian nationality, but opted to play International football for Scotland as he had never heard of Argentina.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:43 (sixteen years ago) link

48. When Roy Keane goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

ken c, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:43 (sixteen years ago) link

49. There are no steroids in football. Just players Roy Keane has breathed on.

ken c, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:44 (sixteen years ago) link

50. On an average football pitch there are 1,242 objects Roy Keane could use to kill you, including the pitch itself.

ken c, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:45 (sixteen years ago) link

51. Before becoming a professional soccerball player, Alexei Lalas was already an accomplished American footballer. His 46/-----%$34 pipecock return for the Tallashassee Goddammits in the 1991 Ultraplayoff was briefly an all-time record, but was famously shattered just weeks later by Jody "Zif" Stokenbokker Jr.

That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:46 (sixteen years ago) link

52. Matthew Etherington has been out of contract at West Ham for the last 18 months, but manager Alan Curbishley doesn't have the heart to tell him.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:46 (sixteen years ago) link

52. Martin Jol played bass for Focus from 1971-74, including on their Top 20 hits, "Hocus Pocus" and "Sylvia" but left before the recording of the "Mother Focus" album citing disilusionment with band's lurch towards jazz rock. He and Thijs van Leer have not spoken since.

Tom D., Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:47 (sixteen years ago) link

53. Gordon Banks was the first man to say "fuck" on British television in 1966 during an interview on Southern Television's regional news programme, 'Day by Day'.

King Boy Pato, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:48 (sixteen years ago) link

54. Stewart Downing? Fuck off.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:49 (sixteen years ago) link

55. Gil-Scott Heron's dad's tenure at Celtic was only the tip of the 'late 60s/early 70s black musical revolutionaries with Scottish footballing connections' iceberg. Albert Ayler's aunt spent two years as a madam in Dundee FC's onsite brothel, while no less than four of The Last Poets' mates from school appeared in a St Mirren-Kilmarnock match in 1971

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:50 (sixteen years ago) link

56. The footballs used in the 1962 World Cup were designed by Salvador Dali. Goalkeepers complained that they were too light and moved unpredictably in the air. Also that they had teeth.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:51 (sixteen years ago) link

57. Niall Quinn likes to steal from the sweet jar in the corner shop while the shopkeeper is busy counting out panini stickers

Thomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:52 (sixteen years ago) link

59. Yahtzee was originally developed as a pre-pools panel method of determining the score of postponed games. It was abandoned when the first result it came up with saw Aston Villa beat Fulham 259-38.

William Bloody Swygart, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:52 (sixteen years ago) link

60. Never go on a camping holiday with Stan Collymore.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:53 (sixteen years ago) link

61. The first tie to be decided on penalty kicks was the 1968 Fairs Cup quarter final between Leeds United and The Art Ensemble of Chicago

Tom D., Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:54 (sixteen years ago) link

62. Winners of the Raich Carter Trophy automatically qualify for the latter stages of the UEFA cup

Thomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:54 (sixteen years ago) link

63. Instead of listening to The Shins, the original script of Garden State called for Zach Braff to gave in amazement at a poster of Rui Costa, a scene that was later changed due to strained relationships between the US and Portugal.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:54 (sixteen years ago) link

179 jordan henderson can be seen dressed as an SS officer in the background of the 22/10/02 edition of 'songs of praise'

nakhchivan, Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:06 (thirteen years ago) link

180 ian holloway was deported from israel for defecating beside the wailing wall

nakhchivan, Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:08 (thirteen years ago) link

181 during chris hughton's time writing for the morning star, he was among a delegation to albania that kicked to death an 'ideologically unsound' parrot for the personal entertainment of enver hoxha

nakhchivan, Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:10 (thirteen years ago) link

182. Tony Pulis reproduces by parthenogenesis.

absinthe of malithe (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:14 (thirteen years ago) link

183. Owing to a rare genetic abnormality, if you cut Trevor Brooking he bleeds Claret and Danish Blue.

absinthe of malithe (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:16 (thirteen years ago) link

184 neil ruddock attributes his lactose intolerance to a curse from a gypsy girl who he projectile-sharted all over in nursery school

nakhchivan, Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:26 (thirteen years ago) link

185 adam lallana was convicted for stealing a bart simpson toothbrush from the havant branch of superdrug

nakhchivan, Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:32 (thirteen years ago) link

186 ruel fox was fired from the fox soccer channel in 2005 when execs discovered a passage in the news corporation 'ethics' guidebook that prevents employees from sharing the name of a product

nakhchivan, Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:40 (thirteen years ago) link

187 Lee McCulloch was born Zephyrinus de Roumanie Mircea Bourbon-Parma, Prince of Hohenzollern and twenty-sixth in line to the Romanian throne, but for twenty years has lived life as a Caledonian commoner following an unfortunate impulsive decision made after watching Disney's 1990 adaptation of The Prince and the Pauper.

Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 9 December 2010 21:49 (thirteen years ago) link

188 sidney samson's dance hit 'riverside' was inspired by chod, a teeside hardcore continuum offshoot that samson discovered during visits to his stepbrother, marvin emnes

nakhchivan, Friday, 10 December 2010 01:21 (thirteen years ago) link

189 hugo viana curbstomped a gateshead bookie in a 2004 dispute over the authenticity of pessoa's english-language poems

dioufy (nakhchivan), Friday, 10 December 2010 05:15 (thirteen years ago) link

190 yuri zhirkov received a fine for littering in New Haven CT, pleading via an interpreter that he believed this was within his rights as a visiting dignitary

salvia divanorum (nakhchivan), Sunday, 12 December 2010 16:15 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

191. Mark Bright delivered his first son, specifically so he could ensure the first words the child heard were "There is no Father Christmas".

William Bloody Swygart, Saturday, 29 January 2011 20:10 (thirteen years ago) link

192. The French FA refused to recognise the Offside law until 1983 as they were unable to agree on a suitable Gallicisation of the word.

Cars and Freedom (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 29 January 2011 20:41 (thirteen years ago) link

193. Peter Withe is a popular manga character in Japan due to his resemblance to the deity Ebisu.

Cars and Freedom (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 29 January 2011 20:50 (thirteen years ago) link

194. http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Dubious_Goals_Committee&diff=412443044&oldid=412441598

Trying to take this concept out into the wider world a little.

Bad Fucking Dowie (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 7 February 2011 00:08 (thirteen years ago) link

Nani replaces Manuel Almunia (o.g.) in Manchester United's 3-1 win against Arsenal.

this is such, such bullshit

acoleuthic, Monday, 7 February 2011 00:38 (thirteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

Former Tottenham and England midfielder Darren Anderton was breastfed until the age of 32, and was only weaned because his mother refused to move to Birmingham with him in 2004. As such, his apparent calcium deficiency remains a scientific and medical mystery.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 26 October 2011 15:20 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

move to ILF

196. bradley pritchard has a higher bleep test score than usain bolt

imago, Saturday, 5 January 2013 22:58 (eleven years ago) link

197. Ryan Shawcross speaks fluent Tagalog after he found an injured Filipino man on the street as a child and nursed him back to health in his parents' shed.

Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 5 January 2013 23:29 (eleven years ago) link

198. In the 1994/5 season, Skonto Riga played away games in 'Frankie says relax' t- shirts

Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 5 January 2013 23:47 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

199 avant garde techno producer actress once had a contract with west bromwich albion before being forced to retire at 19 due to injury

every soulless meta poster is a ✰ (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 16 February 2013 03:09 (eleven years ago) link

three months pass...

200. Tony Cascarino's left nipple is Taiwanese.

posters who have figured how how to priv (darraghmac), Thursday, 6 June 2013 00:57 (ten years ago) link

201. BBC foreign correspondent Orla Guerin is a former member of the Derby Lunatic Fringe

sleepish resistance (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 6 June 2013 01:53 (ten years ago) link

two years pass...

202. https://www.instagram.com/p/BCJQ1mVtsLC/

r|t|c, Sunday, 28 February 2016 09:42 (eight years ago) link

three months pass...

203 Aleksandr Kokorin is the second-highest paid Russian player in the Premier League after Igor Denisov, his former team-mate from Dynamo Moscow. Kokorin is now so rich and famous that his bulldog, Rony, has his own Instagram page.

nakhchivan, Friday, 3 June 2016 13:46 (seven years ago) link

204 Ansi Agolli has played for Qarabag since 2010 and has become a fans’ idol there while winning in three league titles, and two domestic cups. His status as well-loved player in Azerbaijan was boosted after Albania’s qualification for Euro 2016. Agolli will be part of Azerbaijani football’s history books, through being the league’s first player to take part in the competition.

nakhchivan, Friday, 3 June 2016 13:49 (seven years ago) link

205 Razvan Rat is an avid wine collector, a hobby he began while playing for Shakhtar Donetsk in Ukraine – where he met his wife, too. He grew up in a small Romanian town, Piatra-Olt, where he watched the country’s legendary 1994 World Cup campaign at his neighbours’ house because his family did not have a television.

nakhchivan, Friday, 3 June 2016 13:51 (seven years ago) link

two years pass...

Despite being affectionately nicknamed "Thor" by Aston Villa fans, Birkir Bjarnason's name is actually the Icelandic for "Bucky Barnes". The Captain America sidekick is by a significant margin the most popular Marvel character in Iceland, with 8% of Icelandic men being named after him.

Bjarnason himself credits his 2012 transfer to Standard Liege to feeling more motivated as a result of Marvel's early 2010s revival of the character.

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 6 August 2018 14:53 (five years ago) link

six months pass...

Javi Martinez is a World Cup champion and multiple Bundesliga title winner, but the Bayern Munich man also claims to have come up with the concept for ‘The Hunger Games’.

Suzanne Collins is the published author of a series of books which have been turned into Hollywood blockbusters.

The first instalment of her trilogy was released in 2008, with subsequent offerings hitting the shelves in 2009 and 2010.

‘The Hunger Games’ focuses on a futuristic world in which the inhabitants of impoverished ‘districts’ fight for survival in a compulsory televised battle royale.

By the time the books became movies in 2012, over 26 million copies had been sold.

Bayern star Martinez claims he missed out on a piece of that profit having come up with a similar idea in his youth.

The 30-year-old Spain international told German magazine Socrates : “Writing is a great pleasure for me, even as a teenager I started to write a book.

“And believe it or not, the plot was pretty much the same as 'The Hunger Games'.”

When Collins’ version of events hit the big screen, Martinez admits he found it difficult to watch.

He added: “That was strange, I was sitting in the cinema and thought: ‘It does not exist, that's my idea, which I had years ago, the creators must have stolen my computer’.”

Terry Major-Ball Will Tell You (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 9 February 2019 13:22 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

Marvel Cinematic Universe mainstay Sebastian Stan was given a custodial sentence in 2009 for the aggravated stalking and subsequent attempted kidnap of then-Birmingham City midfielder Sebastian Larsson. The Acocks Green native, born Jordan Scuggins, later adopted his stage name as a tongue-in-cheek reference to the incident, quipping to Tim Lovejoy that it "might help me remember about the restraining order."

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 19 September 2020 16:51 (three years ago) link

one year passes...

Disgruntled former romantic conquests of Rohan Ricketts at one point organised into a support group named "The Riders of Rohan". The collective's efforts to raise awareness of the former Wolves midfielder's apparent shortcomings in the bedroom ultimately floundered amid confusing legal action from the Tolkien estate and New Line Cinema.

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Sunday, 23 January 2022 19:20 (two years ago) link

I had read that separately tbh

Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Sunday, 23 January 2022 23:26 (two years ago) link

1. Claudia Caniggia doesn't sweat.

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:12 (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

more sinister now ofc

Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Sunday, 23 January 2022 23:26 (two years ago) link

This thread is very funny. For some reason I am particularly enjoying “Jerome Boateng is a wiccan”

the article don, Monday, 24 January 2022 00:13 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

210. Declan Rice exudes a unique pheromone which makes him sexually irresistible to English commentators and pundits

a spectre is haunting your mom (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 March 2022 18:16 (two years ago) link


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