Archie Comics - C/D?

i'm not (extra)perverted for thinking this is a cheeky dirty line, right?

http://www.geocities.com/flipp_79/lolveronica.jpg

The weirdest was the one where they were all captured/tempted by some rough-haired equivalent of the scientist/nerd dude -- Doyle or something, the guy with glasses -- and he turned out to have fallen from grace and all that. So he tempted Veronica with jewels and Reggie with mirrors for his ego and blah blah. But then Archie found faith through Betty and saved everyone and the evil tempter guy was last seen muttering about how he would have to face hell while Our Heroes walked off into the distance smiling back cheerily at the reader saying how wonderful life and God was while the sun came up.

Between these and Jack Chick comics from the same neighbor, my theology at nine was confused.

Oh man. Now if only that one had been scanned.

artists who stand out for me: the mid-60s one who makes all the characters look like they're floating a few inches off the ground half the time, the one who goes in for those weird extreme closeups and lots of "clenched-teeth" expressions (also i think the guy who did that "li'l jinx" thing that you'd see in the digests every now and then), and (my favorite) the one who apparently did nothing but stories about jughead outsmarting reggie.

veronica is cooler than betty (and inspiring veronica sawyer in heathers is a point in her favor), but i never understood the whole "who's hotter" deal, they look EXACTLY THE SAME!

Ditto.
I don't think the series translates well as a newspaper strip. Three or four panels just doesn't cut it. The books, though, are fab.

Also:
ihttp://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=tina+louise/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=129s5jfo1/EXP=1115525388/*-

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=tina+louise/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=1293qk1mh/EXP=1115525662/*-http%3A//www.triviatribute.com/images4/tinalouise6c.jpg

There is also, in fact, a whole strip dedicated to the fact that not only do Betty and Veronica look alike, but that Betty wearing a black wig given to her by Veronica enables her to attend a party where she is invited by the Grand Duke of Bogartia to an evening whirl through about ten nightclubs, as reported eagerly by a TV station apparently combining Entertainment Tonight with Headline News. This causes Veronica to be annoyed, though her father is greatly moved to laughter.

Elsewhere, Jughead eats a huge burger.

Greatest Archie artist: Dan DeCarlo. Most famous one (to comic fans): Neal Adams.

I just remembered an odd moment. On the tube with one of my oldest and best friends, G, maybe 15 years ago. He's reading an Archie comic, a digest I think, and I'm reading it with him. At one point I say (in a jokey way) "Come on, turn the page!" He closes the comic and says "You can't have read that by now." I insist I have, but he won't have it, so I start describing each panel and reciting, not quite word for word but close to it, the dialogue and captions. He has claimed that this moment had a profound effect on his view of the world!

Dan DeCarlo is their best artist and he is also a major influence on Los Bros Hernandez.

You should see the comic digests they sell on street corners in Mexico. They're the same size as those Archie mini-booklets and drawn in the same way except they're very adult, with busty blondes who can't keep their robes tied around them and the obligatory homosexual man available for comic relief.

Other than those differences, you still half-expect to see Mr. Weatherbee on the next page.

Also, whoever's writing them and editing them these days has atrocious language skills. I've counted numerous cases of the your/you're and the their/there/they're mistakes, and noticed in this last one that someone was complaining that their credit was so bad that Pop Tate wouldn't even "except my cash". Ow.

In the course of a day, Reggie and Archie discover to their surprise that Betty, Veronica and Midge are preparing a 160 pound burger in the front lawn of the Lodge mansion. Their job appears to consist of lowering the upper monster bun onto the patty. Nearby, butlers whose sole job it is is to dress in tux and tails while presenting individual jars of pickles sternly march in a line. A small dog observes them, appearing to contribute nothing beyond drooling, and even that is not actually shown, but implied. The quality of the burger patty itself is vaguely questionable.

Reggie concludes insanity on the part of his female friends. Betty mocks him for his thinking by means of a logical observation:

* It is noted that Riverdale is suffering from a problem of unemployment and depopulation. Apparently what occurs is that when work is not found, the automatic choice is to leave town. This in and of itself is not surprising, however, it is somewhat suspicious that Betty chooses this moment to illustrate the point in that at the same time she says so six separate moving trucks and vans are seen to be moving about on the roads, interstate bypasses and other means of mass transportation support which are apparently located directly in front of the Lodge mansion. This not only speaks to the amazing powers of foresight of Betty, to time her reaction to a question such that the perfect opportunity arises, but that Mr. Lodge apparently thought that this location was a prime place for a mansion. He perhaps does not mind gawkers pounding down the I-5.

* Since there is such an unemployment/depopulation problem -- presumably this combined will ruin the tax base and therefore the budget for the high school, which as a result would give the kids little to do besides sit around Pop's Diner, perhaps -- the solution is to call attention to Riverdale by means of the burger. The creation of the burger will therefore result in the world knowing Riverdale, and therefore wishing to work and invest in it specifically.

This conclusion is accepted without argument. We now move to the next part of our plot.

The nameless editor, who we can tell is an editor because he is bald, mustachioed and wears an eyeshade on his forehead, insists that the creation of a massive burger is unworthy of his reporters' efforts, due to the profusion of similar stories in other locations. It is not clear whether the images showing the world's largest pizza and so forth also occurred in Riverdale itself, which could perhaps explain his disinterest, as the local market could be saturated. The editor suggests that if someone consumed the entire burger then perhaps a story could be done. Veronica says this will not be a problem, without considering the nature of human biology before giving her answer. It is possible she flunked that class in high school. The editor, showing interest and conviction in this assertion on the part of Veronica by rising from his chair, asks her to hold off on the devouring of the hamburger until 'his' photographer is available. A reporter for the story is apparently unnecessary, which is not so strange but is perhaps reflective of the newspaper, in that the photographer is shown in the background with his legs up on a desk, staring like a shlub into space. There appears to be no other photographer than he, and indeed no other staff. The efficacy of using this particular journal in order to communicate news of economic interest to the mass media market is therefore further called into disrepute.

The story now returns to the question of the burger.

At this point one Jughead Jones appears, as he is apparently wont to walk down the street leading to the Lodge mansion, which as previously established is a highway turnoff ramp or something similar. One concludes that Jughead either likes to play in traffic or that this is a most cavalier town in terms of public walkways; both suppositions may be equally valid and applicable. Jughead is whistling, a sign that he perhaps cares for nothing in this the mundane world, though nothing is set in stone as of yet. The three females creating the burger note his appearance and conclude that they have found the person they need, and the accusations by Betty and Midge towards Veronica's state of mind are now immediately forgotten, and harmony reigns once more, as they insist Jughead must eat the burger.

This puts Jughead into a state of surprise. (As of yet, he has not seen the burger even though it is right in front of him. Clearly, he too is insane.)

Also, "visor".

Having been observed and pointed at, Jughead, who combines hunger with paranoia for reasons that a moment's thought will surely make obvious, flees the area (it is unclear if he returns to the freeway), insisting that he is not wont to dance, a point he has insisted on before. This is perhaps designed for amusement. Betty and Veronica tackle him and insist he is desired for the power of his mouth in consumption, a thrilling prospect to be sure, though in this case it is for the eating of a sole burger. The expression on his face as he is tackled is vacant and a thought bubble contains a question mark, showing that his hunger and paranoia are now combined with mental slowness. His sad addiction to the demon weed is confirmed, but further unremarked upon, though the remainder of the comic makes clear that he had a bad case of the munchies.

Jughead, confronted with the burger, wonders if there is any condition attached to the eating of it, and seems incredibly unfazed by the prospect of devouring the entire 160-pound content of it. Indeed, he welcomes it, and wonders if he is being made fun of given the opportunity to devour it in full. (As you can see, his paranoia continues.) Archie, who hitherto has been mute, suddenly speaks for the first time to insist that if Jughead pursues his course of action, the resultant effect would be to render him deceased, with the unspoken implication that his worldly pleasures would therefore cease as well. Jughead challenges this observation by an embrace of hedonism, insisting that death resulting from the eating of a 160-pound burger would be a welcome and amazing way to shed this mortal coil. There are no further attempts to stop Jughead's eating, indicating that his friends have accepted the prospect of suicide and are willing to witness the grand event.

This might be seen to be a curious state of events, in that the eating of a burger -- bite by bite -- might not normally be considered gripping television. We are now shamed for assuming this, thanks to a portrayal of a man and a woman in their home, where the man is watching TV. It is not clear where this couple is in relation to Riverdale but what is clear is that the TV station the man is watching is showing minute-by-minute coverage of the burger eating. The woman, confused, wonders aloud if there isn't a baseball game on the man wished to watch. The man, gripping the armrest in excitement and apparently also drinking a beer, acknowledges this but insists that burger eating is a more fascinating spectacle to observe on TV, even after 5 hours and 22 minutes have elapsed. We do not see this couple again, and it is not clear whether their discussion petered out, led to an argument, resulted in copulation or became some combination of various moods.

Jughead is in agonies due to his exertions, and insists he cannot have the final bite. But his fellows cheer him on, and we see the horrible grinning visage of the terribly-attired TV reporter say in triumph that the burger has finally been devoured. He then goes on to tell his audience that two world records had been set in Riverdale, for burger size and continual burger eating, though at no point does he take the opportunity to point out that this makes Riverdale an attractive place for multinationals and venture capitalists. It is presumed that for this reason Riverdale turns into a slum the following day, but this is not clear.

Jughead, overhearing the reporter, insists that a third record was set, for the world's biggest stomachache, as he sits slumped against the burger podium. The reporter looks stunned while his friends engage in merry laughter at his expense. With this the comic ends. It is not clear whether Jughead then smoked some more pot to relax.

I want a CDR of it being read out.

You are insane, but with a purpose.

(a giant jpeg showing a whole comic story. totally dismal and excellent!)

http://accordionguy.blogware.com/Photos/2005/10/shes_goth_to_have_it.jpg

Oh, the misreadings.

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k157/jcsunshine/rap1.jpg
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As Slate notes, things are getting strange. Besides which:

A late December release will depict President Obama and Sarah Palin sharing a milkshake at Pop Tate's soda shop.

it actually is rather amazing that "Archie" has yet to receive the live action, blockbuster film treatment yet. only a matter of time i'm sure.

not a "blockbuster" but certainly "live action":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf5k4WA-UFM

(from 1990)

Never knew of the existence of this. Mind = blown.

^^ I watched that on TV when it aired.

I boycotted the tv movie, I was so appalled. Now I'm imagining that "So appalled" is actually about the Archie movie, I wouldn't put it past Kanye.

I taped that & watched often!

it actually is rather amazing that "Archie" has yet to receive the live action, blockbuster film Broadway musical treatment yet. only a matter of time i'm sure.

either Archie or Happy Days

Ok I just bought the KEVIN KELLER miniseries #1 (actually Veronica #207).
I haven't read it yet but –––––– I am worried Kevin will run into the Christian Archie series Archie. Like Kevin is trying out for the football team and Jughead tries to introduce him to the Gospel of John like he was ALWAYS doing in Christian Archie. And where it goes from there is too sad to say!
What I am saying is Archie has one world that is full of fundamentalist xtian teens and another where Kevin is getting married, which gets rid of Riverdale's "Anytown U.S.A." vibe, doesn't it?
This is fucking with me in the best way!

OMG Jughead is wearing a yellow muscle shirt with a hamburger on it.

i wish i knew where my dad's old archie comics were :(

The first half has Kevin's gal pal from Bricktown explaining her one-time crush on a prepubescent Kevin. This sequence is weird because it has concerns about prom, etc, when the timeline suggests this flashback takes place in elementary school. Maybe sixth grade at the latest?

The second half is also a flashback in which Kevin recalls coming out to his parents. His dad, the colonel, is proud of his son and encourages Kevin to follow in his footsteps by entering the military. Either he came out on July 4 or Bricktown just likes to party, because fireworks are going off in the background, with a big American flag at the fore.

abbbbs have you seen "archie out of context" yet??

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqjn3q8j2W1qgqrq7o1_500.jpg

http://archieoutofcontext.tumblr.com/

:O

Beautiful.

i made this "brokeback mountain in an archie comics nutshell" joke when i posted this on facebook but i really really think it applies:

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lokahu7tdQ1qmvdv4o1_500.jpg

Why is Jughead so built??

"Oh, Jughead..."

x-post

Someone at Archie is working really hard on the modernity angle

http://img853.imageshack.us/img853/6185/ac6240.jpg

^loving V-ron's face on that btw

my daughter got an issue of Archie awhile ago. plot featured ringtones, youtube clips, and texting

#Dennis Perrin
Archie has a gay wedding, and it's not Betty and Veronica? Sugar Sugar my ass!

Genius.

this one from archie out of context cracks me up every time http://i.imgur.com/smFA4.jpg

baby girl http://i.imgur.com/smFA4.jpg me

My cousin Paul is the lead writer on the "Life with Archie" comic, so he's written quite a bit of the Kevin Kellar stuff. After all his years in the industry, it's funny that he's getting his greatest success with friggin' Archie.

http://online.wsj.com/article/APfcbf388f6a2f4b0b89238ad78bf1fcd6.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/nyregion/the-battle-for-a-comic-empire-that-archie-built.html

Meanwhile:

http://www.readaboutcomics.com/2011/12/21/criminal-the-last-of-the-innocent/

Also given the Occupy parody links from Nicole a few posts up, get this (from the NYT story):

Meanwhile, Mr. Goldwater, a married father of two, is running Archie solo. An “Occupy Riverdale” comic and an animated “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” series are imminent.

https://sphotos-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/993939_10151862242484009_1399795862_n.jpg

damn, is this real?

http://media.tumblr.com/d78206af10d1b8c4dba11537f1de88e6/tumblr_inline_mqijxq0bLw1qjcsti.jpg

the bongos are in pain

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/archie-boss-calls-male-employees-penis-article-1.1534462

re: the co-CEO of Archie Comics: “[T]he word ‘penis’ became somewhat of a campaign slogan and her preferred method of referring to employees in lieu of their names,” their new filing says."

Silberkleit, they say, invited Hell’s Angels to Archie’s Mamaroneck offices in an apparent effort to “intimidate” them, and has repeatedly inquired about the whereabouts of the handgun and 750 rounds of ammo her husband kept at the office.