'The Day Today' -- "HELLO, YOU!"

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I remember reading an interview with Morris when he said he was disappointed that this programme has had no effect whatsoever on curbing the sillier aspects of the real news. If anything the silly graphics on the real news have got sillier since The Day Today.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 07:13 (nineteen years ago) link

He's got football pie all over his face.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 07:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Fact me till I fart!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 07:17 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not sure I'll ever get the Collaterlie Sisters bit to work, not having a numeric keypad on my DVD remote (and the keypad option being disabled in PowerDVD for DVD playback).

Still, great to have it all in the kind of quality I'm happy to show to uninitiated houseguests (my tapes were dying).

"Helwyn." "Colin." "Chris." "Helwyn." "Chris." "Helwyn."

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 07:26 (nineteen years ago) link

I *hate* Sebastian Coe!

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 07:33 (nineteen years ago) link

The bit that sticks in my mind is the bit where the vicar arrives at a woman's house and on arrival, they snog with tongues briefly to say hello... ?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 08:03 (nineteen years ago) link

You can't kill everyone because then there wouldn't be anyone left to respect.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 08:08 (nineteen years ago) link

"Lord Major's Pirhouette In Fire Chief Wife Decapitation" - grisly
but gripping..

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 08:10 (nineteen years ago) link

I now think it's better than "Brass Eye", all things considered.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 09:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Brass Eye was more focussed, a masterclass in satire. I think it's better, but I prefer The Day Today, if y'get me.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 09:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I think so

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 09:09 (nineteen years ago) link

1994 - No-one died

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 09:11 (nineteen years ago) link

"Hello sir!"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 09:20 (nineteen years ago) link

"Why don't I use real people instead of dead ones? I dunno, y'see I.. It's power - I want power!"

and the three voices of "Justice". This is the best bit on the whole DVD.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 09:44 (nineteen years ago) link

John Fashanu. John Fashanu. JOHN Fashanu. JOHN FASHANU. John Fashanu.

That's John Fusharnoo, tonight at nine.

― Fergal (Ferg), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 10:56 (nineteen years ago) link

The killer line of all killer lines:

"Proof, if proof be need be...

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 10:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I've said it before and I'll say it again: America needs Chris Morris more than the UK does. Even if we do have Jon Stewart.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 10:58 (nineteen years ago) link

I occasionally still use the proof line. And I end most conversations with "And that's all the news".

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"...god i wish it weren't"

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:02 (nineteen years ago) link

THE FINANCE ARSE

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, I think the proof line has penetrated a certain demographic's everyday chatter to an alarming (but always gently amusing) way. With Pam it's "in summary...breezes." She has a love/hate thing with the vagueness of UK weather forecasts and this just seems to encapsulate it all.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:05 (nineteen years ago) link

i often annoyingly end phone conversations with "...and on that bombshell"

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:06 (nineteen years ago) link

The weatherman graphics are impressive in the way that you find yourself thinking "that's actually not a bad way of displaying it". Also it can't have been cheap.

I still think of 'Brent - Physical Cartoonist" everytime I see something by Mark Fiore, Flash Satirist.

The Bomb Dogs section is maybe my favourite, particularly the interview with the IRA spokesman (BASTARDS?) on helium.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:10 (nineteen years ago) link

"Their leader is a grease monkey from Acton"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:15 (nineteen years ago) link

"So what's the German for 30 percent?"

"Trenter percenter."

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:20 (nineteen years ago) link

"And we've just heard that the defence secretary Micheal Portillo carries a saw off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals claiming "As long as it has a backbone, I'll do it!".

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:22 (nineteen years ago) link

"The Day Today - bagpiping news into fact"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:23 (nineteen years ago) link

"Thanks, Colin. He's not gay, by the way - we wouldn't employ a homosexual. "

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:24 (nineteen years ago) link

nono, "We'd like to apologise for our report on Friday that defense secretary..."

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:24 (nineteen years ago) link

even better!

We'd like to apologise for our report on Friday that defense secretary Micheal Portillo carries a saw off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals claiming "As long as it has a backbone, I'll do it!".

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:26 (nineteen years ago) link

The apology comes at the end, Andrew/Jed, after the barrage of slander is still percolating in yr brane.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Bah, you're right of course. "On Friday, we reported that..."

"Heseltine greet the children that he will later release into the wild and hunt"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I like the way the intro music is just that little bit too long.

and

"You can wear them in the high street, body contours, very discreet"

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Fur-Q - the original Eamon!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:50 (nineteen years ago) link

But Fur-Q's black is he not?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:51 (nineteen years ago) link

fUR-q DID ANTICIPATE THE pHIL cOLLIINS TRIBUTE lp N-EST-CE PAS?

'UZI LOVER'

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Are you saying a brother can't be Eamon?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Only with the application of make-up sticks

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:54 (nineteen years ago) link

"J in red and blue."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:57 (nineteen years ago) link

in red on blue - and that's the letter of the law is it?

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:59 (nineteen years ago) link

http://uk.imdb.com/top_250_films

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:01 (nineteen years ago) link

bah, ignore that.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:02 (nineteen years ago) link

"This is a high class Bureau de Change, not some Punch and Judy Show on Margate Pier"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:05 (nineteen years ago) link

"He must have a rocket engine in that foot!"

The car discussion!

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:07 (nineteen years ago) link

"They look like cattle... in a mad way... but cattle on bikes"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Stop getting TDT wrong! "He must have a foot like a traction engine."

Kids today, sassenfrassen...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:13 (nineteen years ago) link

"Strathcarnage versus Taste of Dunfermline CANNOT BE STOPPED"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Bitch wanna try it, I said keep her quiet, shove it up her muthafucking ass and fry it

The black neighbours sketch is hilarious

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:16 (nineteen years ago) link

"Crazed wolves in store a bad mistake admit Mothercare"

― de, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:16 (nineteen years ago) link

What would you do if I introduced a pig into this office?

(Pre-dated Gervais by years)

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 42 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

My VHS copy had two 'hidden tracks'

Those would be two of the mininews segments (all of which are indeed on the DVD). More about the mininews stuff here.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:59 (nineteen years ago) link

On the DVD, the Chris/Alan extra audio track about conspiracies is truly strange.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 01:09 (nineteen years ago) link

The reunion audio track is strange too.

"I'd love to be your twins."

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 01:39 (nineteen years ago) link

"Why don't I use real people instead of dead ones? I dunno, y'see I.. It's power - I want power!"

The last bit is actually (from memory) "I want a tower! I want... I want a tower." Because just previous to this this character was talking about controlling a whole town of anamatronic dead people from a tower.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 01:45 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...

"Enviromation from me, Rosie May. Scientists in Alaska have found a gap between the horizon and the Earth..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 August 2005 22:35 (eighteen years ago) link

"what...is a gay?

― , Saturday, 13 August 2005 23:04 (eighteen years ago) link

"Ich nichten lichten..."

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Sunday, 14 August 2005 06:17 (eighteen years ago) link

'could you sum it up in a word?'

'no'

'a sound?'

'wurrgh!'

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Sunday, 14 August 2005 09:35 (eighteen years ago) link

"right, free swim!"

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Sunday, 14 August 2005 09:48 (eighteen years ago) link

'tronter perconter'

― Enrique, naked in an unfamiliar future where corporations run the world... (Enri, Sunday, 14 August 2005 09:56 (eighteen years ago) link

all together now:

"I HATE SEBASTIAN COE!"

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Sunday, 14 August 2005 10:00 (eighteen years ago) link

NEWSFELTCH!

― zappi (joni), Sunday, 14 August 2005 10:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Ned, did you ever hear any of the Blue Jam radio show Morris did?

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Heard quite a bit about it, but not heard it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:38 (eighteen years ago) link

blue jam was amazing, worked a lot better on radio than on tv. they tried to replace the dislocation you feel that is sort of inherent to radio, with sort of woozey camerawork and blur on the tv, but it didnt really work. they used to have a big realaudio archive of it at tvcream but it all seems to have gone. migth be ok slsk though.

― ambrose (ambrose), Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:53 (eighteen years ago) link

http://chilled.cream.org/forums/bluejam.php has most of the radio shows and a wealth of other goodies besides. You'll need some torrent software but when you download it, it's a whole new world of fun.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Sunday, 14 August 2005 20:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Believe I've been there before, I scarfed all the On the Hour episodes from there. And very happy I was to have done that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 14 August 2005 20:54 (eighteen years ago) link

three years pass...

warp to release four-disc on the hour box in two weeks

― cam'ron wite (haitch), Monday, 10 November 2008 04:13 (fifteen years ago) link

they've been on radio7 several times in the past couple of years but they always miss a couple of episodes out of each run (and i don't think they've ever repeated the christmas special) so this will be useful.

― koogs, Monday, 10 November 2008 10:51 (fifteen years ago) link

seventeen-disc blue jam box probably a pipe dream

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 10 November 2008 12:23 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51NCa3CTxmL._SS500_.jpg

― koogs, Friday, 28 November 2008 10:13 (fifteen years ago) link

two years pass...

Finally discovered this - the brilliance/episode is truly staggering. Immediately ordered Brass Eye as well.

― StanM, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 21:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Wise man.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 21:51 (thirteen years ago) link

two years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SPWgodul_E

i have never heard/seen this before - anyone know when this was done/where it was broadcast?

― There shouldn't be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets. (stevie), Sunday, 21 July 2013 12:44 (ten years ago) link

It was a DVD easter egg. I guess they recorded it specifically for the DVD release. 26 April 2004 is the release date according to amazon.

― cajunsunday, Sunday, 21 July 2013 13:12 (ten years ago) link

thanks!

― There shouldn't be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets. (stevie), Sunday, 21 July 2013 23:08 (ten years ago) link

"Peter, you've added nothing."

I seem to remember something Chris Morris wrote that was published in the UK quite soon after 9/11 - in The Independent or The Observer, possibly a pull-out section that was quite shocking in a kind of "too soon man" way. I'd love to see that again.

― kraudive, Monday, 22 July 2013 00:00 (ten years ago) link

amazingly all of it is here, as PDFs, in the Observer archive
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/page/0,,671683,00.html

― piscesx, Monday, 22 July 2013 00:18 (ten years ago) link

ooh the Geefe columns are there too! Nice work piscesx!

― Neil S, Monday, 22 July 2013 14:34 (ten years ago) link

five years pass...

RIO'S ON THE MONKEY DUST

― puppy bash (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 December 2018 22:24 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

You're old, we're old.

The Day Today, 25th anniversary dinner. We’ve lost the news.@RebeccaFront @Aiannucci @Pmarber @PeterBaynham pic.twitter.com/9esJ9uPDzL
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) February 12, 2019

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:42 (five years ago) link

Is that peter baynham in the middle?! Christ the Hollywood life’s taken a toll if so, he looks like ET brundlefly’d with present-day devito

― gray say nah to me (wins), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:45 (five years ago) link

it's him, camera phones are never flattering tbf

― kinder, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:46 (five years ago) link

That’s true, and it’s an endearingly dorky photo in general

― gray say nah to me (wins), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:50 (five years ago) link

― imago, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:56 (five years ago) link

Something poetic about Chris Morris slowly morphing into Victor Lewis Smith

― whoa is me (stevie), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 19:48 (five years ago) link

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