Gay Marriage to Alfred: Your Thoughts

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I think a good solution to the entire fiasco would be this:

Fine, let gays have marriage. Whatever, they can keep it. So long as heterosexuals get to have SUPER marriages!

David Allen (David Allen), Sunday, 7 November 2004 16:18 (nineteen years ago) link

D'oh, sorry about all the typos.

Bumfluff, Monday, 8 November 2004 00:46 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...
Hahahahahahaha

Dan (Awesome) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 20:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Alex in NYC's sputtering rage upthread is most refreshing. I wish the producers of "Inanity & Colmes" would ask him to appear on the show.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 21:25 (eighteen years ago) link

oh if only we could hack in and post our own "great things"...

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 21:29 (eighteen years ago) link

A gay friend of mine shot me this link

don weiner (don weiner), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 23:34 (eighteen years ago) link

you misspelled "load"

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 23:37 (eighteen years ago) link

roffles baby roffles

don weiner (don weiner), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 23:44 (eighteen years ago) link

my mom has a wife! congratulate me

They aren't official anymore, unfortunately.

Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 16:16 (eighteen years ago) link

What agitators for gay marriage never address is why a homosexual domestic partnership should be more worthy of government approval (or employee benefits) than a myriad of other domestic partnerships. Why not two single moms who live together with their children, like Kate & Allie? Or a straight woman and her gay male best friend, like Will & Grace? Or two unmarried heterosexual sisters who live together and share all expenses — kind of an old-fashioned
arrangement, but certainly not extinct; I happen to be friends with a pair like this myself. Why can't they get a tax break?

Hahaha this is actually my baseline opinion and why I think "marriage" should be secularized! Why should a household be defined as a married man and woman? That doesn't describe every household out there and there are certain living situations that make enough long-term sense that it seems odd to me that the people involved can't enter into some type of legal contract that would grant them the same legal status as a traditional married couple.

Dan (Egalitarianism: It's What's For Dinner) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 16:42 (eighteen years ago) link

unfortunately she comes up with the opposite conclusion, that once you look at it, traditional marriage makes no egalitarian sense, so gay people should be "above it" but us hets will keep it, thank you very much - ?? she also apparently believes that gay couples don't have children - ???

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 16:55 (eighteen years ago) link

There is no need for the government to be in the marriage business. A man's relationship with a woman only demands government intervention when there is a baby produced; everything else can and should be settled by normal private contracts between consenting parties.

I think her point is more that there is a slippery slope for the government to validate gay marriage.

don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:20 (eighteen years ago) link

Cripes, dig this Mobius strip of a sentence:

Gay activists often point out various same-sex unions that have outlasted many heterosexual ones. But I don't see why sexual relationships of any stripe, if they're not at least inherently procreative, should trump all others.

I'm surprised it even shows up on the screen, so quickly is it disappearing up its own ass.

phil d. (Phil D.), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:23 (eighteen years ago) link

A man's relationship with a woman only demands government intervention when there is a baby produced; everything else can and should be settled by normal private contracts between consenting parties.

or a man's relationship with a man, or a woman's relationship with a woman - if you want to be unbigoted about it. I hope you realize, don, as the essayist you link above apparently does not, that many gay couple decide to have children via adoption, IVF treatment or what have you.

your suggestion, of course, amounts to a very slippery, very short, slope towards taking away privileges from people who decide not to have children, which hardly seems fair.

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

the intelligent side of the anti-camp

A year and half later, still roffleicious!

rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:47 (eighteen years ago) link

i mean, if the continually reaffirmed findings of UNESCO and basically every economist under the sun hold any water at all, the government should be paying people NOT to have children!

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Non-biological parents already utilize contracts in the manner I assert. What I'm trying to say is that the government probably DOES have a role in intervening on issues of biological parenthood (child support, custody, etc.) because in those cases there is a sort of biological contract between two people that cannot be denied or circumscribed except through other civil contracts. Adoption is a civil contract. IVF is a civil contract between donor and receiver. A civil arrangement trumps government moralizing.

Which privileges are eliminated from people who don't breed in my scenario?

don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:52 (eighteen years ago) link

all the privileges associated with marriage?

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:55 (eighteen years ago) link

maybe i'm not reading you right, but it seems like you're saying the govt should just BACK OFF MAN unless a man gets his woman pregnant by putting his dingaling in her hoo hoo - then it's ok to, say, live with them in their country of origin, visit them in prison, be on each others' health plans etc BUT NOT UNTIL HOO HOO BREACHING HAS RESULTED IN THE SHARP STINK OF BABIES

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 17:57 (eighteen years ago) link

It seems curious to claim that "a sort of biological contract" obtains in cases of straight parenting but not in cases of lesbian IVF parenting. It seems arbitrary to me: how do you know that there's a purely "civil contract" involved in such cases, necessarily?

The columnist's position rests on the assumption that gay marriages are "inherently non-procreative"; the increasingly large number of gay couples whose coupledom is reinforced and tested by the experience of raising children together looks an awful lot like any other marriage-with-kids to me. Why not grant it the same protections and benefits?

"It's a straight thing, you wouldn't understand"

Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 18:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I think we are on the same page but I'm probably not explaining myself well. As I note upthread, I don't think that the government should be in the marriage business. I think the government probably has a legitimate interest in interfering between a male/female relationship if there is a biological child involved, since typically offspring is by and large not a civil arrangement...not saying that gives government a right to validate their relationship with privilege, I'm saying it can legitimately enforce things like child support payments. Adoption, gay relationships, Kate and Allie, Dick and Jane, and any other consenting adult can create whatever kind of household they want to without the government's moralizing. In a general sense, there shouldn't be legal privileges for marriage, nor should there be for children.

I think what Cathy Seipp is saying is that if we allow gay marriage then what logic does the law hold against polygamy or Kate & Allie or a handful of broke college kids getting married to achieve the same privileges as two guys or two gals whose basis for this privilege is homosexuality. I think she's pointing out that marriage as a legal institution probably isn't going to ever leave the cages of government intervention, so we're better to be vigilant about trying to limit it less we face a slippery slope in the other direction.

don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

We can worry about that when the polygamists and the broke college kids lobby for like at least a decade to achieve equality with baby-having heterosexuals.

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 19:06 (eighteen years ago) link

whats stopping 2 broke college kids from getting married for $$$$ now? unless theyre both dudes or both chicks

-++-++-+--, Wednesday, 19 April 2006 19:08 (eighteen years ago) link

ned&stacy.wmv

-++-++-+--, Wednesday, 19 April 2006 19:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Jesus you're right ethan!

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 19:14 (eighteen years ago) link

whats wrong with polygamy?

awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

That article is irritating in more ways than one (though mostly because it is written with such a condescending pose of reasonableness - "now now, before you froth at the mouth..."). A lot of her comparisons and analogies and so forth are totally spurious, e.g the difference between the tradition of marriage and the tradition of Christmas is that the latter is opt-in as well as opt-out: if you want to celebrate it, you can, no-one is stopping you. As a practicing Jew or Muslim you might look a bit odd getting all into nativity scenes and the like (but then how many American Christians do that even?), but there's not a law actively preventing you from doing so.

Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 20 April 2006 05:24 (eighteen years ago) link

one month passes...
APOSTROPHE ABUSE

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Turns out that I was wrong. Immigration ISN'T the gay marriage of the 2006 midterm elections. GAY MARRIAGE is the gay marriage of the 2006 midterm elections.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Reid Petition

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:33 (seventeen years ago) link

LaShawn Barber and Dave Weigel mock the transparency of Bush's move = bring on the hilarity.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Come get gay-married in Canada fast, cuz come fall, it might not be legal anymore:
http://winnipegsun.com/News/Canada/2006/06/03/1612637-sun.html

Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Scarborough was on Today Show this morning referring to the move as "pandering."

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:50 (seventeen years ago) link

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/S/H/bush_turkey.jpg

MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP GAY MARRIAGE BECAUAES ONE DOESNT KNOW WHERE IT COULD LEAD

gear (gear), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Bush should stop Johnny Carsoning everywhere.

((((((DOPplur)))n)))u))))tttt (donut), Monday, 5 June 2006 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

nine months pass...
Alfred brought this to my attention...

Garrison Keillor, in Salon:

Under the old monogamous system, we didn't have the problem of apportioning Thanksgiving and Christmas among your mother and stepdad, your dad and his third wife, your mother-in-law and her boyfriend Hal, and your father-in-law and his boyfriend Chuck. Today, serial monogamy has stretched the extended family to the breaking point. A child can now grow up with eight or nine or 10 grandparents -- Gampa, Gammy, Goopa, Gumby, Papa, Poopsy, Goofy, Gaga and Chuck -- and need a program to keep track of the actors.

And now gay marriage will produce a whole new string of hyphenated relatives. In addition to the ex-stepson and ex-in-laws and your wife's first husband's second wife, there now will be Bruce and Kevin's in-laws and Bruce's ex, Mark, and Mark's current partner, and I suppose we'll get used to it.

The country has come to accept stereotypical gay men -- sardonic fellows with fussy hair who live in over-decorated apartments with a striped sofa and a small weird dog and who worship campy performers and go in for flamboyance now and then themselves. If they want to be accepted as couples and daddies, however, the flamboyance may have to be brought under control. Parents are supposed to stand in back and not wear chartreuse pants and black polka-dot shirts. That's for the kids. It's their show.


Response from Dan Savage: Fuck Garrison Keillor

jaymc, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:40 (seventeen years ago) link

ew gross.

like extended families didn't exist pre-1950 what the fuck ever

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:42 (seventeen years ago) link

I've always been an apologist for Keillor, but fuck that.

jaymc, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Keillor, as relevant as ever.

Michael White, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Savage's response is kinda pissy (quel surprise) but essentially correct about the blatant hypocrisy, which is just disgusting.

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:48 (seventeen years ago) link

mariage homosexuel

Real news, though not surprising.

Michael White, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:52 (seventeen years ago) link

hi guys, i'm here to defend garrison keillor! you knew i would! if you don't like/listen to keillor it's insurprising you don't (or don't want to) get his tone! he certainly wasn't being ironic/parodic! you couldn't have forgetten that this is the guy who's built a whole career on embodying ridiculous stereotypes about upper midwestern lutheran scandinavians! who he obviously hates! I like how Dan Savage counted the stereotypes but didn't bold Keillor's use of the word itself! like some of these dudes said!

gabbneb, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 23:51 (seventeen years ago) link

who is less cool: GK or Hillary?!

gabbneb, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 23:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, I have to admit: this is pretty bad and muddled, as far as speech and tone go, but even in those limited quotes you can spot a smattering of the dry Keillor-funny lurking about -- "I suppose we'll get used to it" and "The country has come to accept stereotypical gay men," the latter of which Savage seems slightly unsure what to do with and then just plumps for taking it at face value. I have no clue what Keillor's thrust here is, which seems to make it a failure as far as topical humor goes, but it certainly doesn't read like an entirely straightforward statement of opinion.

nabisco, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:02 (seventeen years ago) link

in a way that's even worse, because it's stupider.

Maria, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Well yeah, totally failed humor on topics that are fairly serious to other people = big mistake.

nabisco, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I think what he's saying is pretty clear. It is that marriage traditionally (i.e. when he grew up) has existed for the benefit of children, and that (never mind that it really isn't any more due to narcissistic breeders (like himself, apparently, though he doesn't say this)) this should continue to be the point of marriage whatever form it might take. He doesn't say out loud whether he likes gay marriage per se, but he does say that he thinks diversity is a beautiful thing even if it doesn't look anything like his childhood. Ultimately, I think the implicit message is that while the debate isn't going to be resolved soon, in the meantime it (and perhaps eventually the policy) should be framed around what's good for children rather than the rights or wrongs of adults.

gabbneb, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:34 (seventeen years ago) link

or if you're more inclined to see him as less affectionate about his roots, you could read him to be saying sort of the flipside of my version - that he's ripping the "it's about the kids" attack by focusing on straight marriage and comparing the real results of the breakdown of monogamy with the fantasy evils of polka dots and chartreuse

gabbneb, Thursday, 15 March 2007 00:53 (seventeen years ago) link


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