The worst noises to hear coming from a bathroom stall in a public restroom

I agree, if I heard that coming from a bathroom stall I would be terrified

If I ever got hold of a Portal gun, I'd set it so that the "entrance" portal was in the toilet bowl, but the "exit" portal was aimed at an enemy, or maybe a fan, or something.

this is the man that banned me, folks

perhaps if you had been posting entertaining threads instead of running around announcing to all & sundry that you didn't give a shit, as if that were somehow worth saying, then he would have posted to the threads, instead of banning you

I am 100% not saying "lol u" but operating under the assumption that your comment means you actually can't tell the difference here, and under the further assumption that when you have noted the difference, the irony you see in being banned by a guy making this thread thread will dissipate

anybody needs any more needlessly tortured explanations of stuff, just let me know, I'm not always right but I've always got plenty of words

5. grunting/moaning accompanied by slurping sounds

see i can tolerate being in the same restroom with the others (7 maybe an exception) but if i hear this, i'm going to be completely maison_derriere.gif

*plop*

In grad school there was a prof who my wife had the misfortune of overhearing in the department restroom too frequently. It was the grunting/moaning/squishes combo. That gets my vote.

at any rate the poll leaves off my two favorite options, "weeping with occasional mumbled interludes about how unfair life is" and "whoops and hollers"

hahaha I really should have included a "self-pity" option

"my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me"

vs.

"Release the Kraken"

I am sad when I hear someone sit down and fart the kind of fart you can just tell has been welled-up inside for a long time, because the person was too tight-assed to let one fly more luxuriously in the hall or wherever.

"the worst examples of 20th-century poetry to hear coming from a bathroom stall in a public restroom"

there must be a subgenre of echo-y ringtones that are the worst to be accompanied by moangin/grunting/slurping

"here I sit broken-hearted"

April is the cruelest month, breeding
lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
poops and desire

I start reciting that one DeWolf Hopper style whenever I hear somebody come into the bathroom

that was an xpost, but it didn't really matter

biblical quotes seem tasty for this sort of thing

"Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"

I hope never to see the word "tasty" in association with bathroom stalls ever again.

:: farts ::
"It is done."

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_7ZM16NZuGqQ/Sbx67dR-CxI/AAAAAAAAHL8/KFCvC9SFQE0/S1600-R/TastyTreasures_Header.png

Curt1s I feel like somebody should beat your ass for that one

the woman has a problem--she should get that checked out imho

"and Aminadab begat Naasson"
PLOP!
"and Naasson begat Salmon"
PLOP!
"And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab"
PLOP!

'“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle...' NEURRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!
*faints before finishing quote*

hahahahaha

whenever I get a bifurcated stream I recite the "the road not taken"

drives the ladies wild

why are you using the ladies' room

My answer:

Larry Craig's voice.

Might even answer Curt1s's question.

Curtis it may come as a shock to you to learn that some of us have bathrooms in our houses

and/or that ladies sometime stop by to say hello, or request the repayment of a loan

but I trust it will not surprise you to know that if you have two streams of piss goin & you break out with some classic Robbie Frost, those ladies will swoon like cornstalks in a strong wind

gender is a social construction and we must start with the bathrooms

'Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.
Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.'
PLOP!

In addition to being sexist, God is being a real prick to Job right here.

Five words: "What the fuck is THAT?"

hahaha "Gird up now thy loins"

what is life if, full of care, we have no time to DEAR GOD I'M BIRTHING A BROWN HIPPO

In addition to being sexist, God is being a real prick to Job right here.

this is a different subject but there really isn't anything sexist about God telling Job: "there's going to be a battle now, between you I, so gird up your loins like a man." women did not gird up their loins then, because they did not fight in battle. that culturally prevalent sexism accounts for women's absence from the battlefield seems most probable, but God drawing a comparison between being battle-ready and being "manly" isn't really sexist.

I apologize that this post is not a full seven thousand words but I got a couple other things I need to be doing.

PLOP

the NIV version says, "Man up, Job"

the NIV version also has advertisements in the margins iirc

Haha I would love for God to tell someone to "sack up," esp. in the middle of a life crisis.

other (the gentle whirring of a zoom lens)

^^^criminally underrated poster

other - isn't total silence actually more disturbing?

the continuous splash caused by diarrhea + the same guy laughing out loud at his own ass

^^^ heard this once

― caek, Tuesday, April 6, 2010 3:38 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

tbh i've unexpectedly let out ferocious burbling farts in public bathrooms before and had to suppress laughing or saying stuff like 'oh jesus what in the hell was THAT'

re: biblical margin ads: "Summon the strength of Samson without killing thyself in the gymnasium"

"look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
*sound of rubble falling into the toilet*

wtf

I know -I'm hoping it was just revenge-scenario fantasizing and that he didn't end up doing any of those things.

So I hear a flush, he leaves the stall....but the wet fart sounds CONTINUE as he leaves the bathroom.

at first I interpreted this as, "...but the wet fart sounds continued to emanate from the empty stall" & was about to agree with you that yes, disembodied demon sharts are truly the worst noises to hear coming from a bathroom stall in a public restroom.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3251/3119458386_7719935d02_m.jpg

other--->

your name being whispered

So as of this morning 'a jauntily-whistled tune' has unexpectedly become my answer to the question posed itt.

crying, self-berating panic attack in work jacks

heavy, labored breathing is the one that bothers me the most

keep thinking someone's going to keel over from a heart attack in the next stall

The tinny, muffled responses of someone who is tragically unaware that they're on the phone with someone who is presently defecating.

alternatively, the full volume responses of someone wearing a headset who is responding to a question on a conference call

people who can't help but emit orgasmic groans while shitting should be shot

So as of this morning 'a jauntily-whistled tune' has unexpectedly become my answer to the question posed itt.

Guy in my work used to sing hymns.

I once worked with a woman who used to moan softly. It was so bad we requested they pump music into the bathroom.

Alban Berg's Wozzeck

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The worst noises to hear coming from a bathroom stall in a public restroom

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