thread to get over a breakup

Hello, thread. Didn't think I'd be seeing you.

Bf decided we broke up last thursday (not in a very clear way either, just "i guess we'll be doing this ok we'll have to sort stuff out" way). 1 day later I have to go on an interstate trip he was meant to come with me on, bt ditched on me as "too weird now".

He was busy, 1-2 days later, fucking the new chick he's seeing, and going to the gig I wanted to see with him real badly but thought we'd miss because we'd both be interstate.

So basically he ditched me and all our prior committments because it was just easier to go have fun and not think about it.

Dear males; can at least one of you not turn out to be a total cunt? That'd be super.

can't really defend the y chromosome on this one :/

I'm just a magnet for it I suppose.

The irony of this situation is my ex is now going to be my roomie. Oh, my life.

The worst thing is this guy has been one of my closest friends for 10 years, and my partner for 2. He's completely betrayed me and I dont know if I can even handle the thought of being a friend anymore. He seems baffled by this. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM.

Oh man Trayce that is the worst kind of dogballs. You can email me if you want to vent some more.

<3 Abb thank you I appreciate it.

aw t sorry <3

Jesus Christ trayce, that dude fucking sucks. Also I am really sorry that you have to go through this shit, but most importantly, srsly, that guy can fuck off.

T, if I see him next time in Melbourne, I'll fucken glass him.

Aheheh I appreciate yr rage, KBP, but hey. People are idiots. I did the same to someone 2-3 years back so its hard for me to be so whiny about this tbh. Life goes on.

Thanks all tho, hey.

that fuckin blows trayce. you deserve way better than that asshole.

:(

sorry trayce

I feel like this has been a big karmic fuck-you in my face ;_; (for reasons I dont wanna go into)

I have to say reading the break-up threads has pretty much helped me get through tonight, at least so far (I'm a lurker- this is my first post). 4 AM in a city in which I still have no real friends, where I moved with my now-ex 6 months ago, and she hasn't come home after going out to party with her friends. Got my shit packed, boxes and bags all around me. I guess I can take comfort knowing this is as bad as it gets. Eyes won't even close.

Since much of my life has been on display in ILX (however elliptically), I guess this is the point where I finally admit that I've been separated from my wife since October. Nothing awful or terrible happened, we just realized that however great we were as boyfriend/girlfriend we just really suck at being married.

Aw man I'm sorry to hear that Elvis.

yeah, sorry to hear that.

i've been "broke up" - this is a bit of a misnomer because we never were really going out with each other, although we saw each other fairly often, talked daily, told each other we loved each other etc. - for two months now from girl i was seeing for 7 months, which is the longest i've ever lasted with a girl. We weren't right for each other but i think i might have ruined being single for myself, it's not as cool as it used to be!

on the other-hand i think i might have gotten over my commitment-phobia so maybe a good thing!

sorry elvis and c-r--hang in there

if it makes you feel better 8 months was my record. but yea, singledom feels a lot better when it is a chosen lifestyle than when it is suddenly decided for you :/.

hugs to all the broken-hearted of ilx. It totally sucks but really does get better with time iirc. In the meantime you muddle through and take good care of yourself.

lame words, but feeling for you guys. quincie's got good advice.

hay when does the irrational crying and ridiculous self loathing stop k it's been 4 months now and it sucks bad...:/

Sorry dude. Just try to keep yourself distracted. I, for example, have been considering in depth and perhaps researching how I would go about assassinating Antonin Scalia. And I have also been drunk for some days now and living alone in an increasingly apocalyptically ruined apartment. Each must find his own path. Now is the time for ascetic experiments, I think.

this is, admittedly, horrible advice. depending on how you consider it.

yea I just gotta quit drinking as much.

doesn't help that I see my ex a lot and hear about her 'cavorts' with her 'new guys' all the time. good on her then. we'll see how well they treat her when they learn about her psychic abilities

you don't have to listen to her talk about "her 'new guys'" if it's hurting you iirc

well it's not that she talks about it to me, i overheard it tonight.....while out with a large group of friends i'd just done a show with

yeah, that makes sense. i hope things get better for you, dude.

quincie's advice OTM to everyone going through this.

Pretty much channeled all ambient energy into two efforts: being a better musician/writer, being a better programmer (new job skills = better income -> $$$ to buy cool studio stuff). If I didn't have that, I'd just drunkenly stare into the television all night.

thx guys. the alcohol is wearing off and I've emoted most of it out tonight. I think after a sleep it'll be a non-issue tomorrow.

i want to hear more about these psychic abilities

also, i got to say i don t regret any break up. eventually you realize its the best thing that could have happened to you.

i lurk too. last weekend my first long term girlfriend came in from new york. we hadn't seen each other for over five years but the ease of affection and laughter was as imbued in the past as the it was in the present. we slept together. that morning, the police knocked on my door. the girl i dated and lived with subsequently, and who i had had a terrible break-up with, had her laptop stolen. she told the robbery cops that 'i wouldn't let her get her thesis done' and by way of a leap of logic, i had obviously stolen the computer to this end.

so, even if you get over breakups, they might come to haunt you in particular ways.

um parts a and b of that story don't appear to have any connection other than a woolly temporal one

helluva story

lj, the two don't know each other and i obviously only speak to the former. but it was like the ghosts of ex-girlfriends past. just a particular moment in time when nearly a decade of my life showed up simultaneously in different ways. i was a little stressed out last saturday afternoon.

plus, you can't steal a thesis, it's an intangible.

unless they're writing it on papyrus and you hide the scrolls in your backpack

it is interesting that the two strands would come together like that, simultaneously, but i wouldn't put anything down to cosmic agency. was it quite clear that your reluming of the flame was nothing more than a slight, slight return? the ideal twist here would be if your ex-ex was the one who stole the laptop. and only you know this. but you have fallen in love with her again.

agreed. but, as much as i like literature, even coming close to living it makes me pine for ativan or something.

when i was speaking with my friend that afternoon and he asked how i was, i said 'not good. but give me 72 hours, i'll have turned it into an anecdote.'

an anecdote offered to the unwashed mashes of ILX

masses iirc

and lo!

btw, was it quite clear that your reluming of the flame was nothing more than a slight, slight return?

unless we are all potatoes

i wish to live vicariously through your heartshock

or swedes

sour mash

it wasn't slight (that being a generally unacceptable adjective with regard to matters of love past, present or future) and to say it was comforting (ease of laughter) would be downplaying as well. i can say this: i've priced flights to new york.

hi unwashed masses. i've known y'all silently for a while now.

i can say this: i've priced flights to new york.

<3

glad to have baited this out of you. please keep us informed!

surely.