zing

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (6328 of them)
If you master a tennis video game, you'll never be allowed to have sex period. *rimshot*

-- The GZeus (gzeusmant...) (webmail), October 20th, 2006 3:47 AM. (The GZeus)

So I take it you mastered a tennis game at an early age then?

-- Darramouss (darramous...) (webmail), October 20th, 2006 8:09 AM. (Darramouss ftw)

lol @ easy nerd zingers

sleep (sleep), Friday, 20 October 2006 15:45 (fourteen years ago) link

is Nick Sylvester working for pitchfork again?
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/page/track_reviews/38116/Wolf_Eyes_The_Driller#38116

-- a little knowledge can go a long way (lfamula...) (webmail)

He's like the Dane Cook for creepy undergrad Harvard girls.

-- GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (ca...) (webmail)

▒█▄█ ▄▄▄ ▒█▄█ , Sunday, 22 October 2006 23:36 (fourteen years ago) link

A man wakes up in the morning and he says to his wife "Woman, you have three choices what you can do today, you can take it in the ass, you can come fishing with me or you can suck my dick", so his wife is shocked and says "Oh lord, I don't know dear, give me a few minutes to decide", so the man says "Ok I'm going down to get my fishing gear ready and when I come back you better have an answer". A few minutes later the man comes back up and says "Well?" so his wife says "I've decided I'll suck your dick", the guy is delighted and takes his knob out, but just as he's about to cum his wife takes his dick out of her mouth and shouts "thats disgusting, your dick tastes fucking awful", and he says "yeah the dog didnt fancy going fishing either".

-- Ronan (fitzge...)

What a horrible joke.

-- Tom (ebro...)

and what (ooo), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link

hahah

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Someone should release a box called 100 High School Stage Bands From The Early 1970s Alone That Play Better Than The Shitty Indie Rock Band You Like

-- A-ron Hubbard (Hurtingchie...), October 24th, 2006. (Hurting) (later) (link)

how about 100 High School Stage Bands From The Early 1970s Alone That Play Better Than The Shitty Indie Rock Band You're In?

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), October 24th, 2006. (hstencil) (later) (link)

sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 22:19 (fourteen years ago) link

http://erudition.org/archive/zing/zzlogo.gif

sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 22:41 (fourteen years ago) link

WOOAHHHHAAA~~~~!!! That logo just made me desplode up my pants!!!@#!@#!@ GWA GWA

chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 22:55 (fourteen years ago) link

zingzang is for serious the best bloody mary mix ever.

Fetchboy (Felcher), Thursday, 26 October 2006 03:48 (fourteen years ago) link

That first paragraph of that stylus piece is a clumsily-disguised plagiarism of an ILM post from our old friend gygax!.

-- Steve Shasta (steveshast...), October 25th, 2006 5:05 PM. (Steve Shasta) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Link?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), October 25th, 2006 5:07 PM. (jaymc) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was going to ask you actually...

-- Steve Shasta (steveshast...), October 25th, 2006 5:11 PM. (Steve Shasta) (later)

Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:41 (fourteen years ago) link

Don't deny that you love to take car services!!!!! That's all I'm saying :D

-- roc u like a ยง (jo...), October 26th, 2006. (ex machina) (later) (link) (admin)

i wouldn't say i "love" to take car services. just that i do take them when i feel there's a need, ie. i'm super-drunk, or sick, or the l's down, or whatever. shouldn't be a point of contention, i think, unless you are creepily tracking my movements and putting them in your database, jaymc-style.


-- hstencil (hstenc!...), October 26th, 2006. (hstencil) (later) (link) (admin

sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Thursday, 26 October 2006 23:38 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm posting this before someone else does:


You're a real twat though.

-- A-ron Hubbard (Hurtingchie...), October 26th, 2006.

You are only a fleshlight.

-- Portable Dorkness (butt.dickas...), October 26th, 2006.

A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Friday, 27 October 2006 01:52 (fourteen years ago) link

I WISH YOU COULD QUIT US

-- estela (estelaisale...), October 26th, 2006 9:06 PM.

the orchid and the wasp (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 27 October 2006 03:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I am just happy that EVERY TIME you use your NEW TOASTER which you LOVE SO MUCH you will always envision (for a short time, perhaps subconsciously) Leonard Nimoy, naked, Nude Spock, sticking his dick in your toaster.

Kind of puts a bad taste in your mouth, huh?

-- Portable Dorkness (butt.dickas...), October 26th, 2006.

I think A-Ron's kind of coming out ahead in the whole "imagine Nude Spock's dick in a toaster" game. We all are.

-- Euai Kapaui (tracerhan...), October 26th, 2006.

A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Friday, 27 October 2006 03:14 (fourteen years ago) link

even better is when overweight people accuse others on the internet of being fatties

-- timmy tannin (timmytanni...) (webmail), Yesterday 11:21 PM. (pompous) (later) (link)

Paging Passatino...

-- Raw Patrick (rawsweate...) (webmail), Today 4:50 AM. (Raw Patrick) (later) (link)

manute lol (sanskrit), Friday, 27 October 2006 15:06 (fourteen years ago) link

i just spent like 30 seconds trying to figure out what 'raging passantino' meant

and what (ooo), Friday, 27 October 2006 16:57 (fourteen years ago) link

i think this thread proves that i am no more crepey than anyone else.
some clarifications:

1. my band is listened to most on last.fm because a lot of that was listening to rough mixes and premasters as we were putting the album together.

2. i was never "best buds" with oops in high school. we had a few classes together, but we ran with different crowds, and he was actually a pretty quiet dude. i am unapologetically friends with kenan, though.

3. i never actually gave that talk on "queering the canon" because it would've entailed expanding the very short paper i had written on the subject for a class, and i didn't think i could do much more with the topic. plus it was over xmas break, and i was lazy, etc. so i backed out.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), May 3rd, 2006 10:25 AM. (jaymc) (admin) (userip)

No, you are absolutely more creepy than everyone else.
-- Steve Shasta (steveshast...), May 3rd, 2006 10:28 AM. (Steve Shasta) (admin) (userip)

jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 27 October 2006 16:58 (fourteen years ago) link

i met jaymc in chicago and did not find him particularly creepy at all!

elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:03 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah, i like jaymc

gbx (skowly), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:04 (fourteen years ago) link

"zinging" jaymc for being creepy is about as original and funny as jokes about mickey's navel jewelry or morbius being a drama-queen.

elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:16 (fourteen years ago) link

oy vey.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:25 (fourteen years ago) link

Who is the biggest Captain-Save-A-Cyber-Ho on ILX?

u guys did it, huh?

jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:29 (fourteen years ago) link

i like jaymc, and find it comforting that when the bomb drops, all that will be left of some of us are his files

manute lol (sanskrit), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:30 (fourteen years ago) link

unless they hit chicago instead

manute lol (sanskrit), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:31 (fourteen years ago) link

elmo stop being the acceptability police ffs, u r ruining these threads this week ;_;

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:33 (fourteen years ago) link

STAGES OF HUMOUR

1) The joke is heard for the first time. It's funny. It remains funny for a little while thereafter.

2) The joke is played out. The repetition becomes predictable and the humour passes into non-humour.

3) The predictable repetition of the joke itself becomes funny, not the joke itself. Often times, the humour is achieved when the joke is unleashed in situations where it's not relevant. The humour lies in the joke's irrelevance to the situation at hand.

gear (gear), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:38 (fourteen years ago) link

a) i don't think jaymc is creepy. i really don't think anything about him.
b) that joke was posted in may, at the height of the joke's funniness

jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:41 (fourteen years ago) link

ally, it's not unacceptable, just a bit tedious.

I GROW TIRED OF THESE "JOKES." THESE FOOLS BORE ME, DADDY, BRING ME NEW FOOLS. [/spoiled prince]

elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:46 (fourteen years ago) link

nice spelling moraine

xxpost

and what (ooo), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:46 (fourteen years ago) link

what'd i misspell?

jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 27 October 2006 17:53 (fourteen years ago) link

crepey

rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 27 October 2006 18:01 (fourteen years ago) link

elmo stop being the acceptability police ffs, u r ruining these threads this week ;_;

-- Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyza...), October 27th, 2006 2:33 PM. (allyzay) (later) (userip)

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 27 October 2006 18:22 (fourteen years ago) link

(xxxxpost) tedious = any one of the emoticon threads

am0n (am0n), Friday, 27 October 2006 20:21 (fourteen years ago) link

They should have fired Horatio Sanz about 5 years ago.

-- GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (ca...) (webmail), October 1st, 2006 10:03 AM. (Ex Leon) (link)

He was like a one man excelsior thread.

-- GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (ca...) (webmail), October 1st, 2006 10:04 AM. (Ex Leon) (link)

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 30 October 2006 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link

your FAQ is inadequate

-- cousin larry bundgee (bge...), October 30th, 2006 8:40 PM. (bundgee) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

as yr bloodline might be

-- Dr Morbius (wjwe...), October 30th, 2006 8:54 PM. (Dr Morbius) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

gbx (skowly), Monday, 30 October 2006 22:30 (fourteen years ago) link

j/k

gbx (skowly), Monday, 30 October 2006 22:30 (fourteen years ago) link

ILM in gluttons for punishment non-shocker

-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...) (webmail), October 30th, 2006 2:24 PM. (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh, go whack off to your rachael ray rape fantasy
-- the orchid and the wasp (theundergroundhom...) (webmail), October 30th, 2006 2:26 PM. (later) (link)

gear (gear), Monday, 30 October 2006 23:26 (fourteen years ago) link

rofl

manute lol (sanskrit), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 00:27 (fourteen years ago) link

WOW.

John Justen will insert a ship in your cat for no additional fee (johnjusten), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 00:43 (fourteen years ago) link

doesn't everyone have a rachael ray rape fantasy...?
bitch is gonna get it.

disappointing goth fest line-up (orion), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 00:50 (fourteen years ago) link

i am too lazy to lock ian from this thread :(

manute lol (sanskrit), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 01:13 (fourteen years ago) link

ugh

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:12 (fourteen years ago) link

The road from hubcaps to vaginas was surprisingly short.
-- Tuomas (lix...), October 31st, 2006 4:29 PM. (later)

not on one of your threads, pal.

-- teh_kit returns! (kittens...), October 31st, 2006 4:30 PM. (later)

polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:39 (fourteen years ago) link

OOF @ JBR pwnj on SMC

Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:53 (fourteen years ago) link

do something funny and get paid! a BBC thing...

^@^ (map), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:47 (fourteen years ago) link

jon go buy some more $1000 purebreed dogs and leave us to our emotional appeals ;_;
-- Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay...), November 2nd, 2006 11:33 AM. (allyzay) (later) (admin) (userip)

chaki (chaki), Thursday, 2 November 2006 19:42 (fourteen years ago) link

does this thread remind anybody else of lord of the flies?

-- like murderinging (mi...), Yesterday 9:31 PM. (modestmickey) (later)

you sort of remind me of piggy

-- manute lol (mikeoptin...), Yesterday 9:41 PM. (sanskrit) (later)

s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:43 (fourteen years ago) link

I hear some signs of IDM in the more electronic parts of today's R&B, whereas the electro revival main skips the entire 90s electronica and goes straight to 80s synthpop and electro for influence.
-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), November 8th, 2006 6:00 AM. (GeirHong)

thanks mr dance music expert
i have a couple hip hop questions for you later, if you have any spare time

-- -- (68...), November 8th, 2006 6:09 AM. (688)

jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 18:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Bush actually did pretty well, I think. Fairly articulate, though still flailing about trying to cover his ass and spin the losses at points. He was right to smack down the reporter who asked him to explain the comments made two days ago about Rumsfeld staying on about forty-five seconds after he'd already explained himself. His justifications (hadn't met w/ people, made final decision, not wanting to announce it right before election) were valid.

He may have some surprises up his sleeve for possibly Schwarzeneggerification of last two years of his presidency, but I guess we'll see.

-- Tim Ellison , November 8th, 2006. (later)

Tim, this is neither an R.E.M. nor Beatles thread.

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn

dar1a g (daria g), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 20:25 (fourteen years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.