Tom Brady Can Suck My Dick

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The play by play guy will say what just happened, and then John Q. Color Schmuck will say one of the above random comments about Brady and the Pats offensive scheme,

bad nfl announcers, nothing shocking there.
fox had brian baldinger matched up with a relatively sober pat summerall (and i swear to god i thought i'd remembered reading that he'd died) for the bears/49ers game this weekend. my favorite moment was when summerall said "You have to give the 49ers credit." followed by 19 seconds of dead air from baldinger.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:10 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha ok that wins.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:16 (seventeen years ago) link

What do you give the 49ers credit for?

a) Finding the stadium
b) Wearing their jock straps inside their uniforms
c) Losing by only 31
d) All of the above

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:19 (seventeen years ago) link

3) not leaving at halftime and going into Witness Protection

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Summerall is still doing games!!!!! WAHT

― lk (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:01 (seventeen years ago) link

The last time I heard him years ago he didn't even try to interact with the guy he was doing game with.

― lk (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:06 (seventeen years ago) link

i was shocked too, i was SURE i'd read he died.
he also thought an incomplete pass was complete and couldn't understand why the receiver stopped running with the ball and the defender stopped chasing him.
summerall: "looks like there's a flag and they'll bring that one back".
baldinger: "i think it might have been incomplete."
summerall: "oh..."

time to take the keys away from pat.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:18 (seventeen years ago) link

oh dear that's quite sad actually :\

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:23 (seventeen years ago) link

even sadder was how he looked. sunken facial features, hollow cheeks, gaunt.... poor nearly-dead pat.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:28 (seventeen years ago) link

He filled in for Mike Patrick on the ESPN games last season after M.P.'s heart surgery, but it wasn't big or clever.

― Django Blowhardt (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought he sounded pretty good during those ESPN fill-ins, tho! I didn't even realize it was him! (Maybe ESPN had better mics than CBS?) I was hoping he'd bounce back from his liver / old man issues & do the damn thing. Alas.

ALERT: Dick Stockton is one good fart away from being totally in the booth as well.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 17:56 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah I don't know any broads who think brady is hot. i guess he is good looking and wears suits well but his face can be super creepy imo. anyway everyone knows Vinatieri is the real ~~*hottie*~~

i like how nfl network has replaced Playbook or whatever it was called with brian baldinger chilling out in his office.

― (9ò_ó)-o Q(^.^Q) (Adrian Langston), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?columnist=smith_michael&id=2646827

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 2 November 2006 22:34 (seventeen years ago) link

okay i see why you hate him now.

― (9ò_ó)-o Q(^.^Q) (Adrian Langston), Friday, 3 November 2006 00:15 (seventeen years ago) link

I burned pictures of Brady in my fireplace and then pissed on the ashes after the 2003 superbowl.

― Jeff. (Jeff), Friday, 3 November 2006 01:53 (seventeen years ago) link

I heard some spooger going on about Brady's awesome athleticism & inherent greatness & water-to-wine skillz & such on ESPN Radio this morning. As a result, I hit the snooze and slept in for another 20 minutes. If I get fired, I BLAME TOM BRADY.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 3 November 2006 14:38 (seventeen years ago) link

you will go from riches to rags :-(

― lk (lawrence kansas), Friday, 3 November 2006 15:17 (seventeen years ago) link

64 is not "halfway" to John Elway's record, I think that was the point in the article in which I kind of had a head explosion.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 3 November 2006 15:18 (seventeen years ago) link

BTW - if Brady's 2K3 Superbowl shenanigans earned his pic a burning & pissing, then what did Adam V get? A hot Carl & shocker?

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 3 November 2006 15:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Mary-Kate Olsen & Tom Brady???

Filed Under: Exclusives!

splashnews_ihpla010905f_01.jpg
27th Street in Chelsea, also known as club row, suddenly turned into Wisteria Lane on Saturday night when the police closed the block down (and we're not sure why). While chaos prevailed outside, inside the confines of Bungalow 8 a coterie of celebs mingled (or attempted to) with each other.

Seen inside the club: Paris Hilton, Tom Brady, Greg Littley, Scott Sartiano, Richie Akiva and Mary-Kate Olsen.

What exactly is MK doing in New York? Weren't we under the impression that she was going to be going to school in California this fall? I guess the tabs were wrong.

"Mary-Kate was there without the Giant," a source tells us. "She was hanging out with her artsy friends and at one point Tom Brady came up to her and was trying to hit on her."

Tom Brady and Mary-Kate Olsen??? Maybe he thought she has a thing for taller guys?!

"Mary-Kate was so not interested, and at one point she told Tom, 'Do you want a drink? The cocktail waitress is over there!'" Meow. We are lovin' the new bitchy MK!

The Patriots quarterback must be newly single - or have an open relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan - because earlier in the evening the pretty football player was seen getting quite cozy with an unidentified woman at the Maritime.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ lol lol

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:10 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.finaledesserts.com/images/photos/tom_brady.jpg

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:14 (seventeen years ago) link

http://mk31.image.pbase.com/u15/tombradyjr/upload/4450399.gotmilk.jpg
^^ waht

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:17 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.theauburner.com/images/tom/11.jpg

i expect people to explain ALL of these images to me, btw

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

the auburn tigers are america's finest fighting force, duh.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.theauburner.com/images/tom/30.jpg

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:29 (seventeen years ago) link

i expect people to explain ALL of these images to me, btw

college students sometimes ingest drugs.

that's all i got.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:37 (seventeen years ago) link

tom brady is no longer in college though.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:39 (seventeen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/truth.jpg

― gear (gear), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:58 (seventeen years ago) link

michigan played auburn in the Orange Bowl. brady was the qb

― lk (lawrence kansas), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

although this was before 9/11/01. curious

― lk (lawrence kansas), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Reviving this thread now just seems kind of unsportsmanlike and dickish, huh.

― FACTS: I'M A WAITER (TOMBOT), Monday, 6 November 2006 05:15 (seventeen years ago) link

The universe had its revenge on Brady after last week's game against the Vikes.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Monday, 6 November 2006 05:16 (seventeen years ago) link

PWND

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh Tommypaws.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:05 (seventeen years ago) link

lol nice Brett Favre imitation :D

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 6 November 2006 15:09 (seventeen years ago) link

LOL AT PATRIOUTS

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link

poor game, poor play calling, poor execution. they needed that if they were going to go far in the playoffs.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 6 November 2006 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I feel pretty sorry for that fresh sod as well

― LISTEN U TURBO CROUTON (TOMBOT), Monday, 6 November 2006 22:03 (seventeen years ago) link

that fresh sod will be gone at year's end.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 00:08 (seventeen years ago) link

lol@vinatieri :(

― (9ò_ó)-o Q(^.^Q) (Adrian Langston), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 04:50 (seventeen years ago) link

The following excerpt from "Moving the Chains: Tom Brady and the Pursuit of Everything" examines how Tom Brady is able to maintain a successful balance of humility and stardom while being one of the fiercest competitors in the NFL.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=pierce/061108&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab4pos2

― gear (gear), Thursday, 9 November 2006 02:01 (seventeen years ago) link

tough break, nigga. see u nxt wk.

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 12 November 2006 21:02 (seventeen years ago) link

word

― LISTEN U TURBO CROUTON (TOMBOT), Sunday, 12 November 2006 21:20 (seventeen years ago) link

LOL

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Sunday, 12 November 2006 21:39 (seventeen years ago) link

OMG quarterback controversy!

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2662075

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 14 November 2006 23:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Wait, Brady's only backup until now was a guy who threw a total of 33 passes since high school?

― Django Blowhardt (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 01:02 (seventeen years ago) link

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP HIRING TESTAVERDE???????????????

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 04:41 (seventeen years ago) link

how old is Testaverde? it's surreal to have all players from, like, 10 years ago still in the game.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 05:18 (seventeen years ago) link

and by 10 years ago, I mean 20 obv.

― horseshoe (horseshoe), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 05:20 (seventeen years ago) link

Dude's older than me, and I turned 43 last week.

― Django Blowhardt (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 15 November 2006 06:08 (seventeen years ago) link

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