that stuff is all deliberately overdone, the artifice is implied, and nobody is meant to take it all that seriously
Naaah... this is obvs playing to "Am I manned up to the max?" young male insecurity.
― Bodrick III, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:35 (fifteen years ago) link
surely nobody except the most appallingly FHM-ingrained Nuts-reading Bulmers-drinking cunt-faced tosser drinks Relentless because they think it'll man them the fuck up
i've only ever drunk it when it's been there and i've been thirsty (and maybe in need of a jolt, mostly caused by the placebo effect of "i think i just drunk poison")
― Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:39 (fifteen years ago) link
Well, those people are out there.
― Bodrick III, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:45 (fifteen years ago) link
Relentless is a) awesome and b) specifically targetted at emo kids, hence the rock concert sponsorships and goth design
― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:45 (fifteen years ago) link
What's with the sporting imagery in the ads then?
― Bodrick III, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:51 (fifteen years ago) link
xxxtreeeemmmmm sports
― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Although that advert where the couple go jogging through Barcelona at 5am makes no fucking sense
Yeah I mean it's quite NICE but it has this Benylin buzz to it that makes you question whether you just did some serious damage to your insides
Doesn't belong on the same thread as GlacAYau, though
Sporting imagery = covering all bases, the font and packaging has a metal/emo aesthetic, but it IS an energy drink for the mosh-happy park footballer in all of us
― Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Midpoint between self-loathing mopey emo cutters and knucklehead sports-n-lad mags fucks = ILX's American posters, surely?
― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:55 (fifteen years ago) link
Rock or sportz, it is all a bit "GRRRR!" which I find a silly and played out. Like those tees at Topman with the gothic letters and messy design they had a couple of years back.
― Bodrick III, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:58 (fifteen years ago) link
Wait, you're max r
― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 20 July 2008 21:59 (fifteen years ago) link
What? I don't even know who that is.
― Bodrick III, Sunday, 20 July 2008 22:00 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah Dom, that "worst-major-city" thread was some hysterical self-hatin' carnival of brash parochial superiority
― Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 22:00 (fifteen years ago) link
"Hydrate responsibly"
FUCK OFF
"Legally, we are prohibited from making exaggerated claims about the potency of the nutrients in this bottle ..." blah blah fuck off... "legally, we can't say stuff like that - because that would be wrong, you know?"
Legally, FUCK OFF
Srsly all this superfood food doctor shite needs to end. Smoothies all taste the same anyway and aren't exactly low in cals or sugar.
― Not the real Village People, Sunday, 20 July 2008 22:43 (fifteen years ago) link
People who get this irate about marketing messages are deeply insecure about their own aesthetic choices and are trying to convince themselves otherwise:
http://kendziora.net/photography/discus.jpg
― Matt DC, Sunday, 20 July 2008 22:51 (fifteen years ago) link
how about when a semi-illiterate epsilon-minus moronic bottle of filth tries to camarade me into thinking it's got a handle on all my deepest animal impulses and needs, how about when this happens i get a little bit mad
― Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 22:58 (fifteen years ago) link
how about when a semi-illiterate epsilon-minus moronic bottle of filth tries to camarade me into thinking it's got a handle on all my deepest animal impulses and needs
In fairness, they only needed to Google you...
― Matt DC, Sunday, 20 July 2008 23:07 (fifteen years ago) link
Simon Reynolds says:
http://www.earwigsandwax.com/images/oh-snap.jpg
― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 20 July 2008 23:11 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwd0pZ4RTAU
― Matt DC, Sunday, 20 July 2008 23:13 (fifteen years ago) link
This one's better: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8YBrS5Gr5Pk
― Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 23:22 (fifteen years ago) link
This Water? More like piss water...
― snoball, Monday, 21 July 2008 10:45 (fifteen years ago) link
This rivals Liverpool Tickets Fiasco as best ILx thread ever!
― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 21 July 2008 10:51 (fifteen years ago) link
PLANK bottled drinks manufacturers demand IDIOTIC ACUTE ACCENT, where NOW for LITERACY RATES etc
― Just got offed, Monday, 21 July 2008 10:55 (fifteen years ago) link
wait, were personal threats ever part of AINYC's steez?
-- Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 20:29 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
I think he once told me to "eat hot death". I can't remember why. AINYC rocks.
I've never seen or heard of this glaceau. Usually if I want a drink, I just fill a cup from the cold tap. Being able to do this is an advantage of living ouside of london, I find.
― Pashmina, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:05 (fifteen years ago) link
London tap water is delicious and exciting
― MPx4A, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:07 (fifteen years ago) link
To be fair, it's a lot more drinkable than Brighton tap water.
― Colonel Poo, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:08 (fifteen years ago) link
Canterbury tap water is the worst I've seen in Britain.
― Matt DC, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:13 (fifteen years ago) link
Opaque with natural mossy goodness?
― Just got offed, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:14 (fifteen years ago) link
Are you still talking about water, or casting your mind back to 'that' night?
― aldo, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:19 (fifteen years ago) link
achieving droppage
― Just got offed, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:29 (fifteen years ago) link
water from 'the garden of england' can't be that bad
― blueski, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:35 (fifteen years ago) link
inspired by this thread i bought vitamin water for the 1st time ever today & on the side it says "go party like you're blog-worthy" :D
― and what, Monday, 21 July 2008 20:22 (fifteen years ago) link
I was in Sainsbury's earlier and I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt which read "I WORK FOR INNOCENT - FANCY A CHAT?"
― MPx4A, Monday, 21 July 2008 21:45 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.elanso.com/U/D/Ddc/dcd77aa4c08d092b3b5a813481a59f3b/128517612044030000.jpg
― warmsherry, Monday, 21 July 2008 22:21 (fifteen years ago) link
Cod in Beer batter + hand cut fries
Cheers, Mate! Health conscious parliamentarians altered this traditional British staple forever by outlawing the use of newspapers to absorb the run-off from this greasy delicacy. We bring back that old-fashioned flavor with all-natural newsprint flavors derived from actual English tabloids (and in England they can swear and show boobies!).
Don't serve chilled!
― Bodrick III, Monday, 21 July 2008 22:35 (fifteen years ago) link
there's also a Brunch flavor
― warmsherry, Monday, 21 July 2008 22:44 (fifteen years ago) link
bigtime. being a friendly "relaxed" company/politician is the new being a ruthless aloof scumsucking asshole
― Ronan, Monday, 21 July 2008 22:46 (fifteen years ago) link
Hmm. Which came first?
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/2093003854_85369a993c.jpg?v=1197095572 (aus fruit juice)
http://www.studentbeans.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/innocent_smoothies.jpg (aforementioned UK drink)
They seem to have appeared at the same time (1999-2000). Curious.
I drink 1 flavour of vitamin water/nutrient water, but only the one with guarana/caffiene in. And only because I loathe sweet soft drink and fruit juices, I like that stuff, its like watered down cordial. I try not to buy them too often though, its just theft of drinking water, innit.
― Trayce, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 00:34 (fifteen years ago) link
I wish they sold the Fitty grape drink flavored Vitamin Water in uk.
http://image.com.com/mp3/images/genie_images/story/2007/1,2,3-/50cent09_story.jpg
― warmsherry, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 01:39 (fifteen years ago) link
thanks to the v similar packaging, i'd always assumed Innocent and Nudie to be the same coamany, cf this:
http://www.cvcoffee.com/prod_images_blowup/Lays-Potato-Chips1.jpg
http://hamzajennings.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/walkers-400px.jpg
― CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 09:14 (fifteen years ago) link
If you want to experience even more twee horror, have a look at the packaging for Pork Farms sausage rolls and pork pies. You can usually find them down the reduced aisle in Sainsburys because they're fuckin horrible and no one actually buys them full price. The worst bit about this is that they're trying to apply the prissy health-conscious marketing tactics of innocent to horrible grey sausage rolls. Nothing twee about sausage rolls.
― the next grozart, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 09:28 (fifteen years ago) link
Fresh Samantha was founded in 1992 in a Scarborough home when Julie Carter began growing sprouts in the basement to sell to local food co-ops.
Carter's son-in-law, Doug Levin, joined the business and began making Fresh Samantha, named for Levin's newborn daughter, in a blender one bottle at a time. A plant in Saco followed and by 1999 Fresh Samantha had annual sales of $25 million along the East Coast. Its juices carried fanciful names such as Desperately Seeking C, Mango Mama and The Big Bang-Body Zoom Juice.
Odwalla bought the company in 2000, and the Saco plant closed the following year. Coca-Cola then bought Odwalla in the fall of 2001.
Some of Fresh Samantha's more popular flavors may be added to the Odwalla line, but Sugarman said there was some overlap, with both lines offering their own versions of orange juice-based, vitamin-C loaded drinks, for example.
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 09:55 (fifteen years ago) link
> I was in Sainsbury's earlier and I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt which read "I WORK FOR INNOCENT - FANCY A CHAT?"
"Fruit Towers" is actually several units in a trading estate off brackenbury road, W6 and i often see aforementioned t-shirts shuffling into work and those cars that look like grass / cows.
― koogs, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 10:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Levin's newborn daughter, in a blender
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 10:47 (fifteen years ago) link
Pre-HI DERE FAP especially for LJ http://londonist.com/2008/07/free_tonight_13.php
― Bocken Social Scene, Friday, 1 August 2008 09:23 (fifteen years ago) link
i have tasted vitamin water, it's grim, tastes like weak squash
― braveclub, Friday, 1 August 2008 09:27 (fifteen years ago) link
Beardyman's awesome, my brain can't compute this meshing of great art and piss ;_;
― Just got offed, Friday, 1 August 2008 10:56 (fifteen years ago) link
Also "Thursday night hydration club" is perhaps the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard
― Just got offed, Friday, 1 August 2008 10:57 (fifteen years ago) link
Oh I thought it was tonight. Thursday night hydration club gives that away really.
There's a vitamin water van parked on my road a lot (it's been there since the Euro games were on actually), but it was only after this thread I noticed that it had those drink descriptions written on it.
― Bocken Social Scene, Friday, 1 August 2008 11:09 (fifteen years ago) link
lol I unwittingly participated in the marketing of Glaceau recently - some Facebook friend of mine who I've met maybe twice told me he needed to find 'important' people in the locale (NB I am about as far away from important as a human can get) that he could send free drinks to as part of some marketing job he'd just started and could I be one of them? They turned up and I opened the box and remembered this thread. Even if the garbage on the label appeals to you there's so much text that it's pretty indisputably a bad design; moreover I drank the lemon flavour one and it tasted like piss. So there we are
― The Slash My Father Wrote (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 4 October 2008 17:48 (fifteen years ago) link