pooping right before showering

"shit, shower and shave" is not an unordered list

^^^ now singing that to the tune of "Trip, Stumble, and Fall" by The Mamas & The Papas

You'd better shit (shit)
shower (shower)
shower and shave
You'd better shit (shit)
shower (shower)
shower and shave
You'd better shit, shower and sha-a-a-aaaaave

"shit, shower and shave" is not an unordered list

― kenan, Thursday, March 18, 2010 5:43 PM (1 minute ago)

see i was under the impression that there was an implied "wipe" in there but i guess to each their own

I wipe even if I'm about to shower, ftr. I just don't insist on perfect 100% lack of brownness on the paper. Just enough so that I don't have to deal with chunks or smears.

Because, you see, poop is nasty.

"As Nasty As They Wanna Poop"

Thanks for your definition of throw a barbecue!

Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to publish it on urbandictionary.com.

It should appear on this page in the next few days:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=throw%20a%20barbecue

Urban Dictionary

^_^

A+

ok thats awesome

WOO-HOO!

Maybe we should have a celebratory ILX barbecue oh wait no...

huge

Who's gonna make the bbq sauce?

Make it extra spicy plz

I was doing some digging to find the thread where I had another definition accepted by urbandictionary.com ("tijuana picnic") and just came across a post I missed last year about apple butter that has given me a tremendous headache and made me start crying due to the pain from stifling loud, shrieking laughter at work

if it's possible for a condom to be thinner than normal and still be safe, why wouldn't all condoms be that thin?

ow oh my god hahahahahahahaha bleah hAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so gross

Who's gonna make the bbq sauce?

(...)

Make it extra spicy plz

If you want extra spicy someone's going to have to start chowing down in the chillis.

Do carnivore, vegetarian, and vegan semen taste different from each other?

My point, exactly Monsieur Boule de Neige

xpost APPLE BUTTER OF ALL THINGS, I mean maybe you like eggs benedict too, but geez

In any case I hope this person has since learned important stuff about responsible ownership of a vagina

― nabisco, Friday, January 16, 2009 2:05 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dood, if some chick ever came to me all cochie-coochie with a quim full of hollandaise, I would run in abject terror.

Also, I kind of like the idea of hooking up with some girl and being responsible enough to ask if she had her vagina license on her. Oh, and proof of insurance.

Most are only covered for third party, fire, and theft.

Not flood? Shit!

"I've come to report a case of vagina theft."

"Where was the last place you saw it?"

Acts of God aren't covered either. So said the insurance broker to Joseph.

"is your vagina a thief? because it looks like it stole the apple butter from the skies and crammed it up in there."

I believe Quim Full of Hollandaise is a collection of forgotten Smiths rarities.

"Meanwhile, someone's anus has been shoplifting from the candy store."

The Girl With the Apple Butter Up Her Cooch

If there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me, I won't say no
Unless it involves putting apple butter in your vagina

Strange Ways, Here We Come

So said the insurance broker to Joseph.

Sucker bought it, too.

I have always wondered whether God in his infinite wisdom gave Mary the spine-tingling, divine orgasm she deserved for carrying his spawn or whether his whole fornicating-is-a-sin anti-sex posture led him to just send Gabriel down to say, "Lol, you're knocked up. Congrats!"

that's what the Immaculate Conception is Michael--no orgasm for the virgin

Dan, I am specifically not supposed to laugh like this at my workplace.

God is such a dick! Fcuk that guy, man! Makes a cuckold out of a young groom and totally shafts his bride.

well that's the thing--he didn't shaft the bride

Figuratively; there's naught worse than getting a chick knocked up and NOT shafting her.

I think if said chick filled her vagina with apple butter and had a Cadbury egg hanging out of her anus, that would be worse.

I used my magic YHWH powers to inseminate you. Hope I didn't disturb your sleep.

Creep!

people, this talk is disgusting. let's get back to good, clean shitting and not wiping and then getting into the shower.

What would be worse would be a MELTING Cadbury egg.

"Hello, is that the 24 hour plumbers? My shower's blocked with melted Cadbury's Creme Egg. How did that happen? Well, er..."

let's get back to good, clean shitting

I think I've identified the problem with this sentence

let's get back to good, clean shitting

hmm, interesting, i've never heard the gerund form of shit in this sort of construction before. i would have gone for "let's get back to taking a good clean shit" myself. i dig your style.

Egad, now I'm trying to think of various chattes I have tasted and wondering how to pair them with the right wine.

For X's pussy, I prefer a Chablis but for Z, I think a Vermentino's just the thing.

"Egad" is right!

can we just disable inline video links to this thread and head that problem right off at the pass

But what is the correct beverage to serve with analingus?

Tequila, if memory serves me right.

Scope

seltzer water for that bubbly tang