Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

*cough*

Errmm.... ATTITOOD:

http://www.samuelsmart.com/uploads/2/3/6/7/236793/5464059.jpg

that stuff is all deliberately overdone, the artifice is implied, and nobody is meant to take it all that seriously

glasso OTOH incorporate an unpronounceable acute accent into their name and attempt to pander to "the common man" in the most astonishingly condescending, cack-handed manner, as if there's some great life-secret of yours they deeply understand and can exploit. well my secret is, i don't like drinks that taste of boot polish

that stuff is all deliberately overdone, the artifice is implied, and nobody is meant to take it all that seriously

Naaah... this is obvs playing to "Am I manned up to the max?" young male insecurity.

surely nobody except the most appallingly FHM-ingrained Nuts-reading Bulmers-drinking cunt-faced tosser drinks Relentless because they think it'll man them the fuck up

i've only ever drunk it when it's been there and i've been thirsty (and maybe in need of a jolt, mostly caused by the placebo effect of "i think i just drunk poison")

Well, those people are out there.

Relentless is a) awesome and b) specifically targetted at emo kids, hence the rock concert sponsorships and goth design

What's with the sporting imagery in the ads then?

xxxtreeeemmmmm sports

Although that advert where the couple go jogging through Barcelona at 5am makes no fucking sense

Yeah I mean it's quite NICE but it has this Benylin buzz to it that makes you question whether you just did some serious damage to your insides

Doesn't belong on the same thread as GlacAYau, though

Sporting imagery = covering all bases, the font and packaging has a metal/emo aesthetic, but it IS an energy drink for the mosh-happy park footballer in all of us

Midpoint between self-loathing mopey emo cutters and knucklehead sports-n-lad mags fucks = ILX's American posters, surely?

Rock or sportz, it is all a bit "GRRRR!" which I find a silly and played out. Like those tees at Topman with the gothic letters and messy design they had a couple of years back.

Wait, you're max r

What? I don't even know who that is.

Yeah Dom, that "worst-major-city" thread was some hysterical self-hatin' carnival of brash parochial superiority

"Hydrate responsibly"

FUCK OFF

"Legally, we are prohibited from making exaggerated claims about the potency of the nutrients in this bottle ..." blah blah fuck off... "legally, we can't say stuff like that - because that would be wrong, you know?"

Legally, FUCK OFF

Srsly all this superfood food doctor shite needs to end.
Smoothies all taste the same anyway and aren't exactly low in cals or sugar.

People who get this irate about marketing messages are deeply insecure about their own aesthetic choices and are trying to convince themselves otherwise:

http://kendziora.net/photography/discus.jpg

how about when a semi-illiterate epsilon-minus moronic bottle of filth tries to camarade me into thinking it's got a handle on all my deepest animal impulses and needs, how about when this happens i get a little bit mad

how about when a semi-illiterate epsilon-minus moronic bottle of filth tries to camarade me into thinking it's got a handle on all my deepest animal impulses and needs

In fairness, they only needed to Google you...

Simon Reynolds says:

http://www.earwigsandwax.com/images/oh-snap.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwd0pZ4RTAU

This one's better: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8YBrS5Gr5Pk

This Water? More like piss water...

This rivals Liverpool Tickets Fiasco as best ILx thread ever!

PLANK bottled drinks manufacturers demand IDIOTIC ACUTE ACCENT, where NOW for LITERACY RATES etc

wait, were personal threats ever part of AINYC's steez?

-- Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 20:29 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I think he once told me to "eat hot death". I can't remember why. AINYC rocks.

I've never seen or heard of this glaceau. Usually if I want a drink, I just fill a cup from the cold tap. Being able to do this is an advantage of living ouside of london, I find.

London tap water is delicious and exciting

To be fair, it's a lot more drinkable than Brighton tap water.

Canterbury tap water is the worst I've seen in Britain.

Opaque with natural mossy goodness?

Are you still talking about water, or casting your mind back to 'that' night?

achieving droppage

water from 'the garden of england' can't be that bad

inspired by this thread i bought vitamin water for the 1st time ever today & on the side it says "go party like you're blog-worthy" :D

I was in Sainsbury's earlier and I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt which read "I WORK FOR INNOCENT - FANCY A CHAT?"

http://www.elanso.com/U/D/Ddc/dcd77aa4c08d092b3b5a813481a59f3b/128517612044030000.jpg

Cod in Beer batter + hand cut fries

Cheers, Mate! Health conscious parliamentarians altered this traditional British staple forever by outlawing the use of newspapers to absorb the run-off from this greasy delicacy. We bring back that old-fashioned flavor with all-natural newsprint flavors derived from actual English tabloids (and in England they can swear and show boobies!).

Don't serve chilled!

there's also a Brunch flavor

bigtime. being a friendly "relaxed" company/politician is the new being a ruthless aloof scumsucking asshole

Hmm. Which came first?

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/2093003854_85369a993c.jpg?v=1197095572
(aus fruit juice)

http://www.studentbeans.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/innocent_smoothies.jpg
(aforementioned UK drink)

They seem to have appeared at the same time (1999-2000). Curious.

I drink 1 flavour of vitamin water/nutrient water, but only the one with guarana/caffiene in. And only because I loathe sweet soft drink and fruit juices, I like that stuff, its like watered down cordial. I try not to buy them too often though, its just theft of drinking water, innit.

I wish they sold the Fitty grape drink flavored Vitamin Water in uk.

http://image.com.com/mp3/images/genie_images/story/2007/1,2,3-/50cent09_story.jpg

thanks to the v similar packaging, i'd always assumed Innocent and Nudie to be the same coamany, cf this:

http://www.cvcoffee.com/prod_images_blowup/Lays-Potato-Chips1.jpg

http://hamzajennings.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/walkers-400px.jpg

If you want to experience even more twee horror, have a look at the packaging for Pork Farms sausage rolls and pork pies. You can usually find them down the reduced aisle in Sainsburys because they're fuckin horrible and no one actually buys them full price. The worst bit about this is that they're trying to apply the prissy health-conscious marketing tactics of innocent to horrible grey sausage rolls. Nothing twee about sausage rolls.

Fresh Samantha was founded in 1992 in a Scarborough home when Julie Carter began growing sprouts in the basement to sell to local food co-ops.

Carter's son-in-law, Doug Levin, joined the business and began making Fresh Samantha, named for Levin's newborn daughter, in a blender one bottle at a time. A plant in Saco followed and by 1999 Fresh Samantha had annual sales of $25 million along the East Coast. Its juices carried fanciful names such as Desperately Seeking C, Mango Mama and The Big Bang-Body Zoom Juice.

Odwalla bought the company in 2000, and the Saco plant closed the following year. Coca-Cola then bought Odwalla in the fall of 2001.

Some of Fresh Samantha's more popular flavors may be added to the Odwalla line, but Sugarman said there was some overlap, with both lines offering their own versions of orange juice-based, vitamin-C loaded drinks, for example.

> I was in Sainsbury's earlier and I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt which read "I WORK FOR INNOCENT - FANCY A CHAT?"

"Fruit Towers" is actually several units in a trading estate off brackenbury road, W6 and i often see aforementioned t-shirts shuffling into work and those cars that look like grass / cows.

Levin's newborn daughter, in a blender

Pre-HI DERE FAP especially for LJ http://londonist.com/2008/07/free_tonight_13.php

i have tasted vitamin water, it's grim, tastes like weak squash

Beardyman's awesome, my brain can't compute this meshing of great art and piss ;_;

Also "Thursday night hydration club" is perhaps the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard