OGLIN'

It's rude to ogle. My solution is thick shades or even, heh heh, a fake eyepatch with a slit in it. But you have to train the covered eye to swivel independently.

I have a scary story about ogling. At the Edinburgh Book Festival last year I found myself standing next to an American woman of enormous girth, a sort of greying mannish hippy with a touch of Jerry Garcia about her. I realised with a start that it was Andrea Dworkin, the ultra-feminist who shook me to my core when, in my late 20s, I read her book 'Intercourse' with its thesis that all penetration of women by men is -- while the sexes remain unequal -- violation, and all literature a graph of rape.She now advocates total separation of the genders and a mother's right to execute paedophiles.

I went to sit on the grass. The sun was shining. An attractive girl came and sat down right between me and Andrea. I never know what to do in situations like this. Do you look admiringly at a sunbathing girl or pretend indifference? This time it was much worse, because Andrea Dworkin was sitting right behind the object of my lust! Thank God my 'male gaze' was hidden behind big bulbous blue ski shades.

yes i said yes i will yes.

My god, Momus, I think you encapsulated the entire UCI English/Comp Lit department series of internal conflicts in one story.

Anyway -- practice peripheral vision and when you're directly talking to someone *look in their eyes,* you morons.

But Ned the eyes DONT LOOK AS GOOD!

Sunglasses = crucial for public transportation.

Today I was ogled. White Van Man had 'thorts' on my new Issey Miyake shoes and was stranded at zebra crossing while I crossed in front of him and said, 'I do so love feedback from the proletariat.'

No comment!

So why did you write in your obit that you were run over by a bus, Suzy? Surely a white van is much more likely.

By the way, did I ever tell you about the time I met Issey Miyake in Paris? Well, he had the limpest... [white van screams across anecdote from the left]

Good God does Suzy = sassy!

Fuck-me shoes.

Nick, I always see the white van man before he sees me, thankfully. Or you are visiting London and he sees you first. Surely you've held me back from crossing in front of enough red buses to know that I probably will die under one of them if I'm not careful (or chaperoned).

There's also the time last week when me, Esther and Richard were waiting to be served in a food queue in Stoke Newington after an art opening at CELL. When the counter guy went to serve me, some battle ax did the 'ExCaUUUse me, Oi'm next' battle cry (she wasn't). Guy served me anyway, she slagged me off to her friend, and as I left, I muttered: "That age-before-beauty trick NEVER works."

Anyway my shoes shocked the more reactionary parts of London today. I love 'em.

The white van guy might just have wanted to sell you speakers Suzy :)

Where should you look when talking to someone? What's acceptable vs. what's best?

I try to ogle subtly; yes, I do, frequently. Should I? Whyever not?

Look through them! Seriously, maintain eye contact is the best rule of thumb.

Define "maintain." Staring contest but with winking?

To Tom -- silly boy. ;-)

3 years ago in soho, NYC (6th ave and Spring street, right in front of Aqua Grill), i see long-legged model woman wearing flimsy summer dress, extending full length of her nubile leonine body to flag down a taxi. she was making a kind of waving motion with her hand, the way one does. so this WHITE VAN screams down past her waving figure and the man in the passenger side leans out... and waves back. very cute.

but that is really my only cute story re: ogling. i don't know how women live in New York, I really don't. men have no idea what it's like. you are provoked, cajoled, and propositioned EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE - you cd have falling-out hair, severe burns, and reek of urine, but the second you step off your stoop into the street it's "heyyyy chica you lookin gooood... c'mon baby... you got a phone number?" damn.

I don't do the full-on ogle, but have been known to og.

i am a definite ogler, and i practise the "full-on lecherous stare" sometimes, when i am feeling very full of myself.

embarassing moment: i was in the Commerce department of the university early this year looking for a computer to use, when past me walks the cutest lil thing i ever did see. i wolf-whistled the poor dear. two weeks later i'm drinking with my friends before the Pride Ball and we end up at some strange flat where a couple of guys drag to lady maramlade and lo and behold, one of them just happens to be the wolf-whistled boy from the commerce department, and he makes it clear he remembers me objectifying him blatantly. he thought it was funny, but i was a tad shamed! (at moments like these one wishes dunedin wasn't so damn small!)

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I'm sorry, I missed all that.

di
Are you the same woman that gave me shit for objectifing porn .

I thought that was Maryann?

I thought they tag teamed me,

Must get all oogling I can before the winter sets in and all the opposite sex's beauty is covered by parkas and hoods.

Which means you have to concentrate at looking directly at them face to face, which as I said is cooler by default, so ha. ;-)