Coming out of the closet

Saying "I choose not to define my sexuality" is pretty much tantamount to coming out of the closet in most people's eyes. They'd interpret as merely a way to keep one's options open, and only a person not categorically interested in erotic relations with the opposite gender 100% of the time would want to do that, hence, the person is marked bisexual or a 'confused' homosexual.

(Sidenote: some people whose erotic imagination doesn't stop with the opposite gender don't like to term themselves "bisexual," much less the more categorical-sounding "gay" or "straight." Not sure if that'll be news to some people.)

(Little do they know that the person described only likes having sex with pita bread!)

GODDAMN PITAPHILES! SHOULD BE LOCKED UP FER GOOD!

Oh, I figured. But this is sometimes a revelation to the nice straight people I have befriended in my time. "Why don't they just call themselves bi?" "Oooh, long story, that..."

I get more crushes on girls than guys. I feel I can only sustain a long term relationship with a girl. But I find some guys attractive. If this means I'm "bi" to some, then so be it.

In other words, I completely understand what Michael's talking about. But if I were asked "are you gay, bi, or straight?", I'd say "straight", only because it's the closest answer I have right now. Life's too short to have to struggle to defend your sexuality in the form of an essay you tell every time the question pops up.

"So,does this mean that there's a 50-50 chance you'll end up with someone that you could biologically have children with?"

"I understand you believe in monogamy, but what if you have a Coke and you really want a Pepsi, what will you do?"

"It's just a 'phase' your going through, even though it has been ummm 35 years?"

Simple answer: For me,the person is more important than the gender.If you don't like it or don't understand it, it's your problem, not mine.

DB is my hero.

Does this include Pita Townshend?

Even though, historically speaking, I've always dated/been attracted to/fallen in love with/schtupped males, I still don't like the monosyllabic sexuality label. Then again, I'm not entirely comfortable with male/female labels, so clearly I'm a silly goose.

Usually it is not relevant though. I don't have intimate or personal conversations with people I'm not already friends with. Like, I only tell people I work/study with if they are someone I've become good enough friends with to discuss love, sex & relationships.

Even then I don't just say "by the way I'm a lesbian" because I don't like the whole *assumed hetero* thing so I just talk as if being lesbian is not unusual and they tend to pick it up & sometimes they still need to ask to confirm.

Anyway, I'm single at the moment so it doesn't come up a lot with people I don't know fairly well but I would never be backward about having a female partner.

I prefer the word partner to boyfriend or girlfriend - regardless of whether the relationship is gay or straight. Part of the reason for this is because I like the way the word partner includes both options and it's ambiguity makes people stop and consider the possibilites and I think it's good for people to think.

Girlfriend is so commonly used by women to refer to close female friends that the status of the relationship is not made clear with this word.

I will always take gender ambiguity as a compliment. Er, except in the sack. It should be quite clear then, ahem.

I am so boring.

If I remember the test correctly, it doesn't actually measure how "gay" you are, but how your stereotypical gender traits correlate with your physical sex. I am not a very "feminine" person != I am gay, which is the mistake that they make.

Partner is good because it also covers people who are de facto but don't like to call their partner their spouse or husband or wife and people who are married and don't like husband and wife.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2003020332,00.html

'That's my own personal business.'

'Got to stay in business!'

'I'm going out of business.'

'I got down to business.'

I had a friend who had to come out to his parents as straight... twice. (And of course at the time -- when we were teenagers -- I had a massive crush on him. See kids, you should listen to your parents!)

Of course, I don't actually REMEMBER the Kinsey scale...

Anyway, I'm a tiresome, sarcastic straight boy.

That's the fun of the game, and why that Kinsey perv came up with it.

Anyway, the phrase "big flaming sack of gay" is being incorporated into my personal lexicon as I type.

I can't stand the closet or even being around people who are in one. I grew up around a lot of conservative Catholic people. I am not gay but my parents are really gay friendly and encouraged people to be who they are, we can't stand being around these fearful and repressed religious people. We left our church because of it when I was a kid. I hate being nice just so Aunt Ruthie doesn't get offended. It's so bad that my family avoids religion altogether. I have to live and work in a very liberal community, or I am unhappy. There is no point in denying who you are, if you stuff it down, it comes back up in other ways!

1955 film of a college student's "I want to change my homosexuality" therapy session

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NDuSYQfOA

omg the advice to read Plato! amazing!

yes, that got quite a few chuckles at the Lincoln Center screening last night!

that kid would be about 78 to 81yo now. I wonder what happened.

What are your stories? Here's mine.

Of course, it's not one story.

I don't have a reference point for the story, but your writing, as always, is wonderful.