Home Truths

Momus - do you like Hitler?

[this thread gets better and better]

David, calling people assholes or Hitler Youth on, ooh, your third post to ILE is not only bad manners, it's intellectually very, very poor.

Last I checked, I hadn't published a novel for you to call a failure, or provided a surname here for your busy little fingers to google.

Did you learn to criticise Hoxton types from reading the NME or something? Are you nuanced enough to figure out that what I was saying about the vast majority of people was: unlike the people who run virtually everything they consume or take in, I don't hate their fucking guts? I just wonder why they don't demand better treatment generally and then take some decisive action to make it happen.

Hate to break it to you babe, but you and Momus are part of the 95 per cent. Cause Balzac or Edith Piaf either of you ain't.

And me?

I'm proud to be part of the 95% of the people that do the loving, the fucking, the working and the living in my town.

I want to start timing the gaps between the large fights on ILX, I think there's an exact science there somewhere.

Have we reached Godwin's Law yet?

David, hate to break it to you, but Nick and I are both better at loving, fucking, working and living than you will ever, ever be.

Mind, to make that claim isn't saying much.

Right. And you and Momus and so passionate that it took infinite patience to read the meinkepf manifesto above.

Momus? I'll give you twenty of my ordinary dollars for you to write a jungle jingle for the birth of my son next week. Come on. Twenty whole normal ordinary dollars or would you prefer to be paid in majick beans and Can albums?

if there is going to be a Top Fuckers throwdown we the judges are going to DETAILS!! And PICTURES!!¡¡!!

And Suzy Q, babe, the thought of you and Momus having sex and referencing your passion with Henry Miller quotes makes it seem...how shall we say? There is a market for everything and everyone. Fortunately I do not fall into that niche.

ENOUGH. Said the King to the Jester. NOW WE DANCE!

time to rein in the barbs, people. the discourse has almost completely deteriorated

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaark!

Christ, did that seem to be a Overpriviledged Princess doth scream? Oh doth say it not so. We shall feed egoth and she shall be better by nightfall for her illumination helps us, the plebians, with her witteth and her banterth and her Joan Crawfordth personalityth.

this be the new new nas/hova thread beeyotches

Yes Ron. I was trying to think of a way to say that without sounding like a dick. But I couldn't. Yes he's right.

and who doth bredth Momus or was he created in Cherry Red hell, a cross fire hurricane of Pet Shop Boys West End Girls, Overdue Library Books, the personality x-factor of Oxford University and Marquis de Sade?

*splutters*

What kind of dork wastes valuable sex time quoting Henry Miller? Honestly, you'll have to do better than that.

"...I havent been fucked like that since grade school"."

Chortle. Somebody better give Garth here his ritalin, eh?

Mmmm, bacon. Canadian bacon...

Quoting Chuck Pahlinuk does it for me...

Momus, I'll need twenty jingles on my desk by tomorrow or else your FIRED!

Momus: Yes boss, right away boss.

(Momus works long into the night)

HOME TRUTH: We are all whores for cash.

'Nuff said.

You can talk about but we all fuck the big boss man for money. Momus, Suzy, everyone. Only twits and twats think otherwise.

(Momus laying in bed with a shattered Suzy. "He's wrong. I'll come onto this board tomorrow and show him how wrong he is". Suzy: Why of course, everyone is wrong, everyone, HEHhehHEHEHEHEHEH..)

But now you're a Manic Street Preachers ad campaign.

if anyone signed up for email alerts on this thread theyre fux0red

and with that I will leave you lot to discuss your own brilliance and importance in the world without necessarily doing brilliant or important things (unless you count Pizza Hut jingles).

Bye.

Makes sense that he's *years* out of date in more ways than one!

I'm sorry Suzy, living and fucking, so 1998, wasnt it?

Everyday I wake up glad not to be pondered down with the weight of nothing like you folks.

I did that for old times sake.

Funny boy.

*drops out again for months to come*

Everyday I wake up glad not to be pondered down with the weight of nothing like you folks.

That is so almost an Indigo Girls lyric.

I don't know why you bother to use a pseudonym Doompatrol, it's always so obvious it's you.

Yeah it was sort of clear.

How's the book coming along then Doomie?

almost too good, dg, the writing is almost going too well. grammatically i'm as fucked as ever but it's scary on how fast it's all coming now.

obviously i'm not as smart as the people on this here board but i'm doing as gosh darnit good of a job as i can do.

it's going extremely well for the amount of interest i'm generating and me just networking myself all by my lonesome but isa comes here for the enlightenment cause i have troubles understanding things and me needs a good think up when i comes on y'all boards cause y'all so much better than me. i basked in y'all's intelligences and smarts and wits.

What's the book about?

Eh to move away from the warzone a little.....

I never give my ideas away, ronan and if you think I have, then I'm lying to you....but suffice to say it's about normalcy.

plus you can read some stuff that i've got coming out in some magazines and a short film that is being done at the moment with somebody coming out sometime soon.

ha! heh! ha!

going to bed.

i was blocked and came on here for a bit of a relief. i'm busy busy busy.

Exactly, Ronan. I liked the discussion he had with me on the Poitier/ Cosby thread, that was cool. What on earth happened?

Thanks Doomie, you kept me entertained for a good 10 minutes there.

but considering what this thread is about i thought it pertinent to make my reappearance. re: novel: think/tennesse williams/flannery o'connor/denis johnson (he's an american god)/jackson pollack/primal scream and gorecki and the gap. never underestimate gap clothing as an influence.

i'm doing an article for a well known american magazine at the moment commissioned just three days ago ummmm........what else? just little bits and bobs of writing as i am the ghetto balzac.

i was having a bit of fun suzy. matching it up with you is good fun as you can be as shitty/witty as virginia woolf on a good day. it's all writing in the end, nothing personal.

ie. I feel that I am in a wu-tang remake of a turn of a century drawing room comedy and it producees good dialogue.

This thread has bent my wookie.

sorry nicole, the thread will resume back to normal now (heh, normal). Also ronan think eugene o'neill.....the iceman cometh.

ps. i didnt steal anyone's dialogue but i think i just came up with the line that i was looking for bespoketh by me! hooray!

I very much hope the first line of DP's novel = "Momus — do you like Hitler?"

Forget that, make it the title.

*drops out again for months to come*

Well, goodbye, then, Doomie, it's... it's been wonderful.

Excuse me, somebody needs to use this door. Another cup of tea?

By the way, I may be despised and get my free mp3s trashed, but the thread soars on the Neilsen 'New Answers' ratings: 175 beats all comers. Nearest rival, Would You Have A Deaf Baby? at 112. This reality TV / all-celebrity family values thing is a winner. Now how can I make money from the poor misguided sods who came to watch it?

Doomie, I'm not complaining....this thread is just a bit weighty, if you read 100+ messages in one go.

"Momus - Do You Like Hitler?" would win the booker prize, going by the title alone.

Could it be that I'm the only one to feel betrayed by John Peel because I'm the only one to care about John Peel? Does anybody else know that he did a show in the 1960s called The Perfumed Garden, in which, a whispering hippie aesthete, he played nothing but The Incredible String Band and delivered saucy suggestions rather than his later football tips? And does nobody here actually know or value the work of Viv Stanshall and Ivor Cutler, who released rather baroque spoken word albums in the 70s only because of the exposure they got on the Peel show, an exposure impossible to imagine on any other Radio 1 programme? You can't feel let down unless you feel taken up in the first place. I probably like families more than most of you too. And perhaps even people. I attack them because they could be so much greater than they are. Flashback to the point about Terry Jones, publisher of i-D. The tragedy of his position post 9-11 is that he eradicated self-criticism, which is exactly what every institution most needs. Including the family, including the John Peel fan club (I'm a member, because he introduced me to Pierre Schaumburg and Ivor Cutler!), and including, of course, the Momus corporation itself. (For instance, I totally agree with the poster upstream who said my lawsuit with Wendy Carlos was over a crap novelty song.)

Could it be that I'm the only one to feel betrayed by John Peel because I'm the only one to care about John Peel?

No, you're not alone -- it's thanks to the Peel Sessions discs and comps, though, that he really became known at all in the States, and then to a large degree among college DJs like myself who envied his ability to control an entire nation's airwaves rather than a campus that wasn't tuning in much anyway.