― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 17:19 (twenty years ago) link
Jerry: We're four months apart!
George: Nevertheless.
(possibly botched from memory)
― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 17:34 (twenty years ago) link
"I've always wanted to pretend to be an architect."
― sym (shmuel), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 08:02 (twenty years ago) link
"I'm sorry but I'm not at home,Please leave a message, after the tone,I'm not here or I'd answer the phone,Where could I beeeee???"
Absolutely my favourite bit ever. Or at least in the top 10.
― pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 00:42 (twenty years ago) link
― Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Saturday, 10 January 2004 01:26 (twenty years ago) link
― pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 01:30 (twenty years ago) link
Jerry: So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo?
Kramer: It's just a writeoff for them.
Jerry: How is it a writeoff?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a writeoff is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I don't.
Kramer: But they do, and they are the ones writing it off.
(Kramer leaves.)
Jerry: I wish I just had the last twenty seconds of my life back.
― Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Saturday, 10 January 2004 01:32 (twenty years ago) link
-You look taller-Timberlands
― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 10 January 2004 01:34 (twenty years ago) link
George: "You can stick your 'sorry's in a sock!"
__
Elaine: "Don't worry, Jerry, it's in the vault."
Jerry: "No good. Too many people know the combination." (makes alcohol swigging motion)
Kramer with the lollypop getting bigger throughout the episode, too, was a nice touch. "FDR wants me dead."
― Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Saturday, 10 January 2004 01:35 (twenty years ago) link
― pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago) link
― saza bob, Monday, 14 June 2004 02:01 (nineteen years ago) link
"Well, it's my job and I'm pretty damn serious about it. In addition to being a postmaster, I'm also a general. And we both know, it's the job of a general to, by God, get things done. So maybe you can understand why I get a little irritated when someone calls me away from my golf."
― kickitcricket (kickitcricket), Monday, 10 January 2005 08:29 (nineteen years ago) link
This is just plain wrong. I recently watched the whole series from start to finish over a period of two weeks and there is definite, if subtle, character development.
― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 10 January 2005 08:39 (nineteen years ago) link
― Frogman Henry, Monday, 10 January 2005 09:38 (nineteen years ago) link
woman on subway: "really?"
george: "well, they hurt him bad. really... hurt his feelings".
*****************
kramer: "i mean, isn't there like statue of limitations on that?
jerry: "statute."
kramer: "what?"
jerry: "statute of limitations. It's not a statue."
kramer: "no, it's statue."
jerry: "fine, it's a sculpture of limitations."
kramer: "just wait a minute...elaine, elaine! now you're smart, is it statue or statute of limitations?"
elaine: "statuTE."
kramer: "oh, I really think you're wrong."
― m. (mitchlnw), Monday, 10 January 2005 12:04 (nineteen years ago) link
― peepee (peepee), Monday, 10 January 2005 13:24 (nineteen years ago) link
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 January 2005 15:13 (nineteen years ago) link
― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 10 January 2005 15:40 (nineteen years ago) link
Girlfriend: There's food all over this test, where'd you get it?George: From my pocket.Girlfriend: And there's coffee on it, where'd you get that?George: From the coffee shopGirlfriend: But I didn't see you leave. I was by the door the entire time.George: The door? Why would I use the door when there's a perfectly good window right here?
― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Monday, 10 January 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link
― keith m (keithmcl), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:35 (nineteen years ago) link
― keith m (keithmcl), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago) link
― Richard C (avoid80), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:44 (nineteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:44 (nineteen years ago) link
― kickitcricket (kickitcricket), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago) link
― kickitcricket (kickitcricket), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:51 (nineteen years ago) link
― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:55 (nineteen years ago) link
J:"Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives."
E:"Shouldn't he say badbye? Isn't that the opposite of goodbye?"
J:"No, it's still goodbye."
E:"Does he live underwater?"
J:"No."
E:"Is he black?"
J:"Look, just forget the whole thing."
― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:23 (nineteen years ago) link
J:"Undateable!"
E:"But people meet all the time. How do you explain that?"
J:"Alcohol."
― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:38 (nineteen years ago) link
― eddie hurt (ddduncan), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:42 (nineteen years ago) link
― keith m (keithmcl), Monday, 10 January 2005 23:12 (nineteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 10 January 2005 23:23 (nineteen years ago) link
does zemko still not like seinfeld?
― m. (mitchlnw), Monday, 10 January 2005 23:31 (nineteen years ago) link
― Nellie (nellskies), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 13:07 (nineteen years ago) link
― Mog, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 14:31 (nineteen years ago) link
― Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 14:34 (nineteen years ago) link
― earlnash, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:35 (nineteen years ago) link
― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 19:44 (nineteen years ago) link
― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:31 (nineteen years ago) link
KRAMER: Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. (sniffing wall) Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?
SALES WOMAN: The asking price is $1.5 million.
KRAMER: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there's a waterfall grotto?
― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Thursday, 24 March 2005 14:38 (nineteen years ago) link
and "Tomato sauce"
― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 24 March 2005 17:08 (nineteen years ago) link
― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 24 March 2005 17:11 (nineteen years ago) link
― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 24 March 2005 17:23 (nineteen years ago) link
Jerry: What are you talking about? I'm not gonna do it!
George: Not gonna do it? What are you crazy! This is like discovering plutonium, BY ACCIDENT!!!
― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 24 March 2005 18:19 (nineteen years ago) link
I'm also pretty sure you're not supposed to use a dOnut.
― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 24 March 2005 18:47 (nineteen years ago) link
― Huk-L, Thursday, 24 March 2005 18:59 (nineteen years ago) link
― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Thursday, 24 March 2005 19:02 (nineteen years ago) link
Morty: "I was never impeached! I resigned!"
Helen: "Even so, the press would bury him!"
Jerry: "What press?"
Helen: "The condo newsletter, the Boca Breeze."
Morty: "Pinko Commie rag."
― kickitcricket (kickitcricket), Thursday, 24 March 2005 21:18 (nineteen years ago) link
jerry: who goes anywhere with newman?
george: well...he's merry.
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 22 December 2005 07:39 (eighteen years ago) link
― tres letraj (tehresa), Thursday, 22 December 2005 07:49 (eighteen years ago) link
― phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 22 December 2005 07:52 (eighteen years ago) link