Ask Alfred Soto

just played "R[E]SCREEN" in scrabble for a bingo, thanking u.

Alfred, I'm sorry for judging you so harshly. Perhaps you didn't notice.

Anyway, you're fine by me now. Also, I like Miami. I have cousins there.

miami is awesome.

Alfred's a good dude

It's raining buckets at the moment. I'm listening to Funkadelic's "I'll Stay" and am thinking of cooking a couple of pork chops. I cringe when I remember I have federal jury duty tomorrow.

just say "they're all guilty," and you'll walk out of jury duty -- without being selected -- in just a few short hours.

actually, federal jury duty is interesting. federal district court judges are whipsmart. it's interesting to watch them judge cases.

lol Daniel

I could of course refuse to give my address except "in chambers" -- a line Mom used last year when she was getting screened to serve on a federal murder trial. She was excused.

"being distracted by pressing work commitments" also works well.

Racial slurs help too ("Sorry, counsel, but he's black so he probably did it").

sing all yr answers instead of speaking them and would at least slightly increase the chances of yr procuring a record deal before sunset tomorrow

*that would

oh, markers -- I finally deleted The Suburbs from my hard drive. My computers will dream of electric sleep more soundly.

re jury duty: just crack open a bottle of banyuls rimage les clos de paulilles dessert wine tonight, then wing it tomorrow.

Well, "no jury duty selection at this time," according to the hotline. Now I can relax.

Someone ask me a question. I got a nice tanline today!

justin bieber is terrible and his popularlity is the result of him being forced on the public, right?

did you mean George W. Bush?

him too.

RIP The Suburbs

i'm actually surprised you weren't looking forward to federal jury duty even a little, al. i've also wondered if pretending to be racist or something would work - what if they found out you did it on purpose?

i dunno how they could, racists aren't registered in any database

yeah obv but i would probably give myself away somehow

i doubt anybody seriously tries it IRL because of similar fears. just gotta keep it consistent. if you say you hate all Mexicans because a mexican killed your family, you better kill your family in case they check up on u

i got a summons letter for local court recently (got out of it via MY TOTALLY LEGIT EXCUSE SUP GOVERNMENT) so i'd been wondering about this

i'm actually surprised you weren't looking forward to federal jury duty even a little, al.

ha -- why?

idk you like reading about law/supreme court stuff so much. i guess this wouldn't be as exciting tho

jury duty is like giving a handjob to a turtle

Turtles are at least horny.

hey al have you ever listened to francis and the lights? super good 80s phil collins/prince/p gabriel thing, basically all his music streaming here:

http://francisandthelights.muxtape.com/

i love this dude. seems like something up your alley.

so do you do pr for this band or

alfred, are you on the twitterz?

Nah. Like Gretta Scacci said in The Player: "Life's too short."

I do have a blog: http://humanizingthevacuum.wordpress.com/

max, thanks for the suggestion! I'll check it out. All my favorite referents, etc.

so do you do pr for this band or

― plax (ico), Sunday, August 15, 2010 7:06 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha i mean i think everyone should listen to em! but i keep thinking its like made for al soto, its all 80s r&b w/ computer sheen

jury duty is like giving a handjob to a turtle

but it's oh so exciting for the lawyers involved.

Dear Soto, What are your ten fave singles and albums of the Aughties please? A perfunctory search on your blog yielded the expected nothing.

xoxokjb

Here's twenty albums. Don't take the order too seriously:

1. M.I.A. – Kala
2. Bob Dylan – “Love and Theft”
3. DJ Shadow – The Private Press
4. Ghostface – Fishscale
5. Kylie Minogue – Fever
6. The Mekons – OOOH!
7. The Go-Betweens – Oceans Apart
8. Miranda Lambert – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
9. Erykah Badu – New Amerykah Part One
10. Aaliyah – Aaliyah
11. Jay Z – The Blueprint
12. Bjork – Vespertine
13. Lee Ann Womack – There’s More Where That Came From
14. The Mountain Goats – We Shall All Be Healed
15. Roisin Murphy – Overpowered
16. LCD Soundsystem – Sound of Silver
17. Arctic Monkeys – Favorite Worst Nightmare
18. Sleater Kinney – One Beat
19. Missy Elliott – This is Not a Test!
20. Drive-By Truckers – Brighter Than Creation’s Dark

20. Drive-By Truckers – Brighter Than Creation’s Dark

sometimes you surprise me.

well, i guess nos. 2 and 6 surprise me, too.

no taylor swift no credibility

haha. YEAH. taylor swift is the super-duper awesome voice of a new generation.

Love a couple of her singles.

Lee Ann Womack – There’s More Where That Came From

Just read an interview with her today! She's a friends of the gays. But I hadn't thought about her since "I Hope You Dance" which was (eek!) 2000. Will check this out.

Now singles please (they're more important).

I may even have overrated that one, considering how the highs of her 2008 album really get me, well, high. Like this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKTr9pKw-5I&feature=av2e

haha i mean i think everyone should listen to em! but i keep thinking its like made for al soto, its all 80s r&b w/ computer sheen

Really? That descrip sounds awesome, but I listened to a few minutes of it and my gf said it sounded like Blues Traveler.

it sounded like Blues Traveler

harsher words have never been uttered.

never figured out what troll started this thread, but I'm grateful.

Really? That descrip sounds awesome, but I listened to a few minutes of it and my gf said it sounded like Blues Traveler.

― jaymc, Sunday, August 15, 2010 9:11 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

first track on the new album?

I just went to the Muxtape link you posted. Listened to a few tracks, but I wasn't really paying attention that much.

Right now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkM5MiPjaf4&p=325F569B393E8D21&playnext=1&index=38

your birthday is the same as my folks anniversary and 4 days after mine. Scorpio pals!

thanks!

A well-known negroni connoisseur put it like this:
“Confine your drinking to a recommended dosage of 2 of these maximum. Because around number 3, it’s where did my pants go and who the hell are you.”-Glenn Frey

well, yeah

Tequila isn't bad.

Hey Alfred if I was visiting you and you offered me a negroni and I told you I didn’t drink alcohol, what would you make me instead?

I've had more than a few mocktails, so I'd improvise something.

Not Alfred but I really like the Ritual gin alternative. Prefer it to Seedlip and Monday.

Some recipes recommend Ghia as a Campari alternative but I haven't tried it.

answer: he would make you leave

jk jk

I've hung out with fgti and I would never walk out on him

We had negronis iirc

<3

We had negronis iirc

― meaner stinks meat bake it cone (flamboyant goon tie included),

ten years ago!

a simpler time

happy birthday alfred. party's in full swing:

https://i.imgur.com/3K2gF7s.jpeg

charlie has overnegronied

I like men who dress like Negronis.

Having a white Negroni right now, I’ll toast yr birthday.

Wow, I didn't know Charlie had grown out the stubble, which I guess is no surprise given his condition at the time.

Happy birthday Alfred, hope it's a great one!

Just came across this old reference that made me smile:

i pulled this thread up cuz i'm spending tonight in self loathing mode and listening t oPet Sounds and Smiley Smile era Beach Boys (just saw Mike Love and the band he calls the Beach Boys live a few weeks ago and they were pretty awesome)....

and this thread is clearly the biggest challopser I've ever read. Pet Sounds might be 'overrated' to some degree but there's little doubt in my mind that it's filled with fantastic songs. Hell, the first four tracks are pretty much flawless!

― Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Friday, April 9, 2010 11:59 PM (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

basically old-ILM was just a bunch of trolls who hated to get trolled and eventually got older, fatter, grayer in their safe haven corner of the blogosphere.

― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Saturday, April 10, 2010 12:08 AM (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

so presumably there's a thread from 2003 proclaiming Coda to be Led Zeppelin's best album.....

― Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Saturday, April 10, 2010 12:14 AM (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

hmm when did Lord Soto Challops show up on ILM?

― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Saturday, April 10, 2010 12:24 AM (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Love ya, Alfred. Keep us on our toes.

Ha! I'm part of Ye Olde ILM, eh?

I think it was more the early recognition of your love for an imperial artist's late career album.

No, it's about Alfred being really old.

I wasn't around when those acts released many of those albums, hence my (what I thought) fresh approach.